Chapter 5
FIVE
SAY YES
Beth
The door to the cinema’s staff room banged open, and I cracked a weary eyelid, unfurling myself from my position on the too-hard sofa.
All through the first half of my shift, I’d been trying to avoid an unhappy realisation.
While ushering guests into screenings, I’d pictured what James’s life must be like.
The freedom he had to drive a fancy car through glens, over mountains, and around lochs.
I tried not to let envy devour me. For either the man or the car.
What a difference to my life of busting my backside for a crappy wage.
A life I was stuck with for who knew how long.
I simply couldn’t bring myself to send James a message telling him it was a no-go. The weekend glistened, just outside of reach, and I was heartsick at always being the one fighting to get something good. And failing.
It wasn’t me, this slump. But after the morning’s news, I was tired and blue.
“Ooh, Beth.” Barry, the shift supervisor, bounded in and crossed the room to pour himself a coffee. Then he clonked the jug down and clapped his hands together in glee. “Goody, I need to tell someone what I just saw.”
“Not another one?” I stretched out my arms and yawned.
Only one thing sparked that degree of joy in any of my colleagues—some overeager couple getting up to no good in a darkened corner of one of the theatres. It happened more than you’d think.
“Yes! But not customers,” Barry sang, his eyes bright in his round face.
“Staff? Who?”
“That would be telling.” He clamped his lips together then side-mouthed, “Gareth and Meg. They didn’t see me, but phew! I’ll never be able to look at them the same way again.”
I pulled a face of pretend shock as nobody, not even management, cared what the staff got up to. Good for them. I was in no way jealous of them getting a little action.
Fine, maybe a tiny bit.
My limbs tingled. Thoughts of James’s big, hard body came into my mind yet again. Yeah, no friend-zoning for him.
“There’s something else I have to discuss with you.” Barry took a long swig of his coffee. “I want to ask a favour. The weekend shifts have to change, and I need you on Friday and Saturday. Can you manage it?”
It was The Corkscrew conversation all over again. Despite Kendra’s angry request to change my shifts last week, and the new guy who kept creeping in and filling extra hours, for the past couple of months my schedule hadn’t changed. Two jobs, two halves of the week. No change.
“I’m really sorry. I’ve got another job. I wish I could help.”
“I understand. It’s late notice, so no problem.” The supervisor heaved a sigh then left the room.
I chewed my lip.
Something niggled at me.
The new barman in The Corkscrew had asked Kendra for the shifts I couldn’t cover, and he’d got them.
A couple of days ago, he’d asked me if there were any other hours I didn’t want and he’d stayed late despite the fact they didn’t pay us for a second after our scheduled time.
Kendra had been all smiles for the guy before she’d made a quip about loyalty. It had washed over me at the time.
The weekly rota would have been published today.
Kendra wouldn’t change it, would she?
Whipping out my phone, I brought up the shift calendar on The Corkscrew’s staff page. My Sunday and Monday hours were there, but Friday and Saturday lay blank.
No.
Stan, that was his name. He was listed on the slots I’d had for months. The barman had taken my shifts?
Oh God, no.
I dialled the restaurant, my stomach churning. “Kendra?” I said as she answered.
In short, sharp sentences, she confirmed it wasn’t a mistake.
I’d lost twenty hours of work over those two days, plus tips. A huge portion of my salary.
“We’re trialling a change this week,” she stated. “Some staff might find their shifts have altered.”
“Did anybody else get moved?”
“I’d have to check the schedule.” I could hear the smug smile in her voice. She knew what she was doing.
“But those are my shifts!” I clamped the phone to my ear. I had no right to anything, with both my jobs being zero-hour contracts, but I worked hard, I was never late. “Friday and Saturday. I need them.”
Kendra tutted. “The shifts are fixed. Perhaps in future you’ll be more flexible when I ask you to help out. Try to be more like Stan.”
Then she hung up on me.
I fled the room, chasing Barry through the cinema’s narrow corridors.
I found him with Gareth, a skinny Goth guy who, before each shift and in line with the cinema’s hygiene policy, had to conceal his multiple piercings with sticky plasters.
That didn’t stop one of our colleagues from screwing him, but hey, who was I to judge?
“Wonderful.” Barry beamed at Gareth and scribbled on his pad.
“Barry. Those shifts—”
“Ah! Don’t worry. Gareth has agreed to cover them.” Barry’s cheeks flushed pink, and he widened his eyes. “He’s happy to stand up when the cinema is in need.”
I couldn’t bring myself to laugh at the inside joke.
Gareth scratched at his ear. “Score one for me. I really need the cash.”
“You do?” My shoulders sagged.
“Yeah. I’m saving for a deposit to rent my own place. I’m nearly there.”
I’d heard Gareth mention having problems with his dad. Damn, he needed this as much as I did. What a day for the guy. Sex in the store room, then this.
The happy pair wandered back along the hall and, as they opened the door to the public area, I sank against the wall.
No work for two whole days.
For months, I’d carefully arranged it so this wouldn’t happen.
A quick mental tally told me I had enough saved to cover Alison’s pay for a couple of weeks ahead, but not for much longer.
And any chance I had of saving for the fine was dead in the water.
My degree course would have to come second, so that was out of the question now, too.
My sad little dreams of having an education, a good job, even a nice car, dissipated into dust.
But sitting around and sulking wasn’t for me. On my first shift back on Sunday, I had to get back into Kendra’s good books.
Right. I could do that.
And next… My pulse picked up, and I extracted my phone from my pocket. With my mind a whirlwind, I reread James’s message from earlier this morning.
Some worse than others.
Maybe I could cheer him up. I hit the ‘call’ button.
“Beth,” he answered instantly, and his voice was a balm. His scrummy tone, taking me from the stark hallway to a warm, safe place. To the car, at night, the windows wrapping around me in a bubble of calm. My panic ebbed.
“It’s good to hear your voice,” I said.
He paused, as of course he would, then, “Likewise. I’m glad you called. I was thinking, on Saturday, I could call you after I’ve been out in the cars. If you’re free.”
“Things have changed.”
“How so?”
“You know those test drives…” My two empty days yawned in front of me. Could I fill them with going to Scotland? Spend them with James? “I’m not working anymore.”
A short silence, then, “Come. Please. Stay with us at Castle McRae. It won’t cost you anything, and I meant what I said. I want to see you.”
“You really want me there?” An embarrassing neediness sounded in my tone.
I didn’t mean it to, but him saying the words lit me up.
I loved it when Mattie needed me for something, or when someone praised me at work.
James didn’t know me. Didn’t know what it was he wanted. But the effect was just the same.
“Yes,” he said simply.
I dragged in a breath made of anticipation.
My disappointment over the weekend evaporated, the lost money shifting to a niggle rather than a knife to my gut.
If James wanted to drive around the Highlands with me for two days, I’d do it.
I wanted more, though. Our friends were hooking up, after all, so lust would be in the air.
I hadn’t had sex in a really long time, and as I thought back on James’s form, his broad shoulders, and hard chest… He had blue eyes, or maybe green.
He’d know how to kiss. With looks like his, he’d have no end of women wanting a piece. But he wanted me.
“Say yes, Beth. Leave the rest to me.”
There really was no contest.
That night, I went home to my and Mattie’s place in Hotwells, finished my last paper for my maths study, then slept like a log.
No drive time required. Maybe it was the adrenaline crash from the stress of the day, but the only thing that disturbed my sleep was a dream of James that had me hot and bothered.
It happened once or twice more the closer the visit crept.
Mattie and I grabbed a ten-minute chat in the kitchen, and I made sure she didn’t mind me crashing her trip. In fact, my friend was more than happy to have me along. She was in the middle of a tough decision about whether she and Callum could work out, so providing moral support became my role.
On Thursday morning, the day before the Scotland trip, I drove my friend to work just after dawn—she wanted an early start in order to be home in time to pack. I’d washed and ironed all our laundry well ahead of time, so we were good to go.
“Can I ask a question?” Mattie shielded her eyes from the low morning sun. “With James inviting you this weekend, do you two… I mean, is this a hookup?” A flush came over her cheeks.
I grinned. I’d only ever known her to date one man apart from Callum, and she wasn’t so concerned about sex. I enjoyed sex, when the mood struck me, but didn’t bother with the dating. That held zero interest.
“I hope so.”
“That surprises me. I didn’t see him as the sort of guy to do that. He’s”—she placed her words with care—“a gentleman.”
I scrunched up my nose, slowing the car to a halt at a bus stop outside Mattie’s building.
“He’s easy to talk to, but it’s not like we’re friends.
We hardly know each other. I thought the car advice was a line, but now I’m not so sure.
” I slid her a glance as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “He’s a good guy, isn’t he?”
Why did I ask that question? With some people, it was obvious.
Mattie patted my knee. “Callum told me he considers James another brother. As Callum is the epitome of solid morals and as good a man as you could find, that will tell you everything.”
She went, and I called after her a promise to collect her later. Then I sat and mused over her hookup question.
I grabbed my phone and typed a message to James.
Can I call?
My phone lit up right away with his call. Video again. A thrill ran through me.
“Beth, is there a problem with tomorrow?” His worried gaze sought mine through the screen. Huh, so his eyes were blue. Thought so.
“Hi.” I gave him a big smile, and his lips curved. “No problem. I just…”
What the hell was I going to say? That I wanted to sleep with him and was just checking that he wanted to sleep with me, too, but that it wasn’t a date? Because I didn’t do that.
My strange feeling ramped up.
I knew my heart was scarred. Too many people had left me behind, there was little room for anyone else. Even with my best friend, who I kept safe by driving her around, I hadn’t let myself get too attached.
“…I’ve got a really busy day so I just wanted to say I’m excited about the weekend.” What a cowardly chicken I was.
The bow of James’s lips morphed into a true smile, and his eyes lit. He was outdoors, a high stone wall behind his shoulders. “I am, too.”
I huffed a breath. “Sorry, that’s no reason for a call.”
“It is. Where are you? I can see you’re in the car, but it’s seven in the morning. This isn’t one of your night drives, unless you’re just getting back?” He peered at the screen.
“No, I was thinking about heading out to my foster mother’s.” Well, shit. There I went dropping the foster mother bomb. All that ever did was provoke questions on what happened to my birth parents.
On cue, James stilled. His bright smile melted, and the background stopped moving. “You have a foster mother?”
“Uh-huh. Little Orphan Annie, here.” I gave a jokey sort of hand wave, but on the little inset screen, I could see my own face losing its humour.
Then he said something that had me sliding down in my seat.
“I am, too. An orphan, I mean. I’m not sure that word works when you’re an adult, does it?”
I gave a harsh chuckle as if that was a good enough answer.
We did that thing where we just watched one another.
The traffic rolled by outside.
I didn’t ask him about his dead parents. He didn’t ask about mine, and it was refreshing to not get the pity parade. This, right here, was why I liked him. He held back on nonsense space-filling chatter.
That we had broken families in common was…something else.
“What is it about you? I’m looking forward to seeing you so much.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
James bit his lip, and his smile crept back in. It felt intimate, like that smile didn’t come about often. Maybe he didn’t let it. The camera dipped, and I could only see the line of his jaw, clean shaven today. I wanted to hide my bashful face in my hands.
I could be way, way off, here. Except I didn’t think I was. I knew I found him attractive, but talking to him made me happy.
Fuck.
I was at severe risk of friend-zoning him before we’d even properly met. I needed to back off.
“I’m sorry, there I go making things weird again.”
“Tomorrow is marked on my calendar with a B,” he replied, the hint of Scottish in his accent sounding stronger.
A swooping sensation filled my chest. “B for Beth?”
“What else?”
He looked like he was about to say more, but the swoop in my chest changed, causing discomfort rather than pleasure. The connection building between us hit a blocker inside me, and where my pulse had raced, it now gave me a buzz of panic.
“I have to go.” I started the engine, glancing in my mirrors to check the road. “I can’t call tonight.”
“Then I’ll see you at Inverness airport.”
He would, I’d just have to arm myself against this new sense, this anticipation, as it felt far too much like hope and needed to go right back into its box.