Chapter 10 Monroe
Weeks pass, taking me from my first trimester into my second.
I’m showing now.
It’s still subtle, a small bump under my clothes that could be mistaken for bloat from a big lunch if you weren’t looking closely.
…but it’s undeniably there. It’s my belly growing as the baby does inside me.
My body is changing in ways I can’t hide anymore, which means I’m forced to come clean to my colleagues at Suyeong Academy.
The reaction is overwhelmingly positive and celebratory.
The teachers—both Korean and expat—insist on throwing me a modest baby shower after one of our faculty meetings. Kelly spearheads the whole thing, decorating the faculty lounge with pastel streamers and a banner that reads “Baby Ross-Seo is Coming!” in glittery letters.
“I can’t believe you kept this from me for so long,” she says, pulling me into a tight hug while the other teachers gather around with gifts and well-wishes. “I thought we were basically best friends! Best friends tell each other these things!”
“I wanted to wait ’til I was out of the first trimester,” I explain, laughing. “You know, just in case.”
“Well, you’re out now, and I’m officially the self-appointed auntie. That baby is going to be so spoiled, Monroe. Sooo spoiled!”
The gifts are thoughtful and sweet—onesies and blankets and a beautiful hand-knitted hat from one of the Korean teachers who apparently crochets in her spare time.
But the one that surprises me most comes from Mr. Noh.
He approaches me near the end of the little celebration, a small, wrapped box in his hands.
“Miss Ross,” he says, offering it to me with a warm smile. “A small token from my wife and me. For the little one.”
I open it to find a delicate white rattle in the shape of a bunny rabbit that chimes when I shake it.
“Mr. Noh, this is beautiful. You didn’t have to—”
“It’s my pleasure,” he says, waving off my thanks. “Children are a blessing. I hope this one brings you and your family much joy.”
I become grateful I have Jin’s driver to help me when I emerge from the small gathering with an armful of gifts.
But it’s more than just carrying the baby shower gifts that make me appreciate my new private driver.
My feet ache constantly, swollen and throbbing by the end of each school day. Standing for long periods is becoming more of a challenge. I’ve learned to conserve my energy for the hours I spend in the classroom rather than wasting it on commutes.
The driver Jin arranged is a quiet and prompt man named Sang-cheol. He picks me up each morning and delivers me home in the evening without complaint.
It’s a luxury I never thought I’d need, but pregnancy has a way of humbling you.
Jin has been trying his hardest to be present through all of it. He comes home on time most evenings, and we’ve fallen into a comfortable routine of takeout dinners and K-drama marathons on the couch.
We’re still making our way through Oops, Baby! So-yi has finally told Tae-woong about the pregnancy, and the fallout has been deliciously dramatic.
When I mention to Mom how difficult the pregnancy has been, experiencing symptoms like nausea, fatigue, and body aches, she releases a sympathetic sigh.
“I had a hard pregnancy with you too, Moni. I was swollen and had diabetes and was eventually put on bed rest,” she says over the phone.
“Most of the women in our family do. It’s just how we’re built.
But you’ll get through it. When you’re holding that little bundle of love in your arms, you won’t remember any of the hard parts. ”
I’m choosing to believe her.
Next week, we find out the gender. I’m secretly hoping for a girl. I’ve always wanted a daughter I can dress up and whose hair I can put into cute little puffs.
Jin seems content with either, so long as the baby is healthy.
“Boy or girl,” he says neutrally, “it doesn’t matter. What matters is that they’re safe and healthy.”
I smile and rest my head on his shoulder.
Things have truly felt so hopeful that I’m looking forward to the rest of my pregnancy.
There haven’t been any other signs of danger since the mugging. Mr. Noh mentioned recently that my attacker is facing a year behind bars, which brings me more relief than I expected.
It really was just a fluke. Just some bad luck.
If things stay the way they’ve been, then I have no complaints. I know everything will be okay.
The shopping mall in Namcheon-dong is normally crowded on Sunday afternoons, which makes it even more impressive that Jin volunteered to accompany me.
The huge complex is filled with families and couples and groups of teenagers laughing over bubble tea.
He looks distinctly out of place with his naturally messy dark hair and leather jacket and tattoos, but not once does he even begin to complain.
He lingers nearby as I browse the racks of maternity clothes, his expression patient and composed. Shopping has never been his thing; he wears variations of the same black clothes every day and has owned the same cracked leather jacket and boots for as long as I’ve known him.
Yet he still wanted to come with me today.
I think he wants to spend as much time with me as possible, even if it means enduring things he doesn’t enjoy.
I pull a flowy lavender dress off the rack and hold it up for his inspection. “What about this one?”
Jin glances at it, then at me. “It will look very good on you.”
I roll my eyes. “You’ve said that about every piece of clothing I’ve shown you. Including those ugly culottes—which was a test, by the way.”
“Because it’s true, Tokki-ya.” He shrugs, his gaze drifting lazily across the racks of stretchy pants and empire-waist tops. “You look great in everything—and nothing too.”
My cheeks flush warm. “Behave yourself, Seo Jin-tae. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m a teacher. I can and will put you in detention.”
“I’ve always been a troublemaker,” he says, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Even when I was a kid.”
“You know what?” I laugh with a shake of my head. I add a dress to the growing pile in our basket. “I can totally see that. You were probably the bad kid who sat in the back of the class and scared all the students.”
“That’s not true. I scared the teachers too.”
I snort. “Of course you did.”
“What can I say? I’m an equal opportunity troublemaker.”
I’m about to drag him and poke more fun when a display across the sales floor catches my eye. It’s an entire display of baby items—onesies, miniature beanies, and some of the smallest pairs of booties I’ve ever seen.
I gravitate toward them without thinking, my heart swelling as I pick up a pair of pink booties trimmed with delicate lace.
“Jin, look,” I gasp, holding them up. “Aren’t these the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?”
He steps closer, his brow slightly furrowing as he takes the booties from my hand. They look almost comically small cradled in his large palm, dwarfed by long fingers that have done terrible things but are now holding something so soft and delicate.
He stares at them as if trying to process the tiny size.
“I can’t believe our baby has feet this small,” he says candidly. “It seems unreal.”
I place a hand on my little bump, smiling. “Technically, our baby is even smaller than that right now. I’m only twenty weeks. According to Dr. Gong, the baby is about the size of a pomegranate.”
Jin’s head snaps toward me, his composure breaking for the genuine shock that flickers across his face. “A pomegranate? But that’s so small. That’s more than small. That’s miniature.”
His gaze drops to where my hand rests on my stomach like he’s even more stuck processing this latest bit of information.
“How will he—or she—survive?” he asks.
An unexpected laugh bubbles out of me at the rare display of vulnerability. Jin, the fearsome Baekho-je, the man known as the fierce Silent Hunter, undone by the concept of fetal development.
“It’s normal,” I assure him. “The baby will grow. That’s what pregnancy is—the baby gets all the nutrients it needs from me, and it grows bigger and stronger every day until it’s ready to come into the world.”
The wonder on his face fades, replaced by a sternness. His brows draw together, and his jaw sets. He puts down the booties then reaches for my hand.
“It’s time to feed you,” he announces. “We’ll get barbecue for lunch.”
“What? Now?”
“Yes. Now.” He’s already tugging me toward the registers, shopping basket swinging from his other hand. “You only had yogurt for breakfast. That’s not enough. Not for you and our pomegranate-sized baby.”
“Jin—”
“He needs to grow bigger. Get stronger,” he explains, his tone one of determination. You’d think he’s preparing for battle rather than a meal. “You need to eat more.”
I don’t bother correcting his assumption about the baby’s gender. I just let him pull me through the mall, my heart full to bursting and a smile easing its way onto my face.
True to his word, he takes me to our favorite Korean barbecue restaurant and orders enough food to feed a family of four. We emerge with a grocery of takeout bags.
“Jin, I can’t possibly eat all of this.”
“Try,” he says simply.
I find I can’t even argue with him. It’s too sweet that he’s trying so hard, in his own Jin way, to take care of me and our baby.
We’re still teasing each other about it by the time we make it home.
“You’re being so ridiculous,” I laugh as we step through the door of our apartment. “Jin, I’m pregnant with one baby. Not five. I don’t need to eat a whole buffet.”
“You need to eat more than the banana you nibble on for breakfast most mornings,” he lectures sternly.
“The baby and I are fine.”
“If he’s the size of a peanut, that is not fine.”
“Pomegranate, and that’s literally how gestation works.”
He merely grunts as if he still begs to differ, which naturally only makes me laugh harder.
We’ve come to a stop in the kitchen, setting down our collection of shopping bags and takeout containers on the counter.
I’m shrugging off my jacket and about to put it on the coat hook by the door when a pair of arms slide around my hips.