1
SHRILL SCREAMS JERK me from my sleep, and I sit upright, sweat coating my skin.
Adrian, again.
I wonder if he is in pain, or if he just likes screaming.
It’s hard to tell, considering he is the most unreadable person I have ever met. One minute he is happy, the next he is drowning in his own existence. Add on top, he spends half the time talking to himself, and mumbling incoherent things.
“Adrian,” Aggie’s shriek comes from beside me. “Shut the fuck up. Seriously, this is getting old. Shut up. Fuck!”
My eyes widen as the world goes quiet, and I glance over in the direction I know Aggie is. It’s dark, I can’t see a thing, but I just know her face is twisted in rage, her fists clenched by her sides. She’s had enough. We’ve all had enough.
We just want to go home.
It’s seeming more and more like the world assumes we’re dead, because not one person has come looking.
At least, I don’t believe they have. Each day that goes by, I slowly accept that there is a solid chance we might die here.
If the guys can’t get the boat working, to get us off this island, then it could be where we take our final breath.
Even if they do get it working, we have to be able to take enough food and water, just in case we get stuck out there, for weeks on end, searching for hope.
I’m spiralling again.
“I had a nightmare,” Adrian’s voice travels through the darkness.
He is sleeping at our camp tonight, because he said we don’t snore. Charming.
“Well, we all have nightmares, you don’t have to fucking scream all night long,” Aggie snaps.
“I ask you, Aggie, have you ever had a leg removed?”
I close my eyes, trying not to exhale loudly.
Here we go.
“Obviously I haven’t, Adrian, which you clearly know.”
“Then, I would assume you would have more compassion for those who have.”
“Listen, buddy,” Aggie goes on. “We’re all fucking stuck here, and we’re all on edge.
You are in pain, that’s horrible, but fuck, can you not scream and startle everyone awake constantly?
Haven’t you heard of the boy who cried wolf?
One day, you’re actually going to need something, and we’ll all ignore you. ”
I stifle a laugh. Gosh, these two.
“Well, Aggie,” Adrian goes on. “Considering there are no wolves here, your point is invalid.”
I slap my head.
“Go the fuck to sleep, Adrian,” Aggie mutters.
“I’m trying, but as stated, I had a nightmare. Don’t you even want to know what it was about?”
“Fuck. No.”
Tatiana giggles from somewhere in the dark.
We all fall silent again.
I lay back down, tangling my fingers together on my stomach as I breathe. I count heartbeats, one two, one two, and try to let the sound of the surf lull me back to sleep, but it doesn’t work. The urge to pee finally becomes non-negotiable, so with a huff, I push to my feet.
I don’t bother with a light, by this time, we already know where to go.
Like a house you have lived in for years, that you can navigate completely in the dark.
Tonight is one of those brutal, biting nights where the air stings my skin the second I leave the shelter.
Damp sand and more rain. Even the moon doesn’t have the decency to come out; it’s just a deeper slate of grey above me.
I walk the familiar path to our bathroom area, seeing just enough to not trip and fall.
Turns out, for me, that isn’t always the case.
Halfway there, my foot catches on something, and I stumble, slamming chest-first into a solid wall that is very much not a tree. I flinch, launching back and letting out a small yelp. A hand curls around my wrist, steadying me, and the very second I catch his scent, I know who it is.
Ace.
I try to yank free. He doesn’t let go.
“Sorry,” he murmurs. His voice is low, splintered. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
I can only see the outline of him, almost like a lone stranger in the dark. I finally manage to get my wrist free, and take two steps back, wrapping my arms around myself. My heart is doing silly flip-flops in my chest, because it clearly hasn’t gotten the memo that we don’t like him anymore.
Who am I kidding, it knows damn well we do.
“What do you want?” I mutter, keeping my voice low so the others won’t hear.
He lets his hand drop. “You keep avoiding me. How long are you going to do that for?”
I cross my arms tighter. “Yeah, imagine not talking to the man who lied to you from the second you met him. Crazy.”
He stands there, not moving, shadows cutting his face at strange angles. “You going to hate me forever, or are you going to give me a chance to fucking explain?”
There’s a pause, the kind where your brain goes haywire with all the responses it wants to spit out, and none of them make sense, so you just stand there, breathing in the same rain-dampened air, as the man you wanted to trust turns all his focus on you.
“Explain what, exactly? That you were just following orders? That you’re the good guy in all of this? Fuck off, Ace.”
“I never wanted—”
I cut him off. “Did you, or did you not, take money to make sure we ended up somewhere nobody would ever find us? Did you work with my father to fucking sell his own daughter, and ensure she got delivered in one piece?”
He lets out a long, ragged breath. “It ain’t that fuckin’ simple.”
I want to laugh, but I’m too tired. “That’s what they always say.” My voice is low, but it doesn’t shake. “It’s always not what you think, I had no choice. You can save your sob story, all right?”
I try to push past him again because it’s starting to drizzle and I’m not about to have this conversation while my bladder is actively rebelling.
He lets me go this time. As I brush by, he calls after me.
“You can hate me all you want, but you don’t know what your father is capable of and if you want the truth, I’m willing to give it. ”
I freeze, my foot stepping into a muddy puddle that makes all the rage inside me bubble up.
“Don’t pretend like you care,” I snap.
His voice, now just above a whisper, is so damned painful it almost splits me open. “I do. That’s the fucking problem.”
I don’t turn back. I don’t ask the question that wants to crawl out of my throat. Instead, I storm off into the trees, shoes sinking in wet mud, and do what I came out here to do.
When I crawl back into the shelter, Aggie is waiting, and even though I can’t see her, I know she is going to ask the same question she always asks. “You good?”
I tug the blanket over my legs because my feet are freezing from the water I just had to use to wash the damn mud off. “Yeah,” I say, but the word tastes sour. “Everything’s just fucking perfect.”
Aggie laughs, but it’s so bitter, a therapist would probably be concerned. “Yeah, isn’t it always.”
I close my eyes and try not to think about Ace. Or my father. Or the horror story that is real life. I dream of going home, but not to the place I grew up. No, to a place nobody can find me, where I can live my life just as I want, without a single ounce of betrayal from those I love.
What a fucking fantasy that is.
“THE SUN! IT’S OUT!”
I wake, once again, to the sound of Adrian screeching. Only this time, it’s a positive sound, so there’s that. I blink, and the moment my eyes open, I instantly squeeze them shut because the sunlight blasting into our camp is so bright, it hurts.
I sit up, a sudden rush of pure joy filling my chest as I stare out at the perfect blue sky.
In all my life, if you asked me if the sky could bring me such happiness, I would have laughed in your face. But here I am, feeling like I just won the lottery, unable to wipe the smile off my face as I push to my feet, watching the others come out of their slumber.
For once, Adrian’s shriek isn’t met with curses. Aggie squints into the sun, then lets out this weird little squeal, echoing him. Tatiana flies up off her bed, arms thrown high. Even Rachel, who has not smiled in a week, lets her lips curve.
Everything looks different, hyper-real, as if someone took all the grey film from the world and replaced it with colour.
The ocean isn’t steel, it’s blue—actually blue, like in a travel brochure.
Our wet clothes and blankets steam in the sudden light, and the birds are chirping so loudly, I think even they are celebrating.
I can’t help myself—I run straight into the sunshine and tilt my head back, letting the warmth hit my face.
I stand there as long as I can, burning it in, memorising what happy feels like.
Eventually, voices break the trance. I turn, see Kellen and Zeke coming up the beach toward us, swagger dialled up to eleven, like they personally arranged for the sun.
Kellen’s carrying a machete and doing this ridiculous twirl with it, the blade flashing in the light. Zeke has a bundle of what looks like rope hanging over his shoulder.
“Ladies,” Zeke calls, “Are we seeing this glorious sun?”
I don’t see Ace behind them, and I wonder if our fight last night has kept him away.
“It’s heaven,” Tatiana sighs.
“It is heaven,” Kellen agrees, “But it also means we need to get some work done before the rain returns.”
Aggie throws a stick at him. “Can’t you let us enjoy the sun for five minutes before you put us to work?” She has a point, but the truth is, none of us are going to waste the first dry day by not preparing what we can.
“Rain’ll be back,” Kellen says, planting the machete in the sand. “We have to stack as much wood as possible—let it sun-cure, then haul it up to the cave before the next storm.”
Rachel joins us, and her eyes lock with Kellen’s. I glance between the two of them, really wanting to know more about the whole situation, but Kellen turns his attention to Aggie who shoves his shoulder. He gives her a grin, that has me even more confused.
Is this man into both of them?
“Well, I’m not on wood duty. We’re doing other things today, food probably.”
“That works,” Zeke answers.