44. Emma
EMMA
I sit on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the plastic stick in my trembling hand. Two pink lines. Clear, unmistakable, and absolutely terrifying.
I’m pregnant.
The word echoes in my mind, foreign and impossible. I’ve taken three tests this morning, each one showing the same result. My period is two weeks late, my breasts have been tender for days, and the nausea that hit me last night wasn’t from stress or bad food.
I’m fucking pregnant.
My hands shake as I set the test on the bathroom counter beside the other two. The evidence lines up in a neat row, condemning me with their identical pink lines. I press my palms against my eyes, trying to breathe through the panic clawing at my chest.
This can’t be happening.
I’ve never given much thought to having children.
My job was too dangerous and my life too unpredictable.
The idea of a family always felt like something distant and theoretical, something other women planned for while I chased traffickers and built cases.
I was good at my job. I was meant for that life.
Now I’m sitting in a bathroom in a Bratva estate, staring at positive pregnancy tests, and I don’t even know who the father is.
The thought makes bile rise in my throat.
Rurik, Eduard, or Artur. One of them put this baby inside me and I have no way of knowing which one.
We’ve been together so many times, in so many ways, that the timeline blurs together.
There’s no clear answer, no way to point at one night and say that’s when it happened.
My hand moves to my stomach automatically, pressing against the flat surface beneath my sweater. There’s nothing to feel yet, no visible sign of the life growing inside me. But it’s there. Real and undeniable.
What the hell am I going to do?
I can’t raise a child in this world. I can’t bring a baby into a life surrounded by violence, criminal operations, and constant danger. The men I’ve fallen for are Bratva bosses who execute people in courtyards and negotiate with traffickers. They’re not safe. This life isn’t safe.
But the alternative is just as impossible.
I can’t go back to the FBI. I’m officially dead and revealing I’m alive would put a target on my back from both Langford and Volkov.
Of course, Langford must realize I’m alive and that’s the reason he’d sent that note, trying to trade me for trade commissions.
Still, I’d be running for the rest of my life, dragging a child through that nightmare.
Tears burn behind my eyes, but I force them back. I don’t have time to fall apart. I need to think and plan. I need to figure out what comes next.
First, I need to tell them. Rurik, Eduard, and Artur deserve to know. But the thought of that conversation makes my stomach twist with anxiety. How do I tell three men that one of them is going to be a father when I can’t even tell them which one?
And what if they don’t want this? What if they see a baby as a liability instead of a blessing? What if they decide I’m more trouble than I’m worth now that I come with complications they didn’t sign up for?
I stand on shaky legs and splash cold water on my face, trying to pull myself together. My reflection in the mirror looks pale and frightened, with dark circles under my eyes from too little sleep. I look like hell, which matches how I feel.
I need to get through breakfast first. Then I’ll figure out the rest.
The dining room is quiet when I arrive and only Krystal is seated at the table with coffee and toast. She looks up when I enter, her hazel eyes warm with concern.
“Morning,” she says softly. “You okay? You look pale.”
“I’m fine.” The lie comes automatically. “Just didn’t sleep well.”
Krystal studies my face for a moment, and I can see her debating whether to push. Finally, she just nods and gestures to the chair across from her. “The guys are out. Some kind of business meeting.”
Relief floods through me. I’m not ready to face them yet, not with this secret burning in my chest. I pour myself coffee and force down a piece of toast, even though my stomach protests.
Krystal watches me carefully, her delicate fingers wrapped around her cup. “Emma, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting strange lately.”
I want to tell her. God, I want to tell my best friend that I’m pregnant and terrified and have no idea what to do.
But things are different between us now.
Krystal has changed since her year with Volkov, and I don’t fully trust her anymore.
The warning she gave me about the men using me still echoes in my mind, creating distance I can’t quite bridge.
“I’m just stressed about the Langford situation,” I say instead. “Planning how to trap him without getting killed in the process.”
It’s not entirely a lie. The confrontation with Langford is coming soon and I’m terrified of how it might go. But it’s not the whole truth either.
Krystal’s expression softens. “Be careful, Emma. Men like Langford don’t go down easily.”
“I know.” I take a sip of coffee, using the moment to avoid her eyes. “But I have to do this. I have to make him pay for what he did.”
We eat in silence after that, the weight of unspoken things pressing down between us. I finish my toast and excuse myself, needing to be alone with my thoughts.
Later that afternoon, I find Rurik in the office, reviewing documents spread across the massive desk. He looks up when I enter, his pale blue eyes assessing me immediately.
“We need to talk about the plan,” I say, closing the door behind me.
He nods and gestures to the chair across from him. “I’ve been coordinating with Eduard and Artur. We have the location secured and surveillance equipment ready.”
I sit down, my hands folded in my lap to hide their trembling. “I want to confront Langford in person.”
Rurik’s jaw tightens. “That’s not safe.”
“I don’t care.” My voice comes out sharper than I intend. “He needs to see my face when I make him confess. He needs to know I survived what he did to me.”
“Emma—”
“The only way to stop me is to tie me down or kill me,” I interrupt, meeting his pale eyes without flinching. “And since he already knows I’m alive, there’s no point in wasting time.”
Rurik leans back in his chair, his broad shoulders blocking the light from the window. For a long moment, he just stares at me, and I can see him weighing options and considering strategies.
“You’re stubborn as hell,” he says finally.
“You knew that when you bought me.”
His lips curve into something that might be a smile if it reached his eyes. “Yes, I did.”
He stands and moves around the desk toward me, his presence filling the space between us. My pulse quickens as he stops just inches away, close enough that I can feel the heat radiating from his body.
“If we do this your way,” he says quietly, “you follow my rules. You wear a wire. You have backup positioned within seconds of the meeting location. And if anything goes wrong, you get out immediately.”
“Agreed.” My voice is more breathy than I mean, but I can’t help it when he is standing so close to me.
Rurik’s hand finds my chin, tilting my face up so I have to meet his gaze. “I’m not losing you, Emma. Not to Langford. Not to anyone.”
The possessiveness in his voice sends heat flooding through me despite everything. “You won’t.”
His mouth crashes against mine, claiming me with a kiss that’s all hunger and desperation.
I kiss him back with equal intensity, my hands fisting in his shirt as I pull him closer.
The pregnancy test results flash through my mind, but I push the thoughts away.
I’ll tell him later. After we deal with Langford.
Right now, I just need to feel something other than fear.
Rurik’s hands slide down my body, gripping my ass and lifting me onto the desk.
Papers scatter to the floor, but neither of us cares.
His mouth moves to my neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there, and I suck in a sharp breath that turns into a moan when his hand slides between my thighs, his fingers finding me through my jeans.
My hips start rocking automatically, my core pulsing with desire.
He doesn’t make me wait. His hands work the button of my jeans, pulling them down my legs along with my underwear. The cool air against my heated skin makes me shiver, but then his fingers are there, sliding through my wetness, and I forget everything except the sensation.
“So fucking perfect,” he murmurs, his thumb circling my clit while two fingers push inside me. “Always so ready for me.”
I can’t form words, can only moan as he works me with steady, deliberate strokes. The pleasure builds fast, coiling tight in my belly. When his mouth closes over my nipple through my sweater, I nearly come apart right there.
“Not yet,” he says against my breast. “I want to be inside you when you come.”
He pulls his fingers free and I whimper at the loss.
But then he’s freeing his cock, thick and hard, and positioning himself between my thighs.
The head presses against my entrance, and he pauses just long enough to make me slap his shoulders impatiently.
He chuckles and pushes inside in one hard thrust, filling me completely.
I cry out at the stretch, at the delicious fullness.
He doesn’t give me time to adjust, just starts fucking me with deep strokes that make the desk shake beneath us.
“Yes,” I gasp, my nails digging into his shoulders. “God, yes.”
His hand slides between us, finding my clit and rubbing tight circles that push me closer to the edge. The dual sensation is overwhelming, pleasure building so fast I can barely breathe.
“Come for me,” Rurik commands, his pale eyes locked on mine.
His words push me over. My orgasm crashes through me in waves, my body clenching around him as I cry out his name. He follows moments later, his release hot inside me as he buries himself deep.
We stay like that for a long moment, both of us breathing hard, tangled together on the desk. Then Rurik pulls out carefully and helps me down, his hands gentle despite the roughness of what we just did.
I dress quickly, my legs still shaky. Rurik watches me with those intense pale eyes, and I know he’s reading every emotion I’m trying to hide.
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” he says quietly.
My heart stutters. “What do you mean?”
“You’re scared. More than usual.” He steps closer, his hand finding my face. “What is it?”
I want to tell him. Just blurt out that I’m pregnant and terrified and have no idea what to do. But the words stick in my throat.
“I’m just worried about confronting Langford,” I lie. “That’s all.”
Rurik doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t push. “We’ll keep you safe. I promise.”
I nod and force a smile. “I know.”
Later that evening, I sit alone in the bedroom we share, holding a cell phone. The number I need to call is already pulled up on the screen. All I have to do is press the button.
My finger hovers over Langford’s name, my heart pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears. This is it. Once I make this call, there’s no going back. The trap will be set and everything will move forward whether I’m ready or not.
I take a breath and press the button.
The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Then Langford’s familiar voice fills my ear, warm and concerned, exactly the way I remember.
“Hello, Langford.”
“Emma? Is that really you?”