Chapter 28
WYNTER
Wynter wanted to say it was the cold that had her frozen in her spot the second she shut the door to her car.
But that would be a lie.
Marcus’s eyes were locked on hers from where he sat on the porch. He was hunched over, his forearms resting on his knees and his hands dangling loosely. Those eyes are what did her in.
Every single time.
Since the conversation she had with Grams, Wynter had been struggling with how everything had gone down with Marcus. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d overreacted, even though she was still scared to death to face him.
“Marcus,” she whispered.
Slowly, he rose to his feet. He was blocking her path to the house, but she knew he didn’t pose any threat to her. She could get past him if she wanted to, and he’d let her.
Only now, she wasn’t so sure she wanted the distance she’d put between them.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
She took a few steps toward him and stopped when they were about four feet apart. “Okay.”
His brows lifted as if he hadn’t expected her answer. The hope that filled his gaze made her guilt that much worse. She’d hurt him. Everything her grandmother had said was true.
Marcus had been overzealous, but he’d done what he had because he was scared of losing her.
Wynter chewed on her lower lip as she waited for him to start. There were a few things she needed to tell him as well, but she wasn’t ready.
Not yet.
Marcus stepped forward, and when she didn’t immediately move away, he reached for her hands. She let him hold onto her but gasped when she felt just how cold he was. Staring down at his fingers, she shook her head. “You’re freezing. We need to get you inside and warmed up.”
“No.”
Her head jerked upward and she blinked at him. “But—”
“It’s fine, Wynter.” Marcus closed his eyes briefly. His nose was red. So were his cheeks. There was some frost in his hair, and she started to wonder how long he’d been waiting for her.
“Grams would have let you in.”
He opened his eyes, and a lopsided grin tugged at his lips so briefly that if she hadn’t been watching him, she would have missed it. “She already told me several times to come inside. I refused.”
“But… why?”
His thumbs swept over the backs of her hands, and his brows furrowed as he seemed intent on finding the words he wanted to say. She almost prompted him to speak to her again, but then he lifted his eyes to meet hers.
“You will never know how truly sorry I am, Wynter.”
Those were not the words she’d expected him to say to her. Furthest from it. She’d expected him to make excuses, to tell her he loved her and that he was scared of losing her. She’d been prepared for him to come at her with all the reasons why they needed to be together.
But an apology? Right out of the gate?
She’d thought she needed to apologize to him after the way she’d insisted he leave. Especially when she was the one who ended up taking off.
Wynter was the runner.
She’d left him behind twice now, and yet here he was, standing before her, apologizing.
“Marcus…”
“Let me talk.” He said it a little too brusquely but quickly adjusted his tone to be softer.
“Please, Wynter. I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened and my reasons for it.
I’ve been going over and over how I handled the situation, and I need you to know…
” He scrunched up his nose, a habit she hadn’t seen since they were teenagers.
It was adorable and the only indication that he was struggling with a topic.
“Okay,” she murmured.
He nodded. “Okay.” His grip on her hands tightened and he shuffled his feet. Then he smiled again. “I’m in love with you.”
She attempted to hide her smile, but it was fruitless.
Amusement flitted across Marcus’s face. “I know you know that already, but I had to get it out there in case you forgot.”
“I could never forget that, Marcus,” she whispered.
He nodded, but it seemed to be more for himself. Like he was telling himself that it was good she understood what he was trying to say. Then he swallowed, and the movement looked painful. He blew out a shaky breath and chuckled. “I’m so nervous.”
Wynter squeezed his hands. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”
“Yes, I do. Wynter, I think I’ve loved you from the moment we met.
I don’t think I realized it until that night we kissed under the mistletoe, but there it is.
Some part of me always knew you were meant for me.
It didn’t matter that we were separated for years.
Even when I tried to move on and go on dates with other girls, none of them held a candle to what I had with you.
I’ve always known you were meant to be in my life and I…
” He squeezed his eyes shut and a thread of emotion filled his voice.
“I think when you left that first time, it broke something in me.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she turned her head away. Suddenly, she wanted to run. She wanted to break the promise she’d made to herself.
But then Marcus released one of her hands and cupped her cheek. She couldn’t go anywhere. He pinned her in place with that soul-searching gaze.
“The best relationships are built on friendships. I’m not a patient man. I think if you had stayed all those years ago, I would have asked you to marry me then, too. And probably in an inappropriate way.”
She laughed, but it came out sounding more like a sob.
“Wynter,” he rasped. “You’re everything to me. You’ve seen me at my worst.” He grimaced. “Like when I proposed to the girl of my dreams in front of a crowd of people, even though I knew she hated being put on the spot.”
Her lower lip wobbled until she pulled it between her teeth to keep it steady. He was breaking down her barriers one by one, and he probably didn’t even know it.
“I might not know you as well as I once did, but I want to. I want to be the person you run to when you’re scared. I want to be the man who holds you when you’re hurting. I want to be your everything, Wynter.”
“Marcus—” she started, but he stopped her.
“I’m not asking you to marry me or even give me another chance.”
She frowned, her heart splintering with disappointment. “You’re… you’re not?” If anything indicated where she stood in this moment, that was it. The heart-stopping, soul-rending feeling of losing him due to her own insecurity was going to bring her to her knees.
He shook his head. “I just want you to know how I feel. Where I stand in all of this. If you wanted to take me back, I’d be yours in an instant.
But I know you need time to process things.
It’s that genius brain of yours. You’ve always been the careful type.
And I’ve… well, I’ve always been the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of guy. ”
Wynter held back a sob. “We’d make quite a pair, wouldn’t we?”
“The best,” he murmured, leaning closer to her.
The breath in her lungs seized. Was he going to kiss her? She wanted it so much. What she wouldn’t give to be able to throw her arms around him and melt into his embrace. But that wasn’t what he was here for.
“Marcus, I wanted to explain something to you.”
He waited. The man wasn’t known for his patience, and yet he waited. For her. Even as she shifted her weight from one foot to the next. Even as she chewed on her lower lip until she was close to breaking the skin.
He waited.
Wynter took in a deep breath and then exhaled. “I’m scared.”
He gave her a soft smile. “I think I knew that.”
“No, like really scared. Debilitatingly so. My father abandoned my family when I was little. My mom died. Everyone I cared about left me, Marcus. And I… I couldn’t stand the thought of you doing the same.”
He frowned. “I’d never leave.”
“It’s intrusive. It’s like no matter how many times I tell myself that you’re going to be there for me, I can’t make it stick.
I don’t know how to explain it better than that.
I don’t know if it will ever get better.
I think it might be a good idea to see someone about it, but…
I can’t promise that I won’t revert to running.
And I—I can’t do that to you.” Sobs spilled from her lips, and he pulled her into his chest.
She cried into his coat, clinging to him, her fists clutching the fabric.
Marcus rubbed her back. And once again, he waited.
Wynter lost track of how long she stood there in his arms. The cold had numbed her to the point that it was probably dangerous. But when she pulled back, Marcus didn’t look at all distressed.
“How can you be so calm?” she demanded.
That boyish grin could bring anyone to their knees.
He framed her face with his hands as he searched her eyes.
“Because I’m not giving up. Ever. Run, Wynter.
Go to the ends of the earth, and I’ll follow you.
Push me away. But I’ll still be here. There isn’t anything you could do to make me love you any less.
You are it for me. You are worth every risk.
Every heartache. Everything.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I’m here, Wynter. Always.”
More tears streamed down her face, even though she thought she’d for sure run out. “You’re sort of crazy, you know that?” she blubbered.
“Crazy for you. Crazy for only you.” His arms folded around her, bringing her against his chest again.
She laughed and swatted at him. “And cheesy.”
“But you like cheese.”
Wynter peered up at him. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
They stared at each other for several long moments. Until the air didn’t feel as cold. Until her fears didn’t seem as big. Then he leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. “So…” he drawled in a whisper.
“So…” she mimicked.
“Do you think if we gave this another shot… that it will end up in the same kind of disaster as last week?”
Wynter grimaced. “I sure hope not.”
“Does that mean you think it’s worth trying?”
She could hear the hope in his voice. Boy, she envied that hope. The man was a full-blooded optimist. Nothing got him down.
Nothing but losing her, apparently.
Her stomach fluttered, and she smiled up at him again. “I think it’s worth the risk.”
Marcus’s smile lit up his whole face, and he let out a whoop before spinning her around and setting her on her feet. He leaned down to kiss her, but she caught him with two fingers.
“On one condition.”
“Anything,” he said against her fingertips.
“Can we take it slow?”
His expression grew serious, and for a moment she thought she’d said the wrong thing. But then he nodded. “One month at a time. One week at a time. One day at a time. We can take it one minute at a time if that’s what you need.”
She laughed despite herself. “Like I said. Crazy.”
“But you like crazy. Almost as much as you like cheese.” He didn’t give her a chance to retort before he swept her up into his arms and kissed her like she was oxygen and he’d been starved of it. When he finally released her, she was the breathless one.
“I love you, Wynter.”
She stared at him for another long moment. “I love you, too.”