Chapter 16 #3
“Good Lord, the woman just found out they’re hers for sure,” Ida Belle said. “You might want to give her a minute to process. We haven’t even had a service for Eleanor yet.”
Guilt flashed across Mildred’s face. “I feel bad about that. People keep asking or hinting…but I just couldn’t work myself up to planning something with so much unanswered.
I know people will be asking questions about her death and Zion and who knows what else, and I don’t think I can take standing in a church for hours on end, saying ‘I don’t know. ’”
She sighed. “I guess I was hoping Carter would come up with some explanation—something that would explain the choice. Maybe then Eleanor wouldn’t look as bad as she does right now.
People are already talking about Zion and saying it was inappropriate because he was so much younger and she took up with him right after Jasper’s death.
They’d have a stroke if they knew she was carrying on with him before Jasper died. ”
“We can’t be sure of that,” Gertie said in what I assumed was an attempt to make Mildred feel better.
Mildred gave her a sad look. “I can. I was going through the desk in her room this morning, trying to find the paperwork on that darned microwave that keeps cutting out. I found credit card statements. She went to Zion’s retreat nine months ago.
And then again three weeks later, then every two weeks after that. ”
“I’m surprised Jasper didn’t say anything,” Gertie said. “That couldn’t have been cheap.”
“They had separate finances,” Mildred said. “Well, that’s not exactly correct. According to Mom, Eleanor’s money—which was basically trust money—was her money and Jasper’s money was their money. She always had her own bank account and credit cards in addition to their joint stuff.”
Ida Belle snorted. “I guess that’s a good deal if you can get it. Although I’m not sure how great the relationship would be.”
“I’m not either,” Mildred said and sighed again. “The more I learn about my sister, the less I think of her. That doesn’t mean I wanted her to die—”
“Of course not,” Gertie said. “You’ve just had an enormous amount to absorb and all while you’re still grieving your mom.”
Mildred shook her head and her eyes got misty. “I shouldn’t have stayed away. After my father passed, I should have moved back here.”
“To what end?” I asked. “Eleanor had control over the trust and therefore the purse strings. Given that, she also had the final say in everything to do with your mom.”
Ida Belle nodded. “And it’s not like good accounting jobs grow on trees around here. Besides, you had already made another life for yourself, and it was good for you to get out from under your father’s shadow. He cast a long one.”
“That he did,” Mildred said, her voice sad.
She was silent for a long time, then finally shook her head. “I’m not going to get anywhere dwelling on all this sadness and negativity. I can still mourn my loss but make plans to move forward with the rest of my life, right?”
“You not only can, but you should,” Gertie said. “Looking to the future, and keeping busy with the plans you’re making, is what will keep you from falling apart. Sitting and dwelling on things you can’t change and couldn’t control is the pathway to deep depression.”
She gave Gertie a strong nod, then straightened a bit as she looked over at Ida Belle.
“According to Eleanor, you were interested in buying the cabins at one time. If that’s still the case, we can talk about it.
I’m going to sell the house as well. My life isn’t here anymore—hasn’t been for a long, long time.
And staying… Well, it would put me right back under that shadow. That’s not something I want to do.”
Gertie nodded. “I don’t blame you. But where will you go?”
Mildred’s eyes widened and she smiled as she shook her head.
“Lord, I don’t know. My old job in Colorado’s already been filled and to be honest, I was starting to get restless.
Fifteen years doing the same thing can either make you feel secure or restless.
It did both for me, but restless was what I mostly felt before I moved in with Eleanor. ”
“What about your surgery?” I asked.
“I’ll have to talk to my surgeon in New Orleans and see what the progression rate is.
I know it makes more sense to have it done here where I’ve got friends to help, but after everything that’s happened, I would feel bad taking charity from people.
And not to offend present company, but I don’t want to deal with all the whispering behind my back.
All this stuff about Eleanor and Zion is going to come out eventually, and I don’t want it to land on me.
I know that sounds selfish and probably reckless but that’s how I feel. ”
“You do what you need to do,” Gertie said.
“Your mental health plays a big role in your recovery. And you can always hire help until you are able to do things yourself. I know it’s probably crass to say but the reality is, once you sell the cabins and the house, you’ll have the resources to not only have your surgery and get some help, but to take your time getting into another job. ”
Mildred blinked. “You’re right. I know that… At least I think I did, but it’s still hard to wrap my mind around.”
She gave Gertie a smile. “Who knows—maybe I’ll do one of those medical tourism things and jet off to some sunny, beautiful beach to take care of everything.”
“That sounds like a plan to me,” Ida Belle said.
“And if you’re serious about selling the cabins, then I’d love to talk to you about them.
But I’ll be making a fair offer. We can save some on the Realtor’s fees by dealing direct but I’m not looking for a discount.
That’s just taking advantage. We’ll have an appraisal done and I’ll offer market. ”
“What in the world are you going to do with the cabins?” Gertie asked.
Ida Belle raised one eyebrow. “Maybe I’ll open a yoga retreat.”
Gertie snorted. “The heck you will.”
“Fishing and target shooting?”
I grinned. “That sounds more like it.”
“And no habits required,” Gertie said.