13. Zara
Zara
“Where is he?” I grumble. My leg bounces with agitation. “This is ridiculous.”
He’s not even been gone that long, and I miss him already? What the hell is happening to me? The longer I’m around him the more of him I need. The pain that sent him searching for medicine in the first place, has disappeared and is replaced with another ache.
A more carnal need that starts directly between my legs. My hand halts my bouncing leg and I press them together as the need spreads. We’ve laid together night after night, and he’s yet to try anything more than kissing. The noble fucker is sticking to his word, and it’s starting to piss me off.
Yes, I know I told him that you should never try to fuck someone without their permission, but I didn’t think that meant he would never ask again. So here I am, horny and needy for a man, and all I got is one with zero experience. Who doesn’t know that now is a good fucking time to make a move.
You make the move, ya idiot. If you want him, take him. It’s not like he’d stop me.
My mind reels over the idea for the hundredth time.
Every other time, I have shrugged off the feeling, and just put it down to being in close proximity.
Then it was because of how handsome he is.
Then how thoughtful he is towards my needs.
Followed by how amazing he smells, even though he doesn’t use aftershave.
Now I realise that it is just everything about Xin that has me like this.
Everything about him calls to everything in me.
He’s your mate ya numpty.
I’ve tried to brush it off, but it’s about time I embrace everything I've been told while here. Santa is a real fucking person, who has aliens now humans that shift into reindeers, and I just so happen to be mated to one of them. Xin - Vixen. The more I say it to myself, the less strange it sounds.
The world is a wonderful and weird place. Why can’t mine be a magically happy place where I have a mate who will never hurt me, and love me as I am forever? Forever.
The word clicks something in my mind, and as if a lightbulb goes off in my head, I stand up and hobble for the door.
I don’t have a clue how I'm going to explain to my family that I am never coming back to Scotland to live, but I need to let Xin know that I am ready for forever with him.
Which starts with our first fuck, and the needy bitch in me needs him inside me right now.
Excitement bubbles in my belly at the thought of his reaction. Will his pupils dilate? Will his eyes darken in that sexy way they do when he sees a little more of my skin than he is used to? Will he just grab me, and throw me over his shoulder before taking me back to his bed?
Goosebumps rush over my arms as all the sexy scenarios continue to make themselves known in my horny mind. My nipples pebble at the thought of his soft lips wrapped around them, one at a time. The ache between my legs makes my fast pace turn into an awkward skip as I hunt down my man.
Murmured voices at the bottom of the stairs tell me I’m getting closer, and my breathing picks up with my excitement. I run into the room, but stop as if i’m wearing lead filled shoes, and someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water on top of my head.
“What on God’s green earth is going on here?” I squeak before trying to clear the fear from my voice.
The usually cozy room looks like a warzone. The table is smashed down the centre, lying in pieces. The comfy chairs have their padding and stuffing bursting from tears in different places. Mugs are shattered and hot chocolate is seeping into the edges of the rug. And, is that blood on the walls?
One look at Rudy who is being cleaned up tells me that it is indeed blood. Panic hits me when I realise something is missing. Or rather, someone.
“Where is Xin?”
Everyone’s eyes turn to me making me feel like a goldfish in a bowl. Sadness, and dare I say, a little guilt shines in their eyes. All of them apart from Rudy.
What is that guy's problem? Would it kill him to crack a smile?
I turn to Dash; as Xin has told me he’s the one who’s helped him adjust here. So I’m hoping he will be honest with me, and when the others avoid looking my way, I know my choice is right.
“Where is he, Dash?” My voice is sounding stronger the more pissed off I get.
He drops the bloodied cotton on the broken table and starts rubbing the back of his neck, clearly thinking of what information to tell me. That’s when Rudy stands with purpose, and locks his eyes on me.
“Vixen is having a compulsory nap, courtesy of Santa,” he spouts, folding his arms over his chest.
My eyes widen in confusion. “Why would Santa do that?”
“Because your ‘mate’ can’t handle the truth,” he spits at me, making Dan elbow and give him a death stare.
The truth? Why do I feel like I'm about to be thrown into a vortex with no life jacket? My shoulders sink and I wait as the guys carry on.
“Shut up Rudy,” Dash warns too, but I can’t see any further than his jibe about the truth. Somehow, I know it’s got something to do with me. I fold my arms to comfort myself, though he no doubt thinks I'm trying to mimic his stance. I take a deep breath and ask the burning question.
“What truth, Rudolph?” I use his reindeer name, knowing it pisses him off. Only his Eve and Santa get that privilege. His eyes blaze at me and I get a little satisfaction knowing that he’s livid.
Good.
But it’s short lived once he starts talking.
“You wanna know the truth, do you? The truth is, you’re the fucking problem.”
I rear back as though he’s slapped me, but he continues to tear me a new arse.
“You are meant to be his fucking mate, but you haven’t done the main thing mates are supposed to do. MATE!” He shouts, making me jump and step further back. Dash grabs his arm to stop him advancing on me, but nothing stops his mouth now that he’s on a roll.
“Until Xin links with his true mate, we aren’t at our full strength. So you’re unwillingness to open your fucking legs is impacting us all. We might not be able to fly Santa’s fucking sleigh. Don’t you get that?”
“Rudy, you’ve said enough.” Dan tries to push him away, but he holds his ground.
“I haven’t said nearly enough!” He tries to dislodge Dash’s grip, but thankfully it’s ironclad.
“You are wasting his fucking time. He thinks you’re his mate because he heard your call.
None of us have ever heard our mates call.
Ever. We’ve smelled their scent and known they are ours.
And here you are, still untethered after all these days in his company.
It can only mean one thing. His mate is still out there while he’s here with you. ” He sneers.
“Enough Rudolph!” Santa’s voice booms out from behind me.
I turn to him with tears streaming down my face, praying for him to say everything is a lie.
When he doesn’t speak straight away, the silence is deafening. No one is calling Rudy a liar. No one. At most they were telling him to stop. That must mean… My heart sinks, and I take off running before the loud sob can claw its way out my throat.
My feet pound on the wooded floors but I can’t hear anything over the rushing of my blood.
The hammering of my heart and the loudness of my own thoughts.
Stupid silly wee girl. Did you really think that you would be someone's true choice?
You? Over the millions of women in the world?
No, I was a damsel in distress and the lines got blurred.
Story of your fucking life. You were going to stay here with a man who would eventually leave you when he smelled his true mate.
No one has ever heard their mate, why would you be the first?
“Jesus, how could I be so fucking stupid?” I blubber when I enter our room—well Vixen’s room. My tender ankle starts to throb, but I ignore it while rushing over to my snow gear and frantically pulling it on.
I need to get the hell out of here.
I was going to escape before I lost my mind and started believing their bullshit fairytales; well there's no time like the present. I wipe my snivelling nose on my sleeve before carefully putting on my boots.
I don’t know how long I'm going to be walking, the last thing I need is to freeze to death too.
I stand up and find myself willing Xin to walk in and stop me. Tell me it’s all a big mistake. That we are fated mates, meant to spend our lives together, but that’s not going to happen is it? And because of that, I can’t stay.
I take a deep breath and his scent fills my lungs.
I pick up a shirt he’d worn, and bury my face in it.
Taking in one last whiff. It inevitably hurts my heart, but I need it.
In fact, I’m going to take this. Call it a souvenir.
I shrug, heading for the door, determined to get back to my lodgings.
Get my stuff, board a plane, and never see this place again.