9. Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
Finley
“They have no idea,” Lou says while typing away on her phone.
Cass and Carmen have agreed to distract Dave and Betsey before dinner—a ruse of brainstorming ideas for the nursery while the rest of us plan a last-day-of-vacation meal in secret. We decided to do something special for the two of them, especially considering they’re footing the bill for this trip. The resort manager has us crammed into her workspace so we can figure out the details.
For something on a remote island in the Indian Ocean, Mai’s office looks like a corporate room anywhere else in the world, save for a better view out the window. The sun has settled below the horizon, and an inky blue and purple are taking over the sky. Inside, though, are white walls, a desk with a walnut finish with a stack of papers on top, and a framed family photo. Mel takes one chair and Aaron gives Lou dibs on the other, but she stands instead.
As far away from me as possible.
“For eight people, we have a range of options at any of our fine dining establishments on the island.” Mai opens an accordion-style pamphlet covered with images of mouthwatering meals and untroubled couples. “Are you celebrating anything in particular?”
“Our dad’s cancerversary,” Lou says. “He’s in remission.”
“That’s why we’re all here,” Aaron adds. “The trip’s the celebration. But we wanted to surprise the parents with something extra special.”
“They deserve it.” I nod my head along with Aaron and Mel, but Lou scoffs. “What?”
“No, you’re right,” she says. “You’re good at deciding what people deserve.”
“Guys,” Mel says. “Whatever the problem is, deal with it later, please? We’re supposed to meet them for dinner in half an hour.”
We mumble in agreement, and I let my best friend and his wife take the lead so I can pull out my phone and tap out a quick message.
What’s up?
Lou glances at the screen in the bag, not bothered enough to take her phone out of her purse. She glowers at the device before painting sunshine back on her face and listening to Mai.
I get you’re pissed at me. You understand where I’m coming from, though. Right?
This time, she replies with the 100 emoji.
Lou’s cold shoulder all day has killed me inside. I never realized how much I seek out her reaction when someone says something funny, all because I want to witness her face bloom like a flower with a laugh. My mind’s always accounting for her and making room for her in the surrounding space, even if she doesn’t take it. Even if she straight-up ignores me.
Mai has everyone’s interest with the resort’s underwater restaurant, but I stare at Lou, willing her to glance in my direction. When she does, she mouths, What?
I text her again. I hate that I’ve upset you.
Her sigh comes out stifled, and she keeps her phone semi-hidden in her handbag while typing with one hand. Heard your message loud and clear, no means no.
A knife twists in my chest. I rejected Luna Moore, the object of my desires for years, though I never let my feelings go beyond dreaming. Did I make a mistake last night at the bar? I’ve spent so long assuming she would never feel the same way I do, but if she wants me, then that’s not me pursuing something in my imagination. It’s still risky, but different-risky.
If casual is all she’s looking for, though, I can’t give her that.
Once we’ve solidified the reservation for our final night, Aaron and Mel go to the resort store for some more lip balm, leaving me and Lou to walk to dinner in the dark on our own. A calmness has fallen over the island. The rhythm of the tide and the palm tree leaves shaking in the wind make up the soundtrack as we follow the dirt path to the Middle Eastern restaurant.
“Your parents’ll like that menu,” I say.
“Mhmm.”
“Specialty drinks and mocktails too. Real nice.”
“Yup.” She keeps walking, her head high and eyes straight ahead.
“Can we talk?”
“About?”
“Last night.”
“We don’t have to rehash this. I’d prefer if we didn’t. I understand,” she says, wrapping her arms around herself against the balmy evening. “To you, I’m Aaron’s little sister, first, last, and always. I’ll quit annoying you. Give you space.”
With a hand on her biceps, I pull her to a stop so she can face me. “I don’t think that.”
“Finn, I threw myself at you and you gave me every excuse possible. I should thank you for letting me down gently, but—” She flashes an all-good-here smile to a couple passing by, then whispers, “I’m done convincing guys I’m worth their time. And I get that there’s a whole lot of baggage here, more than you want, so can we move on?”
“No.” I guide her by her upper arm off the walkway and toward the beach. A cover of palm trees and brush and the sound of the water kissing the shore give us more privacy.
“I don’t see you just as Aaron’s little sister. But I can’t sort out what I am to you. Some convenient man to kiss at a bar when you’re playing a game with your friends? Someone to make out with when you’re sad about your ex?”
“You really need to get over him, because I have. I’m done with Tanner, and I have been for a while. I’d appreciate you not bringing him up anymore.”
“Okay, well…” I huff out an exhale. “Do you just want some convenient, casual thing or what?”
“Seriously, Finn?” She crosses her arms. “You are incredibly inconvenient. You’re Aaron’s best friend, my parents consider you a second son, and you’ve seen me at some of the lowest, most embarrassing moments of my life. If you were an ordinary guy, I could deal.”
“So then what do you want, Lou?” I ask, stepping toward her, close enough that I get a whiff of that heady, flowery aroma of hers. “You never answered before.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You know what I mean. Don’t worry about what your family wants, or your friends, or anyone else. Not what you imagine’ll look good or will win whatever game you wanna play. Put all the bullshit aside. Because I know what I want.”
“What’s that?” Her subdued voice gets half-carried out to sea.
I swallow, hoping I can still talk. “I want to learn everything about you. Find out what you like and what you don’t. Where you love to be touched. What drives you crazy in the best way. Good, bad, simple, complicated, messy, and imperfect. That’s what I want. And if you don’t, that’s fine. I’d understand. But I can’t put everything on the line for something you see as just a good time. So I need to know.”
“I—I want that, too.”
“What?” I swallow, though my throat feels full of sand.
“You.”
I drag her toward me and our mouths meet in a flurry—her arms around my neck, mine around her waist, our bodies pressed together as we stumble to regain balance as one. Her purse flies to the ground, and I trip over one of her flip-flops. She’s passion and sunny afternoons; her kiss is forward and seeking.
Jasmine—she smells like jasmine with a dash of spice.
I cup her head in one hand, willing us to somehow get closer. She matches my urgency with each nip and lick and whimper, so I can’t tell if I’m devouring or being devoured. Either way, I don’t want this to stop. She slips a palm under my shirt, and my breath hitches.
“Cold hands,” I murmur against her mouth.
“Warm me up, then.”
“How?”
“However you’d like.”
Her eyelids are at a sultry half-mast when I pull back. Lou might think she has to play along with whatever I want to do, but this needs to be for both of us.
“Lou,” I say in between kisses. “You’re not here to let me live out my fantasies. I’m interested in what turns you on. Doing things you like. So show me, or tell me.”
I trail my lips down her neck to her shoulder while she decides. How many times have I seen Lou’s shoulders in tank tops or strapless dresses? They’re downright divine up close.
“Mmm. We could…” She paws around at my zipper. “I could go down on you.”
The suggestion gets me harder, my cock pressing into my clothing and making my pants impossibly tight. “Is that for me or for you?”
“Uh,” she says, breathy.
“I don’t want to have all the fun. What about you? Do you want to come?”
She moans at this. That’s a yes, but she growls out an excuse. “We don’t have enough time.”
I give us both a little space, searching her eyes for an answer.
“We—Dinner’s in like fifteen minutes,” she says. “I need more time than that.”
“Challenge accepted.”
Her face breaks into a laugh. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I trace the strap of her dress with my forefinger, and she shivers against my touch. “Neither of us loses. You either have an orgasm, or you have a great time getting close.”
“And you?”
“I get to give you an orgasm.” I’m salivating at the thought of Lou coming. After years of admiring her from the sidelines, I could think of nothing better than hearing her sounds and seeing her face overtaken with ecstasy—and for me to be the reason. “Let me make you come. Please.”
“You can try.” She leans against the palm tree behind her, grabbing a fistful of my shirt so I follow her into a kiss.
In the darkness, I slip the string of her dress off her shoulders to expose one breast to the evening air. Her skin prickles with goosebumps, and her rosy nipple is pointed and hard.
“Fuck,” I mutter, wishing I could sink into her chest.
She gasps as I palm her, squeezing the pert peak between my thumb and finger. I create a path with my tongue down her breasts, lapping her up and sucking on the tips. She tastes salty with a hint of coconut. One of her hands weaves through my hair, firing me up like an engine. I want to do everything to this woman.
“Hand?” I ask. “Mouth?”
“Um. Both sound good.”
“Lou.” I give her a playful bite. “What do you want?”
“Your hand! Fuck, your hand.”
I smirk into her dewy skin, landing back on her mouth. Cupping her breast, my other hand trails up her thigh and lands on the lacy edge of her panties. I push the fabric aside to feel her—her velvety soft lips and delicate curls. When I part her folds, she’s slick already, and her eagerness makes my hard-on swell against the front of my pants. She tugs my shirt and her leg presses into my erection. The sensation makes me moan into her cheek.
Following the curves of her, I find her clit and press two needy fingers against her core. When I give her gentle strokes, Lou’s eyes flutter closed. Something changes. Her urgent want and feverish recklessness have worn off. She rests against the tree, in her own world and moaning every few seconds in a methodical, almost bored fashion. Panic rises in my chest. I came in hot with a sex-god attitude, and Lou’s getting about as much pleasure from this as a discount pedicure.
“Hey.” I suck her neck, determination setting in. “What do you need?”
“Nothing.” She opens her eyes, pasting on a sexy expression. “It’s really good. What about you?”
“I need you to not lie to me. Here, what do you like more?” I go from rubbing back and forth to tiny circles.
“Um. The second one?”
“How about this?” I give her clit a gentle squeeze between two fingers, which causes her hips to buck. Her reaction causes a devilish grin to flood my face. “Oh, that’s nice.”
“Y-yes. I like that a lot.”
“I don’t mind experimenting, trying things out with you, Lou,” I say, whispering into her ear as my hand finds a steady speed. “But you can tell me too. Never be afraid to tell me what you like. What you crave.”
She nods her head, her eyes drifting closed again. This time, though, pleasure’s written across her features as she bites the corner of her lip and whimpers.
“You deserve that, you know.” I pin myself against her, putting my weight behind the pressure of my hands. “To get what you want.”
“Always going on about what I want.” Her chest rises and falls, and I toy with her nipple again, causing her to garble something incoherent.
“I won’t stop talking about it, because maybe what you want is to ride my hand until you break.” She exhales, and I capture the sound with my mouth. “Or maybe you want my fingers inside you, filling you up.”
“That. Oh, Finn, I want that.”
When I slip my middle finger into her silky wetness, she gasps out Yes, Finn —a sound I intend to play on repeat in my mind until I die. Lou’s a vision, plastered against this tree while I worship her. With my thumb positioned on her clit, I fill her up with another finger, applying pressure in the extra-soft spot closest to me. Lou grinds her hips into me, and we fall into a slow, steady rhythm as she rides my hand. I’ve never seen her like this—raw and needy and desperate. I’m kissing her again, sucking up as much of this moment as I can.
“So good,” she mutters.
“Could do this all night.”
“I think I’m close, but—” She has both arms around my neck, clinging to me for dear life. “I’m loud.”
“Then be loud, baby girl.”
“No. We’re outside.”
“Trust me,” I say, pressing my forehead to hers and inching my fingers closer and closer. “I’ve got you.”
“Finn,” she says in a moan. Her face screws up in pleasure, but before she can alert the entire island, I cover her mouth with mine, letting her growl and groan into me as her body tightens around my fingers. To anyone passing by on the nearby walkway, we’re a wild animal in the brush.
Lou’s breathing evens out, and I kiss down her shoulder again, replacing the strap of her dress. When I remove my hand from her, my body aches from the loss. When her eyes open, her pupils are two black holes reflecting the twinkling stars above.
“We have three and a half minutes,” I say, checking my watch. “Might be a couple late. We can blame it on a sea turtle sighting. Shouldn’t take us long to walk over there.”
“Not sure if I can walk right now.”
I laugh, relishing this post-orgasmic glow of Lou’s. Her flushed cheeks, her kiss-swollen lips, and her contented smile.
“What about you?” she asks.
“I enjoyed that just as much as you did, trust me.” I lead her away from the tree, finger-brushing her hair so everyone at dinner won’t know what we got up to in our free time. “Besides, no need to rush anything. It lets me savor you.”
Lou flattens hands down her dress, adjusting herself. “Do you think…We shouldn’t mention this to anyone, right?”
“No.” A sharp, familiar pain hits my chest. “You can keep me your dirty little secret.”
“Hey.” She links her hand in mine and squeezes. “That’s not what I mean. Whatever this is, it’s new. Like you said, no rush.”
While I’ve been pining away for Lou for years, she’s only started seeing me as more than a friend. I don’t want to move too fast and lose her, or lose what I have with the rest of the Moores either.
She drops my hand, and we walk side by side to dinner. Just another couple in the night.