Chapter 27 #2
Her eyes went wide. “Money, I don’t know if…”
“Yes, you do!” My voice was raw, desperate, commanding. “Get it done! I fuckin’ need you!” I was at the doorway now, being shoved into the hallway, but I twisted back one last time. “You got the power, baby. I got the resources. We’re a team. You understand me? Say it!”
Solei was sobbing, clutching Junior to her chest, but she nodded. “I understand!” she choked out.
I held her gaze, even as they dragged me backward. “I love you. I love our babies, and I’m comin’ home. You make sure of that shit!”
“I will,” she sobbed.
“Louder!”
“I will!” Her voice broke, but it was strong.
They yanked me outside, my feet barely touching the ground, but I kept my eyes on her until the last possible second. Solei standing in the doorway. Junior in her arms, his Spider-Man pajamas, and his face wet with tears. Her hand was on her stomach. Her eyes locked on mine.
???
I closed my eyes and tried to breathe through the adrenaline clawing through my body.
Possession with intent to distribute. Conspiracy.
Maintaining a drug-involved premises. I was looking at a minimum of five years.
Maybe ten if the prosecutor wanted to make an example out of my ass.
Fuck. I was about to have another baby. Another life I was responsible for.
Another reason I should’ve been smarter, cleaner, and more careful.
By 2:47 AM, I was finally able to make a fucking phone call. I’d been in custody for almost six hours. The guard led me to a bank of payphones in the hallway. “Five minutes.”
I picked up the receiver and dialed the only number that mattered. It rang three times before the call connected, and Solei’s voice came through. “Hello?”
“Baby.”
“Money! Oh my God, Money! Are you okay? Where are you? What the hell is happening?”
Just hearing her voice made something in my chest crack open. “I’m at county. They got me on possession, intent, conspiracy…”
She was crying. I could hear it in her voice. “I found the bag and I got the key under the sink. First thing in the morning, I’m gonna go to the storage unit. I’ve already called in a favor from Morrison. He said he’ll get somebody down there for a bail hearing on Monday.”
“Good shit, baby. Good shit.”
“I’m so scared, Money. It took me forever to get Junior to sleep. He kept asking why the police took you, and I don’t know what to tell him. I just…”
“Baby, I need you to breathe.” I kept my voice calm, even though I was falling apart inside. “I need you to focus on doin’ what you gotta do and don’t tell your mom’s. Can you do that for me?”
Solei exhaled shakily. “Yes.”
“Good. Now listen. You’re gonna use money for the retainer fee and bail money. You know you only need ten percent of it, just like last time, aight?”
“I know.”
“And Soul,” I paused. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I should’ve…”
“Don’t.” Her voice was fierce now, cutting through my spiral. “You need to stay strong in there. Worry about making it up to me when I get you home. Okay?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m going to get you out. I promise.”
The CO tapped his watch. “Time’s up.”
“I gotta go,” I told Solei, gripping the phone.
“I love you so much,” Solei said, her voice breaking.
“I love you too.”
Three days later, I was brought into the courtroom in shackles for the bail hearing.
My wrists were cuffed to a chain around my waist, and my ankles bound together, so I had to shuffle like an old man.
I scanned the gallery and immediately found Solei sitting in the front row, dressed in a cream suit.
She looked exhausted but well composed. Our eyes met, and she gave me a small nod and mouthed, “I love you.”
A lawyer named Gerald was already at the defense table, shuffling through papers. He was a short Black man in his fifties, probably. The prosecutor was a young Black woman with sharp eyes and a sharper suit. She stood up and addressed the judge.
“Your Honor, the People request that bail be denied in this case. Mr. Madden is a known drug dealer with priors. He’s a flight risk and a danger to the community and…”
“Objection.” Gerald barked, already up on his feet. “My client has no prior felony convictions. He has strong ties to the community, including a loving wife and young son. He's not going anywhere.”
“He’s been under surveillance for six months,” the prosecutor shot back. “We have evidence of him distributing controlled substances, maintaining a drug house, and conspiring with known felons…”
“Alleged evidence,” Gerald interrupted. “Which we’ll challenge at trial. But this is a bail hearing, Your Honor, not a trial. My client is entitled to reasonable bail under the Eighth Amendment.”
The judge was an older Black man with gray hair and tired eyes. He looked down at the file in front of him, then his eyes met mine. “Mr. Madden, do you have anything to say?”
I stood, the chains rattling. “Yes, Your Honor. I have a five-year-old son and a pregnant wife. I’m not runnin’ anywhere. I just need to go home to my family.”
The judge studied me for a long moment, then he looked at Solei. “Is that your wife in the gallery?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Ma’am, would you stand please?” Solei stood, her hands clasped in front of her, her chin high. “State your name for the court,” The judge requested.
“Solei Winters-Madden, Your Honor.”
“And you’re pregnant?”
“Yes, sir. Nine weeks.”
The judge nodded slowly. “And you’re prepared to ensure your husband appears at all court dates?”
“Absolutely, Your Honor.”
He looked back at me. “Bail is set at one-hundred thousand dollars. Cash or bond. Next court date is in thirty days.” The gavel came down, and I saw Solei nearly collapse with relief.
The second we got to her car, I couldn’t keep my hands off her. “Baby.” I pulled her face to mine, kissing her hard, tasting her strawberry kiwi lip gloss and the tears she’d cried for me. “You really came through for a nigga. Thank you so fuckin’ much. I don't know what I would’ve done if…”
“Don’t.” She kissed me back, her hands in my hair, and for a moment, it felt like everything was good. “You’re out. That’s all that matters."
“You saved my life.” I kissed her again, softer this time. “You fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself. I'll never forget that. Never.”
She pulled back, her eyes wet, and started the car. “Let’s just get out of here.”
I settled into the passenger seat, my hand on her thigh as she drove, and I couldn’t stop talking. The words just poured out of me with the plans I’d been making in that cell and all the promises I’d been rehearsing.
“I’m gonna move smarter from now on,’ I promised. “No more sloppy shit."
“Money…”
“I’m serious, baby. I learned my lesson. I’m not goin’ back to county. I’m not puttin’ you through that again.” I squeezed her thigh. “I'm gon’ build this empire the right way. Smart. Careful. And when we’re set, when there’s got enough put away, I’m gon’ go fully legit. You’ll see.”
She was quiet, her jaw tight, her eyes on the road.
“And I’m gon’ get us a bigger house,” I continued, riding the high of freedom and her presence and the future I could see so clearly. “You’re the only woman I trust. The only one who…”
“Denisha called your phone while you were locked up.”
The words hit me like a bucket of ice water. I went still, my hand frozen on her thigh. “What?”
“Denisha.” Solei’s voice was too calm, like the kind of calm that came before a storm. “She called your phone three times and left two voicemails. I listened to both.”
Fuck.
My mind raced. This bitch from the Southside I’d been fucking on and off for a few weeks. Nothing serious. Just something to do in the hood when I needed a quick nut. “Baby, listen…”
“No.” She cut me off, her voice sharp as a blade. “You listen.”
She pulled over suddenly, jerking the car into a gas station parking lot and throwing it into park. Then she turned to face me, and the look in her eyes made my stomach drop. This wasn’t the woman who’d fought for me in court. This was someone who was hurt and was done pretending she hadn’t been.
“I know you’ve been cheating," she continued, her voice steady. “I’ve known for a while. I just didn’t want to believe it.”
“Soul…”
“I said listen.” Her hand came up, silencing me. “I’m nine weeks pregnant with your second child. I just busted my ass to get you out of jail. And the whole time I was doing that, I had to pretend like I didn’t listen to some bitch cry on your voicemail about how much she misses you.”
The shame hit me like a fist to the gut. “It didn’t mean shit.”
“I don’t care what it meant, Montana.” She sniffled, mascara running down her cheeks. “Here’s what’s going to happen.”
I stared at her, my heart pounding.
“You cheat on me again, and I'll leave. I take our kids, and I disappear, and you’ll never see either of us again. I don’t care how much money you have or how many goons you get. I will make sure you never find us.”
“What the f…?”
“I’m not finished.” Her voice was icy. “You lie to me again about where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing… I leave. You get arrested again because you were too stupid or too arrogant to move smart… I leave. You put our children in danger because of your business… I fucking leave.”
Each word was a hammer blow.
“And here’s the big one, Money. You need to get out of the game.
Not tomorrow. Not next year. Sooner than soon.
I don’t care how you do it, but you need to start working toward an exit like yesterday.
Because I’m not raising our children in a house where Daddy might get killed or locked up any day. ”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Solei wasn’t asking. She wasn’t negotiating. She was telling me how shit was going to be.
“These aren’t requests,” she continued, her eyes boring into mine. “These are conditions. You want me? You want this family? Then you follow my rules. And if you can’t do that, then tell me now so I can get out before I waste any more of my life on you.”
The car was silent except for the sound of our breathing.
I’d never seen her like this. Never heard her talk to me like this.
And the fucked up thing was, it turned me on.
This brilliant, fierce, unbreakable woman had just laid down the law, telling me exactly what she expected and what would happen if I failed.
I realized in that moment that she had all the power, not me. Her. Because she was the one who could walk away. She was the one carrying my second child. She was the one who’d just proven she’d fight for me when I needed her most. And she was the one who could destroy me by leaving.
“Say something,” she said quietly, tears filling her brown eyes.
I swallowed hard, my throat tight as we stared at each other. “I hear you, baby.”
“That’s not good enough, Money.”
“I hear you,” I repeated, my voice stronger now. “And I agree to all of it.”
“You agree to stop fucking around?”
“Yes.”
“You agree to stop lying?”
“Yes.”
“You agree to start working toward getting out of the game?”
I hesitated. That one was harder. Selling drugs was all I knew. It was how I made money, how I built my reputation, and how I survived. But then I looked at her and saw that she meant every word. If I didn’t agree, she was gone. “Aight, Soul. I agree.”
“And if you break any of these rules?”
“You take our kids and dip.”
“Good.” She turned back to the steering wheel, her hands gripping it tight. “Then we understand each other.”
“Solei…”
“I love you, Money.” Her voice cracked, just slightly, and I heard the pain underneath the steel. “I’ve always told you that I love you so much it scares me, but I love myself and our kids more. So if you can’t be the man and father we need you to be, then I'm done.”
I reached for her hand, and after a moment, she let me take it. I’m gon’ be better,” I said quietly. “I swear to God, Solei, I’m gonna be the man you deserve. The father our babies deserve.”
“Don’t tell me. Prove it.”
“I will.”
She pulled back onto the road, and we drove in silence for a while with my mind spinning.
I’d just gotten out of jail on some crazy charges, and instead of celebrating, I was sitting here realizing how close I'd come to losing everything that mattered. Solei had saved me, and then she’d put my ass on notice.
She wasn’t the same naive girl who’d stand by me no matter what I did. She wasn’t going to be a doormat or a fool. She had grown into a woman who knew her worth, had boundaries, and would walk away if I didn’t respect them muthafuckas. And that scared the shit out of me.
Because I’d never wanted to keep someone in my life so badly.
I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted her.
And I’d just realized that keeping her was going to require more than good dick, money, charm, or promises.
It was going to require change. The kind I wasn’t sure I was capable of, but I was going to try. Because losing her wasn’t an option.