Chapter 10
TEN
The next morning Rita woke to her six a.m. alarm with a queasy twist in her stomach.
Groaning, she clutched the duvet and tried to ride it out.
Illness was the last thing she had time for, not with a retreat in full swing.
She reached for the water on her bedside table, grimacing as a strange, metallic tang hit her tongue, then bolted for the en-suite.
She barely made it before throwing up.
Fantastic, she thought, bracing against the sink. Guests to check on, breakfast to organise, goats and chickens waiting to be fed… absolutely not the day to be sick. Rita wiped her mouth, took a steadying breath, and had just flicked the shower on to warm when her phone rang.
‘Morning, Mum! Just checking in and I wanted to ask you something.’
‘You’re up early, Sen.’ Rita took another cautious sip of water. ‘Hang on a sec, darling.’ She turned the shower off.
‘Busy, busy, you know what this time of year’s like,’ her daughter trilled. ‘Anyway… you know we’ve got the June wedding coming up?’
‘How could I forget.’ Rita sighed and lay back on the bed.
‘Mum, are you all right?’
‘Yes, darling. It’s just early and…’
But before Rita could mention her dodgy stomach, Sennen continued. ‘So! The bride called last night. She wanted to know if they could rent all five yurts for a week from June the third. The day before the wedding. I think you said there’s no retreat on, so it’d be a great little earner for you.’
Rita looked to her nails that were desperately in need of a manicure, and yawned loudly.
‘Yes, the main summer retreat’s in July this year, so that’s fine. We’ve had a few open bookings for June, but I don’t think the first week’s taken. Tell them to book quickly if they do want to go ahead.’
‘Will do! Love you, Mum. And cheer up, will you? Gotta dash. Bye!’
The moment the call ended, Rita pressed a hand to her stomach. Still… off. Her breasts were tender. Her head foggy. Maybe a period was going to show itself? Hard to tell as her cycle had been all over the place for months.
She sat up and rang Kelly, who answered with a groan. ‘Jesus, Reet, it’s the middle of the night. Hang on.’
There was shuffling, then… ‘Listen.’
A monster snore rattled down the line. Rita snorted.
Kelly sniggered. ‘Seriously! This is what I have to live with. A warthog with sinusitis would make less noise. Anyway, you OK?’
‘Not really. I’m not feeling great. Just wanted to check, have you ever felt sick at all in your perimenopause madness?’
Kelly went quiet for a second before her tone shifted. ‘You don’t think you’re up the duff, do you, Reet?’
Rita froze. ‘Stop. No. Don’t say that. It’s impossible. I’m too old anyway.’
Kelly laughed. ‘If you’re still bleeding, you’re still breeding, but I very much doubt it, too. You are careful, aren’t you?’
‘Erm. Yes. Kind of.’
Rita thought back to the wild Valentine’s morning of sex with Jago.
Condom on, then off and… it was passionate!
Throughout the seven months they had been sleeping together, they had been careful to a degree, but she hadn’t had a proper period for months, and the risk of getting pregnant was never at the forefront of her mind now, unlike when she had been in her twenties or thirties.
‘It’s probably something you’ve eaten.’ Kelly sniffed.
‘Hmm. I did have a spicy biryani last night.’
‘That would do it, but get a test, anyway, Reet. Or go to the doctor. And if you’re not pregnant, get yourself on the HRT; it’ll stop you being such a moody cow and might even sort those raging hormones out once and for all.’
‘Oh God. What if I am, Kel? What the hell if I am?’
‘Then we deal with it, like we’ve dealt with everything else for the past thirty-five years we’ve been mates. Right, I need to get up; the salon won’t open itself. Call me once you’ve done it, OK?’
Rita hung up and drank her water down in one. She couldn’t be. Could she? A baby. A baby.
It was hard enough juggling grown-up kids, goats, chickens, and a constant stream of retreat guests, never mind adding another tiny human into the chaos.
She checked her watch. As Kelly had said, the chance of her being pregnant was slim.
There was no way she was buying a pregnancy test from Blackburn’s at the harbour.
Not without her full Line of Duty disguise.
She wasn’t risking the Seahaven Bay Facebook Gossip Group exploding by lunchtime.
She’d feed the animals, then call the doctor.
Her gaze drifted to the photos on her dressing table.
Her heart warmed at the twins on their first day of school.
Then it started to bang in her chest at the sight of her mum and dad on her wedding day.
She touched her stomach again. Her mother: late forties, years of trying, then Rita had arrived. Shit! Of course it was possible!
She sighed deeply. She had just got her life in order; she wasn’t ready for another huge life change. But amidst the nausea and the fear, was that another feeling too? A tiny flicker of excitement?
By seven thirty a.m., the Cosy Café was already rich with the scent of fresh bread and citrus when Rita walked in, covered in bits of straw from cleaning out the chicken coop.
She placed a basket of fresh eggs on the long wooden counter, where Zenya was humming softly as she laid out bowls of berries and warm pastries.
The gentle April light glinted off the chunky plait draped over the woman’s shoulder.
‘Morning, lovely.’ Zenya beamed. ‘Honestly, I’m so pleased everyone has decided to come down from High Meadow for breakfast today. It’s so much nicer preparing food for real faces rather than shoving bits into takeaway boxes. Feels more communal.’
Rita sank herself onto a stool. ‘Apologies if I’m slightly absent this first week.
I’m going to be up to my eyes in paperwork.
The wedding licence alone requires so much information.
Kids! It really is never-ending.’ Trying to push away the thought that she may well be starting this whole circle of life all over again, Rita forced a nervous laugh.
‘It’s OK, Teo and I are seasoned professionals now.’ Zenya started taking mugs from the cupboard and placed them on the side.
Rita smiled. ‘That you are. I will definitely come to the first moonlight mantra, though.’
Zenya popped the kettle on. ‘Good, but honestly we’re doing OK, Rita.’
‘You’re doing OK, I have no doubt of that, but are the guests behaving themselves?’
Zenya started to cut a freshly made loaf.
‘They’ve only been here a minute, but behind the bravado, they are mostly a lovely bunch.
I stayed with them a bit longer than usual last night and noticed that Cass never sits still.
Odette rarely stops moaning about men and her writer’s block, Priya could realign all our chakras with a single smile, Davie is constantly talking of filming Love Chalet: The Seahaven Edition, and Imogen’s still giving strong “don’t try to make me join in” energy. ’
Rita laughed. ‘Well, let her be, I guess. Still waters run deep and all that. I’m so lucky to have you and Teo and boy, does it smell heavenly in here.
’ Rita’s voice quietened. ‘I’m not feeling brilliant, though, Zen.
Bit off. I think it’s the perimenopause doing its thing. I’m going to ring the doctor in a bit.’
Zenya stilled. The brightness in her face softened into something deeper, more searching. She stepped in front of Rita and lowered herself slightly, so they were eye level. Her gaze unmistakably intense. ‘May I?’
Trusting Zenya implicitly, Rita nodded at whatever was to come. Zenya hovered her palms around Rita’s head, down her shoulders, then over her middle, not touching, just sensing. It sent a shiver through Rita, like a soft breeze brushing her skin.
Zenya inhaled sharply, then in a whisper said, ‘There’s nothing wrong with you, Rita. Aside from being pregnant, that is.’
Rita froze. Her heart lurched against her ribs.
‘Zenya, come on, how do you know that for sure?’
Zenya’s expression was gently certain, the kind of certainty that felt older than logic. ‘Because your energy is glowing. It’s… new life. I can feel it.’
Rita’s eyes stung. ‘I feel far from bloody glowing.’
Before Zenya could reply, the door banged open.
‘Moooorning!’ boomed Davie, designer cap askew, his face still half asleep. ‘I know it’s early but I’m starving. I’m so not used to having a full fridge in the room next door to dive into. Been dreaming of eggs on toast all night. Properly haunting me.’
The absurdity of everything Davie said caused Rita to laugh; he was so over the top, but so lovable with it.
‘Well.’ Rita pushed off her stool and pointed to the egg basket. ‘You’d better get some of these freshly laid ones inside of you, before you starve to death.’
‘That sounds almost pornographic but thank God,’ Davie declared dramatically, flouncing onto a bench with his buzzing phone aloft. ‘A real-life food angel in our midst.’
Zenya caught Rita’s eye. ‘I’m running the gong workshop this morning but will be planting out in the allotment later.’
‘Lovely,’ Rita said, heading for the door. ‘See you later. Have a good day, Davie. And is that a phone I can see… and hear…?’
‘Busted.’ He grimaced and put it face down on the table.
Rita left them to it, grinning, and stepped out into the soft April air.
Behind her, Zenya called, ‘Everything’s growing fast out there now. It’s that time of year.’
Rita touched her stomach without thinking. Kelly had sown the first seed of doubt, but Zenya had deep-rooted it. And now, ready or not, she had to face the possibility that she could be carrying Jago Jenken’s child.