2
“CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING yet?” I ask Aggie, who has the scope up to her eye as she scours the horizon.
We’ve been at our cave hideout for about two hours now, and none of us have been able to put the scope down.
Constantly checking, seeing if the ship is moving closer or further away.
Kellen set us up so we can see the creek, because he thinks if they stop here, it will be looking for food and water.
At least we can see what we’re dealing with.
I hope if they stop, they have no plans on staying, because if they do, we’re in big trouble.
We’re no match for pirates, not even if all the guys are great fighters.
A gun will outlast any fist.
“I think...” Aggie pauses, then puts the scope down. “It’s coming in this direction now.”
Kellen is on his feet in seconds, snatching the scope off her. Ace is quickly by his side. He looks out, then lets out a curse. “Fuck me, she’s right. They’re coming towards the island.”
“What if they saw us?” Rachel whispers. “We saw them on a scope, who’s to say they didn’t see us?”
We all fall silent, and my heart feels like it might just jump into my throat.
“We’re fucking dead,” Aggie hisses, crouched beside me. “We’re so, so dead, that’s what’s happening here.”
Which, for the first time in weeks, feels like it could be true.
“They didn’t see us,” Zeke answers, low. “If they’d seen us, they’d be hauling arse in this direction, no doubt blowing off cannons.”
I believe he’s right, mostly because we can only just make out their boat, so there’s a solid chance they didn’t see a bunch of people running around. Still, the thought makes me shiver.
“I’m just saying, we should be ready,” Rachel mutters.
Which, of all the things to say, is probably the least useful.
Nobody here has had a single moment of comfort for forty-three days, but Rachel just likes to narrate the obvious.
I peer down at the beach, through a gap in the rock.
I wonder if they will just collect water and leave?
That’s all we can hope for. I sit back down, bringing my knees to my chest and waiting, just like everyone else.
What is there to do or say? We just have to wait. As painful and gruelling as that is.
The next two hours drag, but finally, we have a clear view of the ship.
If I squint, I can make out paint scrawled on the hull—something like a skull and some letters.
She leans a little to one side, like she’s been patched together by nightmares, but whoever is on board seems pretty comfortable just hauling an anchor into the ocean, unbothered by who could be around.
They don’t even try to come quietly—the little raft they send out is quickly filled with men, by the looks, and they’re not quiet.
I count heads as they finally reach the shore and climb out. Six men, three women, and a young woman who might only be eighteen, if she’s lucky.
Aggie sucks in her breath. “Jesus. Look at them.”
I do.
We all do.
The men are massive and look just like they rolled out of a dirty bar somewhere.
They are all barefoot, wearing ragged clothes, and judging by the scuff on their faces and missing teeth, they have been out on the sea a long damn time.
The women are almost worse. One has a streak of blue hair, tied up in a knot, and her face is sharp, feral.
The others are stacked in mismatched layers, half-naked, and two of them start fighting immediately, throwing slaps and shoving each other before one just kicks the other in the shin.
The youngest girl is the only one not moving.
She stands by the edge of the water, alone, arms wrapped around herself, staring at the sand between her toes.
They have supplies—big yellow water tanks, sacks.
The instant they’re clear of the surf, one of the men hauls up a bottle and starts swinging it, chugging.
Judging by the way another man snatches it and takes a long drink, I would say it isn’t water.
Tatiana’s eyes are fixed on the young girl, who has this beautiful blonde hair, flowing in the breeze. “She’s so young. Gosh, she would barely be eighteen.”
I nod, wishing I hadn’t noticed her at all.
The next hour is the worst kind of anxiety I have ever lived through. Like with every passing second, we become even more afraid of the fact that they might find us.
The pirates immediately begin scouring the land, and Kellen stands beside me, fists balled, watching as they find the water. I know what he’s thinking: get the water and leave. Just fucking leave.
Time slows to a crawl.
We just sit and listen to the squelch and cuss of pirates as they argue over nothing, watch as the young girl sits farther from the group, until a woman with the blue hair walks over and smacks her, barking something in a language I don’t know.
The girl gets up and walks a little farther, like she can outpace the world.
Two of the men disappear into the woods, and Tatiana freaks out, saying we should leave, run, hide, but Ace calms her down.
A minute later, they come back laughing and shoving each other.
Eventually, they start a fire, barely twenty feet from the creek mouth.
Not a single one of them looks up or around, or even seems to notice the caves and rocks.
Aggie shivers beside me, and I realise we’re both huddled so close together, my arm is asleep.
Ace is standing at the edge of a rock, arms crossed, shoulder leaning against it.
He hasn’t taken his eyes off the group, and I know that right now, he’s coming up with a plan just in case they come this way.
“Do we have a plan?” I ask, curious. “If they come up here?”
Zeke shakes his head, just a shared look with Ace, and I can read it: we don’t. We just watch and wait, and hope they’re too drunk or dumb to care.
We wait, and the waiting starts to make me feel insane.
Every time someone stands up, I flinch. Every time a voice gets too loud, I wonder if they’ve found evidence of us.
For a while, one of the women walks up and down the edge of the trees, looking for something.
Maybe she’s just bored, or maybe she’s looking for a reason.
Once, the younger girl starts walking in our direction, so slow and careful that my spine locks up.
She gets within maybe thirty yards, kneels, and...
cries? She’s hunched over, her shoulders shaking.
Then she stands and walks back towards the pirates, her chin tucked into her chest.
Aggie’s whisper is almost imperceptible. “Do you think we could help her?”
No, I almost tell her. We can’t help anyone. We can’t even help ourselves.
But instead I say, “If we make a sound, we’re dead. So, we have to stay here. I know it’s hard. I want to go and take her so badly, too.”
I think we all do.
“Do you think she has been taken?” Tatiana whispers, shuffling closer until her thigh touches mine.
Adrian and Rachel have both fallen asleep, or at least, they’re pretending to be so they don’t have to keep thinking about the situation before us.
“She doesn’t look like she is there willingly,” Aggie mutters. “She looks so scared. There has to be something we can do.”
“As much as I wish there was, we can’t. If we show our presence, all of our lives are in danger,” I say, and even though I know that is the truth, the words make my heart ache.
“That could have been us, you know,” Aggie whispers, and Tatiana flinches beside me.
She’s right, though.
It could have been.
We all fall silent again, but Tatiana reaches over, taking my hand and squeezing.
Night eventually comes, and we lose direct sight of them. We can only see the low glow of their fire.
“Try and sleep,” Ace murmurs, his voice low as he looks in my direction. “We’ll keep watch.”
“Yeah,” Zeke agrees. “No point in you girls staying up all night. Lie down, we will wake you if we need.”
They’re right, what else do we do?
I use my old jacket as a pillow and lie down.
It’s strange how quickly I have become used to sleeping on firm surfaces.
If you had asked me years ago if I could spend a night on a rock, I would have laughed.
But here I am, stretched out on the cool rock, a jumper under my head, just staring out at the stars.
I don’t sleep. I can’t.
Every time I hear one of the guys shift, or move, I expect them to suddenly announce it’s time to run, but they don’t.
No, the night just falls silent, and if I close my eyes and breathe, I can almost imagine I am anywhere else.
Right now, I have never wanted anything more in my life.
I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT I manage to drift off to sleep.
When I wake, my back aches and it takes me a moment to remember where I am.
Blinking, the heavy darkness surrounds me.
I’m used to a fire, something to light up the area, but right now, there is nothing but pure night.
Not even the moon is shining, as the dreaded rain clouds have come back and covered it, though as of right now, it hasn’t started raining.
Gosh, I hope it doesn’t, because if it does then we will get cold, fast.
Pushing to my feet, heart racing, I try to look around but I can’t see anything.
A panic grips me, one I haven’t felt at all since I’ve been here. It’s like this deep desperation, as if I am trapped in a nightmare I can’t get out of.
“Hey.”
A voice from the darkness.
Ace.
“You good?”
It’s then I realise my breathing is heavy, as if I am panting after a run.
I can’t answer him, my hands wave out in front of me, hating that I can’t see.
A warm hand curls around one of them, and then I’m being pulled into a hard, familiar chest.
Every part of me knows I should push him away, I should push him off, but I can’t seem to make myself move.
Not when his arms circle me, a comfort I didn’t even realise I needed.
When my face squashes into his chest a little deeper, and I can hear his heartbeat, I know that I am done for.
I couldn’t step back now, even if I tried.
Even if I wanted to, pulling away in this second would make this situation feel so much worse.
So, I stay.
I stand there in the perfect black, rigid, insides shaking. Ace doesn’t say anything, just holds me. The way he always holds me—like someone who knows how to fight, but also like someone who could shatter if you dropped him hard enough. I wonder if it’s possible to be both.
For a long time, it’s just my heartbeat, and the foggy, too-warm breath shared between us.
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who needed to be held by anyone, especially not like this.
Especially not by Ace, who I still haven’t forgiven for what he did, or what he’s done, which is just about everything.
But in the black, it’s hard to sort out all the ways I want to punish him.
“I hate the dark,” I whisper.
His hand settles against my hair. He smells of salt and smoke. “You’re alright, Gracie. We’re all alright.”
I shake my head so hard I think he will feel it in his jaw. “I’m not, though. I’m not.”
He pulls me tighter, until his stupid heartbeat is the only thing in the universe that makes sense. “You want to sit?”
I nod, or maybe I just collapse, because suddenly I’m on the ground, and he’s still holding on.
The cave air is cool, but our bodies are warm, pressed together.
The darkness is so thick it feels like being underwater, and all the bad memories want to crawl up my throat and choke me.
I can’t keep it in. Maybe it’s the pirates, or the situation, or maybe I’m just so damn tired.
But I lose it.
I don’t mean to, and I don’t want to, but I do.
The first sob bubbles up and before I can even try to force it down, it expands, until it fills me, until it’s all I can do to breathe through the pain.
He doesn’t say anything stupid like Don’t cry or It’ll be okay.
He just rubs my back in slow, careful circles, letting me cry until there’s nothing left in me.
I don’t know how long I sit there, ugly-crying into his chest. He doesn’t move. My breathing gets raspy and I finally pull back, swiping my face. It’s pitch dark but I can feel those eyes on me. “Sorry,” I mutter.
“For what?”
I shake my head. “I shouldn’t be like this. I should be the strong one. I should...”
He cuts me off. “You don’t have to be anything. We’re all just doin’ the best we can.”
“This is all so fucked.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he murmurs, against my hair.
“I don’t see how.”
“You let me talk to you, you let me back in, let me explain...”
I pull away.
An automatic reaction, but one that hurts him. I can hear it when he sucks in a breath.
“Gracie...”
“I know that you regret what you did, Ace. I can see that in you. But a choice was made, and that choice has cost us all so much. I don’t...I just don’t know if I will ever feel the same way after that.”
He falls silent, for a long moment.
“I’m fuckin’ sorry, for whatever that’s worth.”
“I believe you,” I whisper. “But I have to ask myself what kind of man you really are, if you were willing to hand innocent girls over to be sold, just to pay off your own debts.”
“It wasn’t...”
I cut him off. “Maybe it wasn’t, honestly, I don’t want to know the reason why because it doesn’t feel like any reason will justify it. You were going to sell us, Ace. You were delivering us to a fate so bad, I wouldn’t even send my worst fucking enemy to endure it.”
“I know,” he growls, low. “I fuckin’ know.”
“Then stop asking me to forgive you,” I whisper. “Because...I just fucking can’t. I can’t. Please, just stop. Leave me alone. You’re making this so much fucking harder than it has to be.”
Someone shifts before he can answer, and then I hear the shuffling of feet.
The conversation is cut short, and I scoot away from Ace with an ache in my heart that feels unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s deep and jarring, like someone has their hands around it and is squeezing so hard I find it hard to breathe.
I don’t want this to be the end of the story for Ace and me, but I don’t know how I can ever look past what happened.
Right now, I don’t know anything.
I just want to get off this island.