Chapter 33
The stairs creak under my feet as I drag myself up to the second floor of the tasting room building, my stomach heavy with what I’m about to do.
A few months ago, I wouldn’t have given up the opportunity to buy the vineyard for anything. Hell, I got married just to do it. Now, I’m ready to walk away just to keep Haley and Maggie from ever having to deal with her ex. If I don’t do this, I’ll never be able to live with myself. Even if it means losing Haley.
And that’s the part I struggle with.
It’s not losing the vineyard that makes me feel like my heart’s been ripped from my chest.
It’s that Haley will no longer have a reason to be married to me once I do this.
Like I told Jude, it’s for the best. I’ve already done enough damage. The sooner we end this farce of a marriage, the better.
At least for her and Maggie.
Approaching the door to Grady’s office, I draw in a deep breath and peek my head inside. “You got a minute?”
He snaps his head up from the paperwork covering the surface. “Beckham.” He waves me in. “What brings you to the big house? I suppose you should get used to it, considering you’ll be running the show in a couple of months.”
“That’s actually what I’d like to talk to you about.”
He eyes me suspiciously, then gestures to the chair across from his desk. “What’s on your mind, son?”
I sit, rubbing my hands along my jeans. “You know I love you like I do my own father. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be today.”
“You’d be right here, Beckham. You’re a good man. Always have been.”
A pang of guilt shoots through me, his words making me feel even worse about all the lies I’ve told him over the past few months, especially considering everything he did for me after I got out of prison.
And how did I repay him? By lying to him just so he’d sell me the vineyard.
“I’m not a good person, Grady.”
“No one’s perfect. You can’t keep beating yourself up over things you did as a teenager. That stuff doesn’t define who you are now. And the man you are now?—”
“I lied to you,” I interject before he can bestow any more praise I don’t deserve on me. “My marriage to Haley isn’t real. It’s a sham. After you told me you didn’t want to sell to me because you were worried I’d miss out on having a family, I made a deal with her.”
It’s silent for several protracted moments. It’s probably only a matter of seconds, but with my confession lingering heavy in the air, it feels like an eternity.
“I see.” He relaxes into his chair and stares out the window at the acres of vines, the California sun shining brightly on them.
I study his face, searching for any hint of how he might be reacting to the truth. But his expression is as impassive as ever.
“Do you think you’re telling me anything I don’t already know?” he says when he finally looks my way.
I blink repeatedly. “You knew?”
He chuckles lightly. “I’ve known since the beginning. When you told me you were getting married, I had a feeling it was because of the condition I placed on you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was curious to see how it would play out. And maybe the romantic in me hoped it would not only help you realize there are more important things than work, but would also bring the two of you back together. From where I’m sitting, it worked. I haven’t seen you this happy in years. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you take time off from work.”
“Most employers would hate that,” I remark.
“Not me. Not when it means you’ve finally found something to live for other than work.”
“It doesn’t matter, Grady. It still wasn’t real. At least not for her.”
He narrows his gaze on me. “Are you sure about that? I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Seen?—”
“It’s. Not. Real,” I bark, my voice thundering against the walls.
I’ve never raised my voice to him before. Not like this. I just can’t stomach sitting here and listening to him go on about how Haley looks at me or how happy I’ve been these past few months without it feeling like there’s a vice squeezing my heart.
“I’m sorry. I just…” I blow out a long breath and lift my eyes back to his. “I still lied to you. You don’t deserve that, especially after everything you’ve done for me. Which is why I’ve decided to rescind my offer to buy the vineyard.”
He straightens, concern creasing his brow. “Didn’t you hear me? I’ve known the truth all along. I’m just as guilty of lying as you think you are. Hell, I essentially forced you to get married.”
I shake my head. “No, Grady. You didn’t. You were just looking out for me. Like you have all my life. Now it’s my turn to repay the favor. I overheard what Benson and Associates offered you for this land. It’s more than double what I can afford. You’ve sacrificed enough for me over the years. You should sell to them. Have the retirement you deserve and not have to worry about money. You won’t have that if you sell to me.”
“I don’t care about the money.” He waves me off. “I’ve saved enough over the years to be able to enjoy my retirement, so?—”
“Regardless, I’ll still be rescinding my offer. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
I start to stand, but before I can, Grady asks, “What’s going on, Beckham? Why are you really doing this?”
“I thought I wanted to run my own vineyard, but I’ve realized I’m not cut out for it.” I gesture to the paperwork piled high on his desk. “I’d miss making wine too much.”
“That’s the beauty of being the owner. You get to make the rules. The only reason I stopped being as involved in the process is because you’re better at it than I ever was. You don’t want to deal with the paperwork? You can hire someone to do it for you.”
“I’m just not ready for the added stress. I’ve already spoken with my lawyer, and according to the terms of my offer, I’ll lose my down payment.”
“I’m not keeping your money, Beckham.”
“My lawyer will have the paperwork to you in the next day or two. I just wanted to tell you now. That way you can reach out to Benson and reopen negotiations.”
He furrows his brow, his analytical stare studying me intently. “Why do you seem so adamant about me selling to Benson?”
“I did some research. They’ve bought other vineyards and turned them into one-stop vacation destinations for wine-enthusiasts. It would be a win, not just for us, but all the other small vineyards in the area.”
He exhales, shaking his head. Then he slowly lifts his gaze back to mine. “Are you sure this is what you really want? Think about everything you’re giving up.”
I swallow hard. He has no idea how much I’m giving up. Then again, he just might.
Still, I have to do this. For Haley. And Maggie.
“This is what I really want.”