15. Chapter 15
Cole
Sadie was having second thoughts. That had to be it. Talking about leaving your whole life behind was one thing. Actually doing it—driving away with everything you owned in a rattling truck—was another. She looked about two seconds from asking me to pull over and let her run back to what she knew.
I tried to think of anything to say that might convince her we could work. Not just pretend, but actually thrive together. I didn’t want to scare her, though, so I kept it in.
I’d been trying not to think about the movie theater. The way she’d stayed tucked against me the entire time. Sure, she’d been sending the cubicle stalker a message—but my arms hadn’t known that. My arms had just known she fit there. And apparently, they had a good memory.
I squeezed her shoulder, trying to reassure her I had her back. She went tense, so I let go, putting my hand back on the wheel.
Asking if she was okay for a third time would be overkill, so I didn’t, even though I wanted to.
“Can we stop?” she asked. “I need to stop.”
Here it came. The meltdown. Was I ready for it?
“Sure,” I said, pulling over to the side of the road.
She unbuckled and leaned over Alyssa, opening the door before squeezing past her. Alyssa started to tip sideways, but the seatbelt caught her, and her head rolled toward the seat instead of out into the open air. Sadie climbed out and shut the door. I glanced at Alyssa. She hadn’t moved.
Sadie walked out into the desert with her hands on her hips. I frowned. What would I do if she kept going? She turned back and paced back and forth for a few minutes. Maybe she was carsick.
I gave her another minute, then got out and moved around the truck.
“You alright?” I called.
She turned and gave me a forced smile. She walked over and glanced at the dirt. “Sorry. It was a little crowded in the truck. I was feeling a little closed in.”
“Do tight spaces usually bother you?”
She took a deep breath and looked at me. “Not usually.”
“Are you sick? Dizzy? You looked like you were about to bolt.”
She gave a humorless laugh. “I’m fine. Let’s go.”
My eyes narrowed. “You’re not fine.”
She brushed past me. “I would be if you weren’t taking up so much space.”
I caught her wrist. “Sadie. What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her eyes lifted to mine. She stepped closer—close enough that I could feel her breath—then shook her head.
“I can’t breathe normally when I’m next to you.”
I blinked.
She opened the truck door and shook Alyssa. I couldn’t hear what she said, but Alyssa scooted to the middle of the seat. Sadie sat next to her and shut the door.
This was great. Now I could spend the next several hours wondering what she meant by all of that.
I got into the truck and turned to look at her. She was staring out the window. Alyssa looked as if she were only halfway awake and now had nowhere to put her head.
I put my hand on the steering wheel and stared out at the endless desert. This was going to kill me.
“What’s going on?” Alyssa asked. “Did you two have a fight?”
“No,” Sadie mumbled. “Go back to sleep.”
“In this position?” She looked at her sister. “You two did fight. I can tell by your face.”
Sadie peered at her. “We didn’t fight.”
“Then why do you look like you’re going to blow up? That’s the look you get before you lose your cool. Just because it doesn’t happen often doesn’t mean I don’t remember.”
“I’m fine,” Sadie said through gritted teeth. Then she looked over at me. “Drive.”
I didn’t dare disobey, so I pulled onto the highway.
She couldn’t breathe when she was next to me. How did I process that? Was she saying she was attracted to me? Because if that were it, she definitely didn’t need to keep her distance. Now my heart was thudding in my head.
I glanced at her and caught her eye. She looked the other way.
“Does anyone else feel awkward right now?” Alyssa asked. “Because I’m sure feeling some tension in here.”
Sadie chewed her lip and ignored her sister. I stared ahead.
“Should we all share feelings or something? I mean, I can’t tell whether you two want to smack each other or make out, but something’s going on. It feels like someone might explode.”
“Alyssa, stop,” Sadie muttered.
Silence filled the cab.
Alyssa huffed. “Wow. Okay. I’ll just sit in the middle of whatever this is and try not to die.”
I couldn’t think of anything to say since I didn’t know exactly what was going on. We drove in silence until we pulled off for lunch.
Alyssa climbed over Sadie and jumped out of the truck. “That’s about all I can take of you two and your messy auras.”
I laughed. “Auras?”
“Yeah. How about I go in and order, and you two work out whatever this weird tension you have going on is?”
She hurried toward the restaurant.
I got out and walked around to Sadie’s side. She climbed down slowly.
“Ready for lunch?” I asked.
“Yeah.” She avoided my eyes. “Sorry I got weird. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“It’s fine. You’re leaving everything you know. That’s not small.”
She nodded, but her shoulders were still tight.
I leaned against the truck. “But that’s not it, is it?”
Her head snapped up.
I didn’t push closer. Didn’t touch her. Just waited.
She exhaled slowly. “You make it hard to think.”
My pulse kicked.
“In a bad way?” I asked carefully.
Her lips parted like she might answer. Then she shook her head and turned toward the restaurant. “Let’s just eat before Alyssa comes back out and starts conducting therapy sessions.”
I wanted to run up and stop her, but something told me to wait.
If I chased her right now, she’d bolt. Sadie didn’t look like someone running away from me. She looked like someone running from herself. Big difference.
So, I stayed where I was, leaning on the truck, watching her walk toward the restaurant. She paused at the door. Just for a second. Like she might turn around.
She didn’t.
I let out a slow breath and followed a few steps behind, not crowding her. Not touching her. Not doing anything that would make her feel trapped again.
Whatever this was between us—it wasn’t anger.
And it definitely wasn’t nothing.
I’d hoped to make the drive in one day, but Alyssa wouldn’t stop drinking everything she could get her hands on, and that made for a lot of rest stops.
I’d made some calls and found a vacancy at a hotel. I pulled into the parking lot, and Alyssa leaned over Sadie to see the building.
“Wow. We aren’t staying here, are we?”
“We are.”
“That place looks fancy.”
I climbed out and looked at the hotel. Maybe it was. I should probably cut back my spending habits. When Grandma stopped the monthly allowance, I’d just kept spending. Probably not the best idea. That’s why I’d been burning through my savings so fast.
I checked us in, and we walked over to our room. I slid the card key, and we entered.
“This is the nicest hotel I’ve ever seen,” Alyssa said, running over and flopping on one of the two beds.
Sadie didn’t say anything, but her eyes took it all in.
More guilt hit me as I realized how nice my childhood had been compared to some. I’d barely spent a minute recognizing how privileged I was, but seeing how excited Alyssa was made me want to show her and Sadie what comfort and stability could feel like.
Sadie went into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later in pajamas. She climbed into the bed next to Alyssa.
“Go change,” she told her sister.
“Alright.”
Alyssa disappeared into the bathroom.
Sadie took a deep breath and pulled the blanket up to her armpits. I moved over and sat on the edge of her bed.
She looked up at me. “Yes?”
“You’ve been wound pretty tight today.”
“A little.”
I smiled. “A little? I could feel the tension in the air. And Alyssa could as well.”
“Sorry. I’m not sure what’s going on with me.”
“What do you need?”
Her eyes scanned my face and landed on my lips. “I don’t need anything.”
I bent over her until I was only a few inches from her face. “But what do you want?” Why had that come out as a whisper?
Her hands went to my shoulders, and I pressed my lips softly to hers. It was awkward with her lying back like that, but my pulse kicked up anyway. I slid my arms under her and pulled her into a sitting position.
Sadie was suddenly on my lap, twisted in the blanket, and kissing me like she’d lost whatever argument she’d been having with herself all day.
I could handle that.
I pulled her closer, one hand at her waist, the other at her back, and tried to keep up. She wasn’t shy now. This wasn’t proving a point or winning a prank. This was hungry. Her fingers clenched my shirt, and she kissed me like she’d been holding her breath for miles.
I shifted my grip, steadying her on my lap before this turned into both of us falling off the bed.
“Sadie,” I murmured against her mouth, half warning, half question.
She only answered by kissing me harder.
“Can I come out?” Alyssa called from the bathroom. “It sounds questionable out there.”
We broke apart like we’d been electrocuted. Sadie slid off my lap and untangled her blanket, then scrambled back onto her pillow. I shot up and crossed to the other bed, pretending I’d never moved in the first place.
“Of course you can come out,” I called, aiming for casual and probably missing.
The bathroom door opened. Alyssa stepped out and looked between us. She crossed her arms and tilted her head. “I can’t leave you two alone for a minute, can I?”
I glanced at Sadie. She was breathing hard and trying to look natural. She was doing an awful job of it.
“You’re crazy, Alyssa,” Sadie said, her voice slightly higher than usual. “Come sleep.”
Alyssa narrowed her eyes but climbed into bed beside her. “Fine. But I’m not stupid.”
I grabbed my bag. “Goodnight,” I muttered, escaping to the bathroom before either of them could say anything else.
Sadie could deal with this one.