Chapter 34
“The latest test results show that the cancer has progressed more rapidly than we anticipated.” Dr. Honeysuckle’s voice was gentle, but each word felt like a blow.
Mama’s hand tightened around mine, her weathered skin soft and familiar. I swallowed hard, my heart hammering against my ribs.
“I’m so sorry, but… we’re looking at a matter of weeks now, not months.”
Weeks?
Had I not been sitting down, I might have fallen. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not ever.
The sterile, antiseptic smell of the doctor’s office faded away as my mind spiralled. “How many weeks?” Mama’s voice was steady. She stared at the doctor, her face perfectly composed while tears started to burn in the back of my eyes.
“It’s hard to say exactly, but based on the aggressive nature of the cancer… I’d estimate four to six weeks, at most.”
Four to six weeks.
How could a lifetime be reduced to mere weeks? How could I say goodbye to the woman who had raised me in such a cruelly short time?
A lump formed in my throat and I pressed my lips together, willing myself not to cry. I couldn’t fall apart, not now. Mama needed me to be strong.
“What can we do?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “There must be something…”
Dr. Honeysuckle shook his head, a sad smile on his lips. “At this stage, our focus should be on keeping your mother comfortable.” He leaned back in his chair, his gaze compassionate. “I know this is a lot to process. Take your time, ask any questions you may have. I’m here to support you and your family in any way I can.”
Questions? I had a thousand, but they all stuck in my throat, trapped behind the lump of grief and fear. Mama squeezed my hand, drawing my attention to her. She looked at me, her green eyes filled with a love and serenity that took my breath away. “It’s going to be alright, Livvy.”
I wanted to believe her, but in that moment, with the weight of Dr. Honeysuckle’s words pressing down on me, all I could feel was a suffocating sense of loss. How would we tell Dustin? How could I go back to Nashville after she… and leave him alone in this town?
“Mama…” My voice broke, the tears I’d been holding back spilling down my cheeks.
She pulled me into her arms, comforting me. Our roles should have been reversed. I buried my face in her neck, inhaling the familiar scent of her lavender perfume. She stroked my hair, murmuring soothing words I couldn’t quite make out over the roaring in my ears.
How was I supposed to do this? How could I watch the woman who had been my everything fade away, powerless to stop it?
“Shhh, baby girl. It’s okay. Let it out.”
And so I did. In that sterile, impersonal doctor’s office, with the weight of our new reality pressing down on us, I let myself shatter in my mother’s arms. I cried for the future we would never have, for the memories we’d never get to make. I cried for the hole that would be left in my heart, a void that could never be filled.
“I’m here, Livvy. I’m right here.” Her words were a lifeline, a promise. “We’ll take this one day at a time, one moment at a time. And we’ll make every second count.”
Dr. Honeysuckle, who had been quietly observing our exchange, cleared his throat softly. “I’ll give you two a moment. When you’re ready, we can discuss the next steps, the support services available to you. There’s no rush.”
No rush. The irony of those words, in the face of the ticking clock that now governed our lives, was not lost on me.
* * *
Ashley’s smiling face greeted us as we exited the doctor’s office. She took one look at my red, puffy eyes and pulled me into a warm hug.
I clung to her. “It’s all fucked,” I whispered.
Ashley gasped, faking outrage. She pulled back and grinned at me. “Liv Monroe, did you just cuss?”
“Yes, and I stand by it.”
My mother chuckled, the sound so happy while the heavy weight of grief pressed down on my chest. How could she find humour in anything right now? How could she smile and laugh when we’d just been told she had mere weeks left to live?
A flare of anger sparked in my gut, hot and irrational. I wanted to shake her, to question how she could be so cavalier about her own impending death. But as quickly as the anger came, it fizzled out, replaced by a sickening wave of guilt.
What right did I have to wallow, to rage against the unfairness of it all, when she was the one living on borrowed time?
“Liv, honey?” Ashley’s gentle voice pulled me from my spiralling thoughts. “Why don’t we get your mama settled in the car? We can talk more on the way home.”
Home. The word felt hollow, empty. What would home be without Mama’s warm presence, her infectious laughter? And Dustin… my heart clenched at the thought of my baby brother, left alone in this gossipy little town, with no one to lean on.
Mechanically, I helped Ashley manoeuvre Mama’s wheelchair towards the car, my mind a million miles away. Could I really go back to Nashville after all this?
As we made our way outside, a grin overtook Ashley’s expression. “You’ll never guess who Myrtle Hawkins saw sneaking out of the Johnson’s barn last night.”
Mama chuckled, a spark of her old mischief flickering in her eyes. “Let me guess… Sadie-Mae and that no-good Christopher Harris?”
Ashley gasped, a hand flying to her chest in mock scandal. “Why, Mrs Monroe! How ever did you know?”
Their laughter, warm and familiar, washed over me like a soothing balm. For a moment, the weight on my chest eased, the knot of grief and fear loosening just a fraction.
As we turned the corner into the clinic parking lot, a familiar figure caught my eye. My breath hitched, my step faltering.
For a second, I thought I was imagining things. But Lewis kept coming towards me, striding down the street towards us with purpose. His bodyguard trailed after him, a perplexed look. Then Lewis started running. Concern etched on his handsome face.
“Liv? What’s wrong, cariad?” His rich, lilting voice washed over me. He pulled me into his very real arms and the dam broke.
Tears spilled down my cheeks in hot, unrelenting streams. A sob tore from my throat, raw and guttural. All I could focus on was the solid warmth of Lewis’s arms as they wrapped around me, pulling me into his embrace.
I buried my face in his chest, my fingers clutching at his shirt as if he were my only lifeline in a stormy sea of grief. He held me tight, one hand stroking my hair, the other rubbing soothing circles on my back.
“Shh, cariad. I’ve got you. Let it out,” he murmured, his lips pressed against my temple.
And so I did. In the middle of a parking lot, with my mother and my best friend looking on, I fell apart in Lewis’s arms. Great, heaving sobs wracked my body, my tears soaking into his shirt. All the fear, the anger, the overwhelming sense of loss poured out of me in a torrent of anguish.
Through it all, he held me. He didn’t try to shush me or tell me it would be alright. He just let me cry, his strong arms anchoring me, his steady heartbeat soothing against my cheek.
I’m not sure how long we stood there, but eventually, my sobs subsided, tapering off into shuddering breaths and hiccupping sighs. Reluctantly, I pulled back, swiping at my tear-stained cheeks with the back of my hand.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice hoarse and small.
Lewis cupped my face, his thumbs gently brushing away the last of my tears. “You have nothing to apologise for, Liv. I’m here for you, always.”
“But the tour, the band… won’t they be furious?”
“None of that matters, Liv. Not compared to you.” He shook his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “The band understands. They practically pushed me onto the plane themselves.”
I searched his face, looking for any hint of hesitation or regret. But all I saw was love.
“My tech is going to step in for a couple of shows, and we’ll play it by ear from there. But Liv, listen to me…” He took my hands in his, his gaze intense and serious. “You’re my top priority right now. Nothing else comes close. So don’t worry about the tour, okay?”
How could I not worry about it? But what if he regretted this? What if he resented me for pulling him away from the tour? What if the band blamed me for his absence? I couldn’t bear the thought of being the reason for any friction between them.
“I don’t know if I can handle it if you change your mind again.” My voice trembled and I hated it. “I’m barely holding it together as it is, and if you leave…”
“I’m not leaving, Liv.” He shook his head vehemently, his grip on my hands tightening. “Not unless you tell me to go. I’m in this, all the way. I know I’ve given you reason to doubt me in the past, but I swear to you, I’m done running from us.”
I searched his eyes, wanting desperately to believe him. “What if the press finds out? What if they start hounding me and you freak out?”
Lewis sighed, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand. “I won’t lie to you, I’m nervous. They will find out, and they will make a big deal out of it. But I’m not going to let the fear of them come between us, not again.”
“I want to believe you. I do. But I’m scared that it’ll all be too much, and you’ll realise that I’m not worth the trouble.”
The words burned in my throat, the vulnerability of the admission making me feel raw and exposed. But he merely pulled me closer, his forehead resting against mine.
“You are worth everything, Liv. Everything. I’m not going to run, not this time. I’m here, and I’m yours, for as long as you’ll have me.”
“Lewis…” I swallowed hard, my heart too full for words.
Before I could say more, a voice called out from across the parking lot. “Well, if it isn’t the happy couple!” Hattie Mayfield walked towards us, a beaming smile on her face. “I see you found her.”
What on earth?
“I just had to come and offer my congratulations, you two,” Hattie said.
“But how…”
“How did I know?” Hattie grinned at my nod. She hooked a thumb at Lewis. “This one has been all over town calling your name and telling anyone who’d listen that you’re his wife.”
A crowd started forming, full of familiar faces who had watched me grow up. They stood across the road, keeping a respectful distance, but most definitely listening to every single word we said.
I stared at all of them, my eyes widening as it sunk in. “You… you told people, the entire town we’re married?”
He nodded, a sheepish grin on his face. “I might’ve been a bit overzealous, but I needed them to know. I needed you to know, without a doubt, that I’m all in. That I’m not hiding or holding back anymore.”
“But what about the press?”
“I already told you, cariad. I’m doing everything I can to not care about the press.” He reached for my hand and pulled me back into his arms. “I just want you. All of you. Publicly.”
The crowd awwed and whooped, making me chuckle, but Lewis grimaced.
“I’m sorry I went and outed us to the whole town without consulting you but I needed you to believe me.” He pulled me closer, his forehead resting against mine. “I love you, Liv. I love you so damn much. And I don’t care who knows it.”
Tears pricked at my eyes again, but this time, they were tears of joy, of love so fierce it stole my breath.
“Well, if that isn’t the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen,” Mama Jo said, her voice thick with emotion. “You two are gonna make it, I can feel it in my bones.”
A chorus of agreement rose from the small crowd who beamed at us. I looked around at the faces of my friends, my family. At the man who held my heart in his hands, who had travelled across the country just to do the one thing that scared him the most.
Hattie’s gaze dropped to my ringless finger. “Best fix that if I were you. There are far too many people in this town who’d gladly sweep him out from under you.”
I caught sight of Sadie-Mae at the edge of the crowd, her eyes fixed on Lewis with a predatory gleam. Lewis followed my line of sight, his body tensing as he spotted her.
He leaned in close, his breath tickling my ear. “I don’t trust that woman not to try something.”
A laugh bubbled up in my throat, despite the gravity of the moment. “Worried she’s going to steal you away?”
He huffed, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Hardly. I just don’t want there to be any doubt in anyone’s mind that I’m yours, completely and utterly.”
I smiled, my heart aching with love for this man. “Well then, I guess we better make it official. But let’s do it at home, just you, me, and my family.”
His eyes softened, a tender smile playing at his lips. “I like the sound of that.” Then he sighed. “And while we’re at it, I’ll call Carly and give her the heads up before she tries to castrate me for blindsiding her again.
“You didn’t tell your publicist that you were coming here? That you were going to out our relationship to the town and by default the world?”
He grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t want her to try and talk me out of it. You know how she is, always worrying about optics and media narratives.”
“She’s going to be furious.”
He took my hands in his, his gaze unwavering. “I know. And I’m sorry for any chaos this might bring to your doorstep. But I’m not sorry for doing it. I meant what I said—I’m all in, consequences be damned.”
The sincerity in his words, the determination in his eyes… it stole my breath. This was a side of Lewis I’d never seen before, a man so certain of his love, so ready to fight for it.
“You really mean it, don’t you? This isn’t just some fleeting moment of madness?”
He cupped my face, his thumbs stroking my cheekbones. “I’ve never meant anything more in my life. I love you, Liv Monroe. I love you in a way I didn’t know was possible. And I’ll spend every day proving it to you, if that’s what it takes.”
Tears pricked at my eyes, my heart so full it felt fit to burst. “I love you too, Lewis. More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”
He smiled, a bright, beautiful thing that made my knees weak. “Then that’s all that matters.”
“Well, I’d say there’s one more thing,” I smirked when his smile fell.
“What?”
Despite all the pain swirling about inside of me, a smile curled my lips. “Whether Carly lets you live once she finds out. Please can I be in on that call?”
He shook his head at me, but he couldn’t stop his smile. “Anything you want.” He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead before pulling back, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Now, I believe we have a ring to retrieve and a publicist to call. I expect we’ll have a pack of press vultures camped out on your lawn by morning.”
I groaned. “I suppose that’s a small price to pay for winning all of you.”
His grin widened, his arms tightening around me. “The smallest.”
We stood there for a moment, wrapped in each other’s embrace, the rest of the world fading away. But there was one last thing niggling at the back of my mind, one last doubt that needed to be voiced.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, cariad.”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “What happens when the day comes that you’re ready to hang up your guitar? When the rock star life loses its lustre and you’re ready to settle down? Will you still love me then, when I’m the one on stage and you’re the one at home, waiting for me to return?”
His expression softened, a tender smile playing at his lips. “I’ll love you until my last breath, no matter where life takes us. Whether I’m by your side on stage or cheering you on from the front row, my heart is yours. Always and forever.”
My vision blurred with unshed tears. “You promise?”
“With everything I am.” He brushed a kiss across my knuckles, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’m in this for the long haul, Liv. Through the good times and the bad, the ups and the downs. I’m yours, in whatever capacity you’ll have me.”
I surged forward, capturing his lips in a searing kiss. He responded instantly, his arms banding around me, his mouth moving against mine with a fervour that left me breathless.
In that moment, with the man I loved in my arms, and this newfound certainty that no matter what happened in the next few weeks, I would always have him, I felt invincible.