Chapter 15
The stadium filled up faster than I expected, but, then again, the only time I’d ever set foot in Mile High Arena was last spring for the high school championship game for the Mayhem. Even that was a lot of people, but this?
This was crazy.
I held Leena a little closer to my chest as we walked through the lobby, weaving our way through the many concession stands until I walked away with a Diet Coke and a hot pretzel.
We snapped a quick selfie and sent it off to the Moms of Mayhem group chat, instantly receiving a slew of reactions, including an entire line of pretzel emojis from Emmy.
Emmy
I’ve never been so proud in my life.
Daisy
Okay, but that outfit.
Stevie
SLAY QUEEN!
Did I do that right?
Tate
Yes, unfortunately. Have fun, Shan.
I slid my phone back into my pocket, kissing Leena’s forehead while she gripped the pretzel like her life depended on it.
Luckily, our seats were easy to find, about ten rows back and to the right of the Yeti’s bench—perfectly positioned so Mikko could see us every time he changed shifts.
He’d reserved us two seats, but I was pretty sure Leena would sit on my lap most of the game.
Whether that was for her comfort or mine… To be determined.
We sat on the aisle, leaving a seat between us and the guy who sat on the other side of us wearing a grey Yeti crewneck and a navy-blue baseball hat. He smiled when we sat down, studying us.
A weird prickle went up my spine, thinking over how nervous Mikko was about Leena’s safety.
And yet, her jersey had his number plastered on her back with his name.
I leaned down and pulled a fleece jacket out of my bag and slid it on over her jersey—dual purpose at keeping her warm in the cold arena and hiding the identifying features that advertised who she was.
“Smart,” the guy next to us said. “Fans are weird sometimes.”
The strange feeling came rushing back, and I turned to glare at him, ready to unleash. But he grinned, hands held in the air.
“Sorry. That sounded creepy,” he said. “If you’re down here, then you’re not exactly the WAG type. Welcome to the Outcast Club. I’m Nolan.”
I looked at his outstretched hand, still not sure if he was friend or foe. When I didn’t shake it, he chuckled, then dropped it and looked away.
“You know, when I heard the news about Mikko, I didn’t believe it. But this? This makes so much sense now.”
Leena stood up on my lap, bouncing and clapping her hands to the music. I held her hips and let her have fun, still not taking my eyes off the guy I couldn’t seem to get a read on.
“You know Mikko?”
Nolan let out a low laugh, then looked back at me. “Yes. I’m a flight attendant on the team plane, but I’m also dating Carter Sullivan.”
He pointed up at the roster displayed on the screen, where Carter Sullivan was listed on the starting lineup.
Left wing.
Alternate captain.
“How long have you been together?” I asked, trying my best at friendly conversation even though I didn’t feel friendly yet.
“Three years.”
I nodded, telling my instincts to cool it before I made yet another terrible impression in Mikko’s world.
It was bad enough that every time we FaceTimed his parents, his dad glared through the phone at me.
I glared right back, not afraid to go toe-to-toe with the man for no reason other than he wasn’t nice to Mikko.
But I also fully recognized that ruining every relationship in Mikko’s life wasn’t exactly helpful.
Thankfully, Nolan let the conversation drop, adjusting his hat and focusing back on the ice. When the lights dimmed, he pointed to the space between the two team benches. “They’ll come out right there in a minute. Your husband is usually second to last.”
As often as Mikko called me his wife, I’d never heard him referred to as my husband before. Like I had as much claim on him as he had on me.
Before I had time to analyze how that made me feel, the entire arena got to their feet, music blaring. Leena clapped along in my arms. I bounced her around until she giggled, smiling at the little girl who made it hard to be anything but happy.
The players all looked alike in their jerseys and helmets, but I spotted Mikko immediately. On skates, he looked even bigger than usual. A chill washed over me, pride simmering under my skin as he lifted a hand to the stands when they announced his name.
They didn’t just cheer. They screamed for him.
“Thank god he’s back,” someone said from behind me.
“Wonder what happened?”
“I heard he went crazy in the locker room.”
“Nah, I heard he cheated with Parrish’s girlfriend. That’s why they’ve played like shit the last few games.”
“I heard that too, but Parrish is a playboy. No way he has a girlfriend.”
My shoulders inched up the more they talked, ready to turn around and unleash on the people who felt they had any right to gossip about people they didn’t know, but Nolan moved over so he stood next to me.
“Ignore it,” he said in a low voice. “You can’t react. Just like I can’t when someone says something about Carter being openly gay in the NHL.”
My jaw clenched, but I said nothing. We all took our seats after the national anthem, and the game began. Except this time, Nolan sat in the seat next to me.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice still low. “If we look like we’re together, they’ll notice us even less.”
I tried to focus on the game in front of me, but every single hair on my body stood on end every time someone said Mikko’s name.
A few minutes later, the crowd erupted around us.
“Come on!” Nolan groaned. “That’s interference.”
I looked from him to the ice, but none of this made any sense to me.
Nolan must have clocked the confused look on my face. “How much do you know about hockey?”
I hesitated long enough to answer the question for him.
“See Carter?” He pointed toward the far end of the ice. “He’s a left winger. His job is to get the puck in the net by any means possible.”
“And Mikko?”
Nolan smiled. “Officially? Prevent goals. Unofficially? He likes to score them, too.”
Almost on cue, Mikko stole the puck from the other team and carried it toward the goal instead of passing it away.
Nolan chuckled. “See? He can never mind his own business.”
That made me chuckle. “Okay, that tracks.”
When the shift changed, Mikko came off the ice, his gaze finding us instantly. I grinned at him, then waved Leena’s hand in his direction.
“Wave hi to Dada.”
Leena flapped her arms up and down. “Da!”
As if he heard her, Mikko grinned, then met my eyes. A riot of butterflies let loose in my belly under his attention, a mixture of pride and emotions I wasn’t about to look deeper at.
He sat down on the bench with his back to us, focused on the game, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
It was working.
Nolan kept explaining the game to me in the simplest terms, and by the end of the first period, I felt like I had a better grip on the game. Or, at least, I wasn’t as lost.
Leena started swapping snacks with him, giving him a piece of her pretzel while he offered her popcorn. “How is it that you married a hockey player and know so little about the game?”
I shrugged. “My brothers played growing up. With Beckett Conway, actually. But growing up in a town that practically worships hockey, I did my best to hate on it any chance I got.”
“A rebel. I like it. But Conway’s a great guy. I always liked him.”
“He’s not my least favorite person.”
“That feels like high praise from you.”
I tapped my finger against the side of my temple, and Nolan laughed.
“Are you going to tell me your name yet? Or should I call you Mikko’s wife forever?”
“Shannon.” I wiped my hand on my ripped jeans, then held it out for the shake I’d denied him earlier. “And this is Leena.”
Nolan shook my hand, then waved at her. “I’ve been dying to meet you, pretty girl.”
Leena hid her face in my chest, peeking over at Nolan with a shy smile.
“She takes a while to warm up to people. Don’t take it personally.”
“Like her mama,” Nolan said, still smiling at her.
Mama.
Nolan said it so naturally, like there wasn’t any question about it.
Like I belonged to the little girl tucked against my side.
I hadn’t even considered that was what everyone would assume, and of course they would.
If Mikko was so private that he could convince his parents I was his wife after never mentioning me before, then no way did anyone know the real story of Leena’s mom.
So if they knew I was Mikko’s wife, why wouldn’t Leena be my daughter, too?
Maybe I should’ve corrected him, but I didn’t.
This marriage was supposed to be temporary. A business arrangement. A way to give Leena the stability she deserved while helping me escape a life I’d spent years trying to leave behind.
It wasn’t supposed to feel this normal.
But when Leena curled into my side, when Mikko searched the stands for us, when my heart soared every time he made it through a shift without looking for us…
It didn’t just feel normal.
It felt good.
Nolan walked with me down to the family waiting room after the game, Leena’s head resting on my shoulder. I handed her the pacifier I’d stuck in my bag for this exact reason, and her body sagged with exhaustion.
“Almost there, sweet girl.” I kissed her temple, and her hands tightened on my shirt.
“I’m shocked at how well she did,” Nolan said when he held the door open for us. “I think you’ve got a little die-hard fan on your hands.”
I smiled at him, glad to have found someone I didn’t hate here.
Any relief I’d felt only seconds before evaporated the moment I walked into the room. Blue couches lined the space, and more blonde women than I’d ever seen in my life stood along the walls in groups.
None of them wore jerseys, but they were all dressed to the nines, dripping in diamonds and custom gear that brandished their husband’s and boyfriend’s name across their bodies.
“Don’t let them scare you,” Nolan whispered, his hand between my shoulders. “Most of them don’t bite.”
The shortest of the women turned toward us and waved. “Hey Nolan. You brought a friend?”