Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
CRASHING HARD
Scarlet
We kissed as we dressed, grinning and keeping close with little touches and rude grabs. Ally dropped to the couch, taking me with him.
“Stay here with me. Stay overnight in my home. I have things to talk to you about. About the bairn. Decisions you can help me work through.” He tucked a loose tendril of hair behind my ear.
Then he closed his eyes.
“I wore you out.” I pressed my lips to his eyelids.
His mouth moved in a smile, but no answer came.
I settled in his arms. After a minute, his chest rose and fell in sleep.
When we were having sex, I’d almost forgotten that Ally was in recovery from serious injury. His show of power fed the sheer neediness in me, and I had taken everything he was willing to give.
Now, he was crashing hard.
My mind couldn’t rest in the same way.
Taking care not to disturb him, I disentangled our limbs and stood. Ally shifted but didn’t wake, sleeping as solidly as he did everything else.
I considered leaving him a note, then chastised myself as he wouldn’t be able to read it, and I didn’t want a text alert to ring out in the room and bother him, so I grabbed the keys from a shelf in the hall and quietly closed the door behind me.
The car journey back to the castle only took a few minutes, but it gave me space to breathe. Ally had always made me feel too much.
I’d wanted him for so long.
I’d dreamed about what we’d just done. Once would never be enough. A problem when we both had vastly different life plans.
This would take a bit of processing. In the empty castle, I rattled around, finding my luggage where I’d dropped it by the door, and raiding the kitchen so we had food for the evening.
I paused at the stairs, wondering whether I should take anything for Ally.
Maybe a clean t-shirt? If he needed anything else, I could always come back.
I ran up the flight and entered his bedroom.
As soon as I did, I realised my mistake. I’d been in here before, and it had always been messy, with clothes strewn over his chair and cups littering his desk.
This space was a parallel universe.
Every surface was clear and polished. Stacks of t-shirts sat inch-perfect on his shelf, and faint but delicious aftershave hung in the air. Even his bed had been made nicely.
Bags from a children’s clothes store hung from his wardrobe door handle.
On his bedside table, pictures proudly stood. Two framed shots of the baby. The first on her own, and the second with him holding her and Wasp beaming at his side.
A cot, newly constructed with the plastic wrap still on the mattress, waited for its new occupant.
I knew he’d fathered a baby. Intellectually, that had sunk in, hitting me hard when I saw them together for the first time, probably more due to my own hang-ups than anything.
But now, I saw a family. A dad and his daughter. A new McRae.
The image I used to have of Ally—as the irresponsible, laugh-a-minute prankster, who’d lit me up by just being in the same room—evaporated. He still lit me up, but he’d changed completely.
He had a house, a child, responsibilities.
I had no idea where I fitted in, on, or against that.
Probably not at all.
Without questioning the urge, I snapped a picture of him with the baby, then tossed my phone into the depths of my bag, annoyed at myself, either for invading his privacy or for the strange, mixed-up myriad of feelings today had brought.
Grabbing him a shirt, I took everything I’d gathered to the car and returned to the loch house. I let myself in, trying to keep the keys from jangling and the door from slamming in the breeze as I closed it behind me.
“Scar? Fuck.” A clattering followed Ally calling my name, and I darted into the living room.
He sat on the couch still, but now had one boot on and one crutch at his side. The other had fallen.
Our gazes linked, and fear played out in his eyes and in the tightness of his jaw.
“You fell asleep so I ran back to the castle to get the stuff we’d need to stay here tonight.” I took a step towards him, feeling ten levels of shitty.
Ally closed his eyes then exhaled and dropped back on the cushions. “Good thinking.”
I moved in on him then knelt by his legs and picked up his foot, pulling off his boot. “I should’ve woken you.”
He didn’t answer, and pain bloomed in my chest.
Then I joined him on the sofa, taking a seat beside him. Leaning in, I nudged him with my shoulder. “You okay?”
“I don’t even know.” His arm raised, and he ran it around my shoulders, then he lay out, taking me with him.
I kicked off my shoes and went willingly into the hug.
“When I woke and ye weren’t here, I freaked out. I needed to find ye before ye left.”
He had been about to crutch all the way to the castle. It would’ve taken him ages. My aching heart bled. “Did you really think I’d leave you here? Just drive off and abandon you?”
Ally pressed his forehead to mine. “I cannae say my brain engaged at all. Just flipped.”
I gazed into his eyes. Turmoil and confusion stared back at me. With the lightest of touches, I brought my fingers to his cheek. Then I drew along the line of his scar.
“I’ve spent a month desperate to see you,” I said, tracing over his bumpy skin.
The damage came within millimetres of his eye.
How lucky that he hadn’t been blinded. I explored his temple and found a chunk missing from his ear.
Not wanting to hurt him, I used the barest pressure, but I needed to know every mark.
I’d already laid my hands on the puncture to his chest and the gouges on his biceps. I’d kiss every line and commit them to memory.
Ally let me explore, no answer to my statement.
“But I do have something to confess.” I drew back an inch and twisted my mouth. “At the castle, I went into your room. It was to get you a shirt. But I saw the baby pictures. And the cot.”
He watched me, then a gentleness came back into his gaze, the fear diminishing. “I wasn’t the only one who freaked out, then.”
I held my breath and extracted my phone from my skirt pocket. I showed him the picture I took of him and his daughter.
“I could’ve just sent it to you.” A smile joined his happy expression.
“Then there’s this.” I found the shot of him in a kilt, the one I’d taken ages ago. “I’ve had a crush on you forever.”
“That’s okay because so have I. On ye, I mean.”
I dropped the phone to the rug and frowned at Ally. “You knew I liked you when we were teenagers. Why didn’t we get together then? I made it pretty clear that I was into you.”
“Aye, but at that age, all I wanted to do was screw around. Same as you. If we’d have done that then, we’d hate each other now and we wouldn’t have this.” He gave me a tender kiss.
“And what is this? We already said we couldn’t really be friends. I guess it’s something else?”
“Something else,” he said, slowly, his tone ponderous.
“Yeah.” I chewed my lip, because there were a whole host of things that made that complicated.
“Why don’t we park that conversation for now? There are so many other more fun things we can be doing than getting hung up over labels.” He leered at me, and I couldn’t stop my laugh.
The heavy moment lifted.
“Okay. Sex-related question.” I got comfortable, propping myself up on an elbow. “Before, in Edinburgh, the idea of sex freaked you out. Today, that had gone. Why?”
Ally ran a finger over my collarbone and pulled aside my top, exposing my bra. He nudged the cup aside and thumbed my nipple. Then he made a sound of interest and leaned in and licked me. “I was supremely horny for ye. And I trust ye. It just took a little while to get used to the idea of this.”
The lick turned into a suck, and excitement zapped through my veins. Instantly, I was wet. Whatever this weekend was about, it was already the best sex I’d ever had.
I glanced between us. “Is this change permanent? I mean, can we do it again?”
“Really?” His lips parted.
“Yep. I want more. Now.” I rose and shed my top, my bra flying after it, cast to the floor.
Ally moved to sitting, a serious expression mixing with unrestrained need in his gaze. He slid his hands over the bare skin of my waist and cupped my breasts. I got busy with his shorts, finding his cock hard and ready.
This time, I wanted control, and I needed to come, fast.
I bent to grab the box of condoms from the floor, at the same time, kicking off my skirt and underwear that had only been back on my body for thirty minutes.
“Christ.” Ally held his dick steady for me, and I had him sheathed in seconds.
Then I straddled him. “Play with me.”
He licked his thumbs then got to work, stretching out my nipples in a way that went straight down to my core.
I sank onto him, and we both groaned.
“I’m going to fuck you slowly and thoroughly, because you make me crazy, and I think I’m addicted to your dick, and because this is a pretty good apology for running out on you,” I told him.
Ally made an indecent sound and brought his lips to mine. “This time, I’ll kiss you when you come,” he told me, his mouth on mine. “Keep staring at me like that.”
I did, gazing right into his eyes.
Then there were no more words, just sensual, rhythmic moves. We breathed together, me grinding down on his big dick. He rolled his hips, his hands exploring and teasing every part of me he could reach.
We came together, my orgasm triggering his, and we kissed through it, until the need to gasp and yell had us breaking away.
Then we stretched out and kissed some more, no space between our bodies. No burning need rising in me to jump up and skip out.
“So addicted to you,” I murmured against his mouth, my eyes closing of their own accord.
“Thought it was just my dick.” Wry amusement, and maybe pride, eked into his tone.
But I was falling, tumbling into a deep sleep.
Whether Ally slept this time, I couldn’t tell, but I knew nothing until he shook me, gently rousing me to a darkened room.
“Wake up, Scar.”
“Tell me why you call me that,” I mumbled, half awake.
He gave a short laugh. “Not today.”