Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Nicholas stood in front of Maggie Cassidy's door for a long time. Sweat beaded his brow despite the chilling wind and swirling snow. His hand shook slightly as he rang the bell.
It was stupid to feel so nervous. He’d just about grown up at the O’Malley’s house, but his cohorts were her brothers, Rory and Patrick. He hadn’t paid much attention to the girls. Eventually, things changed.
Maggie O'Malley was the only girl Nick dated in high school. She was it, as far as he was concerned! He’d fallen helplessly in love the first time he saw her through a young man’s eyes.
She was beautiful with her auburn hair and smiling Irish eyes, and they'd been a couple from that moment on.
For a while Maggie returned his love in every way and Nick assumed that when he graduated from college they'd be married.
That was before he learned his first lesson in heartbreak.
After a grueling week of exams Nick packed his small car and went home for the weekend.
Intending to surprise her, he cut cross lots and quietly came upon Maggie on her backyard swing with Jim Cassidy.
She was sobbing in his arms. The things he overheard that day still haunted him, reminding him never to be so trusting again.
Maggie had been telling Jim she didn't know what to do. She wasn't ready for this kind of commitment, and she didn't know how long she could put off telling Nick. Although her words were broken and disjointed, her voice thick with tears, Nick caught the general idea.
He retreated unseen, crushed that the girl he loved could be so callous.
Convinced she had been two-timing him, he wrote her, breaking off their unofficial engagement.
Several letters came after that, but Nick never opened them.
His pride wouldn't let him and although there had been other women later in his life, he never allowed himself to become deeply involved.
Maggie married Jim Cassidy in a quiet ceremony within three months, reinforcing Nick’s suspicions.
Now he stood uncertainly at her door. His fingers were stiff with cold and the once lovely poinsettia he held in his other arm looked like a reject from a supermarket.
If he hadn't promised Mason to stop by and explain why he and Rebecca wouldn't be joining her, he'd have turned around right then, but a promise was a promise, even if some people didn't think so.
Maggie answered the door smiling. For a moment she didn't recognize the large man standing on her porch and automatically closed the door a little more.
“Can I help you?” she asked, struggling to see in the dim light and swirling snow.
“Hello Maggie,” the man said. “It's been a long time.”
A gasp was her only response as recognition dawned. A slim hand flew to her throat and Nick watched as the color drained from her face. Her eyes had a haunted look that surprised him. He expected surprise, even a cool reception, but he could almost feel the fear that radiated from her.
The light behind her silhouetted a slim and shapely woman, bringing a flame to her hair.
Long auburn curls trailed down from a pony tail high on her head and Nick's heart began a steady tattoo.
She didn't look much different than she had fifteen years ago.
Still, the expression on her face was not one he ever remembered seeing in those days.
“May I come in?” he asked softly, feeling the cold even as his temperature rose.
“I ah…of course Nick, come in for a minute.”
Nick didn't miss the quaver in her voice or the reference to time. Handing her the plant, he removed his coat and looked around for a place to put it. He could hear giggling coming from the other room and he casually walked in that direction.
“Nice place you have here,” he told her, looking around and not missing a detail.
The house was a blending of old and new, blues, creams, roses and pinks.
The tree was trimmed in a Victorian style and scattered beneath it were packages opened earlier in the day.
A ten speed bike leaned against a large doll house and Nick's thick eyebrow went up in surprise when a little girl with curly blonde hair came scampering across the floor and threw her arms around his legs, squeezing tightly.
“Uncle Mason,” she cried, so excited she began to hiccup. “Come see. It a house for my dolly. Santa brung it.”
Maggie quickly disengaged three year old Caitlin from Nick’s knees.
“Santa brought it,” Maggie corrected. “Honey this is Mason’s brother, Nick.”
Caitlin held out her hand in a very adult manner, patiently waiting for Nick to shake it.
Automatically Nick's hand came out, completely enfolding her small one.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Caitlin.”
“You look like Uncle Mason,” she told him, staring up at him intently. “And like my brudder too.”
Maggie swayed, catching hold to the door frame with one hand and reaching for Caitlin with the other,
“And what brother is that, little one?” Nick quietly asked, going down on one knee and looking directly into her small face.
“My brudder Jason. Come see, Nick,” Caitlin continued, grasping his hand and pulling him in the proper direction. “It what I asked Santa to bring me.”
“Mr. Kord can't stay,” Maggie cut in, picking up Nick's coat for emphasis. “I'm sure he has other things to do.”
“As a matter of fact I was hoping you'd let me hang around for a while. It is Christmas, after all, and with Mason and Rebecca out of town I...”
Maggie never heard the rest of his words. With his mention of Mason and Rebecca her last hope for a way out of this situation vanished.
The disappointment on her face was not lost on Nick.
Turning his attention back to the golden sprite before him, Nick dutifully admired every feature of the special toy.
For several minutes the big man and the petite girl knelt together on the floor.
The sight of his dark head bending over her daughter while he listened to every word made a lump form in Maggie's throat.
Turning away she wiped a tear from her cheek. The sound of running footsteps preceded two boisterous boys down the stairs and Maggie groaned. What else could possibly go wrong she thought? She'd been hoping to get Nick out of here before this happened and now it was out of the question.
“Mom, make Jason give me back my new CD, he's had it all afternoon,” Todd whined, never noticing the stranger in the room.
“Ah, take it baby,” Jason responded, calling his little brother a name that always inflamed him.
“I'm not a baby, you take that back,” Todd howled, getting ready to head butt his sibling.
“Boys, that's enough. It's a holiday; can't you get along for one day,” she asked in frustration, flinging Nick's coat down on the couch and wrapping an arm around the squirming Todd.
“Todd, why don't you call Tommy and see what he got for Christmas,” she suggested, trying to defuse the situation.
“Okay Mom,” Todd complied somewhat resentfully. “But tell him to leave my stuff alone.”
“All right, go on. You can use the phone in my room. Jason I wish you'd stop antagonizing him. You know how hard this last year has been on him.”
“Yeah right, like it hasn't been hard on the rest of us.”
Maggie put a hand to her temple, gently massaging.
The man in the living room had been temporarily forgotten in the heat of the moment, but Nick had taken in every bit of the scene played out before him.
The stress and fatigue etched in Maggie's face pulled at him and he had a sudden impulse to take her into his arms and comfort her.
She was a young widow with three children. Trying to celebrate Christmas must be exceptionally hard on her he realized, absently studying Maggie's oldest son.
He was much taller than Maggie, his hair so black it almost looked blue.
Funny, Jim hadn't been especially tall and Maggie was barely average height.
Suddenly the boy looked directly into Nick's eyes and the color was startling. Recognition sent a fiery jolt through him and he took a step in the boy’s direction.
Maggie quickly stepped between the two males who were silently sizing each other up. “Jason, this is Mason's brother, Nicholas. Nick, this is my son Jason.”
Nick didn’t miss the slight emphasis she placed on the word my, even transfixed as he was. Looking at Jason was like going back in time. Every feature was stamped Kord. Even the small dimple in his chin marked him.
“Nick was just leaving,” Maggie said firmly, interrupting their silent assessment.
Maggie's hands shook when she picked up his coat and handed it to him. For a breathless moment she was afraid he wouldn't take it. Her throat was so dry she could hardly get the words out as she thanked him for stopping and escorted him to the door.
She'd loved him once. Loved him with every beat of her heart, every breath in her body, but that was long ago, before he'd denied them their chance for happiness, denied their love.
Now the only feeling he inspired was fear.
Jason had never questioned his parentage and Maggie never brought it up.
Jim was a good father, treating Jason exactly as if was his own child and Maggie promised never to reveal the truth. It was a promise she intended to keep.
“Good night, Nick,” she forced out, holding the door open, “Have a safe trip back to ah…Colorado isn’t it?” she questioned hopefully, refusing to back down even though her insides were shaking.
“All right Maggie, I’ll go, but I’ll be back,” he told her softly, the look in his eyes pinning her. Suddenly he laid his large palm against her cheek.
“I know things have been difficult for you and I’m trying to understand how you must be feeling, but this is far from over Maggie and it’s best you realize that right now. I’m not thinking too clearly at the moment, but based on a gut feeling, I’d say you have a lot of explaining to do.”
Maggie nodded and silently closed the door as the only man who had the power to destroy her life walked off into the night.