57 Rei
I blinked my eyes open and instantly regretted it thanks to the blinding white light overhead. My head pounded and my stomach churned like I had the world’s worst hangover, but I didn’t remember drinking last night.
What had I done last night? I wondered, hand moving to my nightstand to turn off my alarm. The beeping was getting really fucking annoying and making my headache worse.
“Rei?” Quentin said urgently. “Are you awake?”
I jerked up, willing my eyes to get into focus.
“Quentin? What are you doing here?” My vision cleared, and he was sitting next to me in suit pants and a rumpled white dress shirt, the collar unbuttoned.
He looked like shit, with tired bags under his eyes and a worried crease in his brow, but I was so happy to see him. “Did you come to talk to me?”
I reached for him, but my arm wouldn’t go that far.
I stared down at it, wondering what was happening, and saw clear tubes taped to my arm.
“What?” I looked around, seeing we weren’t in my room at all, but a hospital room.
The beeping was a monitor. And those tubes?
They were an IV. “What the fuck?” I said, then held my hand to my head as a slice of pain wreaked havoc on me.
There were tubes around my face too. I tried to tug at them. “What’s going on here?”
“Calm down,” Quentin said, gently pushing me back into the bed. His hand felt warm and comforting yet firm on my shoulder, easing my panic just a bit. “I’ll explain everything, just lie down.”
I wanted to be grumpy and defiant with him, but I just didn’t have the energy. My stomach churned again, and I took sharp breaths to keep my mouth from watering. “I feel sick.”
“Here.” He pressed a small pill into my hand. “Zofran. They said you might be nauseous when you woke up.”
“They?” I tried again to remember last night, but the more I tried, the faster it fluttered away. “What happened to me?”
“Take the medicine,” he urged, lifting my hand closer to my mouth.
I took it from him and let it dissolve on my tongue, breathing through another wave of nausea.
“The doctors said you have carbon monoxide poisoning. Your heater wasn’t venting properly. That’s why you’re on oxygen.”
My eyebrows drew together, but that made my headache worse. “I have… detectors,” I managed. My brother had insisted we all have them installed after a family died overnight in their home and he had to treat them in the ER.
“Your CO detectors were disarmed,” Quentin said, a subtle shake in his voice.
“Was it Conrad?” I asked. “He d-did this to me?” It was a worse betrayal than I ever could have imagined, even after everything. It hit me then—I could have died.
“We don’t know. The police are investigating. But right now, I want you to get better.” He pressed a cup of water into my hand. “Here, drink this.” He then pressed a button, raising the headboard of my bed.
At his insistence, I realized my mouth felt all dry and sticky. I took a long sip from the straw and instantly regretted it as my stomach churned. It was all I could do to keep from throwing up.
Quentin rubbed my back while I dry heaved, palm moving in slow, reassuring circles.
“Why are you here? Don’t you hate me?” I managed to ask, looking into those beautiful, dark eyes of his. They weren’t guarded like usual, his worry on clear display.
“B-because I love you,” he said. His voice broke, and he blinked fast. “I thought I might n-n-never get a chance to t-tell you.”
My eyes burned at the words I thought I’d never hear. “You do? But I—”
“Turns out seeing your wife on the verge of death puts things into perspective.” One corner of his lips lifted just before he pressed a kiss to my forehead. When he pulled back, he pressed at the corners of his eyes. “I read your article.”
“You did?”
He nodded and held my hand that didn’t have an IV. “It reminded me of the woman you are. You might not be perfect, but you’re brave, and that means so much more.”
My heart clenched inside my chest, and I used his hand to pull him closer. He leaned in, letting me palm his cheek, rough with stubble. He held my hand to his face like he was trying to make sure I was real. “I love you,” he said hoarsely.
“I love you too,” I whispered, tears dripping down my cheeks. “I thought I’d lost you forever.”
He pressed his forehead to mine, eyes closed, and took a deep, shaky breath. “It was the worst hour of my life, bringing you to the hospital and waiting to see what they’d say.”
As my mind cleared, it hit me even more strongly that I could have died. And I wanted to cry because I’d spent so much of my life being afraid, hiding, feeling guilty instead of using my mistakes as lessons. “Can we start over?” I said through tears. “Please?”
“No.” He pulled back to look at me. “I’m not starting over with you, not when I know how much I love you.”
A happy, teary laugh passed through my lips. “I love you too.”
He held me, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
A knock sounded on the door. “She’s awake.” It was my brother’s voice. I stared at him in shock. “I’m at your hospital?”
“No,” he replied, stepping into the room.
Quentin squeezed my hand. “I’ll give you two some time.”
I didn’t want Quentin to go, but he slipped away from me, saying, “I’m going to call Jada and tell her you’re awake. Bryce said she hasn’t slept because she doesn’t want to miss an update.”
Once I nodded my acceptance, Quentin left the room, and Dennis stepped farther in, quietly checking my monitors, then my temperature.
He sat on the edge of my bed to listen to my heart with his stethoscope.
We’d grown up together, probably had been around each other more than anyone else, and yet he felt like a stranger.
“I think you’ll make a full recovery,” he finally said. He dropped his head into his hands. “God, Rei, I’ve been so shitty and selfish.”
My jaw dropped because I couldn’t believe my golden-boy brother was saying that. “Excuse me?”
He looked at me with red-rimmed eyes. “When Quentin called Mom to tell her what happened, all I could think about was that I missed your wedding, and then I thought about our last conversation, and I couldn’t remember the last time we really spoke.
We didn’t even talk at Christmas, and not really at Thanksgiving either. Who does that?”
I opened my mouth, but he shook his head. “Don’t answer that.”
My heart broke with that uncomfortable feeling. I wanted to save him from guilt because I knew how painful it could be, but everything he said was true.
“If it makes you feel better,” he said, “Mom’s been calling everyone on the prayer tree since she found out. There’s been a round-the-clock prayer circle in the waiting room since you were admitted yesterday morning.”
“She’s here?” I asked, and I heard the beeping on the screen go faster.
Noticing, Dennis laughed. “Mom does have that effect on people.”
I fell silent, looking at the bracelet on my wrist. It had my chosen name and date of birth. “She’ll probably give me an earful about having my detectors up and running.” I shook my head. “Has she read the news?”
“We all have,” he said with a look akin to awe.
“I could never do what you do. I know Mom and Dad are so proud that I’m a doctor, but I couldn’t manage hundreds of employees like that.
” There was a look of pride in his eyes that made my throat feel tight.
“You’re amazing, Rei, and we’ve missed it all this time. ”
“I never wanted you all to love me for what I accomplished. I wanted you to love me for who I am.” My cursed voice cracked, and I angrily wiped away tears.
Dennis looked down at his lap, blinking quickly. “I have a lot of learning to do. I never want Lucy to feel that way.”
It wasn’t an apology, not exactly, but it was an acknowledgement. And if that was all I ever got, I felt at peace about it, because at least Lulu would have it a little bit better than me.
“Do you want to see Mom and Dad?” Dennis asked.
I shook my head, trying not to feel guilty. “Not yet.”
He nodded with a smile that felt like a secret between us. “I’ll tell them you’re not medically ready for visitors other than your husband.” He started toward the door, then paused. “Rei?”
“Yeah?” I managed, feeling weaker than ever. My eyelids were growing heavier by the second.
“I like Quentin,” my brother said. “Seems like he really loves you.”
My lips weren’t too tired to smile. “I love him too.”