Chapter 6
Okay. My new magic house was frogging amazing!
I had lost count of the number of rooms we’d explored so far.
We were currently on the…third floor, I think?
It was hard to keep track, since each room we entered was more magical and perfect than the last. It was like someone had made a list of every girly wish and ensured it came true.
I could have easily spent an eternity in any one of the rooms we explored, but the Bad Wizard, or whatever he was, ruined the fun every single time.
I stomped my delicate little foot and gave a perfectly cute pout when he insisted that we leave the rainbow-colored peacocks in their aviary room so we could continue mapping out the house.
He was so irritating. Even if I had accepted that his ugly might not be catching.
“But, Mare,” he said in a casual tone, still insisting on calling me that nasty, uncute name, “what if the next room has something even better inside? It is a house meant for a magical queen, after all, right? What if the next door is the one to lead to your hidden kingdom and all those adoring subjects of yours?”
And really, who could argue with that?
I threw open the next door and gasped in wonder. The Bad Wizard muttered something beside me that sounded suspiciously like “fuck, I’ll never get her out of here.”
He was right. The entire room was one massive, fluffy pink dream of a walk-in closet.
I dashed inside and spun in a circle, admiring rows and rows of dresses, shirts, skirts, pants, shoes, scarves, handbags…
it was like my own personal shopping mall.
And every single piece of fabric was the perfect color and tailored to hug my curves just right.
I wanted to marry this house!
Cass and Dray looked a little scared of all the frills and girlishness at firsts—as real men should be—but eventually, they realized that there was a lingerie section and they joined me in eagerly pulling things off the hangers and shelves to be tried on.
The Bad Wizard muttered to himself and wandered around the room randomly shooting sparks from his fingers as he explored the wallpaper, outlets, and baseboards.
The weirdo. I ignored him and shimmied into a deep magenta evening gown that made me feel like the queen I was.
Then Cass outdid himself, bringing me a sparkling diamond tiara he’d found among the accessories and placing it on my head.
“Perfect, my queen, my goddess.” His bright blue eyes sparkled. “I love you with all my soul.”
Bad Wizard snorted, “Didn’t you just meet her today?” but I ignored him.
Throwing my arms around Cass’s broad, muscular shoulders, I leaned in to accept a heated kiss.
There was a thump and a curse. I pulled myself out of my dreams of maybe, possibly venturing from missionary to doggy style this time, to find Wizard Nerd glaring at the wall on the far side of the closet room.
I clapped my hands and squealed in delight. “Another door!” The flower-bedecked portal had just magically appeared where there had been nothing but a blank wall before.
I skipped toward the magic door. All the other rooms we’d found branched off from the main hallway. This door had to be special. I reached for the knob, but Dweeb Mage stepped in front of me, crossing his arms and blocking me with his blinding Hawaiian-shirt-clad scrawniness.
“Move,” I demanded.
He shook his head. “No. This place is obviously one big trap. It’s meant to keep you distracted. Letting it lead you deeper into the pocket universe is a terrible idea. You might never find your way out.”
I huffed. None of that made sense. “But what if there’s more shoes in there? Or…a pony! Maybe a pink pony!”
He narrowed his hazel eyes at me like he was trying to decide what was wrong with me. Which was just silly. Obviously, he was the one with a mental disorder. Pink ponies! Just think.
He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around, pushing me toward a growling Dray. “Get your hands off my amazing, queenly, perfect mate, asshole!” The hulking brunette growled.
Oh my stars! More alpha displays. Yes! I fanned myself.
Wait…mate? I glanced at Dray and it felt like someone had just sunk an icepick into my brain. I grabbed my head at the sharp pain. “Ow! Ow, ow, ow. Damn it!”
I could feel everyone looking at me. Oh…crusty cream puffs. I never swore. I was too perfect and sweet for that. But that headache hurt.”
It was gone as soon as it came. I straightened, unable to remember what I’d been thinking before the headache from H-E-double-hockey-sticks. Oh well, couldn’t have been that important.
Bad Wizard gave Dray a weird look, one eyebrow arched like he was waiting for something. But when Dray just scowled at him, he waved a hand. “So sorry for touching your precious, delicate queen, dude. But trust me on this. Going further into this house is a bad idea.”
He looked to Cass for support, but all he got was a half shrug. “We do what the queen wants to do, burglar.”
The Bad Person pinched the bridge of his nose, shoving his thick-rimmed glasses up onto his forehead, making an uncalled for expression of exasperation.
He took in a deep breath and dropped his hand to his side, giving me a smile that was surprisingly nice for such a nerdy, moley, dork.
“I think we should stop exploring for the day, don’t you?
I’m sure your, uh…knights…here would like some time alone with you. To um…polish their swords?”
I arched a brow at him. I wasn’t falling for it. Even if he did have the best ideas.
His boring hazel eyes moved downward, to where I rested one hand on my hip in a regal power pose.
His eyes narrowed, and I felt a shiver and a brush of…
something. Almost like something I remembered from a dream.
The nerd’s eyes widened in surprise, then he gave me a sheepish look.
“Oh, no. I don’t know how to tell you this, queenie…
but I think your nail polish is chipped. Darn.”
I glanced down. No way. But he was right! One tiny corner of my thumbnail was slightly imperfect. I whirled and headed for the door to the hallway.
“Where are you going?” Bad Wizard called after me, his voice full of concern.
I didn’t answer him. I had to get back to my room and fix my Perfect Petal Pink manicure.
When I reached the hallway and dashed down to the second floor to my room, the guys all kept pace with me.
Cass and Dray followed close behind, since obviously they couldn’t get more than a few feet from me with how passionately we were connected.
But when I turned to go into my room, I noticed the Wizard of Weird trailing behind us, his thick brows drawn together and a calculating look on his face.
He muttered darkly as he swept past us to his own prison—uh, I mean, guest room.
Something about the look on his face made me uneasy. But I had more important things to deal with. “Quick, Cass,” I said as I rushed into the room. “I need a file and some topcoat!”