Chapter 5
FIVE
CAMHANAICH
Ella
There was a peace to the morning, helped by the thick fog that cloaked the castle and grounds. It muffled my footfalls, enclosing me in a fluffy, if cold, cloud hug.
Seeing Taylor last night had lifted some of the pressure off me.
She’d felt desperate and reached for a desperate measure.
In many ways, I understood. The situation she was in with her father—a big deal in the US government—was yet another trap when we’d only just been sprung from the prison that had been our school.
She saw the marriage to my brother as a path to permanent freedom.
It didn’t mean I could trust her again, but we’d parted ways in a more civil fashion than when she’d arrived.
That wasn’t the only reason for my change in mood. Gordain had made a point of telling me he liked me. Then, a few minutes ago, he’d stared at my body like he’d never seen a woman before. Good to know I wasn’t the only one of us checking out the other.
Swear to God he’d blushed after I’d called him on it.
I chuckled to myself and picked up the pace, knowing he’d be hard on my heels.
Sucking in a lungful of damp air, I crossed the bridge over the river that fed the loch—invisible, thanks to the fog—and put my head down, flying along the road.
After a couple of minutes, two shapes loomed out of the murk—the huge, stone gateposts that marked the entrance to the McRae estate.
I slowed, debating which direction to take. The left-hand road went back along the loch to the village. Right went…I had no idea. I’d never taken it. Through a forest, that was all I could tell. Either way, I’d wait—
“Hey.” A warm hand took my waist and spun me around. Gordain grinned down at me.
I pressed a hand to my thudding heart, a thrill in my veins from his touch. “You made me jump.”
“You didn’t go slow.”
“I knew you’d find me.”
We eyed one another, and he stepped back. It was all I could do not to glance down at his body.
“I was trying to decide which way to go. And not get lost.” I tipped my head at the monoliths, not taking my gaze off Gordain.
“Let me choose? I’ve been running the same route since I was a lad.”
“You went jogging as a kid?”
“Something like that.” There was a little pause before he spoke, and it snagged my attention.
It felt loaded. If he wasn’t jogging, then he was…
fleeing? God, Ella! I almost laughed out loud at myself, at the drama I sought in everyone else’s lives.
What would Gordain be running from? I shook off the strange idea and scanned the invisible surroundings.
“It’s eerie, this light.” The sun tried to force its way through the mist. Not successfully.
“There’s a Scottish word for the morning twilight. Camhanaich.”
“Camhanaich,” I repeated the word back. Cav-an-ach.
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re half Scottish. Where’s that in your accent? James sounds Scottish every now and again. You don’t.”
“Beaten out of me at school.” It was a joke, but Gordain’s face lost its humour.
“Not literally,” I added then blew out a breath because I didn’t want to go there now. Not in this lovely moment. “I’ll work on getting it back just for you. Now, Highlander, choose our path. Lead the way.”
Gordain took the right, leading me along a track away from the road and into the thick pine forest. A dense canopy of trees hung overhead. We crushed pine needles under our heels as we ran, the smell heady. A hundred yards in, Gordain stalled to let me pass him so I took the lead. Setting the pace.
We didn’t speak, which suited me—the uphill gradient had my breathing laboured in no time.
After the terrain levelled out, I took more notice of my surroundings.
The sturdy trees. The occasional glimpse of an animal.
Amazing I could notice anything, seeing as my awareness of Gordain swamped my senses.
Then the forest thinned, ending.
“Where are we?” Breathing hard, I stopped at the edge of a well-managed garden—it could only be someone’s property, though I couldn’t pick out a building through the thick mist.
Gordain halted beside me, no sign that he was at all tired by the run. He placed a hand on his chest and rubbed, his gaze on the distance. “My destination, as a lad.”
“Is it a house?”
“Better. Want to see?”
I paused, glancing from him to the empty space. Excitement resonated in Gordain’s tone, just a trace, but I paid attention. Whatever this place was, it held importance to him. “Won’t the homeowner mind?”
Gordain shook his head and touched his fingertips lightly to my shoulder to propel me on. We walked over the grass. Somewhere far to my left came the sound of rushing water, likely the river that came out at the loch. Then the mist cleared, and the edges of a building appeared.
“It’s another castle,” I said, gazing up as two towers came into view, making up the corners of a hefty stone frontage. Symmetrical, with an impressive entranceway, it was a handsome place, much prettier than Castle McRae, though I didn’t like to say.
“It’s called Braithar,” Gordain replied. His hand still rested on my shoulder, heavier now, and his palm warm.
I leaned into the touch. “It’s beautiful. Who owns it?”
“Gordain! What are you doing here, lad?” boomed a voice from the entranceway. A man strode out, a huge giant of a Scot, of Gordain’s build but much older. “If you’ve come for a visit, your timing’s off. I’m heading out to help Marianne with the cattle down at the farm.”
“Nah, just out for a run.”
The man eyed me. “Who’s your friend?”
“Lachlan. This is Ella Fitzroy. Ella, Lachlan McRae. Cousin to my da.”
I shook the man’s hand. He beamed wider, his expression kindly. “Fitzroy, aye? As in James?”
“My brother. You know him?”
“I do. You’ve the look of him.” Lachlan clinked a set of keys in his hand. “I was glad to hear about his wedding and the bairn on the way. You must be over the moon.”
“So much. They’ll make great parents.” Some people were automatically ready for the role. I had no intention of having kids until I was at least thirty. Being an auntie, on the other hand, meant I’d get to spoil the baby.
How different that child’s life would be compared to ours. James and I had had the best start with wonderful parents, but it had all gone to hell after their death, with us being placed in the clutches of Richard.
I took a vow, there and then, to protect that baby at all costs. He or she would be loved and supported through thick and thin. Richard would never wield his brand of evil again.
As I’d become lost in the thought, Lachlan said something to Gordain about becoming an uncle, too—of course, with Callum and Mathilda due to be parents as well, he and I were in the same boat.
Then the older man took a step back. “Tell ye what, why don’t the two of you come for lunch tomorrow. We’ll be glad to know you better, Ella. That suit ye?”
Gordain and I exchanged a glance.
“I’d like that,” I answered for both of us.
Lachlan tipped an imaginary hat to Gordain. “Twelve hundred hours, airman.”
“Understood.” Gordain snapped a smart salute, and Lachlan walked away.
“Is Lachlan military?” I asked.
We turned, heading back towards the forest.
“No. But he’s close friends with someone who is.
The man who runs the helicopter training school out at Inverness airport.
He and Lachlan took me up the first time in a heli.
Before I decided to join the RAF.” Gordain shook his head.
A haunted expression ghosted over his features, and I immediately wanted to erase it.
Without thinking too much about it, I slid my hand into his and gave his fingers a squeeze. “Every time you talk about your job, you get the saddest look.”
He huffed but didn’t let go.
“I’m sorry for whatever it is,” I added. “I’m not prying, but if we’re friends, then I’m here for you.”
“I’m meant to be the one there for you, after everything you’ve been through,” he replied.
“We can be there for each other. Deal?”
Gordain broke the hold on my hand and drew me into a swift side-hug. It was meant in a friendly way, but I felt it all through me, missing it after it ended. I’d grown cold from standing still and I shivered.
“Deal. Let’s get moving again. Last one home cooks breakfast.” Gordain tapped me, then broke out into a sprint.
I grinned and took off after him. Not that I had a hope of winning. When I came to all things Gordain McRae, I was beat.
Ally appeared at the dining table just as we finished eating. He eyed the remainders of our meal and turned an outraged expression on his brother. “You ate without me? And bacon? You traitor. You never cook unhealthy foods for me.”
Gordain and I had fallen into talking on the final stretch of the run, and I tagged the castle before he remembered we were meant to be competing. He’d served up bacon sandwiches and a carafe of coffee half an hour and one short shower later.
We chatted just like when I’d been here before.
Best breakfast I’d ever had.
“Ella had years of missing out, she deserves bacon.”
“And I don’t? Even though I’ve had to put up with your miserable face this last month?” Ally grinned.
“Yours is in the kitchen.” Gordain rolled his eyes at his brother, the latter leaving the room. Then Gordain turned to me. “When we met Lachlan, and he mentioned James’s baby, something bothered you. What was it?”
I’d plaited my hair after my shower and reworked it now. These things always looked gorgeous on videos of other people doing it, but my hair was thick and usually just ended up in chunky, uneven curls.
I concentrated on twisting the ends into the band. “I was thinking how different things will be for James’s son or daughter. How they will grow up happy, you know?” Then, because I didn’t want to dwell on my past yet again, I switched the conversation around. “You’ll be an uncle, huh? Lucky kid.”