Chapter 29
Draggar
Sard. Haley feels so good. And so right.
I could have searched the universe over for hundreds of years and never found a mate more perfect for me than Haley. She is everything I could have dreamed of – no, she is more than I could have ever possibly dreamed.
Her breathy moans and sighs are like a sweet melody to my ears as I sink my cock into her wet heat. Her cunt is soft and hot, and she clenches around me so perfectly, forcing me to grit my teeth against the urge to explode inside her immediately. I am determined my mate will find her pleasure again before I do.
Everything around us ceases to exist, and my focus narrows to just the two of us. A herd of dicro could stampede through the clearing, and I would not be able to pull my attention away from the beauty of my mate as she throws her head back as I plunge into her.
The flush on her cheeks has spread down to stain her chest a becoming shade of pink. Her blue eyes are dark and glazed over with desire and the sweetly intoxicating perfume that is the essence of my mate in need surrounds us in a cloud that makes my mouth water and heats my mateblood further.
Haley’s legs grip me tighter against her rolling hips and her mouth falls open on a gasp as I angle my cock to penetrate her cunt deeper. “Fuck, Draggar, that feels so good. You feel so good.”
Her words inflame me further and I can feel the tingling in my chest increase as the bond between us is strengthened further. The sensation soon turns into a blaze of feeling, and it spreads outward from my heart through my veins and nerve endings until my entire body is awash with it.
My second heart, the one that belongs to my amoris, pounds in my ears in a relentless beat. The joy and pleasure I feel reaches out and joins with Haley until the connection between us is so strong and enmeshed that it is almost a visible tie stretching between us and joining us together. Her eyes widen and lock with mine.
Her pleasure is mine, and mine is hers.
I can feel the tremors that rack her spine as I relentlessly drive my cock into her. Seeing and feeling my mate enjoy her pleasure drives my own arousal even higher and the sound of my name on her tongue is indescribable.
The intense connection between us is almost too much, and at the same time, it is not enough. It will never be enough, and I know with certainty that I will hunger for it and most importantly for her for all my days.
Haley’s fingers clasp onto my shoulders as she lets out a muffled shriek that rings in my ears as I feel the swell of pleasure crash over her. The walls of her cunt clench around my cock as if she’s trying to hold me inside her forever.
I grunt and bite down on my lip as my balls draw up tight and I cannot hold myself back any longer.
“My amoris. Haley!” I gasp out as I surge into her.
My cock swells, and with a groan that feels like it has been wrenched from deep within my spirit, I erupt in throbbing pulses and my seed fills her cunt.
As the aftershocks of pleasure tingle through my muscles, I luxuriate in the blissful peace that echoes from my mate’s spirit. I bury my face against the smooth skin of Haley’s neck, so unlike my own, and I pant, trying hard to slow down my racing heartbeats.
Each time we join together, the bond between us grows stronger, and if there were ever any doubts in my mind that we are spirit mates, those doubts have been laid entirely to rest. This strange alien who has journeyed from so far away is mine, and I am hers.
Heart, body, mind, and spirit.
Moments or hours pass as we stay joined together as one recovering from our exertions with tremors still traveling through my mate. I’m not sure how long we stay that way, but the next thing I am aware of is my mate humming under her breath as she strokes her fingers over the muscles of my back.
My head is still buried against her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent. I take my time to press a long kiss against her skin that ends with a rough swipe of my tongue. The salty taste of her perspiration explodes in my mouth, and I groan as my softening cock begins to thicken again.
Haley laughs softly and the sound washes over me.
I can feel the happiness and contentment bubbling up inside her, and it makes my spirit glad that the worry she has carried around with her all day long has disappeared. At least, for now. I wish for my mate to always be happy and to never worry over anything.
And if it is as I suspect and she wants to return to her home planet, then I must help her. The need to ease her worries makes my stomach clench, and I know exactly what I must tell Haley.
Besides, Haley is too delicate and kind for the harsh environment of Laedirissae. She belongs back on the safety of her planet, and I will find a way to make that happen. I only hope she will allow me to accompany her. I do not care if I live here or on Earth, but I do not want to leave my mate’s side. Even if that means leaving my home and my tribe.
After we finally separate, we finish our soak in the hot spring then don our clothes and begin our walk back to the campsite, I realize now is the time to talk to her about returning to Earth. While we are still alone.
I place a hand on Haley’s arm and say, “I am relieved to see you smiling again, amoris. It pained me to see your worry today.” The gentle smile that had curved her lips disappears and a pang of guilt shoots through me for ruining her happiness.
“I don’t. . . I don’t. . .” She exhales roughly, then continues, “You’re right, there is something that’s been bothering me.”
My mate looks like she has the entire weight of Laedirissae on her shoulders as she takes a deep breath. Her shoulders are drawn stiff with tension, and I wish more than anything that I could ease her. I can’t bear to see Haley suffer anymore, and even though it pains me to think that I might be parted from her, I do not wish for her to ever be unhappy.
I open my mouth and the words tumble out, “I will help you return to Earth.”
“Earth?” She seems startled, her eyebrows arch high on her forehead. “You want me to go back to Earth?”
I chuckle mirthlessly and shake my head. “I do not want you to go anywhere but into my arms, but I wish for you to be happy. If planet Earth makes you happy, then I will do everything in my power to return you to it. I do not know where Earth is or how to acquire a ship to take you there, but I will search the universe in its entirety for the rest of my days to return you to your home if that is what you want. I vow this to you.” I touch a balled-up fist to my chest, right over my second heart where I can feel the essence of Haley settled inside me, as I make my promise to her.
My mate is frozen still and her face is so solemn and almost sad that I wonder if I have made a mistake. I wonder if she will tell me that she doesn’t want my help at all, that she wishes to never see me again. My hearts speed up and doubt creeps into my thoughts.
Then, Haley’s full lips tip up in a soft smile, and she launches herself against my chest with her arms clasped around my neck.
“That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” Tears silently fall from Haley’s eyes and streak down her flushed cheeks, and I feel a jolt of alarm that she is hurt before that feeling is quickly replaced with arousal as her mouth fuses with mine in a scorching kiss.
Even though I can feel the smile on Haley’s lips against mine, there is still something not quite right. That same ball of anxiety that suffused my mate’s spirit earlier is still there and its echo burns inside my chest. It has settled over her like a dark mantle hiding the soft seed of happiness trying to blossom inside her.
Something is still troubling her, and if it is not the thought of remaining here on Laedirissae, then what is it? I pull back from our embrace and clear my throat, trying to find the right words to ask her, but Haley speaks first.
Her eyebrows are drawn together tightly as she gulps and says, “There is something I need to talk to you about.” Her beautiful expressive eyes glisten with unshed tears and my gut clenches at the sight. “I know you think I’m your spirit mate, but. . .” She pauses for a moment and her face is a mask of agony that makes both of my hearts race in fear.
“I promised myself I would be completely honest with you. This morning, when you touched my stomach and talked of the future, I. . . I can’t be what you need.” She shakes her head. “I’m not whole. I’m not perfect. I can’t be your mate.”
Misery cloaks my mate’s spirit as she chokes back a sob, and her face is paler than I’ve ever seen it. My chest clenches at the sight of her pain, but I do not understand the words she is speaking – Haley is my mate, and she is perfect in my eyes.
I reach out to touch her cheek, but she flinches away from my hand. She takes a deep gulp of air and draws her shoulders back as if she is bracing herself to face a flock of attacking anuroi. “I can’t have children. I can’t give you that future.”
I struggle for a moment to process what she has said, and in my silence, Haley continues to speak, her voice trembling as the words pour from her mouth in a nervous rush. “I have a medical condition called endometriosis. Basically, my reproductive system is totally fucked up. I had surgery a few years ago, but the doctor said there was too much scarring.”
So many of the words Haley uses are unknown to me, but I understand enough that alarm for my mate clouds my brain. There is only one clear thought that echoes over and over.
“Are you all right? Please tell me it is not fatal. We must find Warrix.” I clasp my hands around her arms and wildly look behind her to the path beyond that leads to the campsite and to the medic. I cannot lose her. Not now that we have only just found each other. She cannot die.
“No, no. . . it’s not going to kill me.”
Her words cause my shoulders to immediately sag with relief and I feel like I can breathe again as I pull Haley towards me for an embrace.
After a moment, she pulls back from me and continues, “But it’s painful sometimes, and it means I will never have children. It took me a long time to come to terms with that, and I thought I finally had until Ch-Chad. . .” She stumbles over her words. “Until my boyfriend, Chad, cheated on me with another woman and blamed it on me. He said I wasn’t a real woman. He said. . . he said I was damaged.” The last sentence is said on a rough exhale of breath and Haley’s gaze drops from mine. Pink rises in her cheeks and swiftly spreads down her neck.
The chip Vrenner implanted inside me does a good job translating most of Haley’s words, but sometimes – like now – there is still confusion that frustrates me. I do not understand some of the things my mate says, and yet, I think I comprehend the general idea. A human male broke his commitment to my mate and chose another female over her, and he had the gall to place the blame on my precious mate for his actions. He hurt my mate.
This Chaaddoes not sound like an honorable male. He sounds like the lowest of beings. My Haley deserves better than to be discarded and treated like she is nothing. She is everything.
Before I can respond, my mate clears her throat. “And then, this morning, you touched my stomach and you sounded so excited about our future together, but I can’t give you that future. I will never be able to give it to you.” Tears roll down Haley’s face as she chokes out the last words on a sob and she begins to cry in earnest.
I gather my mate in my arms and try my best to soothe her, murmuring words of comfort and stroking my hand over her hair. She buries her head against my neck and my skin grows wet from her tears. I wish I could take away every moment of hurt she has felt, but all I can do is stay by her side and offer the little comfort that I can. But it does not feel like enough.
After a while, her tears fade until they’re replaced with soft sniffles. She eventually leans back and looks up at me with watery, reddened eyes, waiting expectantly for my reaction. I cup her face in my hands and rub my thumbs over the tracks left by her tears as I search for the words to make her understand how I feel. To make her understand how precious she is to me.
My voice is soft as I speak. “This former mate of yours. . . this Chaad, he sounds like the most dishonorable of fools. There was a saying in the old language ancient Laediriians spoke. . . Scummi ahv awa. It means excrement of algae. It was and still is one of the worst insults. That is what that male is. If I could reach across the universe, I would make him suffer for the way he mistreated you.” My gaze locks with hers and I hope she understands how serious and sincere I am.
“As far as your ability to have kitlings. . . it does not matter to me.” Haley shakes her head and opens her mouth to respond, and I raise my brow at her. “Whether or not you can have kitlings does not make you any less of a female and it does not make us any less mated. Nor does it make me love you any less. Just the opposite, in fact. It makes me love you even more because of how strong and courageous you are. It makes me cherish you even more than I already did. You are my future. You are my amoris, my love, and you are perfect in my eyes.”
Haley interrupts. “But the mate bond. . . it’s supposed to pick the perfect mate for you, and it obviously made a mistake when it picked me for you.”
I shake my head at her words and stroke my hands down her back. I do not want to let go of my mate, and perhaps, if I continue to touch her, she will absorb the sincerity of my words. And my love for her.
“The amorisbond has never been about reproducing. It is about finding our spirit’s ideal complement. Kitlings have never been a guarantee or even needed for a couple to be joined together by the amorisbond. In fact, before the amoris bonds disappeared same sex bonds happened sometimes between Laediriians, and those bonds did not produce kitlings. The amoris bond is about being connected to the being who makes our spirit whole. It is a special bond unlike any other. That is why the amoris bond is important to our culture and why we cherish it.” I murmur as I wrap my arms around her again and Haley moves into them willingly.
“And your other point. . . the amoris bond does not actually pick our mate. It only enhances feelings and desires that are already there. Sometimes, it points us in the right direction of our mate, someone we may not have realized we were drawn to, but it does not create the emotions we feel for each other. It does not create the love I feel for you.” I fill my lungs up with a deep breath and plunge ahead with my next words.
“Both mates must be willing parties to the amoris bond. If you do not wish to be bonded to me, I will understand.” The words taste like ashes in my mouth, and I cannot believe I am saying them, but I mean them. “You are everything to me, and I want you to be happy. No matter what.”
Even if losing her will feel like my hearts are being ripped out of my chest, I only want her to be happy. If it means never seeing my wonderful, beautiful, courageous, intelligent mate again, it will be worth it just to know she is happy and safe. I will yearn for her until I die, but I will die at peace.