25
Elise
I was running after them in the woods before it really even set in. Branches and thorns snag on my clothes and skin; I whip past as if they are nothing.
Shawn. Still. Loves. Me.
And he’s in pain. And I don’t care about whatever feral means or if he is more dangerous under the full moon than he had been any night before.
All my reservations, my hesitations, are gone, along with one of my shoes. Adrenaline pumping through my veins and my heart beating wildly, I’m not even sure where they are anymore. All I know is that I need to be there for him.
This whole time, we were both just hurting over the thought that the other might pull back first, would be the first to give into that fear. This whole time, I had ached for what it meant to be loved by him, to trust him, and let him hold my heart in his hands, and he had been in that same place, needing it from me.
This whole time, I’d been so scared of being hurt by him, I’d never really let him in. And he had never really given me the chance to love all of him. Now that the part he’s been afraid to show me is rampaging through the woods, I’m not about to prove his doubt right.
I pant when I get to the top of a hill. Ok, I have not really been building enough stamina for sprinting like this with my rambling hikes. When my other shoe falls off and rolls down to the bottom again, I know I don’t have it in me to go back and get it. Hiking up my torn skirt, I force myself on, the pine needles and fallen leaves crunching underfoot.
Now that I am starting to feel out of breath, I’m starting to doubt—not my convictions, but that my physical form can keep up with a werewolf’s ability to run cross country.
I start to slow down when I find a half-ripped pair of pants on the ground. I blink at it, wondering if one of them slowed down enough to take his pants off before ruining them.
. . . Weird. Ok. Not going to linger on this, I decide, and keep moving.
I don’t recognize this part of the woods; it is deeper than I have ever been in them before. Normally it is easy to glimpse out of the canopy to other hills dotted with houses and know I’m not far from the rest of Mystic Falls. But now all I can see, whenever I reach a patch where the branches clear enough to see the sky, is the bright moon overhead.
Then I hear them, snapping and snarling at one another. I hurry on, following the noise and finding a path of debris, broken branches and tree trunks with large scratches gouged into them.
A loud, vicious growl reverberates through the woods, raising the hair on the back of my neck, followed by a hurt whimper.
“SHAWN!” I yell in response, not knowing which sound had been him.
I skid to a stop, catching myself against a tree when I see them.
They are not truly wolves, but I can see why it would be easy to mistake them as such. They stand as if human, hunched over by their beastly transformations, taller and broader, sharper.
Beastly in every sense of the word.
And yet, with how completely different they look from themselves, I still recognize Shawn from the two of them. I can see him now, even with the tail, ears, and fur.
There are glimpses of his features, his frame, in the beast form.
I know the shape of his hands, the knuckle and bone that protrude in the same way, even with the long claws extended. The shape of his jaw is not so different in a muzzle, even with the fangs.
Shawn turns around and looks at me first, the moonlight reflecting off his eyes as they narrow.
The other wolf, Logan. He turned before he attacked Shawn back in the Hayes’ backyard.
The moment Logan notices me, a growl that sounds more annoyed than anything else emanates from him. He moves toward me, slow and menacing, but cuts short as Shawn lunges at us and knocks him onto his back. I dive aside the best I can, but it’s obvious that tackle hadn’t been meant for me in the slightest.
Shawn stands over Logan, snarling with claws extended. His little brother gets a foot under himself, pushing back across the ground and out from under Shawn’s reach.
With a shrug that seems all too familiar, the way brothers are, he runs off, tail between his legs.
And then, Shawn turns his eyes on me.
I thought I knew what fear felt like. But it doesn’t feel the way I knew it at all, the involuntary trembling, a dizzy confusion, the hot flush across my skin, the electric wave through me from head to toe. The ache between my legs.
Fear feels oddly exquisite, when I trust him. It’s almost like excitement.
He approaches me slowly, smoothly on all four, somehow deft and agile at his greater, lumbering size.
He stops about ten feet back, bringing a knee up to stand. His gaze takes hold of mine as he draws himself up to full height, until he is absolutely towering over me.
God, I’m wet for that.
His nostrils flare, and I know he can tell. I fall back a step, a fleeting urge to do what fear should have told me to; a branch snaps under my foot.
All his fur bristles at the sound, his posture tensing up. My heart beats wildly in my throat.
Now I know what was wrong with all those dreams, that they truly were dreams. He was chasing me in those. I had left hoping he would chase me, hoping he would choose me. What I wanted, what I thought I needed, was for him to show me I mattered to him enough.
But wanting someone to chase you without actually asking for it just looks like walking away. Of course, he wouldn’t.
Instead of running, I allow myself to fall.
His body cages over mine as the ground comes up to meet me; a pile of leaves takes the worst of it. I feel the springy bumps of mossy ground underneath me when the world stops spinning so much. My leg is caught between us at an awkward angle, my foot pushes to his clavicle as he leans his body over mine. As much as my leg is what’s holding us apart, the position spreads my legs open.
He stops just short of pressing his body to mine, a low growl shivering across my stomach as his claws dig into the ground on either side of me.
Perhaps someone with a better sense of self-preservation would be terrified. Someone with that wouldn’t be in this situation at all, but I find tenderness in the way he drags the blunt edge of his fangs against the vulnerable curve between my neck and shoulder.
“Shawn,” I breathe, reaching up, finding handfuls of his thick coat, carding my fingers through it. “Shh, it’s just us.”
His breath clouds hot on my neck and the world slows down; and there is only the two of us here in the dark.
I feel my body shaking, quivering beneath his, despite my deliberate choice to stay, with an instinct to flee I am holding back. But the danger of it wakes something in me, something that has been rousing in my dreams these last few weeks. The needy ache between my thighs, wet enough that even I can smell it.
I truly do not have any kind of plan to work off. I wasn’t even sure if he would recognize me like this. And maybe it was crazy to think that he might just turn back into a human the moment I hold him again, or some other equally hare-brained hope.
But I knew Shawn had never hurt me on purpose. And this is still him.
He growls almost imperceptibly low, and at first, I don’t recognize my name embedded within it.
“You . . . should go,” he says, the words almost lost within the gravelly voice.
“No,” I insist, my voice cracking on the single syllable. I swallow, bringing my hands to hold his face. “I want to be here for you. You’re hurting.”
“I never wanted you to see me like this,” he manages to grind out between his clenched, bared teeth.
It breaks my heart to hear him say that. All I can do is offer quietly, “I know.”
More emphatically, he growls, almost snarls, a dire plea to keep me at arm’s length, “You can’t want me like this.”
The truth, the silent breaker of all bonds: fear. It is so easy to recognize, now that I have left it behind.
“What?” I breathe. A damn bursts in my chest, I almost sit up with indignation at the injustice that someone I love so fiercely could truly believe this makes him unlovable.
“Did you think you could scare me off with this? God, Shawn, I thought you were cheating on me for most of our relationship.”
His whole body stills, not even a breath escapes him. Hot tears start to creep up in my eyes to admit this much to him, to show him how utterly pathetic I’d been for his love once upon a time.
“And the way that broke my heart, that I could never be enough for someone I loved as much as you. And I still stayed and let it chip away at my self-worth because I didn’t want to let go of the person I thought I knew and loved. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did.”
I feel a tear break containment from my lashes, rolling straight back into my hair.
I bury my face in his neck, and exhale deep into his coat. “But staying here, now . . . this will be the easiest. It feels more natural than breathing. I want what you said before. I want to give us another chance, with all of you this time.”
He nuzzles my cheek a little, and a sigh escapes me, melts the sorrow in me. It doesn’t matter now, not when we’re here, and I feel ready to approach who we are to each other with more wisdom.
And . . . well. It’s hard to ignore his hardening cock as it bobs in the air, twitching over my wet, needy pussy. I did say all of him.
His wolf cock is longer and girthier than I had ever seen his regular dick before, veined and shaped a little differently. The head looks dark pink and lush to the touch, the shaft’s skin velvety.
Glinting in the moonlight, a thick, white bead of precum drips onto my leg, and I whimper as I realize we’re actually going to do this in the woods, right now.
“Oh, um, actually, maybe I should take this off before anything else,” I squeak, and look at Shawn, realizing it’s going to involve quite a bit of rolling around in the dirt. He sniffs along my neck, his claws dragging up my legs, scoring my tights and catching on the hem of my dress.
I start fumbling for the annoying tiny zipper. No sooner than I get it open, he realizes what I am doing, and cuts the remaining skirt open with a swipe of his claw.
Ok, I am going to have to yell at him about that later; right now I am too horny to really be concerned with work clothes. I shuffle out of the remaining dress and let my legs fall open, almost whimpering when he dips his head between them.
He flicks his tongue across my clit; my body attunes to even his breath ghosting across my skin. I cry out, my head tipping back at the contact. Next, his wolf snout is nuzzled to my pussy, his hot, soft tongue lapping at my clit, dipping deep in my cunt.
He licks greedily, without the preamble of tender kisses. Each drag of his scorching tongue through my folds makes the most-obscene wet noises. I’m fighting the way my hips need to buck into his mouth for more.
My clit is too quickly over-stimulated from his eager attention, and I have to push him away. No sooner than I pull his snout upwards, he’s licking at my tits, finding some other way to pleasure me.
“Sh-Shawn,” I gasp, my body shaking, quivering. I need the closeness of his body rutting into mine, to just feel completely embraced. “I need you in me, so bad.”
He lets out a sound, hungry and possessive, but holds back.
“Elise, I want you, all of you. I haven’t changed in that,” he says like it’s a warning, but the words only make my cheeks bloom red, my body overcome with a new warmth.
Even lying naked on the ground in the woods. I glance to the side and suddenly I don’t know what to do with my hands. All our old problems don’t seem so big. Maybe we can solve a decade of feeling like I wasn’t enough with just a little possessiveness.
Instead of just letting flustered embarrassment take over, I flourish in how happy his words make me and breathe, “Then take me, I’m yours.”
“You don’t understand. I want you selfishly, greedily, I want to mark you as mine,” he growls, dragging his teeth against the soft, vulnerable flesh of my breast. The blunted edge of one fang grazes against my hardened nipple, teasing me.
“I think I understand that. I’m ready, Shawn.”
“You understand that you’d be my mate?” he growls and presses his teeth just hard enough to begin to pinch, but not break the skin, demonstrating what he means by mating me. It’s marking me. A bite.
And my hips actually twitch at the thought, and I try not to moan aloud in response.
Saying yes doesn’t seem to be getting the message across, so I just roll over onto my stomach, pushing onto my hands and knees.
Face down, ass up.
In response, the low rumbling growl in his chest gutters, becoming almost a snarl. A slight breeze brushes across the wetness of my exposed pussy, making me shiver in anticipation.
I let out a hiss as his cockhead presses at my entrance, a palpable heat difference between his tip and my labia. He drags the head through my folds as he lines his hips up to mine, and I stretch out my arms before me, bracing myself for the way he’s about to break my back, hopefully.
Finally, he pushes into me, stretching my cunt to capacity almost immediately. I moan in pleasure, and he gives a few slow, experimental thrusts, wetting his cock in me.
“Mark me, mate me,” I pant, begging almost incoherently. I’m not afraid of it hurting.
I want to do this. I crave every sensation adding to everything else I’m feeling.
He hooks his clawed hands under my knees and takes me off the ground, lifting me up. The change in position spreads my legs wider, pinning my back to his chest. I’d never felt so entirely thrown-around-able, if that’s a thing. He is just so strong; I had no idea how much he’d been holding himself back from me. It is breathtaking to experience him so entirely. I know in that moment I could never regret him.
“Ah!” I gasp, almost wailing in pleasure. I feel decadent and pornographic, and I need more.
His arms curl under my legs, my jiggly thighs squish around his hard biceps, and he gives a sharp rock of his hips, making me bounce in the air. It’s terribly exposed on my part, but it’s a very good vantage point to admire his arms from, how tense and big they are from holding me up. Each time he pumps into me, I get a brief vision of my tits wobbling violently, as the collision of his body into mine moves the world, tilts me on an unfamiliar axis, and barrels all the breath out of my body.
Each drive feels less careful than the last, each more frenzied. Just as I’m starting to question if I’ll be able to withstand this entirely different field of stamina, I recognize the catch in his breath.
It gives into the throaty groan Shawn always makes moments before he comes. I can feel the beginning of his knot start to swell. It slows his strokes, hindering them each time his growing knot meets my cunt, pushing a little further, cutting off the full swing of the motion each time, leaving it incomplete.
I can feel him coming hot within me, adding a slickness to every stroke.
He falls back upon the wood’s leaf-covered floor, his arms closing around me. The world swings wildly, gravity taking me fully down over his knot, essentially suplexing me.
The full length of his wolf cock and knot sink deep inside me, and the breath is almost knocked out of me. I don’t even feel the landing, just the impact ringing in my cervix.
His hips pounding into mine quickly comes to a stop as his cock is locked inside of me, only an inch or so of room to make friction. My body is pinned back against his, all I can do is pant and whimper as he drags a clawed hand through my folds, finding my sensitive clit with the pad of a finger.
My pelvis is still numb from the collision of his knot just barely fitting inside me the last time he rammed into me, but the added touch ratchets me to a horizon of sensation I can barely withstand. It is something fast and unwieldy, a pleasure so intense I can’t keep it contained. I let out the most-obscene moan, arching back into him. I can’t care less how it sounds or if there is anyone at all who can hear me out in the woods.
My voice breaks out into a squeal, until I’m gasping for breaths between whines of pleasure. My inner walls start clenching uncontrollably in my climax. It blooms in me, a warm, soft heat that relaxes every part of my body it spreads to.
I grind my hips back against his, desperate to work what little friction I can and ride my climax out. Each punctuated rut ends on a twitch and a spurt, the aftershocks of my climax squeezing around his knot. He lets out a groan that is almost human again, his wolf cock twitches and spurts again.
I whimper, utterly unable to take any more.
I don’t remember Shawn biting me, when he sunk his teeth into the meaty part of my upper arm. It must have happened when I was lost in the throes of pleasure. I just notice the sting of it finally able to be heard as all the other sensations lessen, his teeth dislodging from my arm.
I’m so dizzy and maybe even delirious from that orgasm, I don’t even really know how long he was biting me for. I can feel his enormous load in me, oozing through the almost nonexistent space between his knot and my reddened, twitching cunt.
“We could have been doing that for eight years,” I mutter, and there’s a ghost of a laugh in his breath.
We lie there a long time, just breathing, his knot tying me close to him. Honestly after all that, I don’t know that I’d be able to move if I wanted to, even to roll over. I feel like I need a cool down stretch and maybe some Advil.
The pearly white fluid seeps out of me the next time Shawn moves to adjust me against him, the swell of his knot finally starting to go down. He makes no move to pull out, and honestly might have fallen asleep. I’m not far behind on that, so I decide to just make myself comfortable, laying my head against his chest, feeling safe with his arms around me.
Shawn still loves me, and it kicks ass, honestly.
It’s like finding my favorite sweatshirt that had been lost for a long, long time; it’s like standing in a gorgeous sunbeam; it’s like that mystical hazy memory of lying down in the grass before you knew there were so many bugs down there. Cozy. Something I missed.
It’s not the same as the first time we got married. It’s not a promise to commit to forever, to hold on so tight it leaves no room for healthy doubt. It’s a commitment to growing together. It’s different because we’re different. We know we’re flawed, and that makes us able to work with those flaws.
Alright, let’s give this another try; see where it goes. Whatever happens, it will be worth every moment.