Chapter 4 #2
“No I won’t just. I think things are quite convenient the way they are.” The expression on his face gave nothing away.
“Although I don’t have you in quite the position I’d like,” he paused as though imagining a very different setting, “this is better than some I could think of.”
“Give me my crutch!”
“Not a chance.”
At this point Rebecca decided that the distance wasn’t so great she couldn’t hop to the door. Standing on one foot, she balanced herself against the desk and started to move away from the chair.
“Sit down, Rebecca,” he growled
“Go to hell, Mace,” she answered sweetly, still trying to control her temper.
In two strides he was in front of her. Unless she could think of a way to go through him she was going nowhere. Her hands weren’t even free to slap him, which was a delightful thought by this point.
Her eyes were level with the third button on his shirt and she could smell his familiar aftershave.
While she was mad enough to do him bodily harm, she also longed to lean on his wonderfully strong chest and be comforted.
You definitely should have stayed for observation like that doctor wanted you too she told herself, you have some type of mental disorder.
He was still standing close enough for her to feel the warmth of his body when he spoke again.
“Rebecca, I have been stirred to every emotion imaginable by you over the last few weeks, and some that I never dreamed of, and while I have always prided myself on being an even tempered man, I find that just the opposite is true with you. Now if you have the sense that God gave an ant, you will sit down in that chair.”
“Okay, Okay,” she told him sitting down and putting some distance between them.
The tone of his voice was one she didn’t want to investigate further and his eyes were a stormy blue-gray.
There was something about him tonight that was different and she sensed a certain danger.
Don’t be ridiculous she told herself, this is Mason, but it wasn’t the Mason she knew.
This man was harder, stronger, and more determined.
The control he placed on himself was almost a tangible thing and while it frightened her somewhat, she also had a strange desire to shatter it and explore the mystery underneath.
He sat across from her, his eyes assessing her every feature.
They traveled over her so slowly and thoroughly that her face flamed.
If he’d physically touched her it couldn’t have been any more intimate.
A spiraling heat penetrated her, and breathing became an effort.
The power of his gaze made her feel suddenly weak and her mind rebelled against what her body gloried in.
When he began to speak it took her a moment to focus on what he was saying.
“You have been a part of my life for a long time. I’ve always thought we were friends, good friends.
I know we’ve had our disagreements, and that’s putting it mildly.
You have amazed me, infuriated me, caused me countless sleepless nights, and recently given me more pleasure than any man has a right to expect, but you have never hurt me, until now. ”
Rebecca felt like a giant hand was squeezing her heart. Hurt him? Of all the people in her life, Mason was the one who least deserved hurting. Her eyes filled with tears as he continued.
“Regardless of our differences the other night, or should I say the other morning, because the night was damned near perfect, I can’t believe you would have a car accident and not call me.
How could you drag yourself to class like this, never considering how I would feel seeing you injured?
Do you know how many times I’ve called you in the last week?
Why didn’t you return them? I don’t know whether you’re trying to convince yourself that I don’t matter or convince me.
Rebecca, we made love the other night. You can call it what you like and you can spout your modern attitude all you want, but that won’t change the facts.
You belong to me and I won’t be shut out of your life, not without a fight.
I want to marry you, not just be your lover. ”
Rebecca sat silently, her eyes misty. The last couple of weeks had been tough without him and if the truth were known Mason had been the only one she’d wanted in the painful hours after her accident.
But the word ‘belong’ froze something inside her.
Belonging meant permanence and she of all people knew that nothing was permanent.
Why couldn’t he just enjoy what they had now?
Why tempt fate with empty promises of forever when there was no such thing?
No one knew what tomorrow would bring and she preferred not to count on it.
Rebecca didn’t know what to say to make him understand.
When her mother died it almost destroyed her father.
For weeks he walked around in a daze, unable to function in even the most basic ways.
Suddenly, he had become the child and she the parent, grieving alone in her room.
Eventually he recovered enough to have a semblance of his former life, but he was never the same man.
At twelve years old she hadn’t been able to understand what happened to her dynamic, fun-loving father, or forgive her mother for leaving them.
She did, however, know one thing. She never wanted to love anyone like her father had loved her mother.
Never would another human being hold her happiness in their hands.
She would make her own happiness and if it included others, so be it.
She didn’t believe in ‘happily ever after’ and she refused to delude herself.
Her life was living proof that there was no forever, at least not on earth.
Why couldn’t he just take one day at a time and be grateful for it?
She loved him, she desired him, but she wouldn’t ever need him, at least not in the way he wanted.
Slipping a ring on her finger wouldn’t change that.
Mason watched the play of emotions on her tired face. Her thick lashes were moist with tears and he suddenly felt like an insensitive jerk. He could see that coming here tonight had taken all of her reserve energy. She was exhausted, probably in pain and having trouble keeping upright.
“Come on, baby,” he sighed, as he crossed the room to retrieve her crutch. “I’ll take you home. I guess this can wait until you’re feeling better.”
Rebecca rose shakily to her feet and wiped the tears from her cheeks, looking at him with gratitude. She smiled slightly and misreading the look of relief, Mason froze.
“This discussion isn’t over sweetheart, just postponed,” he told her firmly, slipping an arm around her and guiding her to the door. “I know you’re tired and in pain and I won’t push you anymore tonight, but I won’t change my mind either. You’re going to be my wife.”
The twenty minute ride home was surprisingly soothing to Rebecca. The night sky was black velvet sprinkled with diamonds and she sank further into the leather seat letting the powerful purr of the engine relax her.
Mason was equally quiet. Remembering his plans for this evening, he smiled grimly.
There was not going to be any seduction tonight and in a way he was relieved.
He didn’t think he was up to another night of lying awake.
Wanting her as he did, and knowing that if he allowed her to set the rules for their relationship he would regret it, he forced himself to focus on her injury.
Pulling up in front of her house, he shut the car off.
Turning to look at her he swallowed a lump in his throat.
She was so damn beautiful. The streetlight shone on the wisps of golden hair that had escaped her ponytail.
Head back and eyes closed she drifted in the place between sleep and wakefulness, not aware that he studied her.
The slim column of her silky throat was exposed and proved too tempting, despite his good intentions.
Leaning over he trailed his lips along her neck, inhaling her delicate fragrance.
Rebecca moaned softly and tangled her hands in his soft, thick hair, seeking more.