Chapter 10 Cause Enough For Concern
CAUSE ENOUGH FOR CONCERN
“Thanks for everything,” Bethany said. “Sorry it turned out the way it had. But hey, you met a hot guy out of it.”
“Yeah, sure,” Kenzie said, her lips pressing together as she mumbled the words.
Her best friend and Joshua made up and were back to planning their wedding in the next six months.
Being fearful of their parents’ reaction changed their minds.
She didn’t have that luxury. What was done was done.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” Bethany said, then shut the door. She pulled out of the driveway of her friend's apartment and headed toward the farm.
They didn’t know she was stopping and if she gave them a heads up, they’d ask her a million questions.
Maybe she’d get lucky and her father would be in the field and she could break the news to her mother, who could tell her father.
Yep, being a coward again.
By the time she turned down the long, dusty driveway to her parents’ house, her hands were shaking, sweat slicked her palms and spine, and her jaw ached from clenching her teeth to keep them from chattering.
There was her mother in the front yard weeding the flower beds.
“Kenzie,” her mother said. “I wasn’t expecting you to stop on your way home.”
“I thought I’d let you know I got there and back in one piece.”
“I didn’t think otherwise,” her mother said. “But a parent is always going to worry.”
She wanted to say there was nothing to worry about, but that’d be lying.
“Is Dad around?”
“He’s tinkering with the tractor in the barn. I can get him if you want to come in. It’s lunchtime anyway.”
“Sure,” she said. “Then I’ve got to get on the road.”
Her mother’s head turned slightly, then held her stare. “Is everything okay? Normally you want to leave as fast as you can, not come in and stay for a meal.”
She sighed. “I’ll explain it all at once.”
“Everything is okay with school, right? You’ll finish in a month and won’t need to take out any more loans?”
Her parents were fixated on her debt.
Maybe she was too, but it was the only way out.
A means to an end.
The end was near.
She wasn’t letting anything stand in her way.
“Everything is fine. I’ll help with lunch if you want.”
“I was going to put together grilled cheese sandwiches and there is some macaroni salad in the fridge. If you want to get everything out, I’ll go get your father.”
“Thanks. I need to use the bathroom too.”
She had everything on the counter when her father came in and went to the sink to wash his hands.
“How come you stopped to see us on the way back to school? Don’t you have a test or something to study for?”
“I do,” she said. “But I wanted to talk to you both.”
“What did you do?” her father said.
There was only one way to do this. Fast.
It wouldn’t be painless.
Nope. This kind of pain would linger for hours, burn when it should’ve been healing, and keep her wide awake at night begging for it to disappear.
But did she want Nelson to go away?
Just that thought crossing her mind was cause enough for concern.
“I got married.”
“Very funny, Kenzie,” her father said. “How much money did you lose there?”
Her mother stopped assembling the sandwiches and turned to look at her.
Money had always been a huge issue in her household.
They always had just enough to get through.
Her father never wanted her mother to work. It stung his pride that he couldn’t be the provider, but her mother knew that extra income would go a long way.
Now they depended on it.
She’d never say it to her parents, but once she found her footing, she’d help them. She didn’t know how yet, just that she would. No question.
Her father would have to push his ego aside, even if she had to shove it out of the way herself.
It reminded her of what Nelson had told her about his family.
How his mother held it together, and West stepped up to be the provider. That he put it on his shoulders and everyone came in first place before his own needs.
“I didn’t lose any money,” she said. “We went there for Bethany and Joshua to elope.”
“Oh dear,” her mother said. “Patty is going to be devastated over that.”
“There is no reason for Patty to be devastated. They didn’t go through with it.”
Because Bethany didn’t want to upset her mother. Patty was a member of the church her mother worked at. She knew her parents would keep her secret, when she could finally get it out of her mouth.
“Then why did you joke about you getting married?” her mother asked.
She sighed. She had a copy of the certificate. Nelson had the original, but she got a copy made before she left. “Because I did get married.” She pulled the folded sheet out of her purse and put it on the table. “I didn’t know it happened.”
Her father grabbed it and yanked it closer, her mother moving in also. “McKenzie Marie,” her mother said, “please tell me this isn’t real.”
“Afraid I can’t do that.”
She refused to put her head down in shame. She was a full-grown adult and could take responsibility for her actions.
She bragged enough that it was her life and her choice and she couldn’t back down now.
“Who is this guy? How did it happen without your knowledge? Were you drugged?” her mother asked, her hands going to her face.
She kept out the part that Nelson was drugged. Even the part about who Nelson really was. Her parents weren’t the type to look into anything.
“No, I wasn’t. Bethany and Joshua were nervous. We had three shots.”
“Drinking is evil,” her father said.
Everything was evil to her father. Sex without marriage right up there on the list.
She wasn’t a virgin and never told them that. Whether or not they assumed it wasn’t her concern.
“Sue me. Father Steven loves his wine. He’s drinking it more than at Mass. Is he evil?”
“Kenzie, that is uncalled for. Some people are weaker than others.”
Her hands went up while her head shook almost as if she had tremors.
As much as she didn’t have the same level of religion or values as her parents, some of them were ingrained in her.
She was trying harder than normal to be respectful of them.
She just wished they did the same to her.
“Well, there you are. I was weak. Nelson was there, he’d had some to drink.” It wasn’t a lie, just the timing of it wasn’t being shared. “Bethany and Joshua fought and took off, leaving me there alone. Next thing I know, I woke up to Nelson in my room yesterday morning.”
“Oh Lord,” her mother said, her fingers going to her forehead, her belly, her left shoulder and then her right.
As if doing the sign of the cross was going to make it all go away.
If only it were so easy.
“So an annulment is out of the question,” her father said firmly. “We don’t believe in divorce in this family.”
“Sorry about what you do or don’t believe in. As for the annulment, I can’t really tell you because neither of us has any memory of it. But he’s a really nice guy. We are working it out. We’ll get it taken care of. He even offered to come here with me to talk to you today.”
“You don’t know if he’s a nice guy or not,” her mother said. “You know nothing about him or his family. Not a thing.”
“I do,” she said. “He’s easy enough to find and I met two of his brothers. One is an attorney who is going to help get this sorted.”
“Well, that is something at least,” her mother said.
“There will be no divorce,” her father said sternly.
“Dad. This isn’t up for debate. This is my life and I’ll take care of it the best way I see fit.”
Her father shoved his chair back, the legs scraping against the scarred old hardwood, then stormed out the back door without a word.
“Give him time,” her mother said.
“I’m not here to give anyone time, Mom. I’m sorry you’re disappointed in me. I’m disappointed in myself.”
Not only over what happened but her reaction to her new husband when she was sober.
The way he made her feel with his strong arms wrapped around her. His words offered steady comfort, and his lips tempted her to never leave his room, let alone the state.
All of it was both terrifying and impossible to resist.
“You’ll have to live with your choices. Tell me about this man and what the next step will be. Does he live in Las Vegas?”
“As you can see on the paper, his name is Nelson Carlisle. He was there on business. He’s a consultant. He’s twenty-seven and has a great job. He is based out of Manhattan and lives in New Jersey.”
“Oh dear, that isn’t going to work.”
“What isn’t going to work?” she asked.
“It sounds as if he wasn’t going to move here, so then you’d have to move there, right?”
Oh wow. Her mother was thinking the same as her father. As if divorce wasn’t an option.
There would be no getting through to either of them.
“Mom. Right now, I want to eat lunch, then drive the hour back to my apartment and study for my test tomorrow. Nelson and I will be in contact with each other so that we can figure out the next step. What that is will be between us, not what you and Dad want.”
“So there is a chance you won’t divorce?”
The hopefulness in her mother’s voice wasn’t lost on her.
“I have no answers.” Which was the truth and the best she could do for now.
“How did it go?” Nelson asked her three hours later.
She’d kept her word and texted when she arrived at her parents’ house.
But once she left, she drove to her apartment steeped in remorse, regret, and frustration. A nasty cocktail no amount of aspirin could cure.
“Oh... Not good.”
“What happened?”
She shut the door to her room, kicked off her shoes and climbed on the bed, her feet up on the blanket, her back on the pillows, her eyes closed.
“My parents are upset. Disappointed. No amount of explanations got through to them. My father stormed out and my mother is still hoping that I won’t be the first to divorce in my family.”
“I get it,” he said. “There aren’t any divorces in mine either, but the world is different from when they were our age.”
“It is. Everything is evil to them. Drinking, sex before marriage.”
“We don’t know about that.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “I had to admit it could have happened. It’s not like I’m a virgin, but that’s never been a conversation I’ve had with them either.”
He laughed on the other end, and somehow, the sound of his voice, one she’d only heard for the first time just thirty-six hours ago, already felt like home.
This man was going to be dangerous.
“Did you tell them who I was and how this all came about?”
“I gave your name, said I met two of your brothers and one was an attorney taking care of this. I didn’t give their names and I won’t.
I left out the part about you being drugged.
They already think I’m going to hell because I said I was drunk.
If they thought you had drugs in your system, they’d start calling for another baptism to cleanse my soul. ”
“Yikes.”
“Welcome to my world.”
“Do you feel the same way as them?”
She heard the hesitation in his voice. “About what? Religion? No. I told you that.”
“About divorce?”
“What about it? In their mind I’ve sinned enough this weekend, what is one more thing?”
There was some more silence on the other end. “Good point. You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I’m good. How about you? Are you going to be okay in the hotel?”
She wasn’t sure she could stay there if she were him, but it seemed to her he was used to living like that.
“I’m not there. I’m in an Airbnb. A nice one with a pool and hot tub.”
“Lucky you,” she said.
“Is that sarcasm that I hear? West set it up. You know, taking care of it like stepping in as my father again.”
She snorted. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Just make sure you’re in that hot tub alone. Remember, you’re married.”
What the heck was wrong with her saying that?
He’d think she was jealous or something.
How could she possibly feel that way when she barely knew the man?
Yet she knew enough about him.
Felt more comfortable around him than she had any other man she’d dated in the past few years.
“I am. Maybe my wife wouldn’t mind being in the hot tub with me. You know, trying a few kisses there.”
She laughed with him. “I’ve got exams this week I can’t miss. Sorry.”
“If you didn’t have exams?”
“Then I might just be tempted to sin some more.”