Chapter Twenty-four
Noah
When the morning came and Sailor had to go to work, I couldn't get out of her apartment fast enough.
Telling her lie after lie just to get through the night was making me sick to my stomach.
My father was right when he said I had to make her think nothing had changed, but it was even more challenging than I expected.
Smiling, keeping a blank mask on my face, kissing her goodbye, and promising to see her later had never felt so forced before.
Finally dragging my tired ass through the hotel room door, I went immediately to the shower to wash off the night, hoping the hot water could also somehow wash away my deceit.
How many times could I tell the woman I loved that I knew nothing of that night before it ripped my soul into pieces?
And when it destroyed me from the inside out, what would she be left with?
A shell of a man, a fraud, who mistakenly thought love would be enough to conquer all.
As I got dressed, a text came through, and I swallowed thickly before opening it.
Only it wasn't Sailor, it was my realtor. She’d found us the perfect house, and wanted to know when she could schedule a viewing.
The pictures showed exceptional security, a nice lawn, a stone facade, a large fireplace, and a chef’s kitchen.
Neither of us knew how to cook anything extraordinary, but it would be helpful to have the storage and space we needed to try.
The five bedrooms made me swallow hard, knowing Sailor would want to have children to fill those rooms.
Did a murderer deserve children?
My empty stomach nearly revolted, but I breathed carefully until the feeling passed.
The minute I entered my father’s room, he said, “We have confirmation that the man in the photo is Matteo Franco, Carmine’s only cousin and last living relative.”
And just like that, my perpetual headache found me again. “I thought the Franco line only consisted of Carmine, Sofia, and Sara.”
“He must have been unimportant enough that Carmine wasn't going to name him as his successor. We never heard of him, saw him, or thought there was a cousin to begin with back in the day. Carmine’s parents died a few years before Sara was born, and he claimed to be the only man in the family after that.”
I tried to massage my temples, but it didn't ease the pain. “What about Matteo’s parents? Or, for that matter, Sofia’s family? You never told me she had anyone in the States, either.”
“Since I didn't want you to know about the women being in the car that night, I told you Sofia had taken Sara and fled to the old country.
When I found out through back channels that Sara had survived, I had her watched.
The marshals were smart to send her upstate, changing her name and not telling her any details, so that she couldn't accidentally stumble onto the truth.”
He poured coffee, and I gratefully accepted a mug. “Are you telling me she has family in Italy after all?”
“When I heard about the connection between your mother’s guard and Sofia, I tracked them all down. They’re elderly at this point, aside from a few younger women who aren’t up to date with what’s going on here in the States. No one is interested in coming over here and stirring up old shit.”
“Let’s hope your intel is correct for a change.”
Dad flicked his fingers in dismissal of my statement.
“From what we can gather about Matteo, he’s been operating in the shadows for years, helping the Lombardis slowly undercut us.
I guess he got tired of waiting for that to work, and he set up the bomb at our buying location just to see us piss our pants. ”
“And the house?”
“To send a message.”
Which came through loud and clear. “What message is that? That he won’t follow any rules, or that he’s going to kill us one way or another?”
“Probably both.”
The urge to pace overcame me, but I forced myself to remain in place so I could look Dad in the eyes as we talked. “So, now what?”
“Now we follow through on killing Alessandro and Matteo.”
“Which you think will solve all our problems?” If only it were that easy. “And then I’m expected to continue lying to Sailor about my past. I’m supposed to pretend I didn't fuck up her life one night because I officially became a man, meant to start killing our enemies in order to prove my worth.”
He grinned, and it made my stomach turn sour. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”
“You have no idea how hard it was to be with her last night. She actually asked me if I knew her parents, or if I could think of anyone who would want them dead. She wants me to use my connections to look into the accident.”
Dad frowned. “Of course, that’s not going to happen.”
“But if she mentions it again, how do I say no? That would appear even more suspicious.”
“I guess you get better at lying to her, and find a scapegoat to pin it on.”
The life we led was prone to secrets and lies, and yet I’d assumed I would be different. I thought we’d find a balance where I could tell Sailor the basics and not outright lie to her face.
I was wrong.
“Did you lie to my mother? Were you as deceitful as you’re telling me to be, or did you share the ugly truth with her, knowing she was your soul mate and deserved as much from her husband?”
“The difference between you and me is that I had no secrets that were detrimental to my well-being.” He drained his coffee and refilled his mug. “Maria had no motivation to turn me in if I discussed murdering an enemy with her.”
My unease about the future only grew when he said that. “You’re telling me Sailor doesn't love me enough to bear the weight of the truth?”
“Not under these circumstances, no. Besides, it’s not just about whether she’d turn you in, but if she’d turn away from you. None of us wants that.”
He was right, but it burned me to think about it. Not only would she leave me in a heartbeat, but she’d probably run to the nearest police station to name me as her parents’ killer. And I wouldn't even blame her.
“Vicki’s wedding is coming up. We have to make our appearances, smile for the camera, and be genuinely happy for your sister and best friend to start their life together. But, simultaneously, we have our enemies taken out.”
“Because the wedding is the perfect alibi.” Sitting heavily, I thought about calling Gio. I needed to fill him in on the current disaster of my life. “I’m sure as fuck not telling Vicki that’s the plan, but we owe Gio the courtesy of a heads up.”
“That’s fine by me. After you talk to him, invite Sailor over for dinner. I haven't seen her in a while, now that she’s not coming by to check on me every day.”
My tie was suddenly strangling me, so I loosened it as I did what he told me. First, I sent Sailor a text, hoping she’d see it between surgeries, and then I called Gio from my room.
“Now you have to lie directly to her every time you’re together,” he said after I’d filled him in.
Sighing, I replied, “And it’s already killing me after less than twelve hours.”
“How the fuck do you spend your life living that kind of lie?”
As though I hadn't asked myself that very question a hundred times already. “I don’t know, Gio. I don't know what to do. If I tell her, she’ll leave me, and possibly expose me.”
“I’m shocked that Benito knew about this all along and didn't say anything. Not only that he knew the wife and child were in the car that night, but that he knew Sailor's true identity all along and still pushed you into marrying her.”
“Yeah, well, he thinks we can heal each other.” Very desperately, I wished I could ease some of the tension in my body. “And, according to him, he was shielding me.”
“He has a funny way of doing that.”
“Lying to my face and saying it’s to protect me? Yeah, it’s hilarious.”
The flick of Gio’s lighter over the phone speaker made me seriously consider picking up smoking. “I heard from Roman that Benito identified the blond man.”
“He’s Matteo Franco, a cousin we didn't know existed. He’s been keeping to the shadows, playing the long game even better than my mother’s murderer.”
Gio sighed. “Sailor will eventually have questions about her relative. Where he’s been, why you might know him, all of that.”
“Goddammit, I hadn't even thought of that yet.” I gripped the phone so tightly my knuckles hurt. “I’ve been so focused on the obvious that he slipped my mind. She knows they’re related because of the resemblance, so she’ll ask why we had a picture of him and how he’s involved in our business.”
“You’d better do some damage control as soon as possible. Hopefully, she won't want to meet him.”
My stomach churned. “Dad wants to have her over for dinner, so I’ll lay some groundwork tonight and make it clear he’s dangerous.”
But was he any more dangerous than me and my father? Or was I in so deep that I had been pretending I wasn’t the same scum as Matteo Franco and the rest of the Lombardi family?
“Sounds like you’ll have to perfect your poker face, Noah.”
“Don’t remind me.”
Gio was right. As soon as we sat down to eat at the table in my father’s room, Sailor asked why we were digging into the guy in the picture.
Carefully, I replied, “Apparently, he’s your father’s cousin. But, you see, he’s not a nice guy. He’s working with our enemy to take us down.”
“He wants to kill you both instead of making peace?” She set her fork down. “Wait, was he the one who bombed your house?”
Dad spoke up. “Yes, cara mio. Unfortunately, that’s the world we live in.”
Poking at her food, she shook her head. “All those years I spent in foster care, and I had a living relative who could have taken me in.”
My heart picked up its pace at the very thought. What type of person would she have become if she’d grown up in that household? It was strange how the tiniest of shifts in our lives could change our destiny entirely. “He’s not built for childcare, Sailor. He’s a cold-blooded killer.”
Just like me.
Her eyes widened when she looked up. “Is it possible he killed my father so he could take over his business?”
Dad covered her hand with his. “Anything is possible.”
“How awful.”
“On a lighter note,” I said, desperate to direct the subject away from all the lying, “my realtor sent me a house listing. It looks promising, if you want me to set up a viewing sometime this week.”
“That’s such a normal thing to do,” Sailor said, smiling at me. Finally, she appeared more relaxed than she had been since this all started. “I’d love to see it on my next day off.”
“And then we have Vicki and Gio’s wedding in a few weeks,” my father added. “I’m excited to watch them exchange their vows. It seems both of my children have finally found their partners.”
Her cheeks reddened, but Sailor sounded sincere when she responded. “I think you might be right, Benito. And I know you kept trying to push us into dating, so if you bent Noah’s ear, then I have you to thank for giving me a family.”
She grinned at me, innocence personified, her face so beautiful it actually hurt to look at. We’d somehow found the impossible, and it was unraveling faster than I could stitch it back up.
For once, Sailor’s presence didn't soothe my headache.
Instead, the pain ravaged through me, tensing my shoulders and neck.
Added to it was the way my stomach had been swirling all day, threatening to make me embarrass myself.
All I could do was push my dinner around my plate, pretending to eat so no one would notice I couldn't choke it down.
That was how I was meant to live out the rest of my life.
Happiness tempered by knowing what I’d done.
Never able to be entirely truthful with my wife, if I could even convince her to marry me.
Saying stupid things like ‘anything is possible’ when she asked me a direct question.
Deflection, half-truths, and outright lies.
I had become Judas, betraying the woman I loved in exchange for my thirty pieces of silver.
If she discovered it down the line, would we blow up our lives in a deeper destruction than if she found out sooner?
Sailor’s phone went off, and she flipped it over to glance at the incoming message. She frowned heavily, swiping it open and looking more carefully. All the color drained from her face, and she shoved her chair back.
“Excuse me,” she croaked, racing to the bathroom.
“What the hell?” Dad said, pushing up from his chair.
Reaching over, I picked up her phone. The messages screen was still open, and my body began to shake as I saw what she’d just read. Not a patient’s outcome; not something ugly but trivial in the grand scheme of things.
“What? What is it?” Dad repeated it several times before I could find my voice.
Meeting his gaze, I managed to grind out the words. “Someone named Lauder just informed Sailor that we have always been the prime suspects in her parents’ murder.”