Chapter 20
CHAPTER
TWENTY
Reece
Istop breathing.
Mari is smiling, and Luca is looking at her like she’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen.
My stomach sinks lower with every passing second. Instinct tells me exactly what’s going on without me having to read lips or eavesdrop.
I shouldn’t be listening or watching. I know that. I’m meant to be a chaperone, another body present but not really here. But I’m close enough to catch pieces of their conversation, and once I hear the word claim, there’s no chance I’m looking away.
He wants to claim her.
Mark her.
That’s the next step, a serious step. The forever step. Then Luca drops the question and Mari hesitates. She can’t possibly—
She wouldn’t—
It’s too soon for her to…
But she says something and Luca yells, grinning like he’s won the lottery—which he fucking has—and gets down on one knee, taking her hand.
Spots dance in front of my eyes. I clench my fists at my sides. I can’t believe this is happening. She just met him and she said yes.
She actually said yes.
My chest feels hollow, and there’s a sharp jabbing sensation right at the center. What am I going to do? What can I do?
Nothing, that’s what. I can’t do a damn thing at all. It’s not my place.
She’s not my…well, my anything now. Not even my friend. Not anymore.
I barely register Derrick coming up to my side until he elbows me in the ribs, but I’m too lost in my own misery to care.
‘Well,” he says, nodding toward Mari and Luca, “I didn’t think we’d be witnessing Marigold getting it on with some Alpha nerd today. Miracle of miracles, huh? Guess this isn’t the boring lunch I thought it would be.”
I nearly choke. When was the last time I inhaled? The sudden rush of oxygen in my lungs has me going lightheaded. “They’re not getting it on,” I manage to cough out.
Yet.
The truth makes nausea churn in my gut.
Yet. Because they will. Luca clearly wants her. Mari likes him. And if they end up mated…
I force myself not to finish the thought, but it doesn’t help. The poisonous images come anyway.
Luca holding her hand.
Luca kissing her.
Luca being the one she turns to when her heat arrives, and when she opens for him, needing him—
Bending over, bile rises. Oh no, I’m going to throw up.
Maybe that’s why Luca’s moving so fast. He knows her heat is approaching, and he wants to be the one to claim it.
Taking a few deep breaths, I manage to hold my stomach contents down as I glance back toward the table.
Mari is laughing at something Luca says, her face lit up like sunrise.
She’s beautiful when she laughs. The sunlight catches the blonde strands in her hair and it glints like gold.
She’s a goddess among women, and none of us men are worthy. Certainly not me.
“Heath’s gonna love this,” Derrick snickers, not really looking at me. “He has one less sister to worry about now.”
I grunt.
He counts on his fingers. “That only leaves, what, two?”
I don’t answer, and when he finally glances at me, Derrick’s grin fades.
“Oh, come on, Reece’s Pieces,” he says as he studies my face. “You aren’t still pining over some stuffy Omega princess, are you?”
“No,” I lie. “I’m totally over it.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Seriously.”
“Right.”
Derrick looks unconvinced. Unfortunately, he’s right not to be because I’m absolutely not over Mari. Not even close. I think my feelings have only grown for her since her Season started. Now, I’m pretty sure I…I…
I’m so fucked.
And when things progress, which they inevitably will, I am going to hurt so much worse than I am right now.
I’d told myself leaving was the right thing to do.
After the Highbridge ball, after Mari learned I was No One, I’d convinced myself distance would make everything easier.
For her. For me. Maybe if I disappeared long enough, she could focus on her Season, and I could stop wanting things that were never mine to have.
Standing here now, watching Luca talk about a future with her as though it’s already within reach, I realize how stupid that was.
Love doesn’t change reality.
Love doesn’t change biology.
Love doesn’t change social class.
Love certainly doesn’t turn a Delta servant into the kind of mate someone like Marigold Gardener deserves.
There is no miracle cure or the wave of a magic wand to make things right with the world.
It’s time for a choice to be made. A big one.
My thoughts drift back to Rita, and Pen’s offer to return to the Ashford estate for an entire summer. Maybe longer. Maybe permanently.
Across the café, when Luca reaches for Mari’s hand again, something inside me finally settles but not in a good way. More like a door slamming shut and rattling the walls.
When this nightmarish outing is over, I’m going to talk to Pen. I’m going to tell her I’ll take the position at her country estate and leave my spot with the Gardeners.
Rita’s right. It’s time I did something for myself and stopped hanging around waiting for a fantasy.
And maybe…
Maybe leaving is the only chance I have of forgetting her.
Even if, deep down, I already know I never will.
I’m lost in thought until Derrick elbows me in the side, making sure to grind the pointy bit extra deep.
“Time to go, Reece’s Pieces.” He smirks and keeps his gaze on the couple rising from their table.
Maybe he hasn’t seen my expression, or maybe me looking like I’m going to puke puts my brother in a cheerful mood. Either way, he grins wide as we take our place behind Mari and Luca.
They’re lost in conversation, her hand on the crook of his arm and their faces tilted toward each other. They might as well be somewhere private for all the attention they pay the rest of the world.
Inside, I’m dying.
There’s no other label for the pain in my chest or the way it spikes through my limbs.
My attention freezes on Mari, the way she moves, the way she laughs. This Alpha makes her laugh.
I’m sure they’ll have a wonderful life together.
And maybe I’ll have the chance for the same, if the prototype is enough to impress Dominic Stockton.
It’s only my attention on Mari that has me noticing when her toe catches on some uneven flooring. Instinct rises and I leap forward, closing the scant distance between us to catch her before she loses her balance. My hands brush her waist, catching her before she goes down.
Luca has the same thought. He’s got her arm in one hand, his gaze locked on where I’m holding her.
“Reece?” Mari’s voice is a whisper.
Heat floods my cheeks and I straighten, dropping my hands like they’re on fire. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ve got her, thank you,” Luca says with an open smile.
He helps Mari straighten, missing it when she flashes a look over her shoulder. And for the first time today, we see each other. Without blinking. Without masks.
Our guards are lowered and the hurt in her expression is enough to flay me raw.
My apology might not mean anything but the brief touch only makes me crave her more than before. Her scent floods my senses and the stiff breeze outside the restaurant can’t carry it far enough.
Yes, going to Pen is the only choice I have left. Mari will be claimed by an Alpha, and I’d rather escape than try to live dying every day without her.