Chapter 2
Acommotion from behind me drew my attention and I turned to look down the hall, toward the back of the house.
I could hear Hedwig arguing with someone, his cultured voice a perfect contrast to the gruff, sexy growl of the other man.
They rounded the corner and headed down the hallway toward me, and I had to scoop my jaw up off the floor.
Holy fiddling fairy farts! Another one!
A tall blonde guy with piercing blue eyes came to a halt before me, Hedwig scampering to keep up with the man's long, powerful strides. I let my eyes slide over blondie's ripped bod, which was pretty much identical to the postman’s, because of course all hot guys looked the same. The new guy was wearing soft, worn jeans and an old t-shirt that stretched taught against his massive pecs. He crossed his arms—his bulging arms—over his chest and raised an eyebrow at me as his gaze traveled over my body from head to toe, leaving me feeling undressed. And horny. Holy wow. I suddenly just couldn’t think about anything but sex.
"Can I help you?" I said, drawing myself up to all my teeny-tiny, height.
Hedwig pushed past the man and rolled his eyes. "This is the groundskeeper," he said on an exasperated sigh. "He seems to be having some trouble leaving for his lunch break."
I blinked. "He works for me?"
Hedwig nodded.
Oh my God, I was going to get a new garden feature installed right outside my bedroom window. Maybe something with big heavy stone blocks so he'd have to carry them, shirtless, in the sweaty sun.
"Why is she making that noise?" the postal guy said from behind me.
Hedwig rolled his eyes again, and I decided I was going to have to have a very firm talk with him about disrespecting his employer—no, his queen.
"If you'll excuse me," the cheeky old coot said in a flat voice, "I have…silverware to polish." Then he turned and left.
"So?" the groundskeeper insisted. "What the hell's going on around here? I just tried to leave, and my truck hit some invisible wall! My poor, sweet baby has a dent!"
I shook my head at him and handed him the note I'd found in the box. Poor men, with their genetic attachment to cars. It was sad. But they couldn’t help it. "It must have something to do with this," I said, as if I had any clue what was going on.
He skimmed the letter, his lean, chiseled, manly jaw clenching. Then those bright blue eyes pinned me. "Are you kidding me right now?"
I shook my head. Postal guy came up close behind me to look over my shoulder at the letter when I took it back.
His animal heat radiated into me from behind, making my brain short-circuit.
"We're…trapped in a magical kingdom that only exists in your mansion?” he muttered. “What the hell is a pocket world?"
I shrugged. I had no idea. But I did understand one thing. "The letter says I'm the queen of this hidden kingdom." So, yay!
The groundskeeper's blue eyes softened, and he took a step closer. "Of course you are. I mean, just look at you. I'd let you rule me anytime, even if I just met you five seconds ago."
I sucked in a deep breath, imagining all the ways I'd command him to serve me. The big guy behind me growled, jealousy rolling off him in waves. "Don't get ahead of yourself, dude."
I stepped out from between them, feeling light-headed at the promise of an alpha male display of possessiveness. My little knees were weak, and my molten core trembled like a Jell-O mold in an earthquake. I sat down on the stairs.
Both guys glanced at me and I waved a hand. "No, don't stop. Fight over me!" So hot. It really did things for my fantasy of being the center of attention at all times.
They continued posturing. There was flexing muscle and puffed-up chests. Someone growled. The word "mine" was used excessively. I fanned myself. Whew doggies!
Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. I stood, making sure to climb up a few stairs so I could look at them from eye level.
"As amazing as this is, I think we should really get back to the plot.
" I waved a hand dismissively. "There's enough of me to go around.
But not until after we figure out what this letter means—and I repaint my nails. Priorities, guys."
They both turned and prowled toward me. Holy hippos, they were hot! It was a good thing they were different colors, or I'd have a hard time telling them apart, they were so perfectly perfect and…uniform.
Each guy put one big hand on my hip, and the heat rebounded between us as they pressed their big bodies closer. I almost swooned. Maybe the whole house being a pocket whatever and this whole hidden kingdom thing could wait….
A loud bang made me jump, and I turned my attention to the front parlor room.
Stepping between the guys, I led them to the doorway.
The bang had come from one of the big bay windows.
I watched in surprise as some weird nerd wrenched the window open and crawled inside.
The window slammed shut behind him with a boom, all on its own, nearly catching his long knobby fingers in the process.
"For fuck's sake!" he muttered in a weird, reedy voice that wasn't attractive and manly at all.
He stood and pulled his ugly Hawaiian shirt straight, then shoved his thick glasses up his long nose and raked his boring brown hair out of his face.
While my big, hulking hotties looked good with a sheen of sweat from the hot, humid summer day, this guy…
he just looked…clammy. He wiped a sheen of sweat from his cheeks with the back of his hand, then settled his glasses.
He'd dropped a ratty old duffel bag at his feet, and he bent to pick it up and throw it over his shoulder before looking at us.
"Wow," he said, still breathing hard from his battle with the window. "I didn't think I was gonna make it in time, even with your warning!" He narrowed his boring hazel eyes at me. "Mare? That is you, isn’t it?"
I arched my perfectly plucked and drawn eyebrows at him and wrinkled my nose cutely. "Mare? My name's Mary Sue. I think you broke into the wrong house."
He was clearly a Bad Person—with capital letters.
I could tell because while he was tall, he was also skinny, and he had that long nose, and a mole on his cheek.
I studied him a bit more and gaped in horror.
"Are you wearing socks with sandals?" Oh, hecks no!
Ugly and poorly dressed? He had to be a terrible villain. Maybe my arch nemesis.
He heaved a sigh, like he was dealing with an idiot. "I was going to wear sneakers, but they blew up. The sandals were all I could grab on my way out the door." He glanced down at his stupid feet. Then he frowned and shook himself. "Wait. That's not important here. Cripes."
He glanced at the menacing hulks at my side, both ready to snap him like a twig because they were so protective and amazing, even though they'd only known me for about three minutes. Best three minutes of my life.
"Uh," the nerdy guy said slowly. "Who are you?"
I rolled my eyes. "My postman and my gardener. Not that it matters to you, burglar."
He blinked at me. "Burglar…."
Postal guy huffed as he looked at me. "Never did introduce myself to you, sweet thing. I'm Dray."
Gardener dude reached over to caress my cheek with his big, rough, sexy hand and I forgot everything else. "Cass."
Nerdy guy started laughing. I watched in confusion as he laughed so hard he ended up bent over, tears streaming down his unattractively narrow burglar face. "Oh," he wheezed. "Oh, this is worse than I ever imagined."
I crossed my arms over my chest in a way that perfectly highlighted my amazing, somehow-perky-even-though-they-were-huge boobs. Tapping a dainty toe, I glared at him. "I'm calling the cops."
He held up a hand, gasping for breath as he straightened and tried to stop laughing. "Go ahead. They won't respond. No one can get in here."
"You did," Cass pointed out, his low, growly voice making me pant.
Nerdy guy rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses again. I could barely look at him. His Hawaiian shirt was making my eyes hurt. "Well, sure. I used magic, just like we planned when everything went tits up. You…really don't recognize me, do you?"
I huffed. "Believe me, I'd remember if I ever met some ugly guy who liked to crawl through windows and commit fashion sins.
" And did he say magic? Was he the one who trapped us here?
Well, duh. He was a Bad Person, after all.
Just that nose alone…and I think I saw a crooked tooth when he talked. How grossly imperfect.
Clearly evil. Everyone knew ugly people were evil.
He ground his teeth together. "Well, excuse me for not living up to your standards, princess. But I've got better things to worry about than my lacking physical appearance."
I tossed my lush hair. "Actually, it's queen." I narrowed my eyes at him. "And I think I need a dungeon. That's where you put villains, right?" I glanced at my two beautiful knights.
Dray and Cass moved forward and grabbed the skinny guy's arms. He yanked back, but he was way too weak to break free of their grip.
"May I suggest locking him in one of the guest rooms?" Hedwig said from the doorway. His expression was blank. "It wouldn't do to hurt him before we understand why he's here or what he's done with his…magic."
I sighed. This all sounded way too complicated for me. I just wanted to paint my nails. And climb the two man-mountains currently escorting my prisoner to his new digs. A dull headache started behind my eyes. Something wasn’t right here.
I shook the feeling off with ease. Probably not important.
The nerdy guy had stopped fighting, but he threw a dark glare over his shoulder at me as I followed along behind them.
"I'm here to help you!" he ground out. "So help me, Mare. I'm never going to let you forget this!"
I grimaced. "Stop calling me that. It's…icky. My name is Mary Sue."
He turned back around, but I swear I heard him whisper, "You always hated that name."
After this nut was locked up, I was so going to take a hot bubble bath and eat some chocolate. That would definitely take care of the weird, anxious feeling I'd had for a minute there. Everyone knew girls thrived on bubble baths and chocolate.
I glanced down at the nail polish bottle I still held in my hand, and everything suddenly felt less weird.
Perfect Petal Pink. Everything would be fine.
I hummed to myself as I watched Hedwig shut the guest room door.
Cass took up a position outside the door, like an obedient guard. See. Everything was fine.