20. Chapter 20
Sadie
I stood in the Hart backyard with a bouquet in my hand.
It irritated my burn a little, but not badly enough to protest. Who needed preparation when you had the Hart family home?
Lights were strung across the back, and the flowers were breathtaking.
I guess that’s what having a gardener does for you.
I was also in a wedding dress. And it fit. Tiffany Hart really was a miracle worker. In my free hand, I was holding a ring for Cole. I had no idea where it came from, but someone had stuffed it into my hand. I hoped my heart wouldn’t give out, because it felt like it was trying to prove something.
Four women played violins off to the side.
Another Tiffany miracle. There was even a cake.
A wedding cake. How that was managed was beyond me.
There was no way someone could pull that off in less than an hour.
I pictured some poor baker frantically remaking a cake meant for tomorrow, his pockets lined with Hart money.
Cole stood across the yard from me, and I avoided his gaze. Tiffany stood beside him in a cream dress. Not white, but close enough. I didn’t care. She could have all the attention she wanted. I didn’t want anyone staring at me, wondering if I might throw up.
The Hart family filled the chairs separating the two of us. They faced him so no one was staring at me. There weren’t enough to create some grand aisle, but did that matter? Alyssa stood at the front, across from Cole. I was supposed to walk to her.
I could do this, I told myself, and measured my breathing.
Was Cole going to kiss me? Hopefully not like the hotel kiss. I couldn’t survive that right now. The thought of no kiss felt almost worse. We needed a wedding kiss. Small, but not so small that it looked like we weren’t invested. We should have talked about it.
Not that we’d talked about any of this. Did I let him decide, or should I decide now?
This could get messy. I didn’t want to be the person with the ugly wedding kiss. Not that Cole could make anything ugly.
The man performing the ceremony nodded at me, and the violin music changed.
This was it.
No turning back.
Cole
Sadie held herself together better than I expected. She looked beautiful walking toward me. She wasn’t looking at me, though. Her gaze drifted past my shoulder, her smile steady but tight. She was nervous. Probably rethinking every life decision that led her here.
We should have talked about the kiss. We’d had the soft first one. Then the competitive two in her apartment. Then last night—I didn’t even know how to label that one. It definitely couldn’t be like that. Not in front of everyone.
She reached me and handed her bouquet to Alyssa. I wondered if her burn still hurt.
The preacher started talking, and I tried to focus. It wasn’t easy. My brain wouldn’t slow down. What was I doing? Was I insane? Was Sadie insane for agreeing to this? Would she ever fall for me? Did the money matter that much?
The officiant paused and looked at me. I said yes. I hoped that was the correct cue. Something buzzed in my ears. I glanced at my siblings and their families.
No one looked judgmental. No one knew the truth.
Mom wore a wide smile. And was she wearing white? I was almost certain that broke some kind of wedding rule. She was usually the queen of etiquette.
Had Sadie said her part? For all I knew, she could have said no, and I just hadn’t processed it. But she was still standing here. Still holding my hands.
The officiant mentioned rings, and I slipped the solitaire onto her finger. It wasn’t simple at all. I’d borrowed one of her rings earlier and rushed out to make sure I got the size right while Mom worked whatever magic she’d conjured to pull this off.
Did he just say to kiss the bride? Why was I not paying attention?
Sadie tilted her head and lifted one eyebrow slightly.
I smiled. A real one. Then I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. Not dramatic. Not desperate. Just firm and steady. But it still felt like lightning striking straight through my chest.
My family clapped. I would almost swear Sadie smiled against my mouth. Probably wishful thinking.
I laced my fingers through hers carefully so I wouldn’t hurt the burn, and we turned to face everyone as they came forward to congratulate us.
Lainee hugged me, then Sadie. “I love getting new sisters. Welcome to our crazy family.”
Sadie smiled. “Thanks.”
Alyssa went and sat on one of the chairs. She kept sneaking me looks that made me wonder what she was thinking. She didn’t look upset… she looked suspicious. I was probably imagining it. What did she have to be suspicious of?
I bent down and kissed the side of Sadie’s face, just for good measure.
I didn’t know what most people said to us, and it wasn’t long until we were cutting the cake. I had no idea how Mom got a cake.
I put my hands over Sadie’s, and we cut a piece. Why were there so many weird wedding traditions? It was probably symbolic of something. I’d look it up later. Not that I didn’t like the feeling of my hands over hers.
“Is your hand okay?” I whispered.
“It’s fine,” she said.
I wondered if she was a smash the cake all over my face person. I hoped not. I was barely holding together.
She took a small piece and put it in my mouth. I did the same. Great. We were both mature. I let out a small breath.
Sadie went on her toes and kissed me softly. Was that part of the tradition? If so, I was all for traditions suddenly.
More clapping. I hoped we were done. I had definitely not seen the day ending like this. We separated, and Sadie talked to Alyssa while Grandma Vera cornered me.
“Hi, Grandma.”
She smiled. “Cole. Strange end to the day, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“You still let Tiffany run you over.”
“It’s fine. I’m glad to have it over with.”
“Over with?”
“You know what I mean.”
She glanced at Sadie. “She seems nice.”
“She is.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
I grinned. “Me too, since it’s done.”
“What now?”
“I might buy the house on Dax’s property.”
She nodded. “I like having all my boys back in town. Now if we could get Lainee to move back, I’d have all of you.”
“I hope she does. It might be a while if Cruz sticks to med school.”
“He will. He’s going to be a great doctor someday.”
We talked a little more, and I noticed Sadie looking a little panicked. I guess that’s what happens to liars; that’s why we were both about to break.
Her eyes caught mine, and they were pleading for something. To get away. She was done. Maybe more than I was.
I walked over, then turned to my family. “Thanks for getting this all together so fast,” I told them. “You guys are amazing. And Mom, you pulled off the impossible.”
Mom smiled.
“It’s been a long week, so we are going to tell you all goodbye.”
I took Sadie’s hand and spun her in a circle, then tossed her over my shoulder. Yeah, I know. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, but that’s what I did. I heard my mom protesting and Lainee giggling as I walked back to the house.
I opened the door and went in. Sadie was oddly still. I hoped she wasn’t terrified. If she started pounding on my back, I’d put her down. She didn’t.
“Alright?” I asked.
“Just admiring your back in a tux.”
I almost tripped, then went for confidence. “I’m glad I could give you a good view.” I carried her upstairs and into my room. There, I let her slide to her feet.
She took a breath and pushed her hair back into place.
“I’m sorry about how this all went down,” I said.
She stared at my shoulder. “It’s fine.”
“Is it?”
She nodded.
“We’re good?”
She leaned in, wrapped her arms around me, and rested her head against my chest. “We’re good.”
I let my hands lightly encircle her. “What happened to don’t make it real?”
She grumbled something.
“I didn’t catch that,” I teased.
“Good.”
“What do you need from me, Sadie?”
She pulled back and looked into my eyes. “I don’t know.”
I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Will you let me know when you do?”
She nodded, but stepped away. My arms felt empty.
I took off my tux jacket and bow tie and tossed them on the computer chair. I wished I’d taken down some of the football stuff before Sadie saw it. It was the room of an obsessed teen. I suddenly wanted her to see me as more than muscles and trophies.
I unbuttoned the top button of my shirt, then lay down on the bed, hands behind my head. I’d let her have the bed. It was huge, but I could take the floor. I just needed a minute to compose myself.
Sadie glanced over at me and frowned.
“Talk to me,” I said. I wasn’t even sure what I was asking.
She rubbed her arm. “I like you, Cole.”
That could mean so many things. I gave a tired smile. “I like you too.”
She sighed. “The last year has been intense. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for Alyssa.”
Including marrying me. She didn’t say that out loud.
“I’ve worked and worked, and struggled with how to pay the bills. I’ve told myself I’m strong.”
“You are strong.”
“Am I? The moment you offered me an out, I took it.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear this. The part where she said she wanted my money but not me.
She took a deep breath, and I worried she’d make herself lightheaded. She sat on the bed next to me and exhaled, then lay down beside me. “I’m worried you’re going to make me weak.”
My chest tightened. Weak wasn’t a word I’d ever attach to her. “How so?”
She rolled over and studied my eyes. “I feel like I could dump all my problems on you, and you would take care of them.”
“I would,” I said, absolutely meaning it.
“But that would make me weak. I can’t do that. When you put your arms around me, I feel safe. And I don’t know who I am when I’m not bracing for impact. I’ve been doing it alone for so long, I don’t feel like I should give in.”
“Sadie. Part of being married is sharing each other’s burdens. Let me help you. Let me make you feel safe.”
Her eyes turned down. “But that’s it. I don’t want to be your burden.”
“How about this? You dump everything you need to on me. I’ll do the same to you. When I need something, when I’m stubbornly trying to stuff away my disappointments, I’ll let you know. We’re a team.”
She looked back up. “Are we?”
“We can be.”
Her arm rested over my stomach, and she moved her head to my shoulder. “Can we be friends?”
It almost made me laugh. I wasn’t my brother Chance, who thought it was normal to cuddle with your best friend, who happened to be a girl. “Friends?”
She sighed and cuddled closer. “Friends first? See what happens?”
I kissed the top of her head. “Friends first.”