Chapter 20
KENDRA
Kendra sat on the bed as tears streamed down her face. Her heart ached so badly she was worried there was actually something wrong with it, but she was just sad. And angry. And confused.
When Lucas had pulled her into a hug before leaving, she’d felt his tenderness and affection in the way he’d held her close.
She’d buried her face in his chest, inhaling his shaving-cream scent and feeling how well she fit into his arms. There was a spot, just below his chin, where her head fit perfectly, as though they’d been made to hold each other like that.
In that moment, Kendra had realized that Lucas was ignoring his true feelings. He did care about her. He did want to stay, even if he couldn’t admit that to himself. And she thought he’d realized that, too. She’d thought he was going to reconsider.
But he hadn’t. He’d just turned and left as though they were nothing more than strangers.
Kendra forced herself to take a slow, deep breath. She hadn’t cried this hard in months, not even when her wedding had fallen apart. But Lucas had stirred something unexpected in her.
That’s a good thing, Kendra told himself. Maybe, someday, you’ll find those feelings with someone who loves you back. But that thought made her heart break all over again. She didn’t want to feel warm and fluttery with anyone else. She wanted Lucas.
After a while, she got to her feet and went back into the sitting room.
The tray of breakfast she’d brought up waited on the table by the loveseat, so she picked up the cold coffee and took a sip.
She quickly realized she’d grabbed the mug she’d made for Lucas, though, because the coffee was bitter instead of sweet. She set it back down.
Kendra needed to leave. Not only because everything in this room reminded her of Lucas, but because there was no way the resort would let her stay as a single person.
Even if they would, she didn’t want to be here.
Not alone. Not without Lucas making his jokes and teasing her and kissing her until her knees went weak.
So, Kendra went back into the bedroom. She packed her clothes and toiletries. Finally, she undid the knot that had held her gift-shop seashell bracelet on her wrist. She considered throwing it away, but at the last second, it ended up in her suitcase. She wasn’t quite ready to let go.
Next, she went to the closet and pulled her wedding dress out.
It was neatly folded, which made her frown.
She remembered shoving it inside carelessly, not folding it like this.
It didn’t matter. Spreading the dress on the bed, she considered it with her hands on her hips.
She hadn’t felt ready to throw the dress away in the airport, but now…
she was done with it. The woman who’d worn the dress wasn’t her.
It never had been. Even though Lucas had hurt her, he’d also helped her realize that.
When Kendra had looked in the mirror at the wedding, she’d seen a stranger. She never wanted to feel that way again. So, she arranged the dress on the bed and left it there. Maybe whoever came to clean her room would want it.
Picking up her suitcase, Kendra went to the door.
At the last moment, though, she hesitated, her gaze sweeping back over the suite.
There was the bed that she and Lucas had shared, at first on opposite sides of a wall of pillows, and later in each other’s arms. There was the balcony where they’d watched the stars, where Kendra had taken her first pictures in months.
There was the loveseat where Lucas had always sat to look at his messages.
There was the bathroom where she’d emerged in a towel, blushing as Lucas looked her up and down.
There was the spot where Lucas had hugged her one last time before leaving.
Tears burned in Kendra’s eyes, but she refused to let them fall.
She’d hoped that this honeymoon would serve as a distraction from real life.
It definitely had. She’d almost completely forgotten about Aaron and the failed wedding; she’d never even shed a tear for either.
She couldn’t let herself cry about Lucas any longer.
Downstairs at the reception desk, Kendra asked for a cab. As the receptionist was booking her one, she heard a familiar voice behind her.
“Mrs. Moran?”
Kendra turned to see Susie hurrying toward her. “Hi, Susie.”
“I heard that your husband left this morning.” Susie bit her lip. Her regular enthusiasm was gone, and she looked somehow deflated without it.
“He had some urgent work to attend to,” Kendra explained. It was the truth, but it still burned her throat as though it were a lie.
“I see.” Susie bit her lip. “Have a safe journey home, Kendra.”
For some reason, Susie’s use of her first name almost pushed Kendra into tears again, but she took a deep breath and controlled the urge.
“Thank you, Susie. You’ve made this trip so wonderful.”
“I’m glad.” Susie smiled, though it still looked a little hollow. “Come another time.”
Kendra nodded, but that wasn’t going to happen. There was no way she would come back to the resort where she’d fallen for Lucas, only to have him leave her behind. Anyway, Sol Y Estrellas wouldn’t even let her in, since she was very single now.
The ride to the airport was short, but it felt long to Kendra.
She leaned her head against the window, watching Cabo pass outside.
At the airport, she managed to get a standby ticket on a flight back to LA.
She expected to be stuck in a middle seat, if she got on at all, but the reality was much worse.
When she boarded, she found herself in an aisle seat beside a newlywed couple.
The couple spent the entire flight giggling and teasing each other.
At one point, they kissed so passionately that Kendra was tempted to pour cold water over them.
Usually, Kendra loved to be around people in love.
She made a living from taking pictures of people at their weddings, after all.
But today, she wanted to sit anywhere else.
Seeing how happy they were made her fiddle with the in-flight magazine and turn up the volume on her headphones to drown out their happy giggles.
The worst was yet to come. When they landed in LA, Kendra left the airport and went straight outside to get a cab.
Instead of giving the address of her own apartment, she gave her parents’ address.
She’d been dodging their calls and messages since the failed wedding, and it was time to face the music.
They were going to be furious. Her stomach twisted and she wrung her hands as she imagined how they were going to tell her off.
“Morans don’t run off like that,” they would say. “You humiliated us. Why didn’t you stay to fix things?”
Maybe she should have just gone home. But Kendra was hurt and sad, and her parents had always been there for her when she was hurt and sad. She needed to see them. She needed to apologize for fleeing the wedding — and for dodging their calls.
When the cab pulled up in front of their spacious Malibu house, Kendra paid the driver and got out.
She took a moment to smooth her hair, which was probably messy, and brush imaginary dirt from her clothes.
Then she strode across the garden, which was made up of native cactuses and grasses, and knocked on the door.
As she waited for an answer, Kendra tilted her head back to look at the house.
It had enormous windows that looked out over the ocean and was both sleek and modern.
When she was a kid, she thought it looked like a spaceship.
The door opened. Kendra braced herself. The hand that wasn’t holding her suitcase instinctively began fiddling with the edge of her shirt.
“Kendra?”
Kendra’s mother, Ruth, stood on the other side of the door. She wore linen shorts and a striped top, and she had an apron on. It was Sunday, her baking day.
“Hi, Mom.” Kendra took a deep breath, ready for her mother’s disappointment. Instead of saying anything, though, Ruth pulled her into a tight hug. Kendra melted into her mother’s arms, smelling the faint vanilla scent that always brought her back to childhood.
After a moment, Ruth released her and stepped back, her hands on Kendra’s upper arms, her eyebrows furrowed with concern. “Are you okay, honey?”
“Yeah.” Kendra nodded, but she was teary all over again.
“Come in, come in. Would you like a slice of cake? I just finished one with raspberries and pistachios.”
“Okay…” This wasn’t the response to her homecoming that Kendra had expected. It was like any other Sunday when she stopped by her parents’ house.
“Thomas!” Ruth called as they crossed the foyer to the kitchen. “Kendra’s home!”
There was the sound of footsteps, and Kendra’s father appeared. He beamed at his daughter, closed the distance between them, and hugged her tightly.
“How are you?” he asked when he released her.
“I’m okay,” Kendra said.
“Come on. Let’s get a slice of your mother’s cake.”
They went into the kitchen, where they sat in the breakfast nook while Ruth cut thick slices of cake for each of them.
Kendra watched her bustle around the kitchen, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Sooner or later, her parents would tell her how disappointed they were.
Finally, when her mother sat down and slid her a plate of cake, Kendra couldn’t keep it in any longer.
“Aren’t you mad at me?”
Ruth’s face crumpled as she shook her head. “Not at all, honey. We’re worried that you’re mad at us.”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“We pushed you to marry… that boy.” Thomas said “that boy” as though it were a horrible swear word. “And then he left you. We feel terrible.”
“His parents have been very apologetic,” Ruth added. “And we’ve tried to talk to you about it, but we haven’t been able to reach you.”
“I’m sorry.” Kendra fiddled with her paper napkin. “I should have talked to you. I… I felt like I let you down by running off like that.”
“Not at all.” Thomas shook his head. “We’re the ones who let you down.”
“And we’re sorry, honey.” Ruth nudged Kendra’s plate closer. “Have some cake.”
“All right.” Kendra couldn’t help smiling as she lifted her fork.
“Now, listen, we’re ready to make this right,” Thomas said. “If you still want to marry Aaron, we can get the wedding back on track.”
“He doesn’t want to marry me,” Kendra pointed out.
“He was scared and overwhelmed,” Ruth said. “He’s apologized since. Apparently, it all got too real, but he does want to settle down and get married, if you’ll forgive him.”
Kendra hesitated. A few weeks ago, she would have said yes without thinking about it, but now, it wasn’t so easy. She’d never felt the spark with Aaron that she’d felt with Lucas. And the thought of being married to someone who didn’t make her heart flutter wasn’t appealing.
“I…” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to even think about getting married right now.”
“Are you too heartbroken?” Ruth asked, biting her lip.
“Yes,” Kendra admitted. “It’s hard to stop thinking about Luc—him.”
Her parents exchanged a glance. “Did you just say—”
“It was a slip of the tongue.” Kendra shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m tired and hurt, and I need time to think about what I want. Is that okay?”
“Of course, it is,” Ruth said. “The only thing we want is for you to be happy. We were happy in our arranged marriage, so we thought we could make you happy in the same way. But you were never quite like me.” She smiled.
“You have your own mind and your own heart. You need a different kind of love story.”
Kendra wasn’t ready for any love story, not when her heart was still shattered. Still, she smiled at her mother’s words.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Did you have a nice honeymoon?” Thomas asked. Ruth glared at him across the table, but he shrugged as he took a bite of his own cake. “She did go on the honeymoon, dear.”
“It was…” Kendra thought back on the last week and a half. “Unexpected. But I’m glad I went.”
Even though things had ended badly with Lucas, she really was glad she’d gone. He’d opened her eyes to how it truly felt to fall for someone. And Kendra had really had a wonderful time. At least until this morning — though her heart still ached at how quickly he’d left.
“Well, you can tell us all about it later.” Ruth smiled. “For now, eat your cake.”
So, Kendra did. It was not broken-heart ice cream, but it was sweet and delicious, and it did take her mind off everything.