17
Jo placed her hands on her still warm cheeks as she waited for Robert to return to the morning room.
The day was bright outside, and she longed to go for a long walk.
She was meeting Beatrice later for a stroll in the park with her, the children, and the nanny, but it was hardly the same as walking for miles on an empty windswept beach.
It was the only thing she could think of to clear her mind. Heavens, how she needed it.
The smell of bacon made her look at Robert’s half-eaten sandwich.
He had piled so much bacon into it that it was spilling out the side.
Was this his normal breakfast? They had been married for four days now and had only breakfasted together once when they went to Xavier’s house. One of them was always busy it seemed.
The door opened quietly behind her, and she turned to see Robert enter.
“He apologized again,” Robert told her as he came back to his chair to sit down.
Jo nodded but did not speak. Did Robert find her foolish as well for not knowing that an affair could be conducted in a carriage? Or too forward for having asked about the Thistleworths’ business? If he did, he had thankfully not shown it.
Perhaps she could ask Beatrice later about intercourse in a carriage, if there was a moment when the children and the nanny were not in earshot.
But it felt peculiar asking her friend about this, since Jo knew Mr. Oakley as well.
Perhaps Beatrice could recommend a book on the topic instead. If books on this topic even existed?
“Jo,” Robert said and waited for her to meet his eyes, before he continued. “He should not have laughed at you. I am sorry that he embarrassed you.”
“I know he meant nothing by it. It is simply his nature,” she told him.
“About the other matter, the Thistleworths…”
“We were simply gossiping,” Jo interrupted him.
“I know. Is there…” Robert picked up his sandwich but did not take a bite. “Is there anything you want to… ask me?”
“You?” Jo said surprised, then a horrible thought hit her. “Were you at the house party?”
“Heavens, no!” Robert exclaimed. “I meant Thornston said he was perhaps a bit more forward with you than he should have been.”
Jo eyed him for a second. It would be easiest to let the topic rest, to act as if she did not know what he was talking about. But she instinctively felt that the best way forward for them would be if she was honest. They had promised each other to be honest after all.
“You mean him implying that Lord Thistleworth has an affair with a man?” she asked and Robert nodded. “It is probably impossible to dictate what Thornston says to whom, but you should implore him not to mention it to anyone. Since it is illegal.”
Robert nodded thoughtfully and took a bite of his sandwich before he spoke.
“You are right, that it is almost impossible to tell Thornston what to do. Did it not shock you?”
“A bit, yes,” Jo acknowledged. “But my uncle had a lot of books about ancient Greece…”
Their gazes met, and she could see the smile dancing in Robert’s, crinkles forming around his eyes and lips. Jo felt a smile form on her own lips, before Robert burst out laughing. Just one sharp grin and she could not contain her mirth either.
“Ancient Greece, of course,” he muttered before taking another bite of his sandwich.
Jo took this as a sign that this part of their conversation was over and she rose to retrieve a cup of coffee even though she did not particularly like it.
She needed to add one third milk and one third sugar to be able to drink it.
She liked how it made her feel more awake though.
Robert had finished both his coffee and his sandwich by the time she returned to the table.
“Why didn’t you come last night?”
She had been so angry with him yesterday, but it was more difficult to direct that anger at him now as he was sitting beside her at the head of the table.
“Jo,” Robert exhaled her name.
“Don’t use my name as a plea,” she teased him gently in reference to Maggie.
He seemed to catch it, at least he smiled slightly, before he ran a hand through his auburn hair.
“It was very poorly done of me. Very poorly indeed.”
Jo could only nod. She remained quiet and hoped he would continue speaking on his own.
“I… I had too much to drink. I don’t usually imbibe much, but yesterday I just…” Robert sighed heavily as he leaned back in his chair and looked at the far wall of the room as if searching for an answer.
He was dressed in the clothes he had worn yesterday when he left the house.
Not his evening attire that he had had his valet sent to Thornston’s townhouse.
He had dark circles under his eyes and was unshaven.
The last part was slightly enticing. Jo had never felt a man’s stubbles but wondered breathlessly what it would feel like against her palms. Prickly by the look of it.
The idea made her palms heat, a warmth that spread to both the juncture of her thighs as well as her breasts before she looked away.
“I am sorry,” Robert told her and drew her attention back to him. Jo had been so caught up in studying him that she had forgotten he still owed her an explanation. “The past few days have been more stressful than I thought they would.”
Robert rubbed his forehead. Jo held her breath as she waited for him to speak.
“And I over-imbibed to relieve some of the… stress. I am sorry, Jo. I should have been there. It was my idea to attend the soirée. Can you forgive me?”
Jo frowned as she studied his sincere expression. She was certain he was telling the truth, just not all of it.
“Yes,” she said slowly as she was still trying to figure out why he was not telling her everything.
“Can you cancel your plans tomorrow? I should like for the two of us to spend time together. Not riding,” he told her with a smile.
Jo returned it and for the first time in days, she felt the connection that had been there when they first met. The certainty that a friendship might grow between them. Perhaps even a partnership in time.
“Where are we going?” Jo asked as she sat across from Robert in the carriage the next day.
“You will see,” Robert told her. The side of his mouth quivered as he was evidently trying to contain a smile.
They had been driving for longer than Jo had since arriving in London a week ago – heavens, had it been no more than a week?
The houses outside the carriage window were changing from the lavish mansions of Mayfair to smaller ones and then farther between as well.
They had already travelled past Hyde Park, which had been her initial guess as to where they were going.
“Are we leaving the city?” Jo finally had to ask as the scene outside became rural.
“Yes.”
“But… who lives here?” she asked.
“No one. Well, plenty of people,” he amended, “But we are not visiting anyone today.”
“What are we going to do then?”
He gave her a mischievous smile which Jo could not help but return.
Matters between them had been easier since their conversation yesterday morning, even if they had not spent much time together.
She had gone on a walk with Beatrice in the early afternoon, met with Helena, Maggie and Philomena for tea and biscuits at the Barforth townhouse, then they had gone to the ball together.
Arriving together, leaving together. Robert had not strayed from her side.
It had been a performance more than anything, and besides the brief chat in the carriage on the way there and home, it had offered them little time to talk.
They had both been exhausted when they had returned and simply bid each other goodnight before venturing into their separate bedrooms.
“Is this… Hampstead Heath?” Jo asked tentatively as her attention was snagged by the grassy slopes interspersed with a few trees and shrubbery.
“Indeed.”
“And what are we going to do here?” Jo frowned. Mostly because of his happiness in being here.
“Walk,” Robert told her. “You prefer to walk, no? The beach is too far away so this was the best that I could do within the span of a day.”
Jo was so surprised that she did not know what to say.
He had organized the day based on what she preferred.
He had to have put little pieces of information together, since she had never outright stated that she liked to walk on the beach.
It warmed her greatly that he was gathering details of her in the same way she was of him.
Jo gulped as she recognized the significance of this.
“Thank you,” she told him emphatically and reached across the carriage to squeeze his hand once. They were both wearing gloves, and it was much briefer than the day before, but she was still able to feel how he squeezed back for a second.
“You are welcome,” Robert told her quietly with a slight smile.
“Would you prefer to eat or to walk first?” Robert asked as he helped her out of the carriage.
Jo was busy studying the landscape around them. The gentle hills were covered in knee-high grass that almost glowed in the sunshine. It was a perfect summer day with a bright blue sky and scattered stark white clouds.
There was a slight breeze, and Jo inhaled the fresh air deeply.
It was heavenly being away from the stench of London after having been trapped there for a week.
Beatrice had told her that she had come at a particularly bad time, since the summer made the city stink.
Jo was not certain that she would ever be a city dweller no matter the season.
“Walk, definitely,” she told him.
Robert offered her his arm, and she hesitantly laced her own through his. Robert instructed the footmen to set up luncheon while they walked, and they headed off down a path that was only just wide enough for the two of them to walk beside each other.
“You prefer to walk alone, don’t you?” Robert asked.
Jo nodded.
“It is what I am used to yes. But it is also a great way to collect my thoughts, I find.”
“I prefer riding, I have to admit,” Robert told her, then added: “I don’t feel comfortable with you walking alone here, but I can walk behind you or in front of you, whichever you prefer. Or we can walk beside each other in silence.”
Jo sent him a surprised look. It was extremely considerate of him. She was met with the steady confidence she had seen the first evening. The one that told her that he took her seriously.
“If you would walk ahead of me for a bit,” Jo said hesitantly. It seemed strange, but he had offered it himself. “We will talk over luncheon, then?”
“Of course,” Robert assured her and walked in front of her without a moment’s hesitation.
They continued like that for a couple of hours.
Robert would turn every so often to make certain that Jo was still there.
Each time their eyes met, they would send each other a reassuring smile, before Robert turned around and continued walking.
Each time Jo felt a little more certain that she was in fact befriending her husband.