33
Emaline
“You’ll be okay,” Rosie smiles,rubbing my shoulder to comfort me. “I’m right here if you need me.”
I nod and take a deep breath to ease my thundering nerves. “Thank you, Rosie. You’re the bestest friend ever. I don’t know how I can do this without you.”
“Well…firstly, using the word ‘bestest’ won’t help your cause,” she mocks, reminding me of our dislike of that particular word misuse. “And this won’t be as bad as when you have to tell your grandparents.”
“True. You know I might end alone,” I tremble and clasp my hands together to stop them from shaking. “This could go terribly wrong.”
“Meh,” she shrugs her shoulders dismissively. “Or it could go terribly right. Either way, you’ve got support.”
“Okay,” I say, squeezing her hand. “I’m ready.”
Rosie steps forward and presses the doorbell, and my instincts are screaming at me to turn and run back to the elevator. But before I have the chance, the door swings open, and Xavier stands before me with a furrowed brow and chewing his bottom lip.
Without a word, he steps aside to let us into their apartment, where Austin and Aaron wait with bated breath.
“Hi,” I say, giving them a quick, silly wave.
Cutting to the chase as usual, Austin states, “And?”
“It’s positive,” I announce, glancing at Xavier”s face since it could only be him, who is the father. He’s the only one that I had unprotected sex with, so it has to be him.
A few beats of silence fall where I’m crying inside, desperate for them to say something – anything. I glance back at Rosie, who seems frightened for me, and gives my hand another squeeze.
“Good,” Aaron states, taking out a packet of cigars, “Time to celebrate.”
“Good?” I enquire, longing for them to clarify.
“We knew this would happen,” Aaron says, lighting a cigar as Austin steps toward me and wraps his arms tightly around my body, kissing my cheeks. Big ugly sobbing exudes from my body, tears, snot, shaking – the whole unattractive lot.
“You’re not angry?” I question.
“Fuck, why would we be angry?” Austin assures me. “This is the best news ever.”
“A little Leroux running around the place is going to be a dream come true, Em,” Aaron adds. “Fuck, who’s gonna tell Mom?”
Austin steps away from the hug, and I look at the charming face of Xavier, who is a little hesitant and standoffish. Being a father is something he might not want. It’s a massive responsibility and many sacrifices. But I had thought this through. If he wanted nothing to do with this baby, then I’d find a way to raise my son or daughter alone.
“Is it mine?” Xavier asks, still with a furrowed brow, chewing on his bottom lip.
I nod. “Um, you’re the only one who I had unprotected sex with,” I illuminate. I played this scene repeatedly in my head, and I guess I didn’t expect Xavier to be the one who turned his back on us – the baby and I. The warm, friendly brother who introduced me to a life of excitement and risk-taking, who led my hand in the dark to clothe Addington Statue at uni in knitting, and who helped me override my fears of heights when I climbed the ladder to the top of Landers’ Silo. He helped me discover my own body and likes and dislikes, but most of all, he opened my heart to adventure and love.
Those eyes of his flick to his brothers, then back to me, dropping to my stomach as my glasses fog from hot tears.
“You’re gonna be a father, bro,” Austin states, patting him on the shoulder. “And we’re gonna be the attentive uncles.”
Xavier’s eyes land back on me as his face lights up with a big panty-dropping grin. “I’m going to be a dad,” he chuckles, scooping me up in his arms as my feet lift from the floor and twirl me around.
A popping sound of Champagne being uncorked and cigars being lit plays out around me, but all I can see is Xavier’s beaming face.
“Are you sure? Are you sure you’re okay with this?” the tone of voice pleads because I don’t want him to pretend to be okay when he isn’t.
“Yeah, of course I am. This is the best news ever,” he exclaims proudly.
“I’m going to be a dad,” he announces as if it’s finally setting in and turns to his brothers. “I’m going to be a dad. I’m going to be a dad.”
“We know, bro,” Austin hugs him, patting him on the back. “And look at who the mother of your kid is.” That sullen man who rarely smiled is now grinning from ear to ear at me. “You couldn’t find a woman better than our Em.”
But someone is missing. Rosie. She snuck out quietly. I race out the door to find her at the elevator, about to enter. “This is about you, Em. They’re your family now. Go be with them.”
“No,” I refuse to let her go. “You’re my family, too, and I’m not doing this without you. Two peas in a pod, we are. And besides, I need someone to pull me out of the deep end of Jockville when I start drowning in stinky socks and football paraphernalia.”
She smiles awkwardly because I know it’s a world she’s uncomfortable in, but maybe she could get used to it, like I did. I seize her hand and drag her back inside the apartment, and the brothers welcome her with open arms.
We celebrate and laugh, and my hand fits perfectly on my stomach, where a little life grows. I know everything will be okay with these great men and my bestie on this journey with me.
This baby may have been conceived from recklessness and naivety, but they’ll be born into a life of adventure, attentiveness, and love.
THE END