31. Maksim
MAKSIM
Isat in the chair and waited for Carina to exit the bathroom.
Without trying to eavesdrop, I heard it all.
I’d left the door open when I left her to shower.
I hadn’t planned to, nor had I cared to secure the door and make sure it was shut all the way.
Modesty was an unnecessary afterthought between us, and we seldom closed the bathroom door when we showered anymore.
Often, we were in the spacious stall together.
I hadn’t wanted to go far, though, anticipating that she would be upset and perhaps want my comfort.
It couldn’t be easy for her, knowing that her previous family was threatening her current one. Her past ties were conflicting with her wishes for the future.
While I would have preferred for her to tell me that she intended to contact Arturo on her own, I respected that she didn’t have to.
It was in that moment as I calmly sat in the armchair and waited for her to exit that I accepted how profoundly I trusted her.
She wasn’t stupid.
She wasn’t duplicitous.
More than once, she’d shown me how she wanted to be with me and valued our marriage. How she understood that we were together, no matter what.
I trusted her to have my back off the side of the road when we were ambushed.
I trusted her instinct to pull me to safety during that drive-by.
I trusted her every time she gave input when we discussed a smuggling run.
And I definitely trusted her with our child who was growing in her belly.
Yet, a lingering flicker of annoyance resided in me that she’d called him before telling me that she might.
Rein in it.
She’s not a problem.
We don’t have a problem between us.
But I stayed, waiting to confront her about her calling him instead of letting this go.
When she stepped out, she halted mid-step and froze. Her brows shot up high. Her lips parted.
In nothing but a thick, terry towel, the whiteness of the fabric a sharp contrast to her sunkissed skin, she stood still and stared me down.
“Maksim.” She cleared her throat as she furrowed her brow. “I didn’t realize you were still here.”
I can tell.
She wouldn’t look this startled or surprised otherwise.
Crossing her ankle in front of the other, she licked her lips and watched me closely.
I didn’t react, though, staying seated and resting my elbow on the armrest, my chin in hand.
“I…” She lowered her gaze.
Was she going to lie and avoid admitting that she’d called Arturo, seemingly behind my back?
“I…” She heaved a heavy exhale then nodded. “You heard. You heard me call him.”
Still no reaction. I didn’t need to answer that. It was implied.
“I had to. I had to do something.”
Now, I leaned forward, resting both of my elbows on my knees as I regarded her. Seeing how stressed she was, witnessing the indecision and worry on her gorgeous face, was like having a knife twisted inside my gut. “You did not need to do anything.”
She shook her head, approaching me slowly. “I felt like I had to. But whatever you’re thinking, whatever you are assuming, you’re wrong.”
I straightened, frowning up at her as she stepped between my legs and faced me.
She wasn’t cowering or hiding. She wasn’t deflecting or lying.
“I didn’t call him to be a spy or anything like that.”
I shook my head slowly, reaching out to her until she took my hand. “I know.”
She came to me willingly, following my guidance until she sat on my lap, her legs draped over one of my thighs.
“I have never spied. Although he asked.” She furrowed her brow.
“But I’ve realized that he only said that to distract me.
He probably knew how much I’d protest being arranged in a marriage.
He probably lied about wanting me to spy just so I could feel like I had a purpose, to cover up how he was pushing me away. ”
I brushed her hair from her face. She’d already shared a little about this, but it wasn’t bad to hear it again.
“And he never did want anything from me. He didn’t expect any intel from me.
Probably because he wouldn’t have gotten anything useful.
In the beginning, I saw my marriage to you and my introduction to this family as what it should’ve been.
As what an arrangement would’ve meant if our fathers were in power still—a symbol of good faith between the families.
But he didn’t share that view anymore. He stopped seeing the Bratva as a partner of any kind.
Even if I had tried to spy or had seen anything that might’ve interested him—which I didn’t—he never made any effort to stay in touch with me. ”
I cupped her face, urging her to look at me instead of down at her towel tied around her body.
“I haven’t talked to him since the day he arranged for me to marry you.”
“I know,” I told her sincerely.
She smirked. “A firewall?” she guessed.
I nodded. “But I don’t need a technological layer of security to tell me that I can trust you.”
She leaned against me and sighed.
“I also don’t need you to be so stressed out that you try to take matters into your own hands and reach out to him.”
She sat up and frowned. Before she could speak, I pressed my finger to her lips.
“My job is to protect you. Both you and our child. Any problem that arises with him will be mine to solve, Carina.”
She dodged my finger and frowned again. “But?—”
I gripped her chin and pulled her close so I could kiss her quiet.
“But nothing. I am here to protect you, and I will. I respect that this situation can’t be easy.
I understand that you feel bound to help the Cartel you came from.
And I appreciate your loyalty to be honest with me.
That is why I must be honest with you. I’m not worried that you’re spying, or that you intend any harm to the Bratva and this family.
Your family. I simply do not want your brother to have a direct means of messing with you like this.
I abhor the idea of him causing you further strife and forcing you to feel at all stressed. ”
She arched one brow. “Why, because I’m pregnant now? I can’t handle anything anymore?”
“No. Regardless of whether you are pregnant or not, I don’t want to see you torn up about this. About him.”
“He’s been my main stressor for years. I can handle it.”
I stroked my thumb over her lower lip. “No. That’s just it.
You shouldn’t have to handle it. Not on your own.
You have me now. You are my wife. And it is my duty to shoulder the responsibility of family with you.
Your family. Mine. Ours. You are not alone anymore, Carina, and you will never be expected to stay tough like your father might have trained you to. You can lean on me, always.”
She nodded, resting against me.
“You are mine to protect,” I repeated, needing her to understand this completely. “You are a Volkov.”
“But I don’t want war,” she admitted. “I thought that if I could reach him and get through to him, the Cartel wouldn’t have to suffer with whatever he’s planning. I am only thinking ahead that when—not if—his plans fail, that the Cartel will have no one, not even me in the background anymore.”
Her reply both irked and impressed me. Adrik and I had just talked about this—that if Arturo wasn’t in charge anymore, a power vacuum would pose more complications.
But it wouldn’t be her complication. She should be content and safe here, at my side, preparing for our child and to continue as our strategist.
“You haven’t been there in the background since you married me,” I reminded her. “And there is no going back. You are a Volkov, and should there be any war, you will be protected as one of us.”
“I’m not suggesting that I go back. It’s just that I’ve been the only one to ever try to get him to see reason. I didn’t call him to overrule you or beat you to the punch. It’s just that he’s my brother and I had hoped that he would talk to me, his sister, before fighting with anyone else.”
I kissed her and framed her face. She had too big of a damn heart.
“I don’t want to see the Bratva targeted, but a part of who I used to be still struggles with letting go of the Cartel as well. They deserve better.”
No. You deserve better.
And if killing Arturo was what it took to give this woman peace for once in her life, I was wasting time delaying the inevitable.