Chapter Twenty-seven
Sailor
Waiting weeks to go back to work was a mistake. I should have just pushed through the misery and gone back a few days later because all I did was create another reason for my coworkers to gossip about me.
In the locker room, I overheard them laughing about my appearance.
“She’s lost so much weight she looks even more like a stray cat.”
“Underfed and unloved,” the other one said, and they laughed loudly.
When I entered a patient’s room later, I heard the tail end of a different pair of nurses talking about my relationship—or the fact that I clearly didn't have one anymore.
"I don't see him hovering around here now. She must have finally run him off.”
“He’s too good for her anyway.”
Each time, I swallowed thickly, pushing down the pain and humiliation.
My office became even more of a sanctuary than before, and I began delegating my post-surgery check-ups.
My heart hurt every time I failed to follow up with a patient, but I had to protect myself somehow.
Surely the gossip would die down eventually.
Nights were the hardest. I’d grown used to having Noah curled up next to me, but instead, I only saw him when I closed my eyes. Every night, he murdered me repeatedly, despite how many times I assured myself in my waking hours that I could survive the pain.
More than once, I remembered my desire to die that night instead of surviving, so maybe my nightmares were really just wish fulfillment.
The date of the upcoming wedding didn't escape my notice, either. I’d already taken the day off a long time ago, but I was determined to go to the hospital and find something to do to occupy my time instead of staying locked inside my tortured mind.
But my plans got derailed when I opened my door to leave and saw the ghost of my father standing on the front stoop. Stomach twisting, heart thundering, I shook my head to clear the fog of memories.
“Matteo?” I said once logic took over.
“Sara.”
He was older than Carmine ever got the chance to be, his blond hair melding perfectly with the gray. A few wrinkles showed at the corners of his eyes and across his forehead, but his uncanny resemblance to my dad was hard to swallow.
“I don't go by Sara anymore,” I said with difficulty. “Why are you here?”
“To bring you back into the fold.”
As he spoke, he grabbed my upper arm, and I realized he wasn't alone. Several men stood on the walkway, a few more flanking a black van parked on the street.
Panic tried to choke me, but I shoved it away and planted my feet. “I don’t want to go with you.”
“You don't have a choice, dear cousin.”
Though I fought him, clawing his hand and trying to make it harder to drag me down the sidewalk, the other men closed in around us as he led me to the van.
Fighting for calm, I asked, “Are you under the impression I have men of my own who are about to jump you?”
“We all know Noah Costa doesn't hold back.”
Hearing his name tore open the wounds I’d tried so desperately to heal. “Noah hates me.”
“Doesn't matter. He’ll want you back, but I can’t let that happen.”
Apparently, the grapevine had neglected to share my dirty secret with this man. “No, he really won’t.”
“In you go.” Ignoring my protests, Matteo hoisted me into the van, and we sped off.
I had to think; had to figure out how to get out of the mess he’d put me in. “I’m expected at work this morning. They’ll be looking for me.”
“You’re not on the schedule because you’d planned on attending the wedding.”
How the fuck did he know that?
“You’ll be safer in our compound, where I can undo everything he’s done to you.”
“What has he done?” I asked, scared of the answer.
Matteo scoffed. “Taught you to like them, for one thing. You’re a Franco; the Costas are the enemy, Sara.”
“Please stop calling me that. My name is Sailor.”
“It’s Sara Franco, which just proves that I have to reverse their indoctrination of you. Given the chance, they’ll own the entire city within the next five years. I can’t let them have that much power.”
Was he even crazier than I assumed, and did that make him extremely dangerous, even to me? “Why have I never heard of you before? Why didn't you come get me when I was orphaned and alone in the police station?”
He studied his fingernails. “I wanted your father out of the picture, and you were just a hindrance to my agenda.”
My heart throbbed. “What do you mean?”
Finally, he looked at me. “I was the one who made the threats to the Costa women in Carmine’s name, knowing Benito wouldn't stand for it. Carmine was supposed to meet with me that night, but I canceled at the last minute so he’d be on the right road at the right time.”
All of it was actually Matteo’s fault? “Did you set up my mother, too, then?”
“Oh, no, that was purely a coincidence. Shame, really, because I planned on stepping into Carmine’s shoes in all areas.”
Sickness swirled through my belly. He thought that with my father gone, he’d take my mother as his? “Why did you want him gone?”
“Because, Sara, your father wouldn't acknowledge me as his family member, so I couldn't be an officially recognized associate in the organization. He left me no choice but to do what needed to be done.”
I had to lean forward and take deep breaths before I threw up all over the back of the van. All this time, I had never considered that the accident could be the result of such vile machinations from a blood relative.
“I was the one who had the idea for Robert to work for the Costas. He valiantly played the long con before finally getting the chance to take out that bitch Benito married. In my mind, though, it wasn't enough if the men were still breathing.”
So Noah’s mother died for revenge after he killed my mother. No wonder her death was extra traumatic for him.
God only knew what this man planned for me. I had to do something before it was too late. “You need to let me go, Matteo. I’m not with Noah, and they hate me for what I did.”
“What did you do?” he asked with narrowed eyes.
“I made a deal with the feds to take them down.”
“Good for you!” Despite the praise, he frowned. “Clearly, it didn't work, though.”
I clasped my hands together tightly. “They’re very tight-lipped.”
We turned down a long driveway that ended with security gates and high walls, and my stomach turned over again. Once we made it inside the compound, I was stuck with whatever game he was playing.
“Listen, I really don't want to live with you.” My breathing accelerated, and I had to work hard not to panic. “I don't know you. I have good enough security at home, and no one will bother me there.”
“It’s less about your safety and more about what I can control. Besides, what do you think Noah will give me in exchange for your return?”
“Nothing,” I whispered. “He hates me.”
Craning his neck to look out the windshield, Matteo said, “We’ll see, won’t we?”
“So you’re planning a prisoner exchange on the day of his sister’s wedding? He’s going to be a little too busy to notice I'm missing, especially since we aren’t on speaking terms.”
“Don’t worry about my plan.”
How could I not when it centered around me?
“He’ll never come for me, Matteo. You’re wasting your time.”
“That’s enough out of you.”
When he leveled a glare at me, I felt true fear. Family or not, he didn't care about me at all. I was just his cousin’s child, a puppet in the stupid war he’d been secretly waging for the past eighteen years.
I was a means to an end.
If I wasn't careful, it would be my end. But Noah truly wouldn't care if Matteo called him up and said I was his hostage, so what did he picture happening? He wouldn't throw himself at Matteo’s feet, screaming and gnashing his teeth while begging for my safe return.
As he dragged me out of the van, I looked around. The house was huge, white with blue shutters, and might have starred as the princess’s house in a fairy tale book.
If not for the villain who lived inside.
Once he showed me to my room, he locked the door and left me there.
I was alone in a vast mansion, unsure if I was the prize or the pawn.
I checked the windows, the door, the dresser, and even the fucking floorboards, but there was nothing useful in there.
Finally giving up, I flopped onto the bed and tried to think.
I wished I could ask Noah to hold me. Something about the comfort of his arms calmed me until I no longer felt as though I was ripping apart at the seams. I’d spent the past few weeks torturing myself over everything that happened.
I hated what he’d done, but he was only following orders.
He’d been born into that life, and even if he knew the final outcome, I doubt he’d have been able to walk away without pulling the trigger.
I wanted to hate him, and it was easy to let that emotion take over.
But, especially now that I’d heard straight from Matteo that he’d set up his own cousin because he wouldn't give him more power, I couldn't place all the blame on Noah’s head.
He might have become a monster in my dreams, but he wasn't the only one.
Benito, Matteo, and the other men they occasionally mentioned in front of me, they were all varying levels of heathens. Even my father had been one of them.
It didn't take long to realize I couldn't forgive Noah, but I could move past it.
My heart wouldn't let me stop loving him, despite all my fruitless attempts. Too bad he loathed my very existence because of what I’d done.
As much as I wanted to apologize, I wasn't sorry for agreeing to the terms the feds laid out for me. I thought they would investigate a cold case, not layer lie on top of lie. They’d known all along who was at fault, and pretended to help me in exchange for ruining the lives of their targets.
It was some sick bullshit to discover they sent me into the lion’s den, shoving me toward the wide-open mouth of the beast responsible for the one thing they promised they’d dig into.
It was the only thing they had that I wanted beyond reason, and they knew they could lure me in with yet another lie.
I knew from the beginning that Lauder thought she was cunning, but outright lying about the circumstances surrounding my parents’ case was underhanded.
And Berkshire had known, too, each time he showed up begging me for something in return for helping me as a child.
They’d used me as prey for the predator, while knowing all along how connected we actually were.
Noah was the only man to ever try to love me, and it was so unfair to learn that he was the source of my nightmares.
He and Benito had altered the course of my life at ten, and then again at twenty-eight.
In hindsight, the night I revealed my true name made more sense.
Noah was shocked; there was no way he’d known all along.
He hadn't set out to play me the way Lauder had.
Didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch.
I’d had too much time on my hands lately to mull over my life and my future. The last thing I needed was to sit there in that room and let my mind wander even more. If Matteo had his way, he would set a trap for Noah, hoping he’d come for me and stand directly in the path of a sniper’s bullet.
Either he wouldn't come, which I could admit would hurt me deeply, or he’d die for me. Neither of those choices were acceptable.
Glancing down at my watch, I saw it was still connected to my phone. Wherever they’d taken it, they hadn't gone too far. With trembling fingers, I tapped on the call button and typed in Noah’s number. He might have deleted his contact information, but I had a good memory.
Unfortunately, it went to voicemail. Whether that was because he would never speak to me again or because he was in the middle of acting as best man for the wedding, I wasn't sure. Rather than speak out loud unnecessarily, I switched to the messages and opened a new text.
What the fuck should I say? I know you hate me, but I’m being held in exchange for your life. Hurry up and save me, the woman who disgusts you. Abandon Vicki’s wedding to come to my aid.
Finally, I settled on simplicity. Matteo has me at his compound, hoping to use me as bait to kill you.
The real question was whether or not Noah would see it. If he didn't, then nothing else mattered. All I knew was that more death wasn't the solution to everything that had happened.