Chapter 8
I’m still riding high when Alex hands Katie the immunity idol a little while later, as though my body is somewhere up in the clouds. Just knowing that none of us is going home tonight, that I can spend the rest of the day not having to strategize, is an excellent feeling.
Actually, I quickly correct myself, that’s not exactly right. I don’t think it’s ever possible to completely stop strategizing, not in this game. But at least it won’t be nearly as bad as if we had lost, and more importantly, I’m safe for another few days.
Alex lets us cheer for a moment longer, then gives us a grin.
“Congratulations, Meru,” he says. “Nobody’s going home from your tribe tonight.
” He pauses as we clap at the reminder. “However, you still have to choose two people to go to the ship for your reward. Take a moment to confer amongst yourselves.”
The eight of us huddle together. I’m expecting Beck to nominate himself, and assuming he gets his way, that leaves one spot.
I wouldn’t mind going with him, if only to get away from our camp for an hour or two, but I’m not so enthused that I’ll argue if someone else really wants to go.
In fact, it might be best if Joe or Jing goes with him—I don’t want to give him the chance to convince one of my alliance to flip on us.
But to my surprise, Jing speaks up before Beck.
“I think Cole should go,” she says, nodding in Cole’s direction.
“Alex said there will be large items, and he can probably carry the most weight. That gives us the biggest range of options, and we won’t have to worry about leaving something really useful behind because it’s too heavy. ”
“Sounds like a smart move to me,” Rhonda agrees. “Cole, is that all right with you?”
“That’s fine,” he says. He turns to me, his ocean-blue eyes glinting in the noonday sun. “You should come with me, Ry.”
I certainly wasn’t expecting that. “Me?” I ask, swallowing. “Are you sure?”
He nods and gives me an encouraging smile. “Of course I am! You’re pretty smart, right? I could use someone to tell me what would be most helpful around camp.”
I’m not sure how I feel about this. If the rest of the tribe doesn’t like what we bring back for whatever reason, I might get blamed for it.
But before I get a chance to respond, Beck cuts in. “All right, so Cole and Ryan will go,” he says. “Choose wisely, guys. We’re all counting on you.”
A half-hour or so later, Cole and I are sitting in a motorboat, speeding away from the challenge area over the open ocean. Unlike before, it’s just us and the captain, but the no-talking-off-camera rule is still in effect. Maybe that’s a good thing, because I really have no idea what I would say.
I glance over at Cole, wondering what he’s thinking.
He certainly doesn’t look pensive. His eyes are wide as he watches the waves pass by, his hair whipping back and forth in the wind, and a tiny smile rests on his face like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Spray from the ocean coats his shirtless, well-defined chest, making him gleam like a Greek god.
I turn away so he doesn’t catch me staring, but it takes more willpower than I care to admit not to peek.
Not for the first time, I silently curse the producers for putting Cole and me on the same tribe.
How am I supposed to think when he’s around?
Thankfully, our destination chooses that moment to come into view, and it doesn’t take long before the motorboat draws up to the larger ship. Cole and I climb a rope ladder, stepping carefully as we pull ourselves up the rungs.
Waiting for us at the top of the rope ladder are two cameramen and Neema, who attaches small microphones to our clothing.
“Remember, you can each take two small items or one large item,” she says, fiddling with my shirt to ensure the mic is hidden from the camera.
“You don’t both have to do the same thing—one of you can take a large reward, and the other can take two small ones.
Large items are to your right and small items are to your left.
” She finishes with my mic and moves over to Cole, who has unfortunately put his own shirt on in the interim.
“You can, of course, confer with each other. Just pretend like I’m not here, and ignore the cameras.
Once you’ve made your selections, however, you will have to show them to me so I can make sure you aren’t taking more items than allowed.
Got it?” She waits for us to nod. “Awesome. In that case, go ahead. Take as much time as you need.”
With that, Cole and I start walking towards the supplies. Some of the slats on the deck above have been removed over the last five days to let in some light, so it’s easy enough to see what we’re working with.
Cole glances at me, his eyebrows raised and his nose wrinkled. “You take the left, I’ll take the right?” he asks.
I nod, not quite trusting myself to say anything, and we go off in our appointed directions.
As Neema promised, the whole right side of the hold is lined with wooden barrels and crates, each topped by one or two potential choices.
Immediately, I see things that could be useful: a handsaw that we could use to cut down bamboo for the shelter or chop firewood, a pack of matches wrapped in oilcloth, a burlap sack full of fresh fruit, a set of herbs and spices in glass vials, and a thick waterproof blanket.
The matches are tempting—they would make starting our fire so much easier, as long as it’s not raining—but I only count twenty of them, and I imagine we’d blow through them fairly quickly, so I continue on down the line.
“Anything good over there?” Cole calls over as I’m examining a toolbox, complete with needles and thread, as well as a small pair of scissors, a hammer, and a few other tools that could be useful around camp. “I’ve got some good options.”
“I do too,” I reply, pausing my examination long enough to glance up at him. “Matches, a blanket, some seasonings—”
Cole perks up at the last. “Seasonings?” he repeats, tilting his head slightly. “You mean, like, salt and pepper?”
I stifle a laugh with some difficulty. “Uh, yeah,” I reply, walking back to where I saw the set and reading the labels on the bottles. I can’t believe I forgot he’s a chef. “Looks like there’s salt, pepper, thyme, rosemary, paprika, a couple other things.”
He comes over to see for himself, handling the glass with extreme care.
“Oh yeah, we are definitely taking these. No more bland rice for us, you can count on that.” He looks up and gives me an abashed grin.
“You know, this is going to sound incredibly nerdy, but when I graduated from culinary school, my mom got me this super fancy hand-carved spice rack with real glass bottles, just like these ones. I can’t wait for her to see this when it airs. I know she’ll get a kick out of it.”
I smile back at him, even though there’s a twinge of pain somewhere in the back of my head. “I’m sure she will.”
He grins at me for a moment longer before the moment breaks and we get back to looking through the items. “What about you?” Cole asks as I move on to the next one, a jar of pickled lemons. “Are you going to watch the show with your parents?”
This time the pain is much more than a tinge, and my eyes burn as they tear up. “Actually, no,” I reply, trying to keep my voice even. “My parents died in a car accident when I was sixteen.”
I look up just in time to see Cole’s face fall, a stricken expression crossing his face. “I’m so sorry, Ry,” he says. “I had no idea.”
I wave a hand and force a smile. “Of course you didn’t,” I reply. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll watch it with my sister.”
He opens his mouth, but closes it again without saying anything, which is probably for the best. Even though it’s been more than a decade since my parents died, I still find it hard to talk about them.
I know I’m hardly the only person who’s lost loved ones before their time, but sometimes I feel like nobody understands how hard it is to have your whole life shattered in a single moment like so many pieces of glass, and then to have to rebuild it without getting sliced to ribbons by the shards.
I could never have done it without Arielle, and I’m sure she’d say the same about me.
She’s the only person I can truly rely on, my rock in the raging sea that is life.
And if there’s a small part of me that insists that it doesn’t have to be this way, that I can afford to let other people in … well, I can worry about that when the game is over, because right now the only thing that matters is winning, no matter how hard it gets.
Cole and I continue cataloguing our respective halves of the hold in silence, which is probably for the best. I don’t pay as much attention as I should to the remaining items, distracted as I am by thoughts of my parents and Arielle.
Eventually, though, I reach the end of the line, and with a not-insignificant amount of effort, I mentally wrench myself out of my funk and back into game mode. I need to stay focused if I want to have any chance of winning at all.
Putting on my best face, I join Cole in the middle of the hold, where we discuss which items we should take.
Cole is set on taking the spices, and I think the toolbox will be useful, so we agree to take those as my small items without much debate.
For Cole’s pick, we eventually settle on a large bag of dried black beans.
It’s not the most exciting choice, but it’ll help keep us fed for a few days, and hopefully that will give us an advantage in the next few challenges. Plus, it’ll be a change from rice.
After we make our selections, we take them over to Neema, who gives us her approval after a cursory inspection, before loading us back onto the motorboat with our plundered riches.
The captain drops us off on the beach about half a mile up from our tribe camp; Steve waits there with a couple more camera crew, and as we get off the motorboat, careful not to get the bag of beans wet, he tells us that production wants to film us walking back to the tribe.
“It’ll look more authentic,” he says, shrugging.
I don’t really want to waste the calories, and I doubt anyone watching will be fooled, but I also don’t think arguing the point would change his mind. So, Cole and I get started down the beach, one of the cameramen in front of us and the other to one side as we carry our rewards back home.
After we’ve been walking for a couple of minutes, Cole turns to me. “By the way, I never did get a chance to say thanks,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “So … thank you, Ry.”
“No problem,” I reply, frowning slightly. “But, what exactly are you thanking me for?”
“For not voting me out the other night. I know that you were thinking about siding with Beck and them up until the last minute, and I’m glad you decided not to.”
Whatever I thought he was going to say, it wasn’t that. “You’re … welcome, I guess? I didn’t realize it was so obvious that I was torn.”
He winks at me. “Come on, Ry. You didn’t think I didn’t notice you were avoiding me for the first three days?
At first, I thought you just didn’t like me, but then I realized you were leaning towards voting with them and didn’t want Beck to get suspicious.
I thought about talking to you myself, but Rhonda swore you’d see the light before we voted, and she was right.
” He laughs. “Granted, I only listened to her because I thought she was the one on the chopping block. If I knew they were targeting me, I would have tried a little bit harder to get you on our side. But then, it all worked out in the end, so I’m not upset. ”
I stare at him silently, not entirely sure how to respond.
Had I been avoiding him? I didn’t think so, but if he felt that way, then clearly I was doing something wrong.
“I’m sorry,” I eventually say. Even if he’s wrong, I need to stay on his good side.
“I certainly didn’t mean to come off as if I was avoiding you. Please don’t take it personally.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He gives me an easy grin; either it’s real, or he’s the best liar I’ve ever met. “I’m just happy we’re on the same side now. I really like you, and I think we’re going to do well together.”
My heart does a little flip, and I take a second to remind myself that now is not the time to be distracted by an attractive man, even one as gorgeous as Cole.
“I’m glad to hear that,” I say, hoping beyond hope that the sudden heat I feel on my face is not a blush.
“And, speaking of which, I really should thank you too.”
“Oh?” He arches an eyebrow at me. “For what?”
“For warming me up in the shelter yesterday.” I shudder just thinking about the rain. “Or, for trying to, at least. You didn’t have to, but you did. I really appreciate that.”
“Of course, Ry. It was nothing, really.” His eyes shine, and he lowers the bag of beans slightly, as though he’s going to put it down, before thinking better of it. “We’re allies now, and I meant it when I said I’ve got you.”