Chapter 35
Darius
Wednesday came as quickly as I’d hoped. I sat in the corner booth of Majesty’s for twenty minutes waiting for Solei.
The restaurant smelled of garlic, fresh bread, and expensive wine–smells that once reminded me of her.
Now they turned my stomach, or maybe it was the alcohol. I couldn’t tell anymore.
My hands shook as I lifted the glass to my lips. The server approached with a careful expression. “Sir, can I get you anything else? Maybe some water?”
“Another bourbon.”
“Sir, I think maybe…”
“I said another bourbon.” My voice came out sharper and louder than I intended, causing attention from other patrons.
“Right away, sir.” The server nodded quickly and disappeared.
I ran my hand over my face, feeling my rough beard.
I hadn’t shaved in a week or been to work.
I wore a tracksuit and running shoes–something I never did unless I was going for my morning run.
All I could do was obsess over the fact that the life I pictured and craved with Solei was down the drain.
And Money and those fucking goons of his had all of this leverage against me.
God knows I looked a mess and I felt it too. Alcohol had been my only comfort lately and this shit wasn’t me. I didn’t know who the hell I was anymore.
The server returned with my drink, set it down without making eye contact, and left quickly.
I took a long sip from the glass and let the burn settle in my chest. I picked up my phone and scrolled through the text thread between Solei and me.
Months of conversations, pictures of her smiling, and plans I’d made for us. All of it meant nothing.
I should’ve been more like Money. That’s what kept running through my damn head.
Maybe if I’d been more aggressive, possessive, and had a little bit of a dangerous side, she’d want me then.
The thought made my chest tight, and I finished the bourbon before signaling for another. The server hesitated, then nodded.
What was I supposed to do now? Go back to my life and pretend none of this shit happened?
How was I supposed to do that? I’d introduced her to my parents and proposed.
They were proud of me for finding someone beautiful, smart, and grounded like Solei.
What a fucking joke. Just as I felt myself spiraling further into anxiety and rage, she walked in, and God, she was beautiful.
The heaviness in my chest eased as soon as I saw her.
She wore a simple white top, flared black pants that hugged her curves and open toes heels.
Her blonde hair was pulled back into a bun and her face was makeup free.
Despite everything, Solei was stunning in that effortless way that made every other woman in the restaurant stop and stare.
She spotted me in the corner booth and walked over slowly, her expression unreadable.
I stood up abruptly, almost knocking over my glass, but I caught it. “Thanks… thank you for meeting me.”
“Yeah, sure.” Her voice was soft, and her eyes held a curiosity in them as she slid into the booth.
I sat back down, and the silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating. “You look…” I started, then stopped.
“You… you look… tired,” she said quietly.
I laughed bitterly. “Yeah, sleeping has been rough.”
“I can tell.”
The server appeared, looking relieved to have something to do. “Can I get you anything, ma’am?”
“I’m fine,” Solei said. “Thank you.”
I frowned. “You don’t want the chicken marsala?” As soon as I spoke, I realized how pathetic I sounded. Why the hell would we order our favorite meals like everything was normal? “Never mind.”
The server left, and Solei folded her hands on the table and looked at me. “I know this is awkward, and I apologize.”
“For which part exactly?” My voice cracked. “For leaving me over the phone? For disappearing for a week? For choosing a fucking criminal over me?”
She flinched. “For all of it.”
“That’s not good enough, Solei.” I leaned forward, my hands shaking. “Do you have any idea what you did to me? What he did to me? Do you have any fucking idea?”
“Darius…”
“I love you, Solei. I love you. I did everything right. I was patient. I was kind. I respected you. I showed up. I… became a man who… never mind. I was there for you, and you threw it away like it meant nothing.”
“I mean, it didn’t… not… mean nothing."
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
She looked down at her hands. “It means… I’m still in love with my husband, and I guess I just needed time and space to…”
“To what? To ruin another man’s life?” I questioned, banging on the table, drawing attention again. “He’s a fucking drug dealer, Solei. He’s dangerous. He’s…”
“I know what he is and I’m not here to defend my marriage but to give you some closure.
That is all.” Solei looked up at me, and there was some sadness in her eyes, like she truly felt sorry for me.
“I’m genuinely sorry, Darius. I thought I could move on.
I thought I could build something with you. You’re a good man but…”
“I’m not him,” I finished bitterly, a rush of helpless frustration tightening my chest, mixed with a sudden, hollow sense of loss.
“It’s not about that. It’s about…” She trailed off. “It’s about who I am, who Montana is, and what we are together. Yes, it’s a little toxic, complicated, and probably unhealthy, but it’s real. It’s always been real.”
“And what we had wasn’t real?”
“For you, it was,” she replied softly.
I sat back, feeling disbelief, humiliation, and sorrow crowding my mind.
“So I never had a chance,” I said aloud.
“From the beginning, I was just... what? A placeholder? A rebound?” She didn’t confirm or deny it, and that was worse than anything she could’ve said.
I felt tears burning behind my eyes, and I blinked them back.
“I hope he’s worth everything you’re giving up. ”
We sat there in silence for a few minutes, and then she stood up and patted my hand. “I should go.”
I nodded but didn’t respond as she turned to leave.
Suddenly, something inside me snapped. I stood, tossed crumpled bills onto the table, and followed Solei to the exit.
Near the door now, the restaurant remained busy, but no one noticed.
Everyone was focused on their own meals, conversations, and lives.
I reached into my jacket and felt the cold metal of the knife I’d been carrying around with me since those goons came to the restaurant. I pulled it out and pressed it against her back.
She went rigid. “Darius, what the…?”
“Just shut the fuck up and walk.” My voice didn’t sound like mine anymore. It sounded criminal and rough. I pressed the knife hard enough to cut through her dress, but not hard enough for her to feel it. “To the parking lot. And if you scream or make a scene, I swear to God I will hurt you.”
“You don’t want to do this.” Her voice quivered as we walked out of the restaurant into the late afternoon springtime air.
“You don’t know what I want.” I was shaking now. My whole body was shaking. “You never knew what I wanted. You never fucking cared.”
“That’s not true. I…”
“I said shut the fuck up. Get in the car.” I demanded when we reached my Audi.
“Darius, please. Think about what the hell you’re doing!”
“I’m thinking clearly.” I opened the passenger door, the knife still pressed against her. “You and him destroyed me and you think you can just walk away? You think there’s no consequences?”
“Darius, please…”
I shoved her into the car, ignoring the tears streaming down her face. I quickly jogged around to the driver’s side, stumbling along the way, and yanked open the door. My hands were shaking so badly I could barely get the key in the ignition.
“You know he’ll kill you, right?” She sniffled and I looked over at her.
Yeah, she was probably right, but he had to find her first. I started the engine, laughing. “He’ll never find you, which means he won’t find me.”
Solei lunged for me, slapping and punching me, but I got the best of her and elbowed her in the face. My eyes widened as her head bounced off the window, nose leaking blood. “You fucking psycho!”
Before she could attack again, I punched her with all my might, knocking her out cold. Shock and guilt hammered my heart. I locked the doors, rage flaring as I screeched out of the parking lot. I drove, numb. Deep down, I knew this wouldn’t end well, but I didn’t care. I was already gone.