Chapter 1 Ford
ONE
FORD
The bar outside of Saddlehorn is busy tonight.
There’s a bachelorette party at the bucking bull; I’m pretty sure they’re staying at the multi-bedroom cabins on the ranch, though I’m not sure.
Especially because we see a lot of parties and groups come through Wild Vista Ranch.
They might be vaguely familiar faces, but they all end up blending together, eventually.
Except for one.
I tip my hat at my brother as he enters. He doesn’t work at Wild Vista like I do, instead choosing to live on the road. Pretty sure he’s leaving Texas soon for a gig on a ranch in Colorado.
“You’re brooding more than you normally do,” Tucker says, pulling up a stool beside me at the bar.
He nods to Sheila, the ever-present, unmoving bartender that’s been here longer than anyone, who gets him an identical beer to my own.
“What happened while we were in Vegas? You haven’t been the same since. ”
“Your friend conned me out of nearly a grand,” I mutter, tipping the bottle back. Warm beer runs down my throat, making me grimace. “Can’t say I’m too fond of him right now.”
Tucker snorts as he drinks from his own bottle. “Doubt that’s what’s making you look like you’re ready to run. You also have plenty of cash,” he replies with a half-smile. “So, what is it? You meet a girl there?”
I tense, which only makes my baby brother laugh. He can read me better than just about anyone. Our cousin, Austen, likes to joke that we must have been born twins. Except it only goes one way: Tucker can read me, but I can’t do the same to him.
“Knew it.” He claps me on the shoulder with a shake of his head, laughing still. “So, what’s her name?”
I heave a breath, scrubbing a hand down my face.
“Olivia.” I set the bottle down on the bar top and cover my ring with my hand before he can notice it.
Eventually, he’ll figure it out, but it’s a secret I want to keep, even for just a little longer.
I’d woken up with the cheap band the morning after, and although I don’t remember much, it’s clear enough what happened.
“That’s all I know, though,” I add.
Tucker hums something under his breath as he finishes off his drink, pushing it across the bar top with a knowing smile. “Doubtful.”
“Are you just here to deny everything I tell you?” I ask, finally looking at him. He’s almost a spitting image of me, except younger and a little brighter. Rather than the dark hair I’ve sported my whole life, he’s blonde.
“I mean, you are in denial,” he replies, pointing a finger at me, smirking. Dimples appear, the same ones I have. “So, you have more, then, I guess?”
I snort, toying with the label on the beer bottle. “She’s the same woman,” I tell him with a shake of my head. “I’d put my life on it. I knew the moment I saw her it wasn’t the first time I’d laid eyes on her.”
The smile drops from Tucker’s lips, his brows raising in doubtful shock. “You sure?”
I glance at him warily. “Did you miss the part where I said I’d put my life on it?”
Even my heart is eerily sure. One look, and I knew.
The woman from the casino is the same woman from the bar outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico.
The same woman who made me feel more alive than I ever had before.
The one who picked my cowboy hat right off my head and kept it on the entire time she was on the back of a bucking bull.
This bar reminds me a little of that one, including the roaring bull in the back and the music loud enough to drown out the whirling engine. That night is shadowed by whiskey and bad choices, but I also won’t forget it, either.
Tucker and I had been there for a rodeo, back in our days bull riding, when we still had the bodies and minds to do it. It’d started off like any other night, but it hadn’t ended how I’d expected, with her in my arms in the back of Tucker’s truck, fucking under the stars.
Tucker sits back, running a hand down his face. “Alright. So, you confronted her? Or…”
“Worse.” Heart pounding, I hold up my hand for him to see the shitty, cheap ring. “I accidentally married her.”
I don’t remember that much from Vegas, but to confirm my suspicions, I’d searched the Nevada records for our wedding certificate. And sure enough, I married her. Olivia Harrison. Woman of my dreams and the one I can’t find anywhere.
My brother stares at the ring for a long moment before whistling. “Yeah, okay. That explains the brooding. Why?”
I nod to Sheila to bring us another round as I rest my forearms on the bar top. “I don’t know.”
“Bullshit,” he says, taking the new beer with a smile and a thanks. “You’ve been obsessed with her for, what, two years now?” he asks, looking at me.
I sigh, closing my eyes. She appears in my mind like a ghost, hauntingly beautiful and just out of reach. “Yeah, well, let’s just say things got out of hand in Vegas. I don’t remember much, other than seeing her, sparks flying, and maybe Elvis.”
“You got married at one of those cheesy Elvis chapels?” Tucker asks, staring at me like I’ve just grown an extra head.
“That’s what you’re worried about?” I reply.
He shakes his head again, takes a swig of beer, then shakes it another time like he’s trying to knock some sort of sense into his own brain before replying. “Sure as shit didn’t see that coming.”
“I want to find her,” I tell him quietly, leaning closer. “I don’t want to let this one go.”
He spares me a look like I’ve gone crazy. “Brother, are you sure she even wants anything to do with you? The next time you see her, she might be asking for an annulment. She could be bad news. Digging for something neither of us want found.”
I stiffen. I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe I got too caught up in the fantasy of ‘what if she wants what I want?’ and didn’t think any further than my own desires. Not the rejection—or the possibility she’s a ghost from a past I refuse to return to.
Sitting back, I glance down at the ring, feeling my heart warm with absolution. “Shouldn’t I find her, though?” I ask carefully, took to him from the corner of my eye. “Shouldn’t I show her I can be her husband?”
“You don’t even know her,” Tucker replies with a sigh. “Seriously, Ford. Stop thinking with your dick for a moment. For all you know, she isn’t the woman from the bar. She’s just someone you wish she was. And is that fair to either of you?”
My stomach sinks as I stare into my reflection at the bar back. The old, unpolished mirror warps my features into something I don’t recognise.
Maybe I am trying too hard for a woman who might not be the one from before.
Maybe she’s not the ghost of my past I want to revisit, but a nightmare waiting to happen.
And yet…my heart tells me that isn’t the case. It’s my heart that yearns for just another glimpse, a hint of hope, a flash of what could be. Like Vegas was just a stepping stone to what could be.
But I know Tucker will never understand. My brother gave up on romance a long time ago.
“You’re right,” I mutter, finishing my beer. “She’s just a stranger I need to forget.”
For his sake, he doesn’t need to know I won’t stop trying. Not until I see her again and know the truth.
Is she the woman from the bar? Or is she from a past I’ve done everything to forget?