Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
MILLIE
T he sun coming through my window eventually pulls me from my slumber the following morning, and I roll over, savoring the feeling of waking up without an alarm. Last night on the way home, Brian insisted I take the day off and I accepted, eager for the opportunity to sleep in after all the early mornings and late nights we’ve had this week.
Rolling over, I grab my phone and see that I managed to sleep until almost nine. Noticing I have a few missed texts, I smile when I see Brian’s already sent me something this morning.
Brian: Good morning. I’m running over to Saddle Ridge to meet with the contractor that’s about to start working on the repairs for City Hall, but I’ll be back this afternoon.
Brian: Also, I stopped by Deer Valley to grab some paperwork I left in the office on the way out of town and grabbed you a coffee. It’s in the microwave when you get up. Enjoy your day off, and you better not let me catch you working. Relax today… that’s an order.
My stomach dips at the tone of his text. It’s incredible how fast he can go from being a perfect gentleman to a man who has me willing to drop my panties at the drop of a hat.
When he told me last night that he wasn’t going to make a move until I asked him to, I’d been ready to drop to my knees and do whatever I needed to feel his hands all over me. But of course, we got interrupted again, and the last kiss we shared had been sweet and gentle compared to the last two, like he was determined to savor it. Then, on the way home, he was back to his usual polite demeanor, asking me about my favorite music and books before walking me to my room and telling me to spend the day in bed or doing whatever else I wanted. And now, he’s sending me bossy texts and bringing me my favorite coffee…
Dear Lord, bless and strengthen any self-control left within me because I’m pretty sure it’s so far gone, I think it might be halfway to Texas by now.
Me: Oh, that was sweet. You didn’t have to do that.
Brian: I know I didn’t have to, Millie. I wanted to.
Brian: Also, Huey called this morning. He wants to know if we’re up for dinner tonight. I told him that would probably be fine, but I needed to check with you first. Does that work for you?
Me: Sure, that’s fine. And thank you, Brian.
Brian: You’re welcome Mills. Now, enjoy your day. I’ll be home around four.
Me: Yes sir.
Clicking out of his messages, I see that I also have a few texts from my sister. Oh, God… Lizzie is going to go ballistic when I tell her what happened last night. Groaning, I tap her name, deciding I may as well get it over with. Plus, I wouldn’t mind having her opinion on the situation because I’m pretty sure I’ll drive myself crazy if I sit here reliving it all day by myself.
Lizzie: Okay, sorry sis. I literally JUST got finished taking care of that fashion emergency. I need sleep and that IV of coffee Lorelei Gilmore was always talking about…
Lizzie: BUT enough about me. I need updates on my favorite small town mayor.
Lizzie: Please tell me something else happened…
Well, here we go.
Me: Good morning! Dang, that sounds serious.
Me: What happened at work?
Lizzie: Oh, just something with one of our fabric manufacturers. I’ve spent the last twelve hours on the phone with the company in Switzerland trying to get it sorted.
Lizzie: Stop trying to distract me though.
Lizzie: What’s happening between you and Mr. Mayor?
Lizzie: Please tell me it’s something dirty…
Me: Ummmm…
I’ve barely sent the text before my phone lights up with an incoming call. Before I press it to my ear, I can already hear Lizzie’s screech through the speaker.
“I knew it. You better start talking, or I swear to God…” she says, causing me to laugh.
“Well, hello to you too, sis,” I say sarcastically.
“This is no time for small talk, Millie,” she screams. “What the hell happened? I need details. I’m literally dying here.”
“Okay, okay. My word, I’d totally hate for you to be dramatic,” I tease. “But it’s really not a big deal.”
“Hmm, I think I’ll be the judge of that. Now, spill!”
“Fine!” I say, finally giving in. “We had a moment last night…”
“Andddd,” Lizzie says impatiently.
“We got stuck in the maze when the lights went out. We talked about the kiss, and he said he didn’t regret it. But then…” I say, purposely dragging it out to see what Lizzie will say.
“Mills, I love you, but I swear on all things holy if you don’t spit it out, I’ll—” she starts, and before she can say anything else, I cave.
“He told me he didn’t want to push anything because of the inn, so if I wanted him, I was gonna have to beg,” I blurt, and I’m met with silence on the other end of the line. “Lizzie, are you still there?”
“Bitch, then what the hell are you doing talking to me instead of asking him to fuck you till you can’t walk straight?” she yells.
I can’t contain my laughter at her outburst. “Liz!” I scold.
“Sis, I’m sorry. I know you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, but this is where you get on your knees and go for it. I mean, really, how does it feel to be God’s favorite?”
“Lizzie. This is serious,” I yell, shaking my head at her response as I rise from the bed and make my way into the kitchen for my coffee.
“Trust me, Mills, I know. Do you know how many horrible first dates I’ve been on? Things like this don’t just happen. On the last date I went on, the guy insisted he wanted to pay for dinner. Afterward, we went out and had a good time but at the end of the night I refused to sleep with him. Millie, I shit you not, he tried to mail me an itemized bill for what I cost him since I wouldn’t put out… So basically, you have to go for him,” Lizzie encourages.
“I know, I know… I’m going crazy here, Liz. But also, I’m terrified. There are so many ways this could go bad,” I confess.
My sister lets out a sigh on the other end of the line before saying softly, “I know, but you can’t let that fear stop you from going after him, if it’s what you want.”
“But what if he leaves me? Decides one day that I’m not good enough like Allen did. Think about it… One moment, and ten years were gone just like that. Don’t get me wrong, I can see now that we were never right for each other, and I’m absolutely not sad to be divorced from him, but I don’t know if I can do it again, Lizzie.”
“Oh, Mills…” my sister says, her voice softening at my confession. “First of all, do you really think that you can compare Allen the Asshole to this whole situation? I know I haven’t met Brian in person, but from what you’ve said the two couldn’t be more different if they tried. And I love you sis, but that cheating bastard took the last ten years of your life…are you really gonna give him any more control over your happiness? If you ask me, it’s time you choose yourself, whatever that looks like.”
I pause for a moment, realizing she’s right. I haven’t been selfish or done anything just because I wanted to in over a decade. All my decisions in my old marriage were made to keep the peace, when I was even given a decision in the first place. I’ve sacrificed so much of myself, without ever stopping to think what I actually want. If I’m honest, I want to pursue whatever’s building with Brian. There’s no guarantee that it won’t end in disaster, but if I don’t let myself go for it, I have a feeling I’ll never forgive myself. And despite the fact that I’ve only known Brian for a few weeks, I know that he would never treat me the way my ex-husband did.
“You’re right, sis. I’m sorry, I just don’t want to screw this up,” I tell her as I take the to-go cup out of the microwave and sip my latte.
“Mills, I’m pretty sure the only thing you should be worried about screwing is that boss of yours,” she teases, back to her usual demeanor.
“Okay, okay, I get it!” I say with a laugh.
“All right, sis, I’m about to pass out, but you better keep me updated. Now, go ride ‘em cowgirl, or whatever they say down there,” she teases.
“Yes, ma’am. Love you big,” I tell her, with a laugh.
“Love you bigger, Mils,” she replies.
As I end the call and sit in the empty living room, I have to admit that I’m already feeling more at ease. Lizzie’s right: if I want a chance at exploring things with Brian, I’m gonna have to go for it.
“So, Millie, the mayor here doesn’t have you working too hard, does he?” Huey asks later that night as we finish dinner.
I let out a laugh at the question before looking across the table where Brian’s sitting. He’s currently running his fingers across my knee under the table, and I feel like I’m seconds away from losing it and begging him to kiss me again, despite the fact we aren’t alone right now. Dragging myself out of my daydreams, I pretend to consider my response for a few seconds before saying, “Hmm, I guess he’s been all right.”
Huey laughs at that, before saying, “Well, girl, you try to keep him in line.
Huey opens his mouth to ask something else when his phone rings. “Hello…yeah… Are you sure? Okay, yes, ma'am, I’ll be there in just a minute… Yes, ma’am. See you then,” he says to whoever's on the other line before looking at us apologetically.
“Sorry, y’all. That was Miss Agnes. Apparently, she’s having some trouble with her shower, and the damned thing is spraying water everywhere. She needs me to come by and give her a hand. I’m sorry to have to run, but I’m gonna have to cut tonight short, I’m afraid,” he admits, already standing from his seat.
“Oh, it’s no problem,” I tell him, grabbing our plates and starting to clean the table.
“Yeah, none at all. Do you need any help?” Brian asks Huey as he shrugs on his jacket.
“No, I’m sure it won’t be anything too time consuming, but I appreciate the offer. Y’all just leave the mess, and I’ll take care of it when I come home,” he says, moving toward the door before stopping. “Damn it, I just realized I haven’t fed the cows yet. I’ve got the buckets of feed ready to go, but I ran out of time to throw them in the trough. Would y’all mind dumping ‘em when you head out?
“Sure, that’s no problem. I was hoping to get to see them again anyway,” I reply honestly as Brian and I move to follow him out. “Thank you again for dinner.”
“Of course, y'all don’t be strangers, ya’ hear?” Huey calls out over his shoulder, already halfway to his truck.
As he pulls out the driveway, I turn to Brian before saying, “All righty then, let’s do it.”
Damn it, that didn’t come out right .
“Thought you’d never ask,” he teases, and I try to ignore the smirk on his face at my comment while he steps to the side of the house and grabs the buckets of feed.
His meetings in Saddle Ridge ran longer than planned this afternoon meaning this is the first time we’ve been alone since last night. I spent the afternoon worrying that it would be awkward, but instead I just feel the desire that seems to be constantly building between us. Each time his hand brushed my arm in the car, or his leg bumped against mine under the dinner table, I became more aware of the way my body was responding to him, and after spending the day thinking about begging for him, I’m desperate for us to be alone and have a chance to talk.
We walk in silence for a moment, carrying the buckets of feed toward the troughs by the gate a couple hundred yards ahead of us. As we walk, his arm bushes mine and I feel the most intense need to feel his hands on me. God, I want him to touch me. The night is dark, the moon hiding behind the clouds and making me squint to see in front of us. The further we get from the house, the harder it is to see, but Brian seems unfazed as he leads us over to the old wooden feeding spot for the cattle.
“Come on,” he hollers, rattling the feed around in the bucket. “Dinner time, come on.”
All of a sudden, the cows are everywhere, mooing their demands for us to dump the buckets by our feet into the trough on the other side of the gate. After a moment Brian obliges and dumps both of his buckets, and we step back to watch them eat. He’s standing so close, all I want to do is reach out and pull him to me, but just as I’m trying to talk myself into going for it, I notice the small calf I fed the last time I was here making her way over. She sticks her head through the metal gate, ignoring the feed and waiting for us to focus our attention on her. Reaching out my hand, I spend a moment rubbing her cold snout, and she lets out a happy moooooo, making me laugh.
“God, it’s not fair. Even the animals are obsessed with you,” he teases, bumping me gently with his shoulder.
My body heats at the contact, and I resist the urge to lean into him too much before rolling my eyes in his direction.
“So…” he says as I give the calf another pat and turn to face him. “I’ve barely talked to you today. Did you enjoy your day off?”
“Yes, it was wonderful. I went on a long run and spent the rest of the day watching my favorite Christmas movies,” I respond as he reaches out, touching the belt loop on my jeans and tugging me toward him. My breath hitches at the contact, and I take a breath to steady myself before deciding to continue. “I also did a lot of thinking.”
“Oh, is that right?” he asks, his tone more serious than before. “About…”
“What you said last night,” I continue as he traces his hand through my hair, my nerves building in my stomach at the confession I’m about to make until I feel nauseous.
“Hmm, and what did you decide?” he prompts, both of us unable to look away from the other.
I take a deep breath before looking at him and saying, “Brian Jones, would you please fuck me?”