Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Amy
“Burn, baby, burn! Burn, baby, burn!” her friends chanted as she walked toward the fire, her arms full of fluffy whiteness.
Not just the initial friends she’d invited, either.
Somehow—thank you, club gossip train—word had spread about what she was doing tonight, and the group of supporters had quadrupled.
They were in Morgan and Asad’s backyard because they had a fire pit, and the whole backyard was full of submissives from Stronghold and Marquis.
Amy couldn’t help but laugh at everyone’s enthusiasm.
And she had to admit, as she threw the dress onto the fire, her heart did feel lighter.
Everyone cheered as the flames flared up, hungrily consuming the fabric and turning it from white to crisp black in the blink of an eye. The smoke billowed up, and Amy stepped back, her shoulders sagging in relief.
There.
It was done.
Watching the smoke curling up into the evening sky, she imagined all her humiliation, all her pain, all her resentment, floating up with it and disappearing.
Oddly, it worked. A sense of peace settled over her, the feeling of closing a door behind her on a chapter of her life she’d spent far too long in.
“So mote it be,” Freddy said, coming up beside her and slinging his arm around her shoulders. Amy laughed, leaning her head against him. “Can I just say I’m a little disappointed that your douchebag ex hasn’t called my office? I’ve been hoping I get to tear him apart a little.”
“Sadist in the streets, masochist in the sheets,” Sam teased from Amy’s other side.
“Aren’t we all?” Morgan asked.
“Oh, no, Amy is definitely not a sadist in the streets. A brat, maybe, but not a sadist.”
“Hey.” Amy turned her head to frown at Freddy, straightening up a little. “I can be mean.”
“Your version of mean versus my version of mean are two very different things,” he told her.
“He has a point,” Sam admitted.
Amy sniffed. She could be mean if she wanted to. She just… didn’t want to most of the time. Being mean didn’t make her feel good and there was usually no point to it.
But she totally could be if she wanted to.
“Who wants s’mores?” Someone called out, and everyone cheered again, making Amy laugh. She looked around. It was quite the collection of people, not all of whom got along, but they were all here to support her.
Marissa and Carolyn were on one side of the yard, shooting looks over at the other side, where Leigh was hanging out with some of her friends.
Amy didn’t agree that Leigh had stolen Marissa’s ex, but she also knew better than to think they would ever get along.
The fact that they were both here and not causing drama was a big deal since, normally, they couldn’t be in the same space together without Marissa doing something.
But she wasn’t. Because tonight was about Amy.
As if Marissa had heard her thoughts, she looked over and caught Amy’s gaze. She turned to say something to Carolyn, then started walking over. Amy gave Freddy a little squeeze, then slipped out from under his arm so she could meet Marissa halfway.
“I’ve got to head out. I have an early flight,” she said, which Amy already knew. She opened her arms for a hug, which Amy stepped into.
“Have a good trip.” Amy hugged her hard. Marissa wasn’t always an easy person to be friends with, not the least because half the time she wasn’t in town, but Amy had been more grateful for her friendship than ever over the past few weeks. “When are you coming back again?”
“In a few weeks.” Marissa stepped away, waving her hand. “Probably. I’m up for a part in California that’s right afterward. If I get that, it’ll be a few months.”
“I don’t know whether to wish you luck or not, then,” Amy teased. “Since selfishly, I’m not sure I want you gone that long.”
That made Marissa laugh.
“As if you could ever be selfish.” She hugged Amy again, then walked away, leaving Amy feeling a little odd.
Was that how everyone saw her? She couldn’t be mean, she couldn’t be selfish…
neither of those things seemed bad on the surface, but she couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how Jeremy had seen her, too.
Not just unable to be mean or selfish, but as a doormat.
Someone who wasn’t ever going to stand up for herself.
Someone who wasn’t going to ask for anything for herself.
She didn’t think she liked that idea too much.
“What’s with the frowny face?” Morgan appeared in front of her, a s’more in each hand. She held one out, offering it to Amy. “You were happy a few minutes ago. What did Marissa say?”
“It’s not something she said exactly, just… do you think I let people walk all over me?” she asked, taking the offered s’more. One of the best things about being friends with Morgan was that tact often escaped her. She was bluntly truthful, though she did her best not to be cruel or unkind.
“Sometimes,” Morgan said blithely. She bit into the s’more in her hand and made an odd face. “Huh.”
“What?”
Morgan looked down at the s’more in her hand, now slightly crumbled, and wrinkled her nose.
“I don’t think I like it.”
That… actually did not entirely surprise Amy. Morgan was the kind of person who ate salads because she liked them. She didn’t like most sweets. And s’mores were very sweet.
As she frowned at it, Rae, Domi, and Iris were walking up, and the expression on Rae’s face was even funnier than Morgan’s.
“I’m sorry, did you just say you didn’t like the s’more?” Rae asked, sounding scandalized.
Amy tensed a little, but thankfully, Morgan didn’t take offense.
“Yeah, I don’t think this is for me.” Morgan held it out toward Rae. “Do you want it?”
Rae didn’t even hesitate. “Yes, please,” she said, plucking it from Morgan’s fingers, then turning away from Domi, who had tried to reach for it too. “Mine.”
“You can share! It wasn’t even yours a second ago.” Domi glared at her.
“Mine.” Rae turned her head to take a massive bite out of it. “Go get your own.”
They all turned to look toward the fire, which was barely visible because it was surrounded by people toasting their own marshmallows. Morgan must have been one of the first people to make one. And she’d managed to make two.
“How are you feeling?” Iris asked Amy. “Any better?”
“A lot better, honestly,” she replied. “I know it’s silly, but it felt really cathartic throwing that dress in the fire.”
“I don’t think that’s silly. I’ve been thinking of burning some of the stuff from when Noelle and I were friends.” Iris sighed. “I just can’t decide if I would regret it or not.”
“I don’t. But that’s also the only thing I’m burning for right now.” She kinda wanted to go burn more stuff, but she’d wait to think about it. She didn’t want to burn something that she’d regret not having later.
Granted, she couldn’t think of anything to do with Jeremy that she’d regret not having, including pictures of the two of them together, but she wasn’t going to make any hasty decisions.
“How is living with the guys?” Domi asked, chewing on the bite of s’more Rae had finally given her.
“And scening with them?” Rae grunted as Domi elbowed her in the side.
“Don’t just dive in. You gotta work your way around to that,” Domi admonished her, making Amy laugh.
“Great and great. They’re really wonderful.” Which was about all she could say without starting to gush, so she was just going to cut it off there. She didn’t want anyone to realize that she was starting to get feelings for them that went beyond the scene or being housemates.
That would just make everything even more awkward.
Her phone buzzed in her back pocket, which, thankfully, gave her a reason to look away from everyone. Were they looking at her a little oddly, or was she just being paranoid? It wasn’t like they could read her mind and know that she was getting too attached to Kincaid and Zach.
Pulling out her phone, she stared at the Caller ID, unable to believe her eyes.
“Holy shit…” Morgan breathed out the words. “That bitch.”
“Who?” Rae stepped forward, looking down at Amy’s screen, and even though it was upside down to her, she obviously had no trouble reading the name. “Cuntcake?! She’s calling you?”
“The audacity!” Domi was equally furious.
Suddenly, the whole backyard was buzzing with energy, even more than her phone was, as the call continued to try to get through. Everyone knew Noelle was calling her.
Amy hit the button on the side of her phone, automatically declining the call.
“Wait, you aren’t going to answer it?” Carolyn came up behind Rae, looking almost aggrieved. “Don’t you want to know what she was going to say?”
Yes. No. Amy didn’t know.
“What could she possibly say that would make anything better?”
Everyone stared at her.
“It’s not about her trying to make it better. She can’t,” Carolyn said after a long moment. “It’s about you getting to say something to her.”
“What would I say to her? Never mind, it’s a moot point—” Just as she started to say that it was a moot point since she’d already declined the call, the phone started to buzz again.
“She’s calling back?” Rae shrieked with outrage. “I’m gonna— Mmph!” Whatever she was gonna do was cut off as Domi wrapped her hand around Rae’s mouth.
“Amy gets to decide what we’re going to do— Ew! Stop licking my hand!” Domi squealed, pulling her hand away from Rae’s mouth and wiping it on Rae’s shirt.
“Ew, don’t wipe it on me!”
“If you didn’t want it wiped on you, you shouldn’t have licked me!”
Amy didn’t know if they meant to make her laugh or not, but they broke the tension in a big way. Noelle had turned out to be a terrible friend, but that wasn’t Amy’s fault. She’d given the other woman a chance, and she’d gotten burned, but it was Noelle’s fault she’d squandered that chance.
Maybe some people would see being kind and unselfish as weak—maybe Jeremy and Noelle did, but she didn’t regret giving both of them a chance. That didn’t mean she was willing to give them another.
She sighed.
“I really don’t want to talk to her.”