13. Thrash
Chapter 13
Thrash
W e’re lying in bed at the inn. She hasn’t said much of anything since we got back. I’ve been holding her, just being here if she needs to talk, but she hasn’t spoken a word. She’s just staring off at nothing, and it’s starting to scare the fuck out of me. I don’t know if I should press her to talk or give her more time.
“Baby?” I ask, and she looks up at me. “Why don’t you eat something?”
She nods and I get up, grabbing the BBQ sandwiches I’d ordered to go from the restaurant. It doesn’t take long to get them warmed up. I hand a plate with the sandwich and some mac and cheese on it to her.
She takes a bite and chews slowly, still looking distant. She swallows and takes another bite, chewing that one slowly as well before swallowing again. Her eyes meet mine, and she says, “That was a lot today.”
“It was,” I agree. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?” she asks. “About how I’m the result of a couple of dumb teenagers that thought they had life figured out? About how my mom was killed by a man for rejecting him? About how my father is a murderer?” she says and her voice is laced with bitterness. I’m not sure if she’s upset because he is or because she isn’t sure she cares that he is.
“I’m not so sure it’s that black and white.”
“What do you mean?”
“If someone did that to you,” I say. “Took you from me like that... I’d do the same thing. I wouldn’t think twice about it. He was seventeen when it happened and has had to carry that with him all these years. Yeah, killing that guy maybe wasn’t the answer, but his choices were limited. He lost the love his life and his daughter. He had nothing left to lose. The guy who did that to his girlfriend, to his family, was probably gonna get away with it. He did the only thing he knew how to do.”
“You’d really do that if someone hurt me?” she asks, her eyes watering again, this time for a very different reason.
“Absolutely,” I say without hesitation. “And if we ever have kids, you can bet your ass I’d do the same for them.”
She’s quiet for a moment, thinking it over. “I think I would, too,” she says. “If someone hurt you or someone else I loved. I wouldn’t think twice about it.”
I’m not surprised by this. I already know she has that kind of passion and loyalty inside her, even if it takes a lot for someone to gain it. She’s fierce and protective and loving. I wouldn’t want her to be any other way.
We sit here in silence for a little longer until we finish eating. I take the plates to the kitchenette area and clean up before climbing back into bed with her. She rolls over and cuddles into my side, her head resting on my chest. I wrap my arms around her, holding her close.
“I’m glad you’re here with me,” she whispers.
“Me too, baby girl,” I say.
“It’s crazy,” she says softly. “My whole life, I’ve had this dream that my father would show up and claim me. Protect me from every bad thing that might ever happen to me.”
“I’m pretty sure he would have, and probably still would. I know we don’t know much about him yet, but I don’t get bad vibes from him. I think he really does want to get to know you, to really get to be your dad.”
“You think so?” she asks.
“I think so. Maybe we should go by the Ramada tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” she says. “Maybe ask him if he wants to go out with with us for the day and spend some time together. Would you mind that?”
“Whatever you want to do, baby.”
“I’m glad I met him,” she says after a while. “I’m glad I know the truth now. Even if it’s not the story I was expecting or hoping for.”
“Good,” I tell her, pressing my lips to her head. “You deserve that... You also deserve to know that you’re loved, Addie.”
She looks up at me, tears streaming down her face again. “I love you,” she whispers. “I’m so in love with you, Noah. Thank you for being here for me.”
“Always, baby,” I tell her. “I’ll always be here for you. You don’t have to worry about that.”
I wipe her tears away and lean down to kiss her softly. Now isn’t the right time to ask her, but I know I will before the weekend is over.
I’m going to ask her not just to be mine for now, but to be my wife forever.