7
Robert followed Xavier to his study and closed the door behind them. He could tell by Xavier’s slightly tense shoulders and the lines by his mouth that Robert was not going to like whatever came next.
Xavier’s study was just off the entrance hall and faced the garden.
It was a bright room but shielded from direct sunlight by tall shrubbery outside.
Xavier had not changed the décor since his father had died: The room was still held in dark tones with dark green walls, wainscot in dark wood, and heavy leather furniture.
Robert, who preferred a lighter style, found it to be a bit oppressive.
Almost like a cave. He would have found it tiresome spending a lot of time in there. But each to his own, he supposed.
Robert observed his brother fiddling with some papers on the otherwise immaculate desk as he was evidently working himself up to say whatever he meant to.
Probably that he thought the match was a bad idea, that Jo was a poor choice for Robert’s bride, and that Robert should look into having the marriage annulled if at all possible.
Robert clenched his fists by his sides.
“Just say it,” Robert bit at him.
Xavier looked up slightly surprised.
They were almost of a height, but Xavier was somewhere between one and two inches taller than him.
It had always annoyed Robert, but Xavier had never mentioned it.
Robert knew other brothers would make it part of an ongoing contest or rivalry, but he and Xavier had never had such a relationship, despite having been friends since they were children.
When Robert’s mother had married Xavier’s father, they had both been nine years old. Robert had been excited that he would have a new brother but had found Xavier withdrawn and difficult to engage in play.
It was not until Xavier’s father – prompted by Robert’s mother – started taking them out riding and shooting and taught them to fence, that Xavier had started to open up to Robert when they were alone too.
Slowly over the course of a year, they had grown to be fond of each other, and when they had started Eton a year after their parents married, they had been best friends.
Which also meant that Robert was able to read him perfectly now. As one of only a few people. Xavier was known by others as the Gargoyle because of his impassive and expressionless face.
Xavier settled in his chair with a tired sigh and gestured for Robert to take the one opposite him.
“She seems… amicable enough. But it is uncharacteristically hasty of you. I want you to explain it to me in a way so that I might understand it.” Xavier’s blue eyes had an open, almost vulnerable expression as he looked at Robert across the desk.
“It…” Robert rubbed his sweaty hands on his beige breeches and looked at what was visible of the sunlit garden in the space between two neatly trimmed yew bushes.
His mother and Jo were walking slowly beside each other, his mother gesturing to a rose bush.
He smiled at her showing her roses to Jo already.
Xavier followed his gaze and his features softened even though he did not smile.
“Is it lust?” he asked. “She is an attractive woman.”
Robert knew Xavier meant nothing by it. That he only said it as an unbiased observation, yet Robert could feel his skin prickle at the thought of other men perceiving Jo in that manner. He had never felt possessive over a woman before. It had to be because she was his wife, he told himself.
“It’s more than lust,” Robert muttered and rubbed the space between his eyebrows as he thought of how to phrase it. If he could confide the strange feelings he had toward Jo in anyone, it would be Xavier.
“It is an alignment of sorts. She had made a contract for me to sign – with the terms of our marriage and they fit with mine. I could somehow see how our lives together would be. That it would be a good life, and I thought…” he looked out at the garden again, avoiding Xavier’s penetrating blue eyes.
His mother and Jo had disappeared from sight.
“I want to start a family, to have an heir of my own blood, and this arrangement saves me the time of having to court someone next season.”
His stepbrother scrutinized him for a long while, but Robert stood his ground.
“Indeed,” Xavier finally murmured and his eyes once again strayed to the papers on his desk.
“Come now, you cannot be looking forward to courting someone?” Robert tried to joke his way out of the slightly uncomfortable situation.
“I have no intention of courting anyone,” Xavier told him quietly.
“Ever?” Robert asked in surprise.
He had assumed that his stepbrother would marry one day.
Xavier only shrugged and avoided his eyes.
“I already have an heir, remember?”
“Who is eager to have himself killed in a fight against Napoleon?” Robert scoffed.
Xavier’s steady gaze returned to his and Robert suddenly had the odd idea that if Xavier had been there last night, Jo might have picked him. The thought made his mouth taste sour and he clenched his fists once again.
“We were talking about your hasty marriage,” Xavier redirected in a calm voice.
“Please, Xavier. Is there truly no circumstance under which you would have married in haste?”
Xavier’s nostrils flared as he exhaled deeply to compose himself. Robert met his gaze calmly, while he was fighting both the urge to apologize and to squeeze an explanation out of his stepbrother.
“That is neither here nor there,” Xavier said in a strained voice.
“If you say so,” Robert muttered and ran a fingernail through a grain in the desk.
“Stop destroying my desk!” Xavier snapped.
Robert met his eyes and ran his fingernail through the grain one more time before placing his hands in his lap. This earned him another glare.
“I am happy for you, if you are happy, Robert,” Xavier told him after another deep breath.
“I am happy,” Robert assured him. Even if he was not certain it was the right word. Content was probably more accurate.
“No, no, Evans, I can show myself in,” they could hear Thornston say on the other side of the door, and both looked at it as Thornston strode through it a moment later and shut it in the face of the butler.
“Good morning, both of you,” Thornston said as he plumped into the chair next to Robert. Thankfully he was not dressed in yesterday’s clothes as he had sometimes been when he showed up for a family breakfast. Instead, he was wearing a dark blue jacket and teal breeches.
They both greeted him: Robert with a grin and Xavier with his usual non-plussed expression.
Robert and Thornston had easily become friends at Eton, when he and Xavier had started at the age of ten.
But then again Thornston was friends with everyone.
It seemed to annoy him though that he was unable to make friends with Xavier.
Thornston would start spending more time with them than others, simply to see if he could gain Xavier’s trust. It felt almost like Xavier had given him a challenge and Thornston had risen to it.
Robert had not thought he had made any progress until they were going home for Christmas for the first time.
A week before they were due to leave, Xavier asked the orphaned Thornston whether he wanted to spend Christmas at Barforth Castle.
It was the closest to tears Robert had ever seen Thornston when Xavier calmly explained that he had gained permission from their parents who in turn had sought consent from Thornston’s ward, an uncle in the military who was constantly travelling.
All of it without mentioning a thing to Robert or Thornston.
Since then, it had been the three of them against the world, even though Robert still had no clue what Xavier and Thornston talked about when it was just the two of them.
“How is married life?” Thornston asked Robert with a grin.
“Good,” Robert drawled.
“I would imagine.” Thornston waggled his eyebrows.
Robert rolled his eyes. Xavier was smiling slightly though.
“It is not like that,” Robert told both of them. “We haven’t…” He stopped himself even though he knew he had said too much.
Thornston hooted in delight while Xavier sent him a surprised look.
“You haven’t. What – you couldn’t get it up? I have heard that it is more common than you might think on the wedding night. Too much pressure.” Thornston smirked as he spoke.
Robert scratched his neck, thinking of whether he should reveal Jo’s second list or not. But he had already gotten himself in so deep that he might as well.
“She wants to wait. Until we know each other better,” he said and sent both of them a stern gaze to tell them that they were not to mock Jo. He had sensed how important this was to her.
“Seems like a clever decision,” was all Xavier said.
“It actually makes me like her more that she is willing to stand up to you in that manner.” Thornston was slightly more serious now.
Robert nodded curtly to let them know he had heard and that it was the end of the discussion.
“I don’t believe a word of it, Josephine!” a male voice yelled from the entrance hall not far away.
Robert was out of his chair without a second thought. His instinct was to reach Jo immediately.