Chapter 5 Ford
FIVE
FORD
Shock flickers in Olivia’s eyes as I pull out our breakfast. “When did you have time to do all this?” she asks quietly, staring at the plate of pancakes I pull out.
I shrug. “I get up early every day. Managed to get a friend to take over for me, so I used the extra few hours to cook.”
“You cook?” she says in disbelief, brows rising.
I can’t help but chuckle. “Don’t sound so surprised.”
Red darkens her cheeks as she ducks her head. “Sorry.”
Shrugging, I pull out all the fixings: bacon, whipped cream, maple syrup, chocolate drizzle.
All the things you can’t go wrong with. I set them out around the plate between us, creating a boundary for myself not to cross.
Not because I don’t want to; everything within me screams to get closer, to make some sort of move that’ll help her decide.
But I saw the uncertainty warring in her eyes earlier, and I know every attempt I make will be met with resistance. The last thing I want is to push her away.
“We didn’t get to have those pancakes,” I murmur, setting a few on a plate for her.
Her gaze flickers to mine, something shifting within them, something I can’t read. “No, we didn’t.”
I can tell there’s something she isn’t telling me, a real reason why she can’t commit, why she doesn’t want this to be more difficult.
And I’m determined to figure out what.
With breakfast finished and packed away, I lean back and observe her. Olivia watches the waterfall like it has the answers to all her questions, and I watch her like she’s the answer to my prayers.
Sunlight filters through the trees, hitting her like a halo and turning her hair from dark brown to mahogany. Her skin glows, full of colour and life.
I can’t get it out of my head that she’s the one from before and not just Vegas. It might be her smile or the way she laughs. It reminds me too much of the woman on the bull, the moment she stole my hat—my heart.
“You’re awfully quiet,” I say, keeping my voice low.
She hums under her breath but finally looks at me, gaze soft. “Just thinking.”
“Hopefully not about leaving,” I joke, sitting up. “I still have more planned.”
Olivia rolls her eyes, smiling. “Well, I promised you the day.”
She doesn’t sound all too disappointed about that. “You ever have dance lessons?”
A frown forms on her lips as she watches me stand. “Dance lessons?”
“Yeah.” I offer her my hand. “You know, line dancing. The fun kind.”
For a moment, she hesitates, but eventually slides her hand into mine. It’s soft compared to my calloused palm, so much smaller than my own. The need to protect her and make this work kicks in tenfold as I help her stand.
“No, I don’t know how to dance or anything like that. Well, I can dance. But not…that.” A flush colours her cheeks and she ducks her head.
Chuckling, I grab the basket and the blanket. “Well, today is your lucky day. They’re holding lessons at the Shed, and I was able to get us two spots.”
“Let me guess,” she says as we start down the trail. “Because we didn’t get to have our first dance?”
“See, you catch on well,” I reply, grinning.
God, she has my heart racing in ways no other woman has ever made me feel.
By the time we make it to the truck, it’s already after nine.
Anxiety swells within me. I might have all day to make her stay, but whatever holds her back has her wound tighter than a bull at a rodeo.
I want to ask more about it, but I have a feeling she won’t budge, even if I get on my hands and knees to beg.
Now, I’m not beyond doing that. But I have no desire to push her away.
I just need her to trust me.
Opening the door for her, I keep hold of her hand as she slides into the truck. “Ask me anything,” I tell her, leaning in. “Anything at all. I’ll give you all my deep, dark, dirty secrets.”
Olivia rolls her tongue in her mouth, looking like she doesn’t believe me. “Anything?”
“Yes, m’am,” I murmur. “Anything at all.”
She runs her gaze over me for a moment before sighing. “Why were you in Vegas?”
“Because a friend wanted to gamble after a bad bout of lady troubles, and he took about a grand from me,” I reply easily. “That’s why I was roaming the casino floor. And that’s when I saw you.”
The corners of her lips quirk with a smile she tries to suppress. Rolling her eyes, Olivia sits back. “Are there any other women in your life?”
I hesitate. “There is one,” I admit, watching her expression. “Although I don’t think she’ll be a problem.”
“If you’re waiting to get a reaction out of me by saying it’s your mother or sister, forget about it,” she mutters.
I chuckle, pulling back. “No, not that at all. My mother died a long time ago, and I have no sisters. Only the boys left in my family, sadly.”
Olivia stiffens, though she quickly brushes it off. “Alright. This lady friend, then?”
“It’s nothing,” I tell her, shaking my head. “An old vendetta.”
“Oh, so there’s a woman you have beef with then,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Perfect.”
“Why’s that?” I ask, genuinely curious. I can’t tell if there’s jealousy hidden in her words or something else.
When she looks at me, I can’t read her expression at all. “Tells me you have unresolved feelings for someone. Maybe you’re not as invested in this marriage as you say you are.”
I rear back in surprise. “What?”
She nods seriously. “I watched this happen with my cousin,” she explains, a hint of sadness entering her tone.
“Her fiancé had this woman he claimed he loathed. Called her all sorts of names. And the week we were in Vegas on her bachelorette trip—that’s why I was there—he cheated with that woman he hated oh so much.
” Olivia shakes her head sadly and sits back.
“Passion comes in different ways. Most of the time, men don’t know the difference in the way it feels. ”
“I’m not most men,” I growl. “And I happen to know for a fact that won’t ever be the case between us.”
“That’s easy enough to claim now, but it’s not a promise you can make.”
I grit my teeth, taking in the way she wrings her hands, the droop of her shoulders. “Is that the reason you’re so insistent?”
She snorts and shakes her head. “No. It hadn’t even crossed my mind.” Her gaze flickers to mine. “Don’t we have dance lessons?”
I curse under my breath, close her door, and rush around the truck. “Shit.”
We’re going to be late. Fuck me.
I pull out of the small lot and get on one of the roads that cut through the ranch. “You have any more questions for me, darlin’?”
“I thought that conversation would have scared you off,” she laughs, crossing her arms. “Okay. Well. Children. Do you want them? Do you…have any?”
I shake my head. “Never thought much about kids. Although, when I do, I’m not sure I’m the kind of man who could be a good father,” I mutter, hands tightening on the steering wheel.
“But if I have the right person by my side and a stable gig, maybe. Can’t really raise kids in the employee lodging here on the ranch. ”
“But do you have any?” she reiterates, leaning forward, observing me.
Again, I shake my head. “No, why?”
Olivia sighs. “Just checking.”
“What, you don’t want them?” I ask, stomach dropping.
“Maybe,” she murmurs, though she doesn’t sound too sure about that. “So, you don’t want them, then?”
I spare her a look, but the Shed comes into view. There’re already cars pulling into the lot, and a small bus load of people entering the old barn. It sits between the main lodge and the Saloon, used for weddings and dances.
I pull in quietly and cut the engine. “I want what my wife wants,” I tell her finally. “But I don’t know if I’d be a worthy father.”
I have thought about it more than once, mostly when asked by older folk who like to pry. But every time I do, I wonder if I’d be any good at it with my past hanging over me. Would I be like the man I’ve escaped? With my refusal to accept that part of myself, could I ever offer a child a good life?
Olivia nods silently without responding. I jump out of the truck, round the hood, and open the door for her. “Let’s go, darlin’.”
She sighs, but she gets out. “You have way too much energy.”
“Just wait till you see what I have planned for later,” I say with a wink.
I have a plan to take her to the local bar for another ride on the bull.
As much as I think she’s her, I need to really get a feel for it.
Asking won’t cut it—there’s a chance she might not even remember the night, if how today is going is any indication.
But getting her on the bull might trigger a memory from that night, and I might finally know if she’s the woman who’s had my heart all this time.
The Shed is lit up with fairy lights, making the place even more magical. The tables and chairs used for weddings are pushed to the side, giving us more room to move.
I take Olivia’s hand as I guide her into the throng of people. Ahead, I catch sight of the activity’s coordinator, Cheyenne, in the background.
“I really don’t know about this,” Olivia murmurs once everyone is situated.
“Live a little,” I mutter, sliding in behind her as we’re told to partner off. “And trust me.”
Olivia looks over her shoulder at me, her lashes fluttering. There’s a soft flush on her cheeks, and when she bites down on her bottom lip, I feel my heart skip.
Fucking hell, she’s beautiful. More beautiful than the first time I saw her dancing away with my cowboy hat atop her head.
More beautiful than finding her in that crowd at the casino.
There’s just something wild and right about getting to experience this woman without the haze of alcohol controlling all my decisions.
Without releasing her, while country music plays in the background, I kiss her. At first, it’s light, just a test to see whether she feels the same. I might even say a little prayer that she’ll somehow remember me from before and all this will be easier.
At first, she meets my kiss with hesitation, but eventually she tilts her chin, deepening the moment. I swipe my tongue against the seam of her mouth, begging for entrance, praying a little harder for more.
My heart almost stops when she grants my wish. As soon as I slide my tongue into her mouth, everything within me explodes. With absolute certainty, I know this woman is the one I’ve been waiting for. There is no doubt in my mind.
But Olivia tears her mouth from mine with a gasp, eyes wide. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, pulling out of my embrace. “I can’t. I really cannot be doing this.”
She doesn’t look back as she flees the Shed, disappearing into the crowd, and taking my heart with her.