5. Where Everyone Crowds The Empress （And Her Exhaustion Intensifies…）
WHERE EVERYONE CROWDS THE EMPRESS (AND HER EXHAUSTION INTENSIFIES…)
“OH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT?”
Erato literally bounced on her boot heels as she cornered Hera in her office.
“Which God? You prefer Goddesses anyway. And that was Vengeance in her natural environment and her perfect, most refined state of being. Deadly.” Aphrodite made herself comfortable on the ivory sofa by the windows.
She waved her fingers, and the smallest bear appeared as if on command with a tall flute.
“That better be apple cider.”
The second the words left her mouth, Hera knew all eyes in the room were on her. Come to think of it, why were so many of them in here? In her very secluded, very private office?
“Oh, don’t even bother.” Demeter reclined on the cushion next to Aphrodite and unceremoniously took a sip from her flute. “It is some kind of fizzy monstrosity, but it is not alcoholic.”
Aphrodite only managed an indignant “hey” before Erato also tasted her drink.
“It’s that new Ambrosia-Lite flavor Zeus’s formerly new, currently ex girlfriend—like the one from three girlfriends ago?—put on the market. ” she said.
“Eww!” Both Demeter and Aphrodite made disgusted faces.
“I mean, it is kinda tasty, but out of solidarity with you, Your Majesty, I shall never touch the cursed thing again. Why are you stocking it?”
The bear looked like a deer in headlights before Hera rolled her eyes and motioned for him to go.
“Drink your little fizzy water, Dite.” The eyes in the room were suddenly even more focused on her. These people drained her.
“What? I don’t care about Zeus’s girlfriends. The one from three girlfriends ago, or this one.” Hera said, and reached for a document from her desk, just to occupy her hands.
Gasps all around followed her statement.
“You cannot be serious!” Demeter passed Aphrodite’s glass back to her
“I do not believe this!” Dite took a gulp and set it down. “Gross. It’s tasty, but gross, if you know what I mean. Solidarity. Never again.”
“No way, no how!” Erato perched on the edge of Hera’s desk, clearly feeling way too conformable for everyone’s good.
“I miss the beautiful old days when you all hated or ignored me.” Hera pressed her fingers to her temples.
“I mean, once you literally engineered my eternal happiness, there was no chance I’d ever hate or ignore you ever again. You’re my favorite sister-in-law.” Erato laid her hand on her heart.
“Hestia will be wounded, I’m sure.” Hera drawled.
“Hestia knows when to mind her business. Which reminds me, we have not seen head nor tail of that woman in ages. Where is our sister again, Hera?” Demeter took another sip of Aphrodite’s drink and made another face.
“She’s off living her best life, I imagine. Alone. With no one to bother her. Which is something I can only dream of. And you know this club has a bar that stocks over a thousand brands of drinks? All of you could just get your own drinks.” Hera wondered.
“Eh, no time.” Demeter patted Aphrodite’s stomach.
“No time?” Hera lifted an eyebrow.
“Nope,” Aphrodite stretched gracefully, her high heels hitting the plush carpet floor with a muted thud. “Only time to ask you what the hell—sorry, Hades—just happened?”
Hera closed her eyes. She felt tired. Also wired in the exact wrong way. The wrongest way possible. She felt a pressure low in her abdomen, the desire to rub her thighs together to release it—
Oh…
“Oh indeed.” Aphrodite’s smile was all sly knowing.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Hera knew her words had come out a little too quickly.
“Sure you don’t. But just as surely, you know better than to attempt such a lie in the presence of the Goddess of Love.
And the Muse of Smut. And while I am just a mere Goddess of Harvest, the way these two rushed to get your ass alone here to gossip told me all I needed to know. What gives, sister?”
Demeter’s face was all cat that just savored a particularly juicy canary. Hera did not like it one bit.
“Is the privacy of my affairs too much to ask for?” She deliberately lowered her voice. Erato made herself even more comfortable on the desk, now sitting fully on it, absolutely undeterred.
“So there’s an affair?” Demeter grinned. Erato winked at her before leaning closer to Hera.
“Here’s the thing. And you tell me if I’m wrong. Like blink or something. I think Nemesis is trying to seduce you. AND IT’S WORKING!”
Erato lifted her voice and her arms above her head. Demeter nodded. Aphrodite giggled.
“Would work on a corpse, Hera. And while you’ve been dead for centuries, even you are not that dead.” Aphrodite shrugged.
“A corpse is by definition dead, Dite. And where is that derelict wife of yours that lets your pregnant self gallivant all around by yourself these days?” Hera aimed a particularly vicious glare at the Goddess of Love, who stared back unrepentant as she answered.
“Teaching something. Don’t worry about my marriage.
You made sure it worked this time. Don’t deny it.
I know a blessing when I see, feel, and carry one.
Weeks into the matrimony, too. So when you go around blessing people—did you mean to swell this planet’s population to eight billion, because why?
—and gods and goddesses, you really thought nobody would notice?
What gives, Hera? Next, we shall hear about Artemis forgoing her vow of chastity or something equally amorous. ”
Everyone gasped. Hera shook her head. Artemis was a conversation for another time.
Erato leaned closer. “I thought you wanted Zeus back?”
“Oh titans, give me strength!” Demeter covered her eyes with her palms. “Tell me you do not want that!”
“They’re all dead, though? Zeus killed them, I thought? Titans, I mean.” Erato looked uncomprehendingly.
“Like he just killed the mood I have for this conversation. He tends to do that. Why did you have to bring that clit-shrinking asshat up? I thought we were talking about Vengeance?” Aphrodite’s voice was all disdain.
Hera sighed. The words spilling all around her were giving her a migraine.
“I don’t want to talk about Zeus. Sabine will take care—”
“I KNEW IT!” Erato jumped down from the desk and ran a circle around the office before stopping in front of her future wife and giving her a loud smooch. “I fucking knew Sabine was out of retirement! Oh, Fates, that woman shall never rest.”
Aphrodite gave Hera a long stare.
“She promised me never again, Hera. She shot her last arrow at Beltane. She missed. Or, well, not missed exactly. Nemesis evaded her.”
Erato whistled.
“So I heard, even though I’ve yet to find out who the supposed Perfect Match for Nemesis was. Because whoever she was trying to shack Vengeance up with… Good luck to them.”
Hera lifted her face so fast that her head spun.
“What are you even talking about? Nemesis is not paired with anyone.” Hera tried to choose her words carefully. “And before you give me any more grief, I asked her for help with an issue. She’s doing just that.”
She tried to look as nonchalant as possible. Even glanced down at her nails.
“Nemesis doesn’t help anyone, Hera.” Erato’s voice was quiet. “Did you promise her a favor? Because that’s—”
“Stupid. That would be stupid. She is dangerous. And she is—”
“Demeter.” Aphrodite laid a quelling hand on Demeter’s forearm. “Before we go accusing Vengeance of evilry… Which is not here or there at this point—”
“That is exactly the point, Dite. She has ravaged nations for less than a favor. She has decimated countries and continents. The disasters she has incited. The murder. The waste she has laid…”
Demeter stood up and reached for Hera’s hand.
“You think you can control her, sister. But you cannot. She might be fun for a flirtation or a one-night stand, but don’t become indebted to her. You’ll lose your soul.”
Erato whimpered then coughed. Then bit her lip. Then let it go before visibly chewing on the inside of her cheek.
“Seeing the entire thought process on your face is mildly fascinating, Muse.” Hera shook off Demeter’s touch.
Erato grimaced.
“I mean, she is Revenge. But also, she is super hot. And you are… well, you? So, it might not be such a bad idea?”
Suddenly, there was total silence in the office. Aphrodite’s eyes narrowed in what appeared to be deep consideration of all the possibilities. Hera’s chest tightened, but she had had enough.
“How about this? And I would like you to listen to me very carefully when I say this. Because it is extremely important to me that you do.” Hera whispered. The three women leaned closer. “Get out of my office and stop interfering in my life!”
The scramble that followed was a sight to behold. Hera laughed for a long time as she sat all alone in her space, not looking at the card smeared in red ink on her desk.