Chapter 5
“Ican’t believe I slept with him. What was I thinking?” I paced around my hotel room, my phone pressed to my ear and my heart racing a mile a minute as I dodged the clothes I’d been meaning to clean up since I’d arrived and the suitcase that took up most of the available floor space. “I wasn’t thinking at all!”
Soft morning light filtered into the room, the type that I rarely saw because I didn’t normally make a point of getting up at dawn. Today, I’d made an exception to not be in Lewis’s bed when he woke up.
“Liv, honey, take a deep breath,” Ashley said, her warm, familiar voice coming through the line, a soothing balm to my frayed nerves. “I’m going to need you to start from the beginning. What exactly happened, and who’s the ‘him’ in this situation?”
I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. The memories of last night flooded back—the electric connection at the bar, the spark of chemistry, the way his touch set my skin on fire, the intimate conversation that led to us shutting the place down, and the searing kiss we shared on the street.
“The ‘him’ is Lewis Davies,” I said, my voice shaking.
“Isn’t he the one you had a poster of on your bedroom wall in high school?” she asked, a note of surprise in her voice.
I groaned, sinking down onto the edge of the bed. “Don’t remind me. This is a disaster, Ash. How could I let this happen?”
“Okay, slow down. What exactly did happen? How did y’all end up in bed together?”
I filled her in, starting from the moment I laid eyes on him in the crowd, the doubt that it could even be him. I mean, what were the chances that he’d walk into the same bar I’d be playing?
When I got to the part where he outright admitted that he wanted me and made me promise to go back to his hotel with him, she let out a low, amused whistle.
“A man who knows what he wants. Is it bad if I kinda approve?”
“That is not helping.”
I sat up and started wearing a path in the carpet again, too restless to stay still as I recounted absolutely everything.
“So what’s the problem?” She asked when I was done. “Sounds to me like you had yourself a magical night with a man you have chemistry with. I fail to see the downside.”
I gnawed on my bottom lip, my belly knotting with doubt. “The problem is I snuck out on him at sunrise, like some guilty one-night stand!” I said, the words rushing out of me filled with shame. “One minute I was blissfully tangled up in his arms and the next I was wide awake, completely freaking out about what this meant.”
“I’m sorry, go back. You did what?” she sniggered.
“Ash.”
“No, no. You don’t get to drop that in my lap and not let me react.” She laughed, the sound disbelieving. “Liv Monroe, the woman who hasn’t gotten out of bed before 9 AM since high school, got up with the sun to sneak out on a rock star she just had earth-shattering sex with.” She tutted. “I’m not sure if I should be amused or concerned. These two versions of you don’t align at all.”
I flopped backwards onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I know, I know. It was a cowardly move. But I freaked out!” My pulse picked up speed again just thinking about it. “All I could think about was how this might screw everything up. We have to work together now! What if he thinks I’m some crazy groupie?”
“Whoa, slow your roll!” Ashley cut in, her voice firm. “First of all, you are nobody’s groupie. You’re a talented musician in your own right and don’t you forget it.”
Her conviction bolstered me, quieting some of the self-doubt swirling in my head. I took a deep breath, trying to centre myself.
“Now, as for Lewis, did he give you any indication that this was just a casual hookup for him?”
I paused, thinking back. The way he looked at me. Like I was the only person in the room. “No… it felt like more than that. And the way he touched me, kissed me…” I shivered at the memory, my body lighting up all over again.
“Exactly. So give the man some credit. Maybe he’s just as nervous as you are.” Her voice softened, understanding seeping through. “Honey, I know you. It’s not like you to back down from what you want. You’re not a quitter and you’ve never been one to run from your feelings.”
Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, her words hitting a little too close to home.
“I know, but this is different.”
“How is it different?”
“I’m scared, Ash,” I whispered, my voice cracking.
“Scared of what?”
“Of everything,” I admitted, my voice small. “Of how this will affect our working relationship, of making a fool of myself, of getting my heart broken.”
“Oh Liv…” Ashley let out a long breath.
I sighed, collapsed back onto the mattress. “I can’t afford to get distracted by some guy, even if that guy is Lewis freakin’ Davies.”
“You won’t,” she assured me, her tone leaving no room for argument. “You’re Olivia Monroe, rising star and total catch. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her unwavering support. “You have to say that. You’re my best friend.”
“And as your best friend, it’s my job to tell you the truth. Even when you don’t want to hear it.”
I sat up, my brow furrowing. “What truth?”
“That you have a tendency to catastrophise. You let your fears run away with you. Remember when you were terrified to move to Nashville? You almost talked yourself out of it a hundred times.”
I bit my lip, the memory washing over me. She was right. I did have a habit of getting in my own way, of letting my doubts overshadow my dreams.
“But I didn’t,” I said softly. “I pushed through the fear, and I did it anyway.”
“Exactly. And look where it got you. On the verge of everything you’ve ever wanted.”
I took a shaky breath, trying to absorb her words.
“That was different.”
“It wasn’t.”
“What did you tell me when I was worried about hanging out my design shingle in Jasmine Bay?”
“No risk, no reward.”
“Exactly.” Her voice hardened. “There’s no reward without a risk so if you want that man, you’re gonna have to face a little emotional turmoil and uncertainty.”
A watery chuckle escaped me. “Using my own words against me, huh?”
“If the boot fits…” she muttered. “I’m not saying you should go declaring your undying love for the man. Lord knows it’s too soon for that nonsense. But don’t count yourself out before you even get to bat.”
“I know, you’re right. I just... what if I screwed everything up by running out on him like that?”
“Then you apologise and explain. He’s a grown man, Liv. I’m sure he can handle a little morning after awkwardness.” Ashley’s voice was gentle but firm. “The question is, what do you want? Do you want to explore this thing with him, see where it leads? Or do you want to chalk it up to a crazy night and keep things strictly professional?”
I gnawed on my bottom lip, considering her question. For a second, I lost myself in memories of the previous night—the way our laughter mingled together, the secrets we shared in hushed tones, the electricity that sparked between us with every touch. Could I really walk away from that?
“God help me, but I think I want to see where this goes,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s crazy and reckless and so not like me, but I can’t shake this feeling that it could be something special.”
“Then you owe it to yourself to find out,” she said, a smile in her voice. “But Liv? Promise me you’ll be careful with your heart, okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I promise.” I took a deep breath, resolve settling over me. “No more running. It’s time I woman up and face this head on.”
“Good, now…” She sniggered and I groaned. “More importantly… did you get a picture?”
“Picture of what?” I asked, playing dumb.
“Of him? You sneaking out? I’m not really sure.”
We both laughed. Then reality smacked me in the face, and all that confidence I’d found drained away.
“Oh god, I have to see him later today for an icebreaker thing.”
“Perfect timing then. Get it sorted before you head out on tour.” She missed the note of fresh panic in my voice. “Think you can keep your hands to yourself until then?”
“I make no promises.”
“Well if things do heat up again, at least make sure you have protection. Safe sex is great sex and all that.” I could practically hear her wink through the phone.
“Ashley Dawson, you scandalous woman!” I gasped in mock outrage. “Such a thing for an unmarried Southern Belle to suggest!”
“Pshh, you’re hardly a blushing virgin. And I’d like to keep you disease and baby free, thank you very much!”
We both dissolved into laughter.
“I needed that.” I sighed happily once I caught my breath. “What would I do without you, Ash?”
“Crash and burn, most likely.”
By the time we said our goodbyes, I felt lighter, more centred. Ready to face whatever came next.