29. Home for the Holidays
Home for the Holidays
Q
“Wow, somebody needs a happy meal.”
Q lifted his hand and raised a single figure salute to his cousin Daria.
They were the closest in age among the cousins, which had led to them hanging out the most during the various holiday gatherings throughout the years.
Back then, she’d been named Darren, but she’d made the transition in her early twenties and nothing had really changed between them except she had better advice than when she was a teenager.
Something he should probably take advantage of, now that he thought about it, but he didn’t know if he wanted advice.
It had been two days since his blow-up with Sam.
She’d texted him yesterday asking if they could talk. He’d been on his way down to his grandma’s and had texted her back that he was going to concentrate on his family for the next few days, and they could talk after he got back. He still needed time to cool down.
Time and maybe some sense knocked into him because he was already making excuses for her in his head. It was like he wanted to set himself up to be hurt again.
Third time’s the charm.
“Okay then, Scrooge.” Daria chuckled, sitting down on the porch swing next to him. This part of North Carolina wasn’t that much warmer than Maryland, so Q was bundled up in a coat and scarf, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
It was a cold Christmas day.
Or maybe he was just cold without Sam in his life.
“I don’t suppose you could take the hint and just let me hang out here on my own for a bit? Wouldn’t you rather spend Christmas day with your wife?” Q asked with a sigh, but there was no heat in his words. He wasn’t angry at Daria. He wasn’t even sure he was mad at Sam.
But he was disappointed. It was making it hard to enjoy Christmas and his family. A stark contrast to Thanksgiving.
“No can do. Unless you want the moms out here next. I’m the compromise. Rashida understands. She’s gonna keep them occupied while I hang out here with you.”
Shit.
Yeah, he’d much rather have Daria than his mom and aunts.
“I’ll have to thank Rashida for her sacrifice.” Though, truthfully, it wasn’t a huge one. The moms all loved her and the fact she was currently seven months pregnant didn’t hurt.
“I’ve promised to update her later tonight about why you’re such a sad sack.”
Q snorted, lifting his beer to take a drink. He didn’t usually drink at the family gatherings, but today, he’d wanted one. Just to take the edge off. And instead of being in the middle of the kids, he’d gone out to the front porch to wallow.
He’d been hoping not to be missed among all the chaos. He’d waited until after the presents were open to sneak off and thought no one had noticed. He should have known better.
Daria let him sit in silence for a whole thirty seconds before she finally nudged him with her elbow. Except instead of a nudge, it was more like a jab to the ribs, and it hurt.
“Ow. Okay, fine.” Q sighed again. “It’s like this.”
He’d already told her about Sam at Thanksgiving. Daria had remembered the girl who changed her mind about going to prom with him. She’d been intrigued that he and Sam had found each other again—at a kink club no less. The update on what had happened since then was a lot less fun.
The noise going on in the house behind them reassured him the rest of his family probably wouldn’t hear him talking, but he kept his voice low just in case. The last thing he needed was everyone trooping out to give him relationship advice. Or, worse, asking what kink was.
“So, I told her we’d talk when I got back,” he finished up wearily.
Laying it all out, he still wasn’t sure how he felt about everything that had gone down.
He’d been right to be upset, but at the same time, he felt like shit about how he’d walked out on her.
On the other hand, he wasn’t sure that staying would have helped.
He didn’t know what he might have said if he had. He’d been pissed and lashing out.
“Do you think you might have been leaving her before she left you this time?” Daria asked.
Trust his cousin to get straight to the heart of things. Q winced. He felt the question like a physical blow, which meant there was more than a little truth to it.
“Maybe,” he temporized, rather than admitting it. “But the fact she didn’t even tell me she interviewed for a job in Ohio shows that we’re not on the same page.”
“She did say she wasn’t planning on taking it.”
Q threw up his hands, careful not to slosh his beer.
“Then why even interview?”
“That’s something only she can answer.” Daria was silent for a moment. “Money changes things, though. I could see Rashida doing something similar when we first got together. Not because she’d want to leave me, but because of the money.”
“Money isn’t everything.”
“Says the person who has it.” Daria turned her head, grinning at him, tossing several of her braids over her shoulder as she did so. “It’s a lot harder when you’re the one struggling, especially if she’s had trouble her whole life. Does she want you to be her Sugar Daddy?”
“No.”
Taking another sip of beer, Q considered that.
Sam had a lot of pride. She’d had it back in high school.
She had it still. No, he didn’t consider it a big deal that she didn’t have money…
but that was because he did. He didn’t mind paying for things for her, but she minded, not something he’d really considered.
“Have you told her that you paid for her club fees?” Daria asked.
Another direct hit.
“No.”
“So, she’s not the only one who was keeping secrets.”
He wanted to protest that his secret had been to help her, and it had, but it had also been to help him.
It was also the kind of secret that felt good to do but knowing Sam…
there was a reason he’d kept it a secret.
She would have found it embarrassing. Would have hated knowing he was paying her way into Stronghold and Marquis, even if it was only a tiny portion of her way since she was working off the rest.
Dammit. Life would be simpler if she just let him shower her with everything he had…
But then she wouldn’t be Sam.
“I need to talk to her.”
“You need to talk to her,” Daria confirmed amiably. “Probably regret it if you don’t. Maybe come clean about the fact that you were paying for her club fees while she’s still feeling guilty about not telling you about the job stuff.”
Devious. Q had to laugh. He held out his beer bottle so Daria could clink hers against it in a toast.
“That’s the best advice you’ve had so far.”
Sam
Christmas was so much lonelier than she’d expected it to be, even though she was with friends.
She missed her dad, but she missed Q even more.
Not that he was going to be here, at Morgan’s, but she felt his emotional absence even more keenly than his physical.
She hadn’t heard from him since he’d texted that they’d talk when he got home.
Which meant she was on her own, completely, all week.
“Here, try the eggnog.” Morgan shoved a glass of frothy white liquid in front of her gleefully. At least someone was having fun.
Sam made herself smile. She knew Morgan was trying to cheer her up. Morgan and Noelle had been there for her for the past few days, though Noelle was spending today with her own family.
Sam and Kincaid had come over to Morgan’s in a kind of lonely-hearts-Christmas gathering, and they’d been surprised to find Amy there as well.
Apparently, her plans with her family had fallen through, and she hadn’t been able to get a flight to join her fiancé, so Morgan had invited her to join them instead.
If Sam wasn’t so down in the dumps about her own situation, she would be pretty entertained watching Kincaid and Amy dance around each other.
Neither of them seemed to know quite how to interact with each other when they were outside of the club and Zach wasn’t there as a buffer.
They were stiltedly polite, pretending to be relaxed.
Meanwhile, Morgan had gone all out for festive cheer.
Brian had helped her decorate the house they lived in, and it looked like Christmas had thrown up all over it.
The outside was festooned with lights, garlands, and a blow-up snowman family.
Inside, the couch cushions were red and green with gold writing, wishing season’s greetings upon anyone who entered the living room.
The giant Christmas tree next to the couch was covered in baubles, lights, and a giant star on top.
Every single surface in the main rooms had some kind of Christmas decoration on it, whether it was a candle, a nutcracker, a snow globe, or whatever.
Santa sat on a sleigh hitched up to eight tiny reindeer on the mantle above the fireplace where the stockings hung down.
It was like a child’s dream of what Christmas should look like, and Sam absolutely refused to ruin this for Morgan because she knew that’s exactly what this was—the Christmas Morgan had always wanted and never had.
She hadn’t missed that there were several presents under the tree from ‘Santa’—most likely from the Doms at Stronghold and Marquis who had all come together to help Morgan out.
Taking the eggnog from Morgan’s hand, Sam took a sip. Eggnog wasn’t her favorite, but this one was pretty good. Creamy, cold, and sweet but not overly so
“That’s good,” she said smiling, glad she could be honest about it.
Morgan beamed at her, then turned to serve glasses to Kincaid and Amy.
She was dressed up in a sexy Mrs. Claus dress with green and red striped tights.
Sam had gone for a red sweater and jeans, while Amy was wearing a sweater with Santa Claus riding a T-Rex for some unknown reason.
The T-Rex was also wearing a Santa hat. Kincaid had on a dark green button-down shirt and jeans, which was dressed up for him.
While Morgan was serving their drinks, Sam’s phone buzzed, and she was pathetically, desperately quick to check and see who was texting her.
Her heart started pounding in her chest when she saw it was Q.