Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Savannah
I could have left. I could have chosen ignorance. I could have decided to turn a blind eye.
But I couldn’t.
I love Thayer, and that means loving every facet of him – even the unapologetically violent part of him that lives by a moral code so foreign to me it’s almost written in a foreign language.
I had to witness him see this through.
I had to watch him take the life of the man who would have tortured and killed me.
Loving him doesn’t mean turning my back on who he is, but accepting all of him.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to erase the image of what I heard and saw tonight. His cold, calculated voice and vicious, merciless actions.
I don’t know if I want to.
I’ve made the decision to stay. I’ve made the decision to love him.
And that means, I’ve made the decision to accept the code he lives by. I don’t want to shield my eyes from the fierce, sometimes cruel, reality of who he is.
If I love him, then I love all of him.
When we’re done – when my wounds are doctored and he calls in his cleanup crew to dispose of the last vestiges of violent and certain justice –
We go home.
Back to the Gerard family home.
When we arrive, bloodied and bruised, our clothing torn and ragged, his mother doesn’t even blink. “I’ll put you in the guest suite on the second floor,” she says pragmatically. “Do you need a doctor?”
Her inkling that we’re a couple might have something to do with the fact that he’s carrying me, and my arms are strewn around his neck.
Thayer shakes his head. “We’ve seen a doctor already. Everything else we need is in the suite.”
Not surprisingly, Thayer growled and cursed at the knife wound, insisting I get it cleaned up and bandaged.
I wonder what he has in that suite…
She nods. “Are you officially here?” Avril Gerard asks Thayer tentatively.
He gives her a wry smile. “I didn’t escape jail. I was released. I won’t be going back. So yes, I’m officially here and you don’t have to cover for me.”
She breathes out a sigh of relief and looks at me. “You two are together?”
I entwine my fingers with his and swallow hard.
A fierce realization hits me. I shouldn’t have left. I see now that I let my fear dictate my choices. Nothing, no person or danger or power on this earth, will keep me away from him.
I saw the way he looked at me. I saw the look in his eyes when he came for me. And I know why.
I know that Thayer loves me, and I know I’ll never, ever settle for anything less than this fierce, consuming, intense love of his. Of ours.
“We are.”
Avril smiles, her whole pretty face lighting up. “Good,” she says simply. “I’m happy to hear that.”
We head upstairs. The events of the past few days weigh heavily on my mind. I play them over and over and over again, until I wish I could push pause on the replay button and stop for a little while. I don’t want to think about any of this anymore.
Thayer and I have hardly said two words to each other.
And now it’s time.
I’ve been here many times, but I’ve really only ever seen the majestic, beautiful rooms they use for entertaining. I’ve never seen the inside of any of the bedrooms, much less his.
When I came here seeking refuge, I never imagined I’d be where I am today.
With Thayer… as his.
In his bedroom.
Craving a reconnection that transcends words, discussion, dialogue, and anything that human frailty demands to clumsily find our way back to truth and togetherness. Craving a reconnection that only the two of us understand.
On the cusp of telling him news that will change our lives forever.
We kiss on the landing. At first, it’s sweet and poignant.
My cheeks are wet with tears at the feel of his fingers in my hair, his lips on mine, and the naked truth of who we are together.
As we kiss, my protests fall away like our disguises, leaving nothing but our true selves.
I can hardly remember why I turned away to begin with.
With every step he takes toward his room, toward being alone and bared to each other once more, our kiss grows more sensual.
The thrilling touch of his tongue to mine.
The tingling current of arousal that threads its way through my belly and between my legs.
The swelling of my breasts pressed up against the wall of his chest. The ache to be filled by him.
The door shuts behind us like an afterthought.
He slides me down the length of his body to the floor so he can stand me up, then holds me as he drops to his knees, kissing his way down the length of my body. I gasp when he kisses my belly.
Does he know?
“Thayer,” I whisper, threading my fingers through his hair as he moans against my skin, as if savoring the scent, taste, and feel of me, committing them to memory.
“Savannah.” His voice is choked, vibrating with emotion.
He’s as vulnerable as a child when he meets my eyes, every guard he’s ever put up gone and in its place nothing but love and adoration.
“I thought I lost you. I thought they won. I made the decision that I would find you, that I would fight for you, that I’d do whatever it took to find you again and bring you back to me. ”
Kneeling in front of me, he presses his face to my thighs and wraps his arms around me, embracing me. Holding me to him as if he never wants to let me go.
“Thayer,” I repeat, my own voice tremulous. “I knew. I knew deep down inside that you’d come for me. I left because I was so angry with you. But I know now why you did what you did.”
“Yes,” he says, his voice taking on the harsh tone I’m so familiar with. “And I’d do it again. Jesus, woman, are you in a world of trouble when I get you back to the club.”
I can’t help but smile at that. I’m here for it.
“We’re going to put this all behind us,” he says. He saw to it with his own hands that no one will come after me now. Finally, finally, the danger has passed and now we face… us.
“I have something to tell you.”
His gaze meets mine and I can’t hold it in any longer.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out. After everything we’ve been through, he needs to know.
He blinks. Looks up at me as if I’d just told him I decided to move to outer space. Cups my ass in his big, strong hands and stares up at me.
“Say that again.”
Okay, so it’s safe to say he didn’t know.
I swallow the lump in my throat but can’t stop my voice from coming out all trembly. “I’m pregnant,” I repeat, this time on a whisper.
“You’re pregnant,” he repeats. “And you left?”
Uh oh. Now this is the Thayer I know.
Then he’s on his feet and I’m in his arms and he’s stalking to the big bed nestled in the corner of the room. It’s immaculate in here, as if no one’s been here in ages. I smile to myself at the obvious sign of Thayer’s perfectionism. Not a pillow out of place, as tidy as could be.
“They’re lucky they’re dead,” he growls. “They’re fucking lucky they’re gone. If I’d known—my God, I wish I could kill them all over again.”
Only Thayer.
I cup his jaw in my hand and bring his eyes to mine. “No more killing tonight, okay? No more ending dangerous threats or pounding your chest or brandishing weapons,” I plead with him. “Make love to me, Thayer.”
And so he does. In silence, we strip each other’s clothes off and toss them away, the remnants of a battle we fought and won.
We make our way to the bathroom hand in hand and shower together.
We lather each other up and wash every trace of violence from our bodies.
He kneels in front of me and worships my breasts, my thighs, my pussy.
He licks and fingers and gropes me until I’m half out of my mind.
I convince him to stand under the steaming hot water while I get on my knees and take his cock in my mouth.
I relish the feel of his hands in my wet hair, his powerful thighs beneath my palms, the way he moans when I lick and suckle.
He pulls out before he comes and yanks me to my feet.
Pressed up against the wall, he spreads my legs apart and lines his cock up at my entrance. I brace myself on the tile and moan at the first feel of his savage thrust. My sex clenches around him. The lump in my throat dissolves, and the tears wash away in the steady stream of water.
“You’re mine, Savannah.” I throw my head back as he thrusts again. “I love you.”
A thrill passes through me. “And I love you,” I whisper.
We make love, in this savage way of ours. He’s a savage but he’s my savage and I wouldn’t have him any other way.
I’m overpowered by him as I surrender, and nothing’s ever felt so right.
“I love you,” he repeats. “And I’m asking that you let me love you the only way I know how.”
Is this Thayer, my badass savage, asking me for permission?
I sniff and nod. “Of course,” I say as he stills within me, his cock and my sex throbbing. “I would love that.”
“Not always.”
“Maybe not always,” I concede with a laugh.
“And if you ever leave me again,” he says with a powerful thrust that feels both punishing and scalding, “you will see all that Le Luxe has to offer in the way of punishment.”
I smile and shiver. I don’t want him to punish me, and I don’t ever plan on leaving, but I am totally here for finding out all that Le Luxe has to offer.
We lapse into silence as we chase our pleasure. I peak when he does, his moans of pleasure mingling with mine. My body’s numb with pleasure and my knees tremble. He holds me against him as the hot water pelts against my heated skin.
“Thayer,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.” I turn to face him and bury my face in his neck. His arms come around me and he holds me, our naked skin pressed up against each other, steam rising like hope, engulfing us. “I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve trusted you.”
“I hate that you left, but not for the reasons you think. I hate that you left because I wanted you to trust me, and I didn’t even trust you enough to tell you I tracked you. I did it behind your back, and there’s no excuse for that.”