Chapter 6
GUNNER
“Of course I would get you something.”
I close my eyes, but I know there’s no way I’m going to sleep. I’m surrounded by everything Alice. Her scent, the sound of her breathing, and the little sighs she makes. Fuck, I’m lying in bed right next to her, and it’s almost as if every dream I’ve ever had is coming true… but I can’t act on it.
She rolls to face me. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“Are you going to get in trouble for being in here?”
I chuckle. “What? You think I’m going to get punished or something?”
She shrugs, and I would give anything to be able to look into her eyes right now.
It’s dark in here, and I can barely make out her silhouette.
She sighs softly. “In Texas, my dad would have made an example of someone who went against his orders. But Pres, he’s different, I guess.
I don’t want you to get into any trouble because of me. ”
I think back on my conversation with Pres earlier. “If you need me, I’m here. I don’t care what anyone says, not even the club.”
She slides her hand across the bed and puts it on my shoulder. “Thank you, Greyson. I know you sort of have to do this, but I appreciate you being here.”
I raise up on my elbow. “That’s the second time you made it sound like I have to be here. Earlier you said I was assigned to you. What do you mean by that?”
She takes her hand off my shoulder and rolls to her back. “I was there in the big club meeting about me. I heard what Pres said.”
“He never said I was assigned to you.”
She sighs softly. “Whatever. I mean he didn’t address you, but he pretty much told everyone to look out for me. I just assumed you’re the one that got the actual detail.”
I lie on my back and put my arm over my face. How do I even answer that? The truth is, as soon as I saw her, I wanted her to be mine. I’m the one that made sure everyone knew she was off limits. “I was never assigned. I just sort of took it upon myself, I guess.”
“Why?” she asks instantly.
Instead of answering her, I tell her about my conversation with Pres. “I was actually talking to Pres about this earlier.”
She seems surprised by that. “You and Pres were talking about me? What about?”
I let out a deep breath. “Well, he said he wanted you to have time to heal when you got here, and you couldn’t do that with half the club hitting on you. But he said I should ask you if I need to stand down.”
I don’t know why I’m telling her this. It’s like I’m telling her that if she wants to date other men, she can, knowing good and well I could never just stand aside and let it happen.
“I don’t understand,” she says.
I clench my eyes shut and then open them. “Look, I know I piss you off because of how protective I am of you and—”
She cuts me off. “Why are you so protective of me?”
“Because,” I answer as if that’s going to placate her when I know it’s not.
She blurts out a laugh. “That’s not an answer.”
I grit my teeth. “Because when I look at you, I want to protect you. I need to protect you.” I can hear the pain in my own voice. “And I didn’t tonight. The one night you needed me and I wasn’t there.”
She rolls toward me, and this time she’s flush against my side. Her arm goes around my chest as if she’s hugging me to her. “Grey, don’t say that. You did save me. Do you know what would have happened if you didn’t show up when you did? You saved me.”
Because I can’t resist, I roll to my side, face her, wrap an arm around her, and hold her to me. “I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t. Quit saying that. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I rest my chin on the top of her head. “I know I piss you off, Alice. I know that I’m bossy and protective and—”
“Unhinged. That’s what Boss called you.”
I chuckle. “I am a little unhinged when it comes to you.”’
She presses her face into my neck. “Why?”
I know this is an important moment. I want to tell her everything. Hell, I want to claim her, but I also know that tonight is not the night to do that, so instead of confessing my feelings for her, I give her some generic response. “Because you’re a Guardian. You’re family.”
She tenses in my arms. “So you think of me like a sister or something?”
I shake my head. Man, I’m fucking this up. “No, I don’t think of you as my sister.”
She rests her head against my chest and yawns. “Okay, I’m not sure what to make of all this. You protect me because…”
Her voice trails off, and I know she wants me to answer her.
I tell her the truth. “I am like this with you because I have to be. I don’t have a choice.
I tell myself to stand back and let you live your life and do what you want, but I can’t imagine some guy hitting on you and me just standing back, letting it happen. ”
My confession silences her.
I clear my throat again. “Do you want me to stop?”
I hold my breath, waiting for her to answer me. I’m not sure what I’ll do with her request. If she asks me to stop protecting her, the answer will be no. If she asks me to stop interfering with her relationships… well, hell, I can’t imagine I can agree to that either.
She yawns again. “Right now, in this moment, I don’t want you to stop. I don’t want to even think about men or any of that.”
I tense, thinking about what happened tonight, and I loosen my hold on her. “I’m sorry… if this is uncomfortable.”
She holds me tighter. “No. It’s different with you. I know I’m safe with you.”
I close my eyes and let out a harsh breath.
Fuck, I’ve been friend zoned. This is what this is.
She’s comfortable with me like I’m some fuckin’ sorority sister or something.
Would she feel safe if she knew the number of times I’ve jacked off just thinking about her?
Or would she feel safe if she knew how much I think about her or exactly how unhinged I get when I see another man look at her? I could kill just thinking about it.
Her breathing is slowing down, and she’s relaxing against me. I know she’s about to fall asleep, and it’s going to be torture holding her like this the whole night. Her voice is thick and sleepy when she says my name. “Grey.”
“Yeah, honey?”
“Will you be here all night?”
I bite my lip. “Do you want me to be?”
“Yes,” she answers simply.
I tuck her against me. “Then yeah, I’ll be here all night.”
She’s so close I can feel her smile against my chest. “Goodnight.”
“Night, princess.”
And it’s mere seconds later that she falls asleep in my arms. I don’t dare move or jostle her because she needs the rest. I don’t need it. I can rest later because I’m going to lie here all night and cherish this moment. Who knows if I’ll ever have it again?