Chapter 18 #2
Unsurprisingly, Tamika reaches the shore while I’m still a good thirty feet out, running up to her wooden log and dropping her bag of letter tiles before she begins digging in the sand.
Cole gets there next, then Katie, each of them digging out from under their own logs to make a gap large enough that they can fit through.
When I finally reach the shore, I begin digging under my own log, trying not to despair at the fact that I’m falling further and further behind.
Salty water streams down my hair, into my eyes, making it hard to see, but I just dig harder.
Less than a minute later, I hear a shout from Tamika and look in her direction just long enough to see her successfully push herself under her log.
I quickly look away, focusing on my own digging. Just a little more.
I dig and dig and dig, and after a couple interminable minutes, I think I’ve made a gap large enough to fit through.
I get on my back and slide my head under the log, then push with my legs so that my shoulders go under, then my stomach.
It’s uncomfortable, and it’s a close fit—I probably would have had to go back and dig more if I hadn’t lost so much weight in the last twenty-seven days—but I make it.
“I can do this,” I mutter, more to myself than anyone else.
Pushing the last of my body under the log, I stand up and grab my bag. Tamika and Katie have already reached their tables, but Cole is still digging, his back covered in sand—he must have tried to fit under, gotten stuck, and tried again. Hope flares in my chest. Maybe I have a chance!
I run up to my table and dump my letter tiles on it.
There are slots in the table to fit the tiles, with gaps every so often that are meant to be spaces between words, with eight words total.
Two tiles are already fitted in for me—a comma between the second and third word, and an apostrophe in the fourth.
I begin moving my tiles around, seeing what letters I have, trying out different combinations as quickly as I can.
The fourth word has two letters following the apostrophe, so it’s probably ‘you’re.
’ I slot in those letters, hoping I’m right. One word down, seven to go.
But before I can even figure out a second word, I hear Tamika shouting for Alex, and my heart drops. I keep working just in case Tamika is wrong, even though I know it’s probably over.
“Tamika thinks she has it,” Alex says, off to my right. “Say it, Tamika.”
I glance over to Tamika, who looks exultant. “You win, and you’re not going home tonight!” she shouts.
Alex nods, dashing any remaining hopes I might have had. “Tamika! Wins immunity and reward!”
As soon as I hear him say it, I put down the tiles I’m holding, then go over to congratulate Tamika on her win, trying to put on a happy face despite the mounting feeling of dread that’s stirring deep in the pit of my stomach.
When we get off the motorboat at our tribe beach a half hour or so later, Neema directs Tamika, along with Marina and Katie—Tamika chose the latter two to share the reward with her—to a clearing, where their meal presumably awaits.
Meanwhile, Rhonda, Cole, and I go to camp, where we build up the fire and make our own lunch of boiled rice and coconut.
The spices we won on day five are long gone, so the rice is bland, but it’s better than nothing.
At first, we eat in silence. I think we all know we’ll have to discuss strategy at some point, but nobody wants to be the first one to throw out a name.
We’ve mostly finished eating by the time someone cracks. “So, what are you boys thinkin’ for tonight?” Rhonda asks, eyeing us as she eats the last of her rice. “I got some thoughts, but I want to hear y’all’s opinions too.”
Cole slumps his shoulders. “It sucks that we have to vote someone out,” he says, his tone defeated. “It has to be either Marina or Katie, right? I’m not voting for either of you, and Tamika is immune. It’s not like we have many options.”
I’m not surprised to hear him throw out those two names. If he did mean to vote for me or Rhonda, he probably wouldn’t say it to our faces. “I’m with Cole,” I say, shrugging. “I love Katie and Marina, but it has to be one of those two.”
Rhonda shakes her head. “Y’all are right. Can’t say I’m happy ‘bout either of them goin’ home, though. They’re both fine young ladies.” She sighs. “Still, better them than us, I s’pose.”
“I’m not going to disagree with that,” Cole says, while I nod my agreement. “Do either of you have a strong feeling between the two of them?”
Rhonda taps her lip with a finger. “If I had to pick,” she says slowly, “I’d probably say Marina.
Katie’s smarter than all of us, except maybe you, Ryan.
But I don’t think that’s gonna help her much over the next few days.
Marina, though … she ain’t pissed anyone on that jury off, least as far as I know.
And besides, she’s got three young kids at home.
If she gets to the end, she’d get a lot of votes, that’s for sure.
Heck, even I might vote for her at the end if she’s up there and I’m not.
” She shakes her head. “No offense to you gentlemen, but I’d rather take my chances with one of y’all. ”
“That sounds good to me,” I say. “What do you think, Cole?”
He lets out a long sigh. “I guess I’m fine with Marina too,” he says, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m not happy about it, but I’ll write her name down. Better her than us.”
“Excellent,” Rhonda replies. She puts down her mug—now that we’re well out of coffee and tea, we’re using them as bowls for our rice—and stands up. “Well, now that we’ve gotten that settled, I think I’m going to go for a swim and try to wash off some of this sand. If y’all will excuse me…”
She walks away, leaving Cole and me by ourselves, the two of us silent.
I can’t speak for Cole, but I, for one, am still thinking about what’s going to happen tonight.
I don’t doubt that the three on the reward are having a similar conversation, debating which of us they’ll target tonight.
Maybe if I had a bigger ego, I could convince myself that they’re throwing my name out there, but it has to be Cole.
He’s already won two individual immunity challenges, and he’s got to be favored to win most of the rest. Besides, he hasn’t made any enemies.
He even got to be on the same tribe as Jenny, Alina, and Ashraf for a few days, so he might be more likely to get their votes in the end.
I glance up at him, my stomach roiling. Maybe I should just get rid of him now, while I still can. We’re getting close to the end of the game, and if I want to win, there are surely better options than sitting next to him at the final two.
And yet, that thought doesn’t ring as true as it might have even a week ago.
Sure, Cole has his strengths—but then, so does everyone else out here, including me.
Maybe I’d lose to him if it came down to the two of us, but maybe I wouldn’t.
I could say the same about each of the other four.
Besides, I still need to get to the final two if I want to have any chance of winning, and I trust him more than anyone out here except maybe Rhonda.
Or at least that’s what I tell myself, and if the little voice buried deep in the back of my head says that the real reason I won’t even consider getting rid of him is that because I know it would hurt him if I stabbed him in the back …
well, I’ve done my best to ignore that voice so far. Why stop now?
The six of us are completely silent except for our footfalls on the wooden planks as we walk into the tribal council set later that night.
The silence isn’t unusual—we’re on camera, but only so production can get some cool shots of us walking in, and we’re not allowed to talk, just like when we’re on the motorboats to and from challenges.
But this time, the silence feels heavy, like a weight has descended upon us.
No matter what happens tonight, someone we all know and love is going home.
Even though the five that remain will be one step closer to the million, it’ll still hurt to vote out one of our own.
To be honest, I’m still not fully convinced that I’m not the one who’ll be joining the jury in a few hours.
Sure, I think everyone is on board, but they could just be humoring me.
I don’t even know if I could blame them if they got rid of me.
I’d be upset—devastated, even—but I know it wouldn’t be easy for them, just like it won’t be easy for me to vote for Marina.
And at least it would be because they think I’m a threat to win.
Once we’ve all sat down on one of the six stools, Alex takes his own seat across from us. “So, Tamika,” he says. “Let’s talk about today’s immunity challenge. Do you think you needed to win immunity tonight in order to stay in the game?”
“I don’t know if I needed it, but it sure doesn’t hurt,” Tamika says with a chuckle. “It’s been said before, but you never know what might happen in this game. Having that certainty, even if it’s just for this one tribal, is definitely a good thing.”
Alex turns to his right. “Rhonda, given that Tamika is immune, tonight you’re going to have to vote for someone that you’ve lived with for nearly a month. Does that make it more difficult for you than voting out, say, Alina or Jenny?”
Rhonda nods. “You could say that. Don’t get me wrong—I told you at the very first tribal council that I expected every vote would be difficult, and that’s God’s honest truth.
” She leans forward. “But tonight will be even harder, because I consider each and every one of these people a friend, and I don’t want to hurt any o’ them.
I’ll still do it, because if it ain’t one of them, it’s me, and I ain’t ready to go home yet. ”
Alex accepts her answer and moves on to Cole, then Marina, then Katie, asking them questions in turn. Their answers are honest, but cagey. I’d expect nothing less at this point in the game, when a single word can turn everything on its head.
Finally, Alex turns to me. “Ryan, let’s say whoever you vote for tonight is the person who goes home. What would you want to say to them before they go, if you got the chance?”
I think for a moment before I respond. “I guess I’d just want to tell them that I’m sorry,” I finally say. “My vote isn’t personal, and I hope we can still be friends when all this is over. I don’t know if they’d want to hear it, but that’s what I’d say.”
“A fair response.” Alex points to Tamika, sitting at the end of the row. “And with that, it is time to vote. Tamika, you’re up.”
Tamika goes off to the voting booth, followed in turn by Cole, Katie, Marina, and Rhonda.
I go last, and when I reach the table with the parchment, I pause to take a breath before writing Marina’s name down.
“Marina, it’s been a pleasure getting to know you,” I say as I hold up the parchment to the camera.
“I just don’t want to sit next to you at the final tribal council, so you have to go. Like I said, nothing personal.”
Then I place the parchment into the urn and return to my seat, suddenly ready to get this over with.
Once everyone’s voted, Alex gets the urn, placing it in its usual spot on the podium. “If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and you want to play it, now would be the time to do so,” he says.
Nobody moves, which is entirely unsurprising to me, considering I’m the only one with an idol. For a brief moment, I consider playing it for myself. But nothing I’ve heard tonight has really made me think it’s me, and I would love to save it for the next tribal, so I keep it in my pocket.
“In that case,” Alex continues, “I’ll read the votes. Once the votes are read, the decision is final, and the person voted out will be asked to leave immediately.”
He takes a parchment out of the urn and opens it before revealing it to us. “First vote: Marina.
“Cole. That’s one vote Marina, one vote Cole.
“Marina.
“Marina.”
He reaches into the urn, pulling out the next parchment slowly. “The thirteenth person voted out, and the fourth member of our jury, is …” He reveals the vote to us. “Marina. That’s four, and that’s enough. Please hand me your insignia.”
Marina stands up, a rueful smile on her lips, walks over to Alex, and hands him her necklace.
Alex takes it from her, then snaps the red token in half, and says, “Marina, your time in this game has come to an end. It’s time for you to go.”
But instead of going, Marina turns back to us briefly. “Good luck, guys,” she says. “I love you all.”
Only then does she walk down the ramp behind Alex, leaving the five of us behind.