23. Lauren
LAUREN
Lauren tipped her small box of toiletries into the suitcase and stepped back, hands on hips.
From her vantage point at the center of the room, she surveyed her apartment.
Almost everything was packed, beyond some small daily necessities that she’d find space for at the end.
And except for the few things she’d left at James’s house, which she couldn’t face the thought of going back to pick up.
Lauren’s flight wasn’t until next week. She still had a few loose ends to tie up here first. She’d try to keep Sunflower PR running, with her local staff taking care of most daily tasks while she ran things on a higher level from Ottawa.
Still, Lauren knew full well that leaving San Valentino could mean the end of her business.
She might have to start over, even in a different field.
She couldn’t bring herself to care. After what had happened with James, she cared more about a fresh start than about her company. It was the first time in her life that work hadn’t been her highest priority, and she was angry that James had been able to so easily unseat her dreams.
Still. She couldn’t be here anymore.
Lauren was about to go into the kitchen to prepare a salad when a wave of nausea overtook her.
With a sigh, she sank onto a chair and reached for a glass of water.
In the last few days, since coming back to her own apartment, she’d had an annoying bout of stomach flu and a persistent headache. She was tired, too.
The timing felt like the universe had decided to rub salt in the wound of her failed relationship with James.
Well, it had never been a relationship, Lauren reminded herself. Just a business arrangement.
That knowledge didn’t make it hurt any less.
Taking another sip of water, Lauren forced herself to consider the possibility that something was wrong.
She was rarely sick, and this bout of stomach flu had the worst possible timing.
She should probably get it checked out before she left, just in case.
More than worried, Lauren felt annoyed. Trust her body to betray her just when she was already at the end of her rope.
James had left her a voice message explaining that it wasn’t him but his policies that had resulted in her clients being stolen.
It didn’t help. He was the one who’d made the policies; of course he’d known about them.
Yet he’d still claimed that he hadn’t done anything wrong when she’d confronted him.
It felt like he was looking for loopholes, and Lauren couldn’t fall for it again.
Lauren missed James. She missed their dinners and breakfasts together.
She missed brainstorming her way through difficult problems with him.
And she missed the connection she’d felt in Mexico, when it had seemed like they’d truly understood each other.
For a few days there, she’d imagined a different kind of life for herself, one with James by her side.
But that had never been anything more than a fantasy.
James was and would always be a ruthless businessman who put his own success first. There was no place for Lauren in his life, and she couldn’t make room for someone so selfish in hers, not when she already had her own parents and her career to manage.
Another wave of nausea reminded her that she had more immediate problems than James’s betrayal.
Lauren made an appointment with her doctor for that afternoon.
She did a little cleaning until it was time to go.
She’d told her landlady she’d be moving out the following week and wanted to leave the apartment in excellent condition.
The smell of the lemon-scented cleaning product she usually loved made her gag, and she couldn’t force herself to choke down the salad she had made for lunch.
It really was time to see the doctor. Stomach flus shouldn’t last more than a day or two, and this had been going on for almost a week.
Lauren’s doctor, Dr. Shen, was only a short drive away. Lauren arrived, parked, and headed inside, where she checked in with the receptionist and was soon called back.
“What brings you in today, Ms. Maddox?” Dr. Shen asked. She was an older woman with graying hair who stuck to formal address. Lauren had visited her a few times since moving to San Valentino, mostly with minor problems that were easily fixed. Hopefully, this would be the same.
“I have the stomach flu,” Lauren explained. “But it’s been a few days now, and I’m getting worried that it isn’t going away.”
“Any other symptoms?” Dr. Shen asked.
“A bit of a headache,” Lauren admitted. “And I’m feeling tired.”
Dr. Shen typed something. “Have you been taking any medications recently?”
“No.”
“Did you eat any bad food?”
“No.”
“Is anyone you know sick?”
Lauren wondered about James but shook her head. “No. Not that I know of.”
“Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”
“No,” Lauren said, then she stiffened. It was true that she hadn’t gotten her period two weeks ago as she usually would have, but Lauren’s periods had always been irregular. When she was stressed or sick, she was usually late — or even skipped a period.
But she had slept with James about a month ago. They’d used protection, but still…
“Um…” She bit her lip.
Dr. Shen looked away from her computer and met Lauren’s eyes. Her brown eyes were kind, kinder than Lauren had seen from the formal doctor before.
“Is there a chance you’re pregnant?” she asked again. Lauren managed a nod.
“It seems unlikely, but…”
“Well, there’s no need to wonder. I’ll give you a quick urine test, and we’ll know for sure. A pregnancy would explain many of your symptoms.”
Lauren nodded again. Dr. Shen stood and put a reassuring hand on Lauren’s arm.
“Don’t you worry,” she said kindly. Then she went to the cabinet and pulled out a packaged pregnancy test. “Start with this. If there’s any confusion, we can do a blood test.”
Lauren went to the bathroom, where she leaned against the wall of her stall, wrapped pregnancy test in her hand.
She wasn’t sure she could do this. If she really were pregnant, the timing would be terrible.
She was planning to go back to Canada. She might be out of work.
And the father would be a man who’d just betrayed her trust in a way she wasn’t sure she could forgive.
A man who didn’t want to be a father or have a family anyway.
“Not knowing won’t help,” Lauren told herself firmly. “You can do this.” Her old affirmation helped, and she got down to business.
Two minutes later, she stood again, holding the stick in her hand, as a very clear plus sign bloomed in the viewing window. Lauren stared at it for a long moment, her heart racing.
Her first thought, strangely, was joy. She’d always focused on work and rarely thought about family life, but knowing she was going to be a mother brought her a kind of happiness she’d never expected.
She was going to hold a sweet-smelling infant in the hospital, teach an adorable toddler to walk, drop a high schooler off at band practice or a football game…
She was going to be a mother. She would do anything and everything to give this little one the best life she could.
She would be better than her own parents. Better than James’s.
Then, the panic set in again. How was she going to tell James about this? He wouldn’t want any part in the baby’s life. She knew that. He’d been clear that he never wanted a family. But she still had to tell him.
There was panic, too, about what to do next. Lauren needed to figure out a way to support herself and the baby. Now, Sunflower PR absolutely had to survive the move. If it didn’t, she’d be out of a job when she needed one most. It wasn’t as though she could count on her family for support.
“What am I going to do?” Lauren whispered. Then she realized that she already had the answer. There were so many things to figure out, so many questions to answer, but this one, she already knew. “I can do this. I have to.”
With that, Lauren returned to Dr. Shen’s office and showed her the stick.
“May I be the first to say congratulations?” Dr. Shen said warmly.
“Thank you.” Lauren’s voice was steady, despite her many worries.
“I recommend ginger chews for the nausea,” she continued. “And plenty of rest for the tiredness. And plenty of fluids for the headache. Try eating small meals regularly, too.”
“I will,” Lauren agreed.
“Do you have someone?” Dr. Shen asked. “A partner? Someone who can help you?”
Lauren took a deep breath and told a truth that didn’t feel true at all. “I’m married. I just have to figure out how to tell my husband.”
“Well, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled,” Dr. Shen said gently. Lauren imagined James’s face when he found out that he was going to be a father. She wasn’t so sure. It was going to be a real disaster when he found out.
“We’ll see,” she said.
“Well, he loves you,” Dr. Shen said. “He wouldn’t have married you otherwise.”
Lauren had to hide a smile at that. Love hadn’t come into their marriage at all.
James hadn’t thought twice about betraying her when it came to his company.
He’d prioritized his company, just like he’d told her he would.
He would prioritize his company over the baby, too.
She was the only one who’d started to love him, and she’d never forgive herself for that.
“Well, I love this baby,” Lauren said. “That’s what I know for sure.”
“All right, then,” Dr. Shen said. The two women shook hands before Lauren left the doctor’s office.
Talking with Dr. Shen had helped her form a plan, even if it wasn’t the plan Dr. Shen would have imagined.
Lauren would go back to Canada first. She’d file for divorce.
And then, only then, when she was far from San Valentino and from James, would she call him to tell him she was carrying their child.
That way, he wouldn’t feel any obligation to be in her and the child’s life, and she could start fresh in Ottawa.
James wouldn’t care if he found out now or in a few weeks. He probably wouldn’t care about the child anyway. He only cared about his company. He hadn’t even tried to reach her in person to explain what had happened with the client-poaching fiasco, likely because he knew his argument was flimsy.
This was bigger than Lauren now. She had a baby to worry about, and she had to do the right thing for her child.