Chapter 27
TWENTY-SEVEN
GREATEST ROMANTIC MOMENT
Beth
James clapped his hands once and gathered the attention of our friends. “If I could,” he said, sweeping a meaningful look around, “may I have the room?”
Then his gaze landed on mine, the intensity so overwhelming, I was his captive.
With a hushed, excited babble, our friends exited, Gordain leading Ella to the kitchens, and the rest going into the dining room.
Leaving James and me standing alone in the centre of the darkened great hall.
We’d been here before like this—the time when I’d visited him and he couldn’t talk to me. I’d named it my greatest romantic moment. I had the distinct feeling he was about to top that. An anxious pleasure curled inside me.
James advanced until we were almost head to head. He bent and laid a soft kiss on my lips, firelight flickering over his beautiful face.
Then he took my hand and knelt at my feet.
My breath came in a rush. James looked up at me like I was the living end.
“Throughout my whole life, I never hoped to be happy in marriage. Then you screeched into my life, and I haven’t hoped for anything but you since.”
I laughed gently, and he shook his head, his lips pressed in a tender smile.
“You showed me what I needed, outside of anything to do with inheritance or duty. I simply don’t want to spend another day not near to you, Beth. You are selfless, kind, and so beautiful. Marry me, please.”
Anything for him.
This wasn’t the plan, though, was it? He couldn’t marry me. A cruel voice whispered that this was a reaction to the drama, to the extreme circumstances he’d been through. A mistake he’d have to correct in time.
I hated the thought, the ache it made in the very centre of my heart. Worse, I hated that these ideas arose at all.
I trusted James. Cared for him. Needed him.
But I’d been here before. Like the doctor who’d informed me my grandfather was dead, or Belle who’d cried when she told me I’d have to move out, what if tomorrow he came to me with a sad expression? Told me he’d made a mistake?
I’d forgive him, and we’d settle on a more sensible path where I moved out of the way.
But I couldn’t deny him. Not for anything. I loved him with every ounce of my being and I wanted him. Even if just for a couple of days until he changed his mind.
It made the next part so easy.
My hands shook in his. “Yes.”
James dragged in a breath, and his happy smile made it all worthwhile.
He produced a little box from his pocket, opened it, and revealed a beautiful ring, a blue stone in the centre. It looked old, an heirloom, perhaps. He slid it onto my finger. It fitted, making everything worse.
Stupid, gorgeous ring.
I didn’t look at it too closely, not wanting the memory if I had to hand it back.
“Are you sure?” James whispered.
I tipped up my chin, and he stood then pulled me into his embrace. At least now I could hide my face.
I was sure, and the happiness outweighed the sadness by a thousand to one.
“Take me to bed,” I replied.
He gave a laugh, sweeping me into his arms.
He carried me up the wooden staircase that ran up the wall, and a whoop came from a number of doorways. Our friends, congratulating us.
I only hoped, if the worst happened, they’d forgive him like I already had.
The next morning, a knock sounded at James’s bedroom door. He’d been up a while, having brought me breakfast, though I couldn’t eat, and had gone for a workout with his friends. I’d begged off, pleading tiredness.
He knew something was wrong. He’d asked, but I’d succeeded in distracting him, putting my mouth on him until I’d made him delirious.
I needed to fix my head and banish the asshole demons that stalked me.
James loved me.
I loved him.
Why shouldn’t we get married? Why couldn’t I trust his words? The negative thoughts I’d had last night tormented me, and I had to work through this.
“Come in,” I answered from my perch on an armchair by the window. The views to the loch were gorgeous, though couldn’t quite hold my heart the way Belvedere’s did.
Mattie stuck her head around the door. “Oh good! You’re awake.”
She pushed the door wider and entered the room.
“Congratulations.” My best friend swept over and then gave me a hug. “Are you up for some wedding chat?”
Mattie loved weddings and had talked more and more about giving up her event coordinator job to become a wedding planner.
One of my first thoughts this morning, one of the few that wasn’t James-shaped, was how her mind would be working in overdrive.
Thinking on venues, guests, dresses… Holy fuck.
There was so much to do. I had no idea where to start.
I released her, masking my flood of emotions. “Sure.”
Mattie’s face shifted to her usual practicality. “Once again, with the truth?”
I loved my friend, but she saw too much. I leapt up. “Fine. But I need to move. Can we walk?”
Without question, Mattie led the way out of the room and to the great hall’s staircase. Beyond, the huge stone hall lay empty, and I shoved my hands into my pockets against the cold draught then trotted down the steps.
“Where shall we go?” I asked.
“All the males of the house went to the gym in the tower, I haven’t seen Ella yet, so we’re going to walk the hall while we talk.” She pulled on a ringlet of blonde hair. “It’s raining, and I’ve just had my hair done. I have no desire to get a soaking. Here will do.”
Mathilda stooped to throw a log on the fire, then set off on a slow walk around the medieval space, the heels of her smart boots clicking, marking our pace.
“How are things going with Callum?” I asked, gazing at the old stone floor. “You’re still here, so I’m guessing well.” I felt like a crappy friend for not calling her in the past few days.
“Well. Let’s just say yours won’t be the only wedding I organise in quick order.”
I raised my head. “What?”
Mattie held up her hand, displaying a ring. Now I looked closer at her, a new light illuminated her face.
“Callum proposed?”
“Yes! I would have waited for a little while to tell you, so not to steal your thunder, but the twins won’t shut up about it. They’ve already started calling me Lady McRae.”
Genuine happiness filled me. I’d already pictured my friend as the lady of the castle, and it suited her to the ground. My turn to hug her now. Her usual perfume, always present in our home and in her Audi, filled my nose.
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Then we have two weddings underway.”
Mattie moved on, and I followed.
Her expression turned expectant. “Well, aren’t you going to ask me then?”
I drew my eyebrows in. “Ask you what?”
“Your wedding will be first, so you need to do the asking.” She rolled her eyes. “Oh, Beth, you’re hopeless!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.
” I did, but my friend didn’t know how she was slicing me in two.
If the wedding didn’t happen, I couldn’t offer her the role of maid of honour.
I’d already steeled myself to the pity. But to have to have that conversation, to let her down when I knew how she’d adore the role…
Wait. What was wrong with me?
My friend watched me with increasing worry, and I struggled to explain myself.
“It’s just… What if… James could change his mind.”
Her gaze became resigned.
“No.” I held up a hand, my beautiful ring glinting, then glanced around and dropped my voice.
“Hear me out. There’s a good reason. James is about to inherit this huge house and estate.
A fricking palace. But in order to do so, he has to meet these eligibility rules. Being married is only one of them.”
Mattie’s wry look held. “And the other?”
“That the bride has to bring a whole load of money to the party. The woman he was supposed to marry told me. Because it would protect the estate, you know? Ready cash. This is why he’s supposed to marry someone great, not someone like me. He’ll lose everything—”
My friend shook her head. “Stop right there.”
“What?”
“Have you mentioned any of this to James?” She tipped her head at a narrow exit, hidden at the back of the hall. “He’s up there now, in the gym in the tower. Go and tell him you’re freaking out. Then come back to me, and we’ll start this conversation over.”
“I am not freaking out!” I squeaked.
“What’s happened?” A low voice came from the corridor behind the narrow, stone exit.
James emerged, wearing military shorts and a tight t-shirt. His dark hair was damp with sweat, and my gaze snagged on how his biceps strained his sleeves.
His face was stern. Like he wanted to end whatever had bothered me.
“I’ll see you later.” Mattie patted me on the arm, waved at James, then strolled away.
“I wish you hadn’t heard that,” I said to James.
“This is about the wedding?”
I nodded and he stalked over.
“Are you having second thoughts about me?”
Oh God. “No!” I drew a steadying breath. “But I know that you risk losing the estate if you don’t marry for money. Irene told me.”
Voices came from the corridor, and James took my arm. “Let’s go somewhere more private.”
He marched me back up the stairs and into our bedroom. Then he locked the door behind him and leaned back against it. “I knew something was bothering you.”
I retreated a few steps. “Well, obviously. I’m going to potentially ruin your life—”
“Beth! No.”
I told him what Irene had said. James’s face grew darker, and his brow crinkled.
“You’ve been stewing over this since yesterday?”
In comforting repetition, I twisted the ring James had put on my finger. Now I’d said it, a new level of insecurity revealed itself. One that was nothing to do with James and everything to do with me. “Are you annoyed at me?”
“I am. You thought all those things but didn’t have the courtesy to tell me straight.”
He snapped at me? I lifted my gaze and found his hot and angry. Wow. I didn’t know he had it in him to be so fierce with me.