Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Morgan
“I keep cuddling Asad in my sleep. I don’t mean to. It just keeps happening. He called it ‘cuddle migrating’ this morning.” Morgan stared glumly at the computer screen where Mistress Julie stared back at her.
“Did he seem upset?”
“No, but…” Morgan couldn’t quite put her finger on what bothered her about it. It had been a good morning. She’d woken up wrapped around Asad again. He’d chuckled and patted her hand, which she’d quickly removed from his body before he got up.
He’d been fine.
She’d been disturbed.
Mostly because she couldn’t figure out why she kept doing it and why she didn’t wake up once she did.
“Are you upset?”
“I don’t think upset is the right word. I don’t like that I’m doing something without knowing I’m doing it.” Yes. That felt right. “I also don’t want him to think that I’m clinging to him or getting emotionally involved.”
Mistress Julie’s eyebrows raised. Morgan hadn’t gotten to the whole ‘people told Master Asad no sex this week, but no one told me’ thing yet. She was working her way up to it. From the expression on Mistress Julie’s face, this might be a good time to bring it up.
“Sam told me that she overheard the guys telling Master Asad no sex this week. They think I’ll get confused if we have sex this week, even though we’ve had sex before.
And it wasn’t just his friends. I confirmed with him.
Master Patrick and Lexie even talked to him about it.
” She did her best to sit still, even though she was getting upset, pressing her hands down against her thighs to hold them in place.
Of course, that made her lean forward a little, and she found herself rocking a little. Which… helped. Since Mistress Julie didn’t say anything, she didn’t stop.
“How does that make you feel?”
Morgan had known the question was coming, so she had her answer prepared.
“Sad. Mad. Like they don’t trust me.” Because they didn’t. “Like I’m not getting to choose what I want.”
“Do you want to have sex with Asad?” Mistress Julie’s tone was carefully contained, and Morgan couldn’t tell what the Domme thought about it at all. At least she didn’t seem as though she was judgmental. If she thought it was a bad idea, it wasn’t showing on her face or in her voice.
“Yes.” Morgan tilted her chin up defiantly. Then her shoulders slumped. “But I don’t want anyone upset with me. Or him. I don’t see why it can’t be our business what we do.”
Which was why she couldn’t yet admit to her therapist that they’d already had sex. Wonderful, hot, painful sex she was still thinking about this morning. She did want to talk through all of it with Mistress Julie, and everything they talked about was supposed to be confidential, but…
There was also a part of her that wanted to keep it to herself.
Not because she thought Mistress Julie would tell anyone, but because right now, it was something about her that no one knew.
A thing that was hers and only hers. No one could judge her on it, no one could tell her she was doing the wrong thing, no one could change how she felt about it because they didn’t know.
“It should be. Do you understand why people are concerned?” Mistress Julie asked gently. Morgan pressed her lips together, moving her hands under her thighs so she was sitting on them, the pressure helping keep her focused.
“I do. I’m glad they care. But no one else has people meddling in their business.”
“Well…” Mistress Julie coughed, a small smile appearing on her lips.
She wasn’t known for smiling in the club, but she did it fairly often when talking to Morgan.
“That’s not strictly true. Our whole club runs on gossip and meddling.
I think half the club’s couples would have never gotten together if it wasn’t for meddling from their friends. ”
“Like who?” She couldn’t help her curiosity, which gave her a little taste of being on the other side of things.
Morgan had never meddled in someone else’s relationship. If she was going to meddle with anyone, it would be Amy. But she stayed out of it because it wasn’t her business. Right? Or was that the wrong thing to do?
“Well, for instance, when Sam and Q were assigned to each other for Q’s submission class, Master Patrick and Lexie had me and Master Law talk to them to make sure they were okay with being paired up. We were all worried they’d end up at each other’s throats.”
Huh. She hadn’t known that. It wasn’t quite the same thing, but… there were similarities.
“And believe me, Master Andrew had plenty to say about Master Law and Iris at first.” Mistress Julie’s dark eyes sparkled.
“Actually, Master Patrick meddled a lot when it came to keeping Iris at the club, in part because she’s Andrew’s sister but mostly because he could see she was a submissive in need.
” She tilted her head, giving Morgan a look that was effective, even over the computer.
“I still think I should be able to choose who I have sex with and when I want to have sex with them,” Morgan grumbled, then clenched her jaw because part of her couldn’t believe she’d just contradicted Mistress Julie.
Her pulse started to race a little faster, and a fine tremor went through her muscles.
“Good girl,” Mistress Julie said, as though she knew Morgan needed to hear those words. She relaxed. “You think that because you’re right. And I’m glad to hear you speaking up for what you want.”
Morgan frowned as a thought suddenly occurred to her. She knew Mistress Julie was right, that she should be allowed to speak up for what she wanted, and it was something they’d been working on.
“Is this a test? To see if I’ll rebel and have sex with Master Asad, even though I’m not supposed to?” She didn’t know how she felt about that.
From the way Mistress Julie’s eyes widened, her jaw dropping, Morgan thought if it was a test, no one had told her therapist. It only took the other woman a moment to think about it before responding.
“No.” She shook her head. “Patrick would have mentioned it to me if it was. But I’ll be honest, Morgan, he didn’t say anything to me about it.
I don’t know why he talked to Asad but not you.
Maybe he thought Lexie would. Maybe there was a miscommunication in there somewhere.
I honestly don’t know. But they wouldn’t have set this up as a test. My best guess…
they have your best interests at heart and didn’t realize how it would make you feel. ”
That did make her feel a little better. She didn’t like the idea that it was a test.
“But Morgan, choosing your own path through life is not rebellion. If someone doesn’t like what you’re doing, that’s for them to deal with.
Now, actions have consequences. If you do something someone doesn’t like, they might not want to spend time with you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t do it.
Especially when what they want is something that affects you and not them.
” Mistress Julie paused, waiting for Morgan to nod her head before continuing.
“If you decide to have sex with Asad this week, that is something that will be your decision… and should have been in the first place. I’ll have a talk with Master Patrick. ”
“No, don’t. Please.” She didn’t want to get Asad in trouble, and he might be if Mistress Julie was the one to talk to Master Patrick.
If Master Patrick or Lexie was upset that Asad told her, she wanted to know and also to defend him, whereas Mistress Julie would be more focused on protecting Morgan.
“I want to talk to him and Lexie. When I get back, I should be the one to do it.”
There was another long pause, then Mistress Julie nodded her head in agreement.
“If you feel up to it, I think that would be good for you and for them as well. The more they see you taking ownership of your decisions and your life, the better. You should be prepared for some pushback, though, as you take these steps. Not because people don’t want to see you grow but because there’s always some pain associated with change.
It’s probably going to be frustrating at times, for everyone, as they adjust to the new standard, but that’s normal, and it will work out in the end.
” A little smile haunted her lips. “This is what we refer to as growing pains.”
“I think I’ve been holding myself back because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone or have to go against anyone who has been helping me.
” Also, going with what other people wanted felt more natural to her.
It was what had been trained into her—starting with her parents, then Master Jason and Master Richard.
She saw that now, though she hadn’t at the time.
This week was the first time she’d really felt comfortable going against what others wanted of her, and that might be because they weren’t actually there to see her do it.
They would only know if she told them about it, and she currently wasn’t planning to, and neither was Asad.
Which might contradict the whole point of making her own decisions, but the important thing was that she knew.
Maybe it would help give her the courage to make a stand on making her own choices once she got back to D.C.
Choices she would actually tell people about.
In the meantime, doing it without telling anyone was good practice.
She squared her shoulders.
“I’ll talk to Master Patrick and Lexie about being able to make my own choices when I get back,” she said firmly.
“Good for you.” Mistress Julie nodded encouragingly.
They chatted for a few more minutes, then it was time to go.
Morgan signed off and leaned back in the chair.
Asad had let her have the room, going down to the hotel bar to meet up with Mason, Cyrus, and Anna.
He’d told her she could join them if she wanted to when she was done.
She wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted to.
The morning had been a lot of fun, watching Asad participate in the Jahāz Barān.
He’d explained it was a ceremony to bring presents from Anna’s family to Cyrus’ house, preparing the new couple for their life together.
He and the other groomsmen had dressed up in some festive traditional outfits and carried the gifts on their heads from the car into the house Cyrus and Anna shared.
The gifts had all come from Anna’s bridal shower.
Morgan had thought it was a beautiful way to combine the traditions of the different families, and she could tell it had meant a lot to Asad to be able to participate.
After that, everyone had stayed at Cyrus and Anna’s for a catered lunch provided by Anna’s family, then they’d broken up to do whatever they needed to for the afternoon.
For Morgan, that had meant her appointment with Mistress Julie, which she’d been grateful for. She really hadn’t meant to end up wrapped up around Asad again. But Mistress Julie was right, he hadn’t seemed to mind, and he hadn’t recoiled or acted any differently toward her today.
If anything, he’d been even more affectionate, though she knew he was playing that up for the benefit of his family.
His mom had been busy explaining things to some of Anna’s family, but she kept beaming at Morgan whenever they looked at each other.
It was simultaneously gratifying and uncomfortable.
She wasn’t sure she was ready to step back into the arena, so instead of texting Asad that she was going to join them, she checked on her social medias, making sure her scheduled posts and things were loading the way they should.
She texted her friends to let them know that Sam had been right about interfering Doms, but she didn’t tell them that she and Asad had had sex.
She still wanted to keep that to herself.